Dear heartburn,
I've been expecting you, just not so soon! Usually you come around the beginning of the third trimester. This time, you arrived right at the beginning of the whole pregnancy, giving me zero time to prepare for you! Even water makes you nearer to me. I thought your presence would be subtle until about the time I originally expected you to come, but last week, you decided to go into full force mode and ruin my night! You kept me up for hours making me feel sick. I can't sleep sitting up, you know! And when I thought it couldn't be any worse, you made me throw up all over my blanket! So maybe if you could ease up a little bit I can be a happy camper and deal with you later.
Thanks...