So I'm not creative. I think I may have been at some point in my life, but not that I can remember in my fairly distant past. My life is planned, methodical, organized. I have weekly dinner plans that I rotate over six months. (With a few open days to try new recipes). I have my household cleaning chores scheduled in my Outlook--the weekly ones, the monthly ones, the quarterly ones, and even the yearly ones. I basically have the same routine on a weekly basis...consistency. They say kids like it that way, right? It tends to drive my husband a little nuts. Especially when it comes to my cooking. I've gotten better--but I used to follow the recipe exactly, measuring out each ingredient perfectly. Well...thanks to Ben, I've gotten daring. I actually don't measure anymore--I take a guess. I even add my own things or take certain things out. This winter (thanks to our cows Tank & BBKing) I created my own beef stew recipe all by myself--and its really good! This is called progress towards being creative.
Now spontanaity is something that is not lacking, thank goodness. I may not be creative, but I can be spontaneous. If something else comes up that sounds more inviting--then my Outlook list of tasks can be saved for another day. I think this lack of creativity is what got me so excited that I'd actually made homemade Valentine's cards with the boys. I still didn't come up with the dinosaur idea on my own, though--I found it--online, of course.
When I was in high school and for the first few years of college, one of my best friends and I (who I had been friends with since the 1st grade--but is unfortunately no longer in my life because of a jealous wife--a story for another day) would go on the very first hike of the spring. The snow would still be melting. The trail barely discernable under the melting snow. The streams near the trail would still be displaying some of the most beautiful ice sculptures created from the winter cold. The green buds and a few green strands of grass would be just starting to poke through the cold, wet ground. This was my FAVORITE time of year to hike. The remains of winter were beautiful and the signs of spring were uplifting. It was during that time that I decided, or more like hoped, I was going to be a writer for Outside Magazine. I was going to explore different places around the world and then write about them for other people--so they would then want to go and experience the same things. So, I started writing my own little articles about these hikes and places I would explore. I could never share, though. I thought they weren't good enough. I couldn't seem to put into the right words the things I saw and felt while there. The words seemed bland and insignificant. I think those "articles" are still stashed away in one of my filing boxes containing my past.
However, since blogging and reading other's blogs...I think there has been a small spark of a desire to find that creative bone again. I must have one. My mom is incredibly creative. She is always doing something creative--and had to have passed something on to me. The latest has been her watercolor paintings--which will be featured on this blog at some point. I've been thinking back to experiences of my past--especially our 3 years on the Navajo Reservation--desperately regretting that I didn't document it...with pictures and stories. Pictures of that unique place can speak a thousand words about our experiences. We talked about writing a book about our crazy experiences there that I thought I could never ever forget, but even now, as I think back my memory is hazy and unclear. All those stories that I thought would be etched in my memory forever seem to be gone--and I'm not sure I can resurrect them. I probably blocked them out for sanity's sake. It is unfortunate, but I think I am going to try to bring them back. My perspective may not be so negative as it would have been had I documented it while it was happening, so it could be a good thing to try and do it now. Kind of like those handcart pioneers from the ill-fated Willie and Martin Companies. I just finished the book "The Price We Paid" about those incredible people...and their memories, documented 30 years after the fact were presented with a much more eternal and grateful perspective than if they had documented their experiences while it was happening.
I'm also seeing things around me in a different light, as well. Looking for the right photo to capture...not just a picture...but a story. Part of all this comes from being a little bored lately with the same old thing. I don't feel like I've been challenging myself, improving myself, or developing any sort of new talents. I need something to get excited about...I don't know if this is it, but at least its something out of my normal routine of day-to-day mundane tasks. So...this long epiphany that I've decided to share with my friends and family is hopefully an indication of better things to come...maybe some good, fun stories...better pictures...and a more creative, improved me...