Today I've been contemplating two pretty cool things:
1. iPods make it so that you can have a soundtrack to your life. I was walking around today with my iPod in and I felt like I was in a movie. Has anyone else had that experience, or is it just me? I could imagine what different camera angles would be used with different parts of the song. I know that may sound lame...but there was something about it that was kind of cool.
2. What is it about human nature that is never satisfied? Example: I was on campus today--I went up to meet Doug for lunch (that's why I was walking around with an iPod)--and I realized how wonderful my undergrad experience was. I miss lectures so badly...I don't miss the homework...but I would give anything to go back to lectures. I started thinking about all the different places that I lived and all the different people that I lived with. I loved so much about the whole experience...but I also remember how much time I spent complaining about what a dump certain appartments were, or how obnoxious/rude/inconsiderate/(insert rude adjective here) certain roommates were...and it's only now that I see what a waste of time and energy that is, because now it seems like I was just being rediculous!--like nothing was ever as bad as I thought. I can look back and see so many great things about different times of my life.
How did I get it so wrong? Why was I so ready to complain about things that weren't really there? And it makes me worry/wonder what else am I go to miss while I'm complaining about something else that isn't real? Which then begs the question, how do I change? How do I keep myself from making the same mistake through the next part of my life?--a part that will most likely involve children; a part that I deffinitely don't want to miss. To just say that I wont complain about anything at all is dumb, because it creates a potential for ignoring problems which is one of the worst things anyone can do...so I guess that means that this is going to involve some kind balance between acknowledment of problems, and a kind of discipline to actively seek out the postive that must exist--even when I'm blinded by the negative. But then how do I know where the line is? What equals balance? I believe that the deffiniton of balance is different for everyone--I can't believe that there is any kind of formula from which I can figure out what will create balance. So then how do I find my balance?
This is just another one of those questions that I don't really expect an answer to...I just had to articulate it...and throw it out there.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
So, over the last few months I've been trying to make some changes in my life, and this has led me to asking myself some very deep and searching questions, and all of these deep and searching questions have led me to ask to more questions...surprise, surprise.
One of the things I've been hearing over and over again is a quote that says "We are not afraid of failing. We are afraid of succeeding-- we are afraid of all of the potential, and power inside of us." What is that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to be literal? Because if it is then---and I don't know about anyone else, but---I have to say that I can't ever remember backing away from something because I was afraid of succeeding...the only things I have ever shied away from are things at which I thought I might fail.
I know this is odd and random...I just had to throw this question out there...
One of the things I've been hearing over and over again is a quote that says "We are not afraid of failing. We are afraid of succeeding-- we are afraid of all of the potential, and power inside of us." What is that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to be literal? Because if it is then---and I don't know about anyone else, but---I have to say that I can't ever remember backing away from something because I was afraid of succeeding...the only things I have ever shied away from are things at which I thought I might fail.
I know this is odd and random...I just had to throw this question out there...
Monday, September 29, 2008
I don't know
More than anything, this blog is for me...trying to really iron out my thoughts, beliefs, and opinions...hoping that I'll be able to really figure it all out as I try to articulate it.
Socrates is credited with having said, "The more I know, the more I know I don't know!" Right now I feel like there is so much that don't know...so does that mean that I actually know a lot?...I'm not sure.
DISCLAIMER: Before I get into the meat of this--my first real post, it is probably only fair that I explain where I'm going to be coming from for most of this. I have a psych degree, and those are the lenses through which I choose to view life-- emotional interactions, the meaning of all different aspects of the world in which we live...if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, then I would not blame anyone for not reading any further. OH, and PLEASE do NOT make the mistake of confusing me with the theoretical orientations of conventional psychology...I'm sure that will turn into it's post somewhere down the line...
First thing that I don't understand: What is it about revenge that makes people think they will feel better? Let me explain where this one is coming from. We recently bought a TV, and in the last few weeks we've watched so many episodes of Law and Order that I have the formula for the show memorized and I can usually tell in the first 15 mins of the episode where it is going and who the bad guy is (pathetic, I know)...but as I've watched it I've seen this theme--almost everyone wants revenge on someone else, either it's a mother who wants revenge on the person who killed her daughter, or it a wife who wants revenge on her husband for cheating on her, or a businessman who wants revenge on an associate for somehow screwing him out of a butt-load of money...and all of these people are somehow convinced that revenge will make everything better.
WHY? This makes no sense to me. I've endured my fair share of challenges in life. I know what it's like to hurt and know that the hurt you feel is not your fault, but the result of someone else's choice (I don't really want to go into details, but I want to make sure that people understand that I'm talking about big-time stuff here)...and I think the last time that I dreamed about revenge I was 12. I'm not trying to paint myself as some wonderful person. I have to admit that even though I've never wanted to run anyone over with a truck, I wouldn't be heart-broken if someone else were to run over the foot of someone who hurt me...with a 16 wheeler.
But I can't figure out what it is that makes people think that they will feel better if they can just torture, shoot, or somehow injur the offending person or maim their life. I think that the best way to let go of something is to forgive...it's reeally hard to do, I know. In a few instances it has taken me 10 plus years to forgive some people...but finding the strength to do so can make someone the better person. You change, you grow, you mature, you find things that matter more than your pride...or whatever it is you think your revenge will set right. It wont bring someone back from the dead, it wont undo a spouse's cheating, it wont bring back all of the money you think you've lost...it wont change a thing. In the end all it amounts to is an emotional release for the person who believes they've been wounded (even at that, while some people truly have been wronged, others just have an over-developed sense of what they believe is due/owed to them). And there are a butt-load of emotional releases that are ten million times more effective. I don't even have any real way to wrap this up...its more of a cliff hanger, I guess. But I guess that's the point anyway--I don't know...I just plain don't know.
Socrates is credited with having said, "The more I know, the more I know I don't know!" Right now I feel like there is so much that don't know...so does that mean that I actually know a lot?...I'm not sure.
DISCLAIMER: Before I get into the meat of this--my first real post, it is probably only fair that I explain where I'm going to be coming from for most of this. I have a psych degree, and those are the lenses through which I choose to view life-- emotional interactions, the meaning of all different aspects of the world in which we live...if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, then I would not blame anyone for not reading any further. OH, and PLEASE do NOT make the mistake of confusing me with the theoretical orientations of conventional psychology...I'm sure that will turn into it's post somewhere down the line...
First thing that I don't understand: What is it about revenge that makes people think they will feel better? Let me explain where this one is coming from. We recently bought a TV, and in the last few weeks we've watched so many episodes of Law and Order that I have the formula for the show memorized and I can usually tell in the first 15 mins of the episode where it is going and who the bad guy is (pathetic, I know)...but as I've watched it I've seen this theme--almost everyone wants revenge on someone else, either it's a mother who wants revenge on the person who killed her daughter, or it a wife who wants revenge on her husband for cheating on her, or a businessman who wants revenge on an associate for somehow screwing him out of a butt-load of money...and all of these people are somehow convinced that revenge will make everything better.
WHY? This makes no sense to me. I've endured my fair share of challenges in life. I know what it's like to hurt and know that the hurt you feel is not your fault, but the result of someone else's choice (I don't really want to go into details, but I want to make sure that people understand that I'm talking about big-time stuff here)...and I think the last time that I dreamed about revenge I was 12. I'm not trying to paint myself as some wonderful person. I have to admit that even though I've never wanted to run anyone over with a truck, I wouldn't be heart-broken if someone else were to run over the foot of someone who hurt me...with a 16 wheeler.
But I can't figure out what it is that makes people think that they will feel better if they can just torture, shoot, or somehow injur the offending person or maim their life. I think that the best way to let go of something is to forgive...it's reeally hard to do, I know. In a few instances it has taken me 10 plus years to forgive some people...but finding the strength to do so can make someone the better person. You change, you grow, you mature, you find things that matter more than your pride...or whatever it is you think your revenge will set right. It wont bring someone back from the dead, it wont undo a spouse's cheating, it wont bring back all of the money you think you've lost...it wont change a thing. In the end all it amounts to is an emotional release for the person who believes they've been wounded (even at that, while some people truly have been wronged, others just have an over-developed sense of what they believe is due/owed to them). And there are a butt-load of emotional releases that are ten million times more effective. I don't even have any real way to wrap this up...its more of a cliff hanger, I guess. But I guess that's the point anyway--I don't know...I just plain don't know.
Friday, September 12, 2008
How vain are we?...I'm sitting here laughing as I create this, thinking that no one will care about what I have to say...the only reason I created this bolg was so that I could make comments on the blog of a friend of mine ( so if someone does read this and thinks its ridiculous, blame him.)....oh well.
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