This was something one of the Physical Therapist's drew for me. It was a basic description of a patient's health history. I'll see if I can do it justice:

.......................................................o
..................................................x ...x
...........................................x........... x
......................................x ..................x
................................x .........................x
.........................x .................................x ^
....................x .......................................z ^
...............x ............................................z ^
.........x ..................................................z ^
....x .......................................................z ^
..x .........................................................z ^
x ...........................................................z ^
TIME:-->------------->------>--------->. General Health (up^)
"This is a graph of my health history. I was doing pretty good until 'o' which is when I realized I could cook bacon whenever I wanted. Then things really went bad at 'z' when I discovered you could buy just frosting in a can."

Yes, the patient is morbidly obese if you had to ask.

Dumb medical jokes

These are a few jokes medical folks may appreciate more than others but some are pretty good:

-How do you hide a $100 bill from an Internist?  Hide it under a bandage.

-All bleeding stops eventually.

-A well known cardiologist recently passed away.  As per his last request he was buried in an extremely ornate carved coffin the shape of a heart.  When the funeral procession arrived there were roars of laughter from the gallery.  The Gynecologist and the Gastroenterologist were wondering aloud what kind of coffins THEY would be buried in.

-A patient recently came back to our office and said that she refused to go back to the cardiologist's office because his staff was so RUDE!  The doctor replied that he was sure the staff at the mortuary was much nicer...the patient rescheduled.

- An obstetrician recently decided to go to auto mechanics school.  At the end of the semester the final exam was to take apart and rebuild an engine.  The obstetrician got his score card back after the test and he received 150 points out of 100.  He asked the instructor why the extra credit; Instructor:  "Well, we gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart, another 50 for rebuilding it correctly, and then decided to award an addition 50 for doing it all through the tailpipe."

Have a good one!  -BARTMAN