I'd Rather Hear the Truth...

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you say
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken, do you mean
Do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

Bridge
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

I was believing in you...

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

Baby Don't You Break My Heart Slow
by Vonda Shepard

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It's a Rap!

I found this on Youtube a couple of weeks ago. The video itself is supposed to be a summary of the HIV & AIDS situation in the Philippines as of July 2008. But what really caught my attention was the song that served as background music to it.

A rap song about HIV & AIDS is interesting enough. But a Pinoy original rap song about HIV & AIDS? Very interesting.

Composed and performed by Alexis & Jerry of a group called QC Peer Educators, the song is part of the video which is a project of the Philippine Rural Reconstruction Movement - HIV & AIDS Prevention Project, and sponsored by UNICEF.

I took the liberty to transcribe the lyrics of the song as best I can, so we can all digest the message further. Check it out.



HIV & AIDS Theme Rap Song
Composed and performed by Alexis & Jerry

REFRAIN:
May sasabihin ako
Kailangang pakatandaan
Tungo sa tamang daan
At para sa pangkalahatan

May mga sakit na lumalaganap
Kaya't ingatan ang sarili
Ito ay ang HIV, AIDS
STI o STD

Repeat REFRAIN

Talagang lubos na nakakapinsala
Ang sakit ng kapabayaan
Na walang pinipili na estado
Mahirap man o maging mayaman

Kaya't iyong matatamo
Kapag sa kamundohan ay hinayaan
Na maagaw ang iyong kalooban
Na ang punto'y kamatayan

Kaya aking maipapayo
Di lamang sa mga kabataan
Ay umasta ng wasto
Upang di nyo pagsisisihan

Ang magagawang kamalian
Upang di na pamamarisan
Ang tinuturing na kamalasan
Ng mga kabataang nababahiran

Hindi dahilan ang kahirapan
Kung iwawasto ang pangangatawan
Alam ko na alam mo rin
Ang tunay nitong kahalagahan

Kaya laging pakatandaan
Upang sa isipan manumbalik
Kalinisan ang itatak
Huwag agad makipagtalik

Hinalina ang iyong sarili
Sa wastong tinanda
Sa'ming awit ng kaligtasan
Na aming tinakda

Buksan ang isipan at puso
At ang iyong kamalayan
Na tuluyan nang mawakasan
Ang ganitong kalagayan

Repeat REFRAIN 2x

VERSE SET 1
Mga sakit na nakakamatay
At lubos na nakakahawa
Sa tinagal ng iyong lagay
Kundisyon ay nakakaawa

Mapaminsala
Sa maselang parte ng bahagi ng ating katawan
Kailangan buksan ang ating isip
At dagdagan ang kaalaman

Wag kang maging padalosdalos
Para sa ikakabuti
Lagi mo lang tatandaan
Nasa huli ang pagsisisi

Siguro naman ay alam mo na
Kung pano mo 'to maiiwasan
Isa lamang itong mensahe
Para din sa ating kaligtasan

At huwag hayaan sa ating lipunan
Ay tuluyang lumala
Gawin natin ang makakaya
Para ito'y mawala

At huwag ipagsawalang bahala
Ang ganitong sitwasyon
Marami nang sakit na ganito
Kaya malaki na ang populasyon

Kasi pag umatake na ang libog
Kahit may AIDS hindi na bale
Ito ang mga pananaw
Na dapat alisin sa'ting sarili

Kaya't ang iba'y nagkakasakit
Nahihiyang magpakonsulta
Dahil sa kanyang maling pananaw
Yun ang naging resulta

Repeat REFRAIN 2x

VERSE SET 2
Iwasan na ang ganitong kalagayan
Ito'y sakit ng ating bayan
Na dapat nating puksain
Upang hindi na pamahayan

Ang ating lipunan na
Sagad sagad sa kahirapan
Kaya tuloy hindi nabago
Ang ganitong kaganapan

Sa isipan ng mga
Walang malay na kabataan
Na maagang namulat
At maaga na nabahiran

Ng ganitong mga sakit
Pagiwas ang aming komento
Aminado din kami
Na kami ay di perpekto

Kailangan lamang pakatandaan
Iwasan ang ganitong sakit
Kung ayaw mong maranasan
Ang kapalaran ng pagkapait

Bakit dapat iwasan
Ayon sa pananaliksik
Ay sa kadahilanan ng maling
Wastong pakikipagtalik

Ito'y kalbaryo sa kalusugan
At isa sa mga delubyo
Mahirap na malunasan
Pag napasukan na ng mikrobyo

Sa listahan ng mga may sakit
Ilang milyon na ang nakatala
Kaya kaibigan magingat ka
At yan ang aking babala

Repeat REFRAIN 2x

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What's Going On?

I grew up primarily as part of the MTV generation. I remember watching the music video of "What's Going On" back then on MTV, and recall thinking how cool it was. Catchy and stellar. So many artists coming together for one cause, reminding me of the We Are The World era prior. I never really knew back then that "What's Going On" was recorded to benefit AIDS programs... nor did I ever fathom that it would hit so close to home.

It was apparently written by Renaldo "Obie" Benson, Al Cleveland, and Marvin Gaye and became the title track of Gaye's groundbreaking 1971 Motown album What's Going On. Designed with a somber jazz-inspired tone, "What's Going On" was initially conceptualized to address the political and social troubles of the world and black-on-black crime in a soulful, introspective way.

The song has also been covered by other artists, notably Cyndi Lauper, whose version reached #12 on the pop singles charts in 1987. It was the third single released by Cyndi Lauper from her second album True Colors.

In October 2001, a group of popular recording artists under the name "Artists Against AIDS Worldwide" released an album containing multiple versions of the song to benefit AIDS programs in Africa and other impoverished regions. The album contained that single along with 8 additional remixes. Recorded just before the September 11, 2001 attacks, it was decided that a portion of the song's proceeds would benefit a September 11 fund, as well as the Artists Against AIDS Worldwide.

Back then, the more recognizable faces for me were Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys, and Gwen Stefani. But they were just the tip of the stellar iceberg. Other artists who shared the advocacy were Bono, Destiny’s Child, Alicia Keys, N Sync, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Lopez, Eve, Nelly, Darren Hayes of Savage Garden, Monica, Nelly Furtado, Nona Gaye, Ja Rule, Lil Kim, P. Diddy, Tboz and Chili of TLC, Usher, and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, among others, altogether sending messages that included Stop Global AIDS, Treat the People and Drop the Debt. Check it out. Be amazed.



What's Going On?

P Diddy:
What's Going On

Jermaine Dupri:
Tell Me

P Diddy:
People dying, people crying, Lord help us

Bono:
Mother, mother, there's too many of you crying

Gwen Stefani:
Oh, brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying

Jermaine Dupri:
That's Right

Aaron Lewis:
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

Nona Gaye:
Oh my father, father, we don't need to escalate

Backstreet Boys:
You see war is not the answer

Nona Gaye/BSB:
For only love can conquer hate

Christina Aguilera:
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

Britney Spears:
Barricades, can't block our way

Jennifer Lopez:
Don't punish me with brutality

Destiny's Child:
Talk to me, so you can see

Destiny's/Britney:
Oh what's going on, what's going on
Yeah what's going on, ahh what's going on

Ja Rule:
What's going on in a world filled with pain
Where's the love for which we pray
What's going on when our children can't play
Homeless can't eat there's got to be a better way
What's going on when we’re politically blind
Can't see the signs of endangered times
What's going on

Nelly Furtado:
Ah tell me
What's going on in the world today
I'd rather be dead than turn my head away
We gotta first world vision to complete
To lift our hands in the air and cry for a switch

Michael Stipe:
Father, father

P Diddy:
Father help us, come on

Michael Stipe:
Everybody thinks we're wrong

Alicia Keys:
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Together we can all be strong

P Diddy:
United we stand, divided we fall

N'Sync:
Oh you know we've got to find a way

Mary J. Blige:
To bring some understanding here today

N'Sync:
Barricades can't block our way

Darren Hayes:
Don't punish me with brutality

N'Sync:
Baby talk to me, so you can see
Yeah, what's going on, hey, what's going on
Somebody tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's goin' on-uh

Nelly:
What's going on 'cross seas, every minute a child dies by this disease
In record numbers indeed, got momma's crying out please
My baby hold on, my child ain't done nothing wrong
Still I want to holler, ask them why they don't bother
Oh no, oh no, make me turn to my father
And ask him why they all got a trapped soul

Nas:
I can feel what was bothering Marvin, why his words forever remain
Dealing with these modern day problems
'Cause of ignorance surrounding me and my constituents
Too many infected too many lives diminishing
Nobody say Protestants, Jews, Blacks, and Whites, Latinos and Asians
Pray together, less fight, we better unite
As genocide chemical war and the rich and the poor
Know that God delivers a cure

Eve:
It's a shame our reality is devastating, people praying for a cure
Dying while they're waiting, ask the Lord for the comfort
And strength to face it
All the kids with dreams won't get the chance to chase it
Makes me sad, think about the lives they would've had
Think about the orphan babies got no moms and dads
How can we sit back and not try to make it right
We gotta come together, we gotta fight for life

Fred Durst:
Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)
We got human beings using humans for a bomb
But everyone wanna live, don't nobody really want to die
You feeling me right, I can't be watching people die (die)
And watching people cry, let me break it down for a minute
If there's enough room here for you and me
There's plenty of room for some humanity

All:
Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)

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Ordinary Miracle

It was the evening of Good Friday that I received a text message from a blogger friend, asking how my Holy Week was going. But after a few exchanges, it was agreed, I’d tag along with him and some friends to Tagaytay the following day, Black Saturday.

This might have just been the first time I went out of town during Holy Week.

My blogger friend and I met up at our usual meeting place the next morning, within a few minutes of each other. He had a quick cup of coffee, asking me an nth time between sips if I was comfortable having two other guys with us for the trip. His concern, I’m guessing, was that we were all to have blogging in common, but with my particular blog having the least... uhm, favorable... or conventional topic of the bunch. Was I to feel awkward about that? Maybe, but hey, I’m awkward by nature. So not a problem.

After a short drive to their agreed meeting place, we walked around the corner, and there were the two guys. Oh, boy. One step at a time. Socialize, socialize, socialize. One deep breath. Okay here goes nothing. Introductions all around, initially by blog titles, and eventually by names, and the trip was on.

The drive down south wasn’t bad, and we agreed to have brunch as Josephine’s. I was just my usual quiet self the whole time, but I felt that was weighing them down. They probably thought my silence was just some depressed state expected from someone who was HIV-positive. Awkwardness! Several hours and several plates each later, we’d beaten the buffet table. We took a sleepy drive to Caleruega in Nasugbu, a house of prayer and renewal, very befitting of Holy Week. Argh.

We settled down at the lower garden of the compound to allow some of the food to go down, where we, in turn, lowered our guards. Contrary to expected, we seemed anything but prayerful – doing everything from school bashing to spacing out, watching everything from chickens to boys, and talking about everything from twitter to sex. Yes, everything. Including HIV.

My two new friends broke the ice finally, and started off with the usual questions... where I got it, when I found out, why I got tested, how I reacted and so on... questions I had no problems answering. Eventually, one of them said that I seemed to be calm about my whole situation, which I really was. I appreciated them noticing that. Although I may have scared them into looking at the risks they took in their own sex lives, I think the best part of my lecture, was them seeing the value of getting tested. Score!

And with that out of the way, I was now, like them, just any other blogger, and we went back to what was important... watching the hot boys, hehehe. I’m half-kidding of course. We trekked up to the church and spent some silent moments inside, and left seeming recharged for the rest of the posing, picture-taking, chattering, laughing and boywatching.

Our energy seemed to increase exponentially during the ride home, as we attempted a Tougher-Ten-slash-Miss-Universe-slash-I-Love-Chowking-slash-I-believe-in-the-saying portion, which kept us rolling with laughter almost the whole way back. That was a great day.

Looking back as Holy Week came to a close, I was so far from being holy the whole week. I was just lazing around. I was having fun. I never heard mass the whole week. Even during my short stay inside the church at Caleruega, I didn’t know what to pray for. Should I have prayed to be cured by some sort of miracle? But I didn’t feel that I needed that. I was bothered a bit about not wanting it, to be honest.

Until, while still lazing around on Easter morning, I caught the tail end of Charlotte’s Web on cable TV... a beautiful and touching ending it was... and then it hit me. Although it’d be nice to be Wilbur the pig, I’d much rather be Charlotte the spider for someone... for everyone. Believe me, I cried. And even looking past the pig and the spider of it all, it made sense. We always complain about not seeing any miraculous things, but maybe we do... we just don’t know where to look.

The theme song Ordinary Miracle by Sarah Mclachlan was perfect.
It seems so exceptional
That things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

I realized that rest, peace, friendship, laughter, contentment, and life itself... all in spite of HIV... it’s just another ordinary miracle today... everyday. Find your ordinary miracle today.

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You Changed My Life

I never really got used to watching movies at cinemas.

First of all, with the tickets and the food and beverages, it can get quite expensive. Nope, I don’t buy pirated either. Second, it just seems like such a waste of time to spend over two hours just watching the movie, when I could eventually catch in on the boob tube and do something else like cut my toenails at the same time. Third, I just can’t decide on the best time to watch. There are times with huge crowds, which makes me claustrophobic. On the other hand, there are off peak showings, where sex-starved excuses for human beings prowl in the shadows of the theater.

But lo and behold, I swore to myself that I’d watch You Changed My Life at the movie theater sometime soon. I know I’ve expressed my Kapamilya tendencies before, but not being overly fanatic about John Lloyd Cruz and Sarah Geronimo, what really caught my attention was the theme song of the movie.

I’ve always loved the song, ever since The Company did their rendition more than a decade ago. But lately, its spell over me has been revived, and I’ve been humming and singing it for the past few weeks.

Why this song? I can relate to it, right here, right now. Lines like...

The nights the sky was filled with clouds
My worried mind was filled with fear...

I never thought that I could change
Could change so much in so many ways...

I'm still surprised when I look in my mirror
To see that I still look the same...

and

You changed my life in a moment
And I'll never be the same again...

just make me reflect upon where I am in life, and gasp in amazement at how perfectly this song fits me and my life. I can’t wait to see the movie.

Hey, wait a minute. Before you go kilig-kilig on me, let me just explain, why exactly I can relate.

You Changed My Life... HIV. In a good way, of course. Hehehe.

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The Last Song

Sent to me by an online poz friend, this song is a favorite of this sweet little Pinoy cookie of a guy, who requested I share it to remind everyone of the struggle of people living with HIV and AIDS.

I’m not exactly a fan of Elton John, nor did the song strike a sensitive nerve in me, mostly because I lost my dad before my plight with HIV even began, assuming we were even close, that is. But if only for the fact that Elton John always used his music to speak deep meanings in the AIDS community, let’s all hear it out. I do hope you like it.


According to Wikipedia, The Last Song is the second single by Sir Elton John from his album, The One. It is also said that the song may be a tribute to his father who died in 1992. There are also rumors of it being written in the memory of Ryan White, a young AIDS patient who died at age 18, with whom John was close. The song was apparently used during the closing montage, featuring people who died of AIDS including White himself, of the 1993 film And The Band Played On.

THE LAST SONG

Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard

Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won't you help me if you can to shake this anger
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm

`Cause I never thought I'd lose
I only thought I'd win
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin
I can't believe you love me
I never thought you'd come
I guess I misjudged love
Between a father and his son

Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free

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