*cough cough*

My gosh, this blog has been non-existent for more than a year.

*blows off the dust*

SIGH...

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I foresee whatever little self-respect / confidence I have right now being beaten down to a pulp by the end of my 4th month, let alone 4 years. It is going to be such a long time indeed. I wonder if I'll even recognise myself by the time I get out. Am I that incompetent or am I just stuck in a place I'm highly unsuited for? New York seems so far away. As much as I had to deal with difficult problems while I was there, at least I managed to find a bit of myself, found things that truly interested me, and came alive somewhat. Here, I'm merely a ghost, a weak shadow of what I want to become. I have to remember that my fate lies in my own hands, and that I'm not a helpless victim of circumstance. Be strong jan and fight your way through! One woman's (or even the entire company's) judgmement doth not maketh a man! You can be who you believe youself to be. And if all else fails, just turn to alcohol.

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ndp.preview.07

(the following post contains hints of spoilers)


The waterbody made all the difference at NDP Preview 07 at Marina Bay... thanks ch, thanks niki, thanks dp! They sure did pull out all the stops on this one- everything imaginable was done, chu pattern zui zui!

Nearly didn't make it there, thanks to a dead phone and a $50 note with no small change, but the effort was well worth it indeed- I feel such national pride now! Was even faked by ch into donning national colours for the event, and then traipsing all over sg and playing wii in that outfit later! Wahahahaha. Well done, well done.

Mr Malaysian representative was a truer bluer S'porean than many others too, in that he could sing most of the national propaganda songs from heart without batting an eyelid! National anthem and pledge included, of course. Watching him enthusiastically waving the flag and even more enthusiastically joining in the Marina Bay wave was entertaining indeed, even more so that the lame emcees. They say home is where the heart is, now I believe it. :p

Oh, and I thought the simulation for the walking of the MPs was hilarious! Pretend pretend apa sial...

Too bad we didn't get to keep the goodie bag, but we sure did dig into some cracker snacks that were NOT included in the goodie bags. Both of ours, in fact.

S.P.I.R.I.T.

First week of work is over! (And so is the weekend after, bleah...)
It's been really overwhelming and I've been blasted with major information overload since Day One, so the week has passed by relatively quickly albeit not-so-painless. Yes yes, I have gone over to the Dark Side, I'm now officially a traitor, a spy, blahblahblah. This poorly paid civil servant shall nevertheless endeavour to do her best in the tasks she has been assigned to... (toilet-washing anyone?)

So far, there's no one in the office whom I can really click with, so it gets a little lonesome at times. Being the newest newbie around also makes me the lowest of the low, so I just hang my head down and try not to get in anyone's way. But I also realise that I usually become withdrawn and shy when faced with new social situations, so I guess only time will surface the noisy and irritating pest-like qualities that I have been exhibiting to you who have known me for some time. Wahahahaha. It's only a PHASE! I do like the mentor I have been assigned to though! Z is a very very senior architect, having served for 15 years to date, he is also very very knowledgeable on things pertaining to work (henceforth known as The Work in The Office, lest I get embroiled in legal issues... sigh why do big pple things have to be so complicated? I dun wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R Us kid...) He's also very patient and takes time to discuss certain issues that I'm not familiar with, and is willing to teach and guide whenever I have a problem. Not just me, but it seems like everyone in The Office goes to him for advice too, and whenever I mention that he's my mentor, everyone says that I'm in extremely good hands. Seems like I got myself a fantastic deal eh? :)

Tomorrow I meet with the Director of HR for a 'chit-chat' session, and I've been clued by various pple on what the session's topics are going to touch on. As I was telling you guys yest during our weekly Sat night drinks routine, there's this thing called SPIRIT which encompasses values that we should embody, and NO, it doesn't stand for Slow or Inefficient or Toot! I have to memorize this by today, so here it goes: Service, Passion, Integrity, Respect, Innovation, Teamwork. (Ok I admit I had to peek at the book once while typing this out... the R always gets me!) Don't laugh, this is serious business. :p

Ahead and onward to another week then! One down, a million more to go.

Oh yes! Ah gu, we intend to head down to JayBee for seafood dinner one weekend when you are back, so come back soon ok! Hee. Butter Lobster and Mai Pian Xia! Yummers.

bang.kok

Was talking to anthony last night, and he mentioned a "joke" his friends used to play on him when young.

It goes like this:

Friend: What is the capital of England?

Ant: London.

Friend: What is the capital of France?

Ant: Paris.

Friend: What is the capital of Thailand?

Ant: ???

Friend kicks Anthony hard in the balls and shouts "BANG KOK!"


ouch.


And yes, that concludes my trip to the Land of Smiles, where it was hot, humid and terribly sticky. (With sweat of course! tsk! What were you thinking!!!)

During the three and a half days there, I ate damn a lot, did pedi+mani, full body massage at a fancy spa, windowshopped at Siam Paragon, shopped at Mah Boon Krong, stayed at the Westin for two nights (thanks to shyn!), had room service breakfast, had freaking good Jap food at BKK's best Jap Restaurant also at the Westin, visited Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace, met CC and R for drinks at Vertigo (the open-air sky bar at the top of Banyan Tree Hotel), bore the heat at Chatuchak, had high tea at The Author's Lounge at Oriental Hotel, yummy dinner at the famous Harmonique Restaurant, Go Go Boys oogling near Patpong area... Super good bods and huge (ahems) but no action! *yawn*

CC has more pics! But these are the ones I took before my camera batt died. Which has no CC in them at all hahahaha.





























My first day as a poorly paid civil servant today. 1 day down, a million more days to go. boo.

rain.rain.go.away

it's raining again. it was pouring cats and dogs yesterday, and today it's not as heavy but it's still raining. the sun is gone and it's been replaced by grey and dreary overlooming clouds. and after the rain, the air will stink with an overdose of humidity which will take it's toll on my hair!!!! acks.

i have 5 options of activities today.

should i
i) go pick tennis balls in the rain at yck
ii) go vivocity to snap a pic of vivocity in an attempt to win a new digicam
iii) go to some ulu place at alexandra rd to get discounted 300 thread count bedlinen
iv) stay home and watch my terribly nonsense hk drama serial
v) chill out at dp while ch works

what kind of options are these!!!
grrr.

final.final.goodbyes

so i guess it's time i should put this up. it's been slightly over 2 weeks since i first got back to sg, and even longer since i left new york. feels like forever already though, new york seems far far away even though i don't want it to be. i want to remember everything about the experience, both the good and the bad, but already i feel my memory failing me. take a deep breath jan! it will be ok! these photos were taken at my empty-ish blue/maroon room at 221 Washington Ave just before i left for the airport... ah, the cursed apartment! kristen the great white is bawling as you can tell, lourd is just hamming it up for the cam as always, and ming is happy to be rid of me for a month so that she can really enjoy new york without me! they're coming to visit in 2 yrs, so remember their faces peeps!



since i've been back, met up with niki and ch, kerms, yvette, cc, 7 of my nanyang kakis, chows, section, eileen ong (for all of 5 secs), mink tan (by chance!), niki, ch, niki, niki (oh did i mention niki already?!?) hahaha. been in touch with some of my jc friends and hall friends but too lazy to schedule meetups becos it takes too much effort and the weather is too damn hot! i still have souvenirs though... can pple just come and collect it from me instead of me having to run to 10 different places just to meet 10 different pple at 10 different workplaces? and no more cityhall!!! new places puhleezeeee. tiring sial. i need to snap out of my super nuah mood. but oh well, last chance to really nuah without guilt before selling my soul to the dark side. heh heh. my only gripe is that there is really nothing to do in sg! shopping, eating, watching movies, karaoke-ing, drinking. sums up my life in sg (actually in new york too... mebbe interspersed with a bit of broadway/museums/central park visits here and there) so what's the difference! i can only blame it on the weather.... we seriously need to find fun stuff to do! or mebbe just have fun doing nothing? hahaha.

finally went for the ura posting interview today- super scary berry to have 7 pairs of eyes staring at you from across a massive long table and scrutinizing your every move. chief planner, deputy CEO, deputy head UD, head Conservation, head UP, head Recruitment, HR officer, why so many titles! cannot remember all lah, i'm getting senile. it's such a relief to have it done with though, after weeks of worrying about portfolio and running to and fro from the printer's and filling in work commencement forms and talking to people and thinking about what to wear in order to look presentable but not too dressy and going for haircuts and getting suckered into paying a lot more than i was intending to... IT"S OVER! starting work on 25th of this month, immediately after the bkk trip, which was decided upon on impulse after finding out that cc is going bkk this weekend too! see you at the full body massage place cc! wahahahahaha. i'm like going to be majorly broke b4 i start work... oh, right. that's WHY i need to work.

latest obsessions: GUCCI bag! someone find me a sugar daddy now!

as for now, i'm still trying hard not to fall back into the habit of wearing flipflops and tees and shorts everywhere i go. Lourd would be seriously disappointed in me hahahah. i want to be fabulous!

ps. what constitutes fabulous-ness to you?