School's out!

So yesterday I walked out of the warehouse where my med school is for the last time! Just finished a five day Board Exam review (called the PANCE, as mentioned before) with a guy we'll call Joe (his real name). Some of the pieces of advice he had about studying for Boards were pretty funny;
1. Find a quiet place to study, someplace even the N.S.A. won't be able to find you.
2. Don't make any big changes in your life: don't move, don't get pregnant (not a problem for me). If you're in a bad relationship, don't break up, it'll still be bad in a month after your boards, you can end it then.
3. Don't study for more than 12 hours in a day (again, not a problem for me).
4. During his review session, turn off your cell phones. If you're a girl and he hears your cell phone ring, he'll answer it, and he'll be the other man in your life. If you're a boy and he hears your cell phone ring...he'll also be the other man in your life (at this point all the guys frantically searched for their cell phones to set them to "off").

So now I'm done with Physician Assistant school and onto my board exams! Man, that took forever! Since I started this I've been getting medical questions from everyone! "My kid's eye is dripping green goo, what should I do?" Go to the Emergency Room. "My kid fell and hit his head and now is speaking Mandarin Chinese, what should I do?" Go to the Emergency Room. "After I crashed on my four wheeler yesterday my arm feels like it's detached from my body, what should I do?" Go to the Emergency Room. "I cut my arm while dressing out an Elk and it's spurting bright red blood, what should I do?" Go to the Emergency Room NOW. And the list goes on. I won't share the more graphic complaints...ewwww, makes me shudder just thinking about some of them.

Honestly I don't mind getting calls with medical questions, I feel like I'm needed. Just remember, it's hard to diagnose things over the phone. You can try sending me pictures of your ailment, but please, nothing toooooo disgusting. I'm done checking stool samples for colorectal cancer by cell phone.

So now I move onto the realm where my advice can actually get me into trouble since I'll be a licensed medical practitioner: "I just got hit int he eye by a baseball and now I'm seeing things out of my right ear, what should I do?" I'll meet you at the Emergency Room.

This career is gonna be fun!

Surgeons

So I'm in the OR today doing a nasal fracture reduction (fixing a broken nose) and got some goods on the surgeons. Kind of lame, but here goes:

What are the four biggest lies you'll hear from a surgeon?
1. This won't hurt much.
2. This will only take about 5 minutes
3. I won't charge you toooooo much.
4. Good job anesthesia!

Of course it was an anesthesiologist that told me this one.

Done with rotations on Wednesday! Wahoooo! Then it's onto taking the big bad Physician Assistant National Certification Exam (PANCE) . The one good piece of advice I got for this was "Hey, don't mess your PANCE!"