Thursday, September 30, 2004
WELCOME TO MY LIFE-SIMPLE PLAN
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life
RODE;
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
this yr is realli a killer for me ...and the episode has nt end . the final exams r lyk in 6 daes more?gosh,hw can i clot everything in my mind in jus 6 daes!!help!!and i realli need help! ystd i jus slept throughout the aftrnoon ,i cldn't concentrate on my revision though i tried waking up . then when it was tym for dinner i jus broke dwn and cried...i cldn't hold myself,tis yr has been one of the scariest yr for mE! my dad tot i had a nitemare or sumthing but i told him i was afraid of facing the exams next week as i was nt prepared. if i knew earlier i wldn't have told him! he jus scolded me str8 awae! saying if i had known the importance i wld have started it frm day1!damn.
watch 1hr of tv then went on to mug,i cldn't get the notes into my brain. tried revising science ,writing and reading was one wae of learning for me but everything seems junk to me..i cldn't understand anithing..except lyk the solid,liquid and gas? solid are held in fixed positions and are tightly packed,liquid are oso held in fixed positions but are allowed to roam abt slightly sliding past each other and gas , it can move randomly and are spreaded everywhere.. guess this is one thing in science i can rem???argh!
decided to sms jamie yeo at pErfeCt10..din expect she wld read it lyk almost st8 after i msg her? so surprising!!! i even pointed out my class..but sadly asked my csmates and oni 3 or 4 ppl heard it ? sobx* aniwae,heard fangs they all r doing it! normally i tried to sms jamie yeo some other tym she din sae it on air but tis tym she said!!yay!!asked for 1985..playing halfwae,dad ask mi to try my mum bought the mooncake ,he said it was veri nice,i wanted to hear the whole song!!my dedication wad..hai..heard parts of the song. saying of the mooncake it was in a very unique shape lyk those century egg coverings? lyk hay lah..dunno hw to describe. tried it and it was yam!!! all my life i have nvr lyk yam!! jus hate yam !! arh!
todae's chi oral was more than difficult ,i cldn't read so many words!! and the conversation topic,i hardly had said anithing,i was so tense up esp the conversation,even mrs goh oso cld see the tense on me..i am jus gonna fail str8 for this.
RODE;
Saturday, September 25, 2004
todae woke up mum ask mi to accompany my maid to the market to by sum stuff..haha cycled there..if my bro finds out tis,he is jus gonna be more than jealous !! he was in sch so had the opportunity to use the bike secretly ..evil laughters*
on the wae ,my maid stood behind the sides of the bike as i cycled,soon i gt tired as i realise i was cycling up a slight slope in addition to her weight behind,in the end had no more energy..made her walk the rest..hehe. on and off she was up on it .
by the time when i came bac i was perspiring soo much,i jus bathe b4 i leave and nw i need to bathe after cuming bac..
abt 1 ,my mum had a interview by sum channelnewsasia person,she was producing a new health show which debuts i tink on oct12..the camera crews came to my house ltr..there was so many equipments to carry!and they needed to set up so many things..frm spotlights,huge cameras,to shifting our house furniture!
ltr aftr filming my mum on her talk on hw she battled through her cancer , headed on to filming our whole family eating healthy food at the dining table..gosh ,there was so much anxiety going through mi..cameras were lyk zooming into us..next was juicing,had to accompany my mum for tt,felt so extra. last but nt least for the dae(notice i said for the dae!!) ,was my mum and dad looking at the obstacles my mum had gone through on wad she has presented on a booklet.oh b4 tt they film my mum eating her supplements. there was so much things to take note of,we had to keept so quiet and when i wanted to take tissue,i actualli distracted one part! damn..
ok lastly,they followed us to kallang river as my mum had dragonboat trng,they wanted to film my mum having trng and us supporting her..the producer wanted us to wave at her but they weren't close enough and were on the other side..everything was cut short as they didn't want to end so late..so we were told to pretend waving at her but actualli we were waving to a buoy in the water! then my dad was told to pretend to point to where my mum is..it was all soo weird i find..oh ya b4 tt..they needed ask to get out of the car as a family at the kallang river..so my dad had to reverse and park agn then all get dwn ..nw i realise those actors get so much stress when acting ..
rem i said for a dae sumwhere at the top? yes! tis is gonna take daes!! tml they r filming my mum gng parkwae to shop for clothes !! then ltr on filming my mum,me and my bro selling bcf pins there! jus gonna be dead...so tiring.
btw when my mum was having trng,me,bro and dad went to visit nicoll highwae,so we walk all the wae to the construction area..we all climbed my the railings and went to peep ..hehe
RODE;
Friday, September 24, 2004
had paper1 for eng and chi todae..was realli scared for the chi paper cos i did nt have my dictionary wif mi! it was still wif chen lao shi since she last confiscated it as there was written words..in the end went to the teacher's shelf to look for one..took hou lao shi one..when it was turn for the checking,my heart was lyk pounding non-stop..i cldn't breathe. there was the sch property chop there..tt was y i was partly afraid of. luckily i pass..phew.
wads wif my stupid pimple? so irritating..at last it gt smaller nw...went for tuition in the evening,as usual james was wearing tt orangey shirt..alwaes wearing it every lesson! i guess?
during lesson we had blackboard spelling and i was lyk the oni n/a student there learning express chi? i was one of them to represent the gals grp ..damn,i was such a total failure! stupid boys..tok so much.
ltr went to look for my mum at the club ,she was playing tennis wif her colleagues. mi and bro was lyk taking the tennis balls to juggle . i finally cld juggle continously frm 2 to 3 balls at one tym!! yeah!
ate dinner wif my family and wif sum of her tennis frens..found out one of them was bilingual and was formerly a channel8 newscaster! everyone was asking him abt the behind the scenes part..and i found sum facts! did u noe they oni dress formerly at the top but they cld jus wear normal jeans or shorts below?!cool huh.. and did u noe when they normally end the news they wld noramlly dim the lights and mute the sound then the newscasters will jus tok to each other..it is partly their job! if they can't find aniting to tok abt they wld jus count 1,2,3,4,5 and so on!..
aniwaes...went home ltr on..bro was showing his anger as my parents didn't let him cycle to sch in the morning..it was too dangerous for him,he cldn't get it..
btw channelnewsasia is cuming to my house to interview my mum!! there will be cameras too!!watch out for the new show abt health on tt channel in the mth of oct!
RODE;
Thursday, September 23, 2004
so much stuff jus happen todae..erm,wads wif 30 panadols?alrite let it go..brought my cam for 3 consecutive daes? actualli gt influence by cheryl lah she everytym bring to sch take her frens..hehe. then mdm ho questioned mi y did i bring esp when it is nearing the exams?i jus replied her with ''i jus brought it for fun''..i jus cldn't find the ans! i din noe y actualli...is my brain cocked up??
stupid pimple on my mouth have been bothering mi so much tt i din have the courage to face ppl..it was realli obvious! and the pics taken all cld see it! damn!!and it was sooooo painful!
tml is the start of paper for both languages and i am lyk sitting here nt doing anithing to it?gosh!
after sch went to the bus stop saw xue er ,huimin and the rest..went there and xue er still wanted to take pics..haha .. they sat there waiting for their instant noodles..when it was readi rosanne drop it and the whole thing jus spreaded on the floor until a old woman...argh..they din apologise!! in the end went up to apologise on rossie behalf!
ltr tis cute small boy walk towards our table..next thing was,take photos wif tt baby!! xue er gave the idea 1st...hahahahha
went back after tt...on the bus the uncle suddenly stop then jus ran out towards the hawker centre..found out tt he was jus relieving himself !!! lol! the best thing was pam din realise lyk after 3 mins jubs said it? hehe
RODE;
Monday, September 20, 2004
damn,my brother attitude is getting more irritating than ever! he suddenly jus change overnight! he used to refuse to bring out his phone out and hardly touches his phone almost making those bills useless for my mum to pay ..but jus suddenly he jus change,and he is getting it too much,he msgs so much till my parents almost given up on him and the worse? he toks on the phone for the whole dae. in addition,he is a dEniEr!!
my family saw the change in him but cldn't do much..they can't jus leave him to continue tis!! its so unfair..there r jus so much changes in him!! his height???he is jus shooting up soon passing my height!!
btw,tried to imitate my brother to go up the curb on a bike but ended up hurting my big toe!! part of my toe nail came off..it was bleeding so much..all i cld sae is pain!!!!!!!!!!!! was screaming my lungs out when i washed it!
RODE;
Sunday, September 19, 2004
the last week of cca was the the MOI test...broken up into 2 grps,luckily was in the smaller grp(less tense). it was less pressurizing than the 1st part where i jus screwed up. was told to give marching..until zi posted mi a ques,i ans wrongly!! man,i am so doomed! aniwaes , my grp was told everyone passed but it doens't mean we gonna promote overall..sobx* i am jus praying realli hard.
after np went home then ltr left for tuition. went in then heard sumone called mi..felt strange cos i dun realli noe ppl there..then found out it was peiyi,hmm.. surprised tt she remembered mi. was asked to sit in the mixed grp(tis was a make up lesson) . during grp discussions everyone jus stoned there,none of us speaked up.the teacher asked us whether we were suffering frm stroke anot cos we literally did nth!! during lesson,saw tis guy's side look quite nice ..(realise i am nt trying to sae the word cute* here!hah)
after lesson,took a train down to kallang to meet my dad so we cld pick my mum up frm kallang river cos she had dragonboat trng. was at the city hall transfer waiting for the train,sat dwn . then smth caught my eye,saw tis man was in handcuffs surrounded by i guess was CID cos they were in plain clothes. tink the man was caught for pickpoket..
aniwaes in the train i missed the stop! had to take the opp train bac to kallang..went to look for my mum,they jus finish rowing. told dad i wanted to take up canoeing there, he said here is cleaner than sembawang(the place i go for sailing) but i had to sign up my own but i guess he is paying?hahah
dinner went to novena to eat jap food. was laughing all the wae wif my brother,then the waiter kept staring at mi, tink he thought tt i was sum sicko.
after dinner,went to the adidas(factory outlet) to see..it was soooo much cheaper there!! sumore,they were having a promotion there! we end up buying so much stuff there. bought water bottle,basketball tee,polo tee...etc. expected to add up to 80 plus or 100 plus but all jus cost 60 plus for jus a receipt. hw reasonable cld it be?!
todae went to suntec carrefour ..brother has been harassing my mum wks and wks to get him a stunt bike. nw he gt it,and he is jus rejoicing all the wae. there was one thing i lyk abt it tt was i cld stand at the back as he cycled. quite fun . my bro was doing his skis of the bike and i cldn't do it! he almost gave up on mi..haha buit lastly he tot mi another wae..he told mi to pretend there was a robber in front of mi and i mus give chase and stop the robber..i imagined it and i succeed!! hw imaginative cld he go??
RODE;
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
i jus din did wad i wanted during the promo test..expected to be cool and nt panic but once i was there ,i jus screwed up. shooting off all the wrong commands and y was there laughter?i was jus wondering ,this was a test and there goes my grp laughing.there was jus too much interruption . was told sizing was given but in the end,there wasn't..i practised so hard for it ..sigh*
there was one thing tt cldn't make mi stop laughing..though nw almost the whole sch noe's it..i was standing there looking st8 ahead then ferng jus walked in ..i cldn't stop it..cos she rebonded her hair. can't comment much abt it.
gd luck to my souls for tis wk moi* test..
todae had science practical exam. i stood there helplessly as i had nt much of an idea hw to start off!! i started off wif the bio experiment..i din noe tt was a banana in the 1st place..1st thought in my mind was,tt was an avacado tt was usually found in jap sushi!! until ltr i heard it was a banana!! i jus followed hw the others did..
followed on was chem experiment..i expected the limewater to turn chalky but it din..i was waiting and waiting.............and waiting.. no change at all..wrote colourless.
after the practical was pe..ms tini made the latecomers run 20 rounds ard the parade square!!including mi too!! and the rest? they were let off for early recess..so typically there was no pe for the whole class!! except the latecomers!! it was jus those daes tt i perspired so much..
ltr in the dae,was cme exam..it was difficult and i did nt finish b4 the time required..i am jus gonna fail it..
RODE;
Friday, September 10, 2004
so dead ..tml will be having promo test and i am yet to be prepared..its jus everything LAST MINUTE. i came to realise i am alwaes doing stuff at the eleventh hour!! will someone jus teach mi hw to plan my time?? nw i am jus trying to rem all those commands here and there..
gonna have blood clot anitym..haha
todae was jus another dae ..i guess there will be 113 daes left b4 the year 2005.time flies!wad made my parents treat todae as an important dae?? especially my mum..she wore a little formal for our dinner outside and my dad? he is alwaes wearing the same old clothes..its been years..almost every single dae,no matter where he goes,work,recreation,blah blah ..same clothes!! but my family is kinda use to wad he wears..he is jus one typical person who wears till it is worn out..and i mean it!! till there r holes ..!haha.we had dinner the same as last week tt was at lau pa sat the road there..they close the road at nite jus for food!! the satay and rojak is realli super!! nt forgetting the honey chicken wings!! naming those,sounds tasty yeah? but is BAD!!! haha,my mum was looking at those dishes in front of her and there she went agn''so oily,see those charcoal parts!!'' i cldn't stand it too,it was jus too overcooked but i jus went for it.
soooo,have u guess wad was the special occasion my parents felt it important??nt yet? haha its their......15th wedding anniversary!!! it was jus 1 dae b4 the 911.. saying of 911, jus wan to give a tribute to those who were sacrificed then..its been 3 years..it jus seems tt it happen ystd...
RODE;
Monday, September 06, 2004
i guess i can't blame world for letting mi to be the most unluckiest or worst in everything. there r alwaes an ending to every episode but i can't see tt ending to every unhappy moment in my life..its alwaes gng on non-stop..and y happy moments tt r meant to be played on r alwaes ending without us knowing??i jus can't seem to find the right answer.
went to sch for extra lessons..there was so much interruption towards the end of it. there mdm chong trying to get us done wif the chpt.. but next it was gng on to checking on wallets..sigh. dun realli wan to go on tis matter.
went st8 home aftr lessons..sigh,i can't get the fear off .. the thing needest for mi to do it alwaes end up undone . y do i behave so fearful inside where it is beyond boundaries for existence to realise??
RODE;
