Hey excuse me

Hi my name is Bob and I work at my job

I make forty-some dollars a day

I used to be the man in my hometown

'til I started to lose my way

It all goes back to when I dropped out at school

Having fun, I was living the life

But now I got a problem with that little white rock

See I can put down the pipe

And...

And it's breaking me down

Watching the world spin round

While my dreams fall down

Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down

No more friend around...

And my dreams fall down...

Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there hear me?

'Cause I can't seem to hear myself

Can anybody out there see me?

'Cause I can't seem to see myself...

There's gotta be a heaven somewhere

Can you save me from this hell?

Can anybody out there feel me?

'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my way

Keep losing my way...

Keep losing my way...

Can you help me find my way?

Losing my way

Keep losing my way

Keep losing my way...

Can you help me find my way?

Oh my god please forgive me (father hear my pray)

'Cause I know I've done some wrong in this life

If I could do it all again

Have just one more chance

To take all those wrongs and make them right

Courtesy of Justin Timberlake - Losing My Way

Boo Ya! Nice song.. Love Justin Timberlake's music.. All of 'em!.. Must get FutureSex/LoveSounds liou... Wakakaka...

O M Gosh, the hols have been so................. o.O-ness.... ughh.... Can't describe it at all man.. sigh.. Anyway, did alot-alot of cycling and not to mention walking too.. Hehehe.. Been loving the moody weather.. Damn.. Hehehe.. Sigh, don't wanna type la.. Be good ya people ;) Love ya'll and appreciating each and everyone of you.. Sorry

-watashiwa "jOhN LiM" san-

Read between the lines,
Now, you are wise to allign your eyes here,
You might understand just fine,
Or is it because of one's fate?
As the course of time shapes cultures and societies,
But allow me to share the secrets of my heart,
So may it shape the path of man and formalities,
Like how a father may care for a son,
May traditions and rules be broken,
Like how a mother may die for the family,
May ideas and mindsets be challenged,
That is how I care for you,
Let the matters of the heart be revealed,
I do not want to retrograde things further,
Let Lovers be plagued by troubles and worries,
I am never good at sophism,
So that Love may be shown through concern and merry,
So let me bring forth my point,
So that Love should not be bought by patronage and scurry,
I am clueless to what has been happening,
Thus let Love run free, Belittling space and matter,
So open my eyes, let me see, free me from these shackles,
Let not this paradox be dismayed or despised,
Baby, if I could, I would be your slave,
Because beneath it, lay true meaning and feeling
Forgive me, because of you, I would go down the grave..
OH This is Fun.. lolz.. Copyright ok!
-John Lim-

You may be surprise what people do out of boredom.. Take care comrades ;)
Fight the Good fight and Win it.. You never really lose until you give up..

Emmanuel,
-jOhN LiM-

Of God's Timing

You have no idea how God has been surprising me.

As you guys have been reading or just talking to me, you know I have been through some tough times, just discovering myself, worrying and so on. But point is, God has been perfect in His timing.

I have been really depending so much on my own strength so many times. I have relied on my own strength in the exams, friendships, work, on handling cell, my future, studies, plans and everything. I "calculate" so much on my next move that I get soooooo cooked up over everything that happens and because of that I worry so so so much. I worry about college, I worry about results... And worrying is a HUGE sign that I ain't putting my trust and faith in God.

Benjo always scold me and shout at me to stop calculating what will happn next, and its true. Had a good talk with my Youth Pastor this morning about where I am right now. She had call me up earlier during the week that she had just wanted to talk to see how I am doing. I was really confused then but now it is all coming clear. There were some things in my life I had to get rid of immediately and God was speaking so clearly, but I was blinded by my pride.
Two things that have been highlighted the past weeks:
1. My Pride
2. My lack of Trust in God

There are so many incidents I can mention that God was trying to humble me, but i never got the hint. So he brought forth a huge hammer to nail me down. As some of you might know, I recently applied for a scholarship with HELP Uni for my Pre-U. I got shortlisted for the interviews but however at the interview I was turned down. It was an extremely painful humbling process. Well, some of you might think its really nothing, but I was really counting on it. Firstly, of course I want to help my parents but lightening the burden. Secondly, SO many of us from my school went for it and I THOUGHT that if I didn't get it it would be extremely humiliating. Yes, some of you might think it is dumb now, but yeah, pride, you see? The other lesson I've learned from this experience is to totally rely on God. See, I depend so much on my own strength that I didn't surrender it to God. And if I had made it through the interview, I would have thought I made it on my own. And that is not what God intends. He has plans for my future, as well as yours, but the only things He wants is my trust and whole reliance on Him.

See, even by that small lesson I've learned so much. Its waking up time. Its only the first lesson to be learnt and if I don't, it is bound to repeat itself in a bigger way. All these time, I was thinking that I was walking alone, but I always had God by my side, my family, and my friends, Benjo, En En, Vinz, Xiangz, Jo Jo, Vickz, and soooo many more that have been there by my side.

God just has His way in speaking to you through people, angels. Benjoz was just self professing that he was an Angelic Benjo :P Aren't you glad sometimes that you can be there for people when they are in need?

I was just so tired of feeling so down and sick these past few nights and went to my Dad's Personal Library and grabbed any book that looked appealing. My hands went straight for the book that said "Be a People Person" - John C. Maxwell. I've always like being a people person. But I had just been telling my friends, I have recently develop a characteristc that is not too good. I've grown to be a people pleaser. It may sound as if it is a good thing, but in actual fact, it isn't. At one point, I craved to pleasseee people so much that I neglect my own needs. I want to be "in" and "hip" that I change to be.... Weird?... But it didn't work out man. So I decided to be become a People Person instead. Let me not write the whole book now, but it really did encourage me. Let me just highlight that highlights that spoke to me.

"The golden rule is putting yourself in someone else's place instead of putting them in their place" - Relate to them

"Treat others like how you want to be treated"

"Determine not to be a reactor but an initiator... You need not react to circumstances but turn it around"

"Appreciate, Forgive and Listen to others.." Something I am still learning..

"Charisma = Concern, Help, Action, Results, Influence, Sensitivity, Motivation, Affirmation"

"You can't always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you"

Lessons well learned......... I'm learning, so teach me, please....

Good night,
-jOhN "learning" LiM-

Dear Readers,

Wassuup Hommiess... How ya Uncle n Aunties doin~? A lil shoutout for those sitting for the SPM in a month's time, ALL THE BEST PEEPS!!.. KEEP IT COMING, PUSH IT TO THE LIMITS, CHALLENGE YOURSELF, and BEAT THOSE SUCKAs! Wooops.. HAHAHHA.. Anyway, well, life is as it is.

I guess you guys are smart enough to know that I ain't doing too well coping with everything around me lately. Pressures, studies, time, friendship, and everything... But I guess its time i step up to it, accept whatever the circumstances and MOVE ON! Really... I had a good conversation with my sis in Perth one night. Shoutout: I LOVE YOU!

She was totally at my position at her age, ok well maybe later. But point is, she totally understood me. You know, humans are just weird. We just want to be accepted, understood, supported, loved, cared for, given attention and praised. I'm not ashamed to admit, yes, I do at a certain extend want to be accepted as well. Its just so natural. Everyone needs it, acceptance and just not to be ridiculed. Even Mr. Amara needs some sort of encouragement man. C'mon. Thats why I'm planning to get really nice small cute stuff for ALL my teachers from Form 1 to Form 5 from Japan to give them when I get back in January. They deserve it. I was just telling Isaac, even the lousiest of teachers need some kind of encouragement. It would have been unfortunate that I have not benefitted from some of these sucky teachers but who knows, maybe because of these small gift of appreciation, their future students might just benefit from it. ANYWAY, point is, we as humans, want to love and vice versa. Quote from the Moulin Rouge which by the way is an excellent show "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return"... Oh boy, I can go on about how I feel about that statement...

But Point is, if you haven't realised, John has certainly change and I do acknowledge that some of you have even came up to me and told me so. I do realise the change in me as well. Time has really taken a toll on me and I have been really, different, in the way I view things, express myself, feel about myself, and how I just behave. But see, the point I'm writting all these down is to record my progress. Don't forget, the point of this blog was to just simply jot down the little baby steps that I have been taking. It is really different. I was just browsing my previous post one night I realised how Iv've changed, first physically from the pictures, mentally, from my view and thoughts, and even my writting. But yes, to just simply record down my development. I want to help others. I want to be honest here so that any of you that browse through the post and feel the way I am will be encouraged that, you are not alone.

I face challenges too. Temptations. Compromise. Hurts. Rejection. Defamation. Failure. Loneliness. And boy oh boy I had a tough time getting out of all these pot holes. But I guess life is all about these lessons. Getting up and standing tall once again to really just pull yourself out from the failure. We can NEVER run away from problems, so why still run. Face it, and hit it hard. Hit it hard that it will never come back again. I'm still learning. It will never be easy. But like the old saying goes, what don't kill you will only make you stronger. I guess God has a purpose for me to feel these way. The only thing I can tell myself now is that if I can't handle these things now, I'll crumble in the waves of the world.

My God-Bro mentioned the other day that if it was not because of all his challenges that he faced when things were tough, he wouldn't be standing strong and even encouraging me today. He understood me when I said that God is just silent. He felt the same way at a point. He felt as though God had just abandon him. I've thought of things like these before, that God is deaf, He doesn't care, and so on. My sis even felt that way. But now when I look a little back into time, I realised that I just ain't relying on God. I just ain't doing the right thing. We say it too often that I'm gonna Trust God, I'm gonna rely on Him, but we ain't Trusting him fully with all we got, nope, we ain't trusting God with all our heart. And until I do that, I will never truly understand His riches.

I really don't know where this whole post came from but it sure is fresh air from the previous emo posts. Don't you just get sick sometimes sinking in the shit you're in? I got sick of it, just dwelling on the dark side. Starting over, Getting up, Moving on............ John now molded by the phase of time..........

Not denying that there are still things that are not resolved, but everything is going on hold now, my emotions, my thoughts...... because SPM IS IN A MONTHS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha.. well... But the greatest thing about all these is always having a Best Friend by your side. Someone to always be by your side. Someone that will "swt" at your dumb messages. Someone to sneak out with you late night. Someone to have makan with when you're all alone and hungry. When you're feeling all emo. These past few weeks when I was really really emo like probably every night, Ben sticked with me. Haha, and boy I was blind not to realise. Its weird that people really don't know how to appreciate things only when they are shaken. He has always been there. Always. And how stupid was I to still complain and whine when all attention was given to me. Every single attention was given to me but I was so blinded with my selfishness that I fail to see how much the people around me actually truly cared for me. You know, sometimes, when we are so blinded in our selfishness, we really dunno how to appreciate how much people care for us. How much our loved ones really love us and care for us. We get so uptide and cooked up with only OURSELVES that we really ignore others. How much love and concern they've shown. Boy oh boy, just how different are we people. Just by expressing ourselves. Expressing love, care and concern. So many different ways.

Oh how comlpex we are as human beings. Just the way we think, the way we speak and express ourselves. Its all in the mind. The Battlefield of the Mind. I'm getting so interested in the behaviour of people.. Hmmm... I'm discovering my love for psychology now.. hahah... good night people..

Bon Voyage,
-jOhN "changed" LiM-


PS: Thanx Benjo~ :)

Isaac burn my lantern :( 

Lantern Festival :P 

At King's request ;) 

Of a Dumbass Prank..

Greetings once again. How ya'll? Hope everyone is doing better than me. LOLz. Anyways, regarding the heading, well, this was what happened.

So, yet again after being FFK-ed by Xiang and Isaac, Ernie, Benjoz and I was left to go drink by ourselves. After picking those 2 assholes, we went for a drink at Ming Tien. Surprisingly, I met my tennis coach there with a few chiqs at his side. I was extremely reluctant to say hi considering the fact I avoid his phone calls so often. It is unfortunate that the exams have waived me down till I have to abandon tennis. I promise after getting back from Japan I will resume my lessons. Till then, sayonara. Anyway, so Ernie wanted to drive my car back home. Me being a push-over allowed him to take the wheel. Alright, so I happily sat behind to let Benjoz enjoy himself in the front seat. However Benjoz refuse to sit in front and demanded I sat in front before he walked home. At that moment my ass felt heavy, so, I didnt budge. Benjoz then stormed off. I was happily getting comfortable with my seat while Ern adjusted his seat. So, after some time, Ben had left for some time now. Ern took his sweet time driving around. Soon after we decided to look for Benjo. Fine, we went straight to SS2 area. We looked around for a moment before we decided to turn back into Megah area. As you can read, we fail to find that rascal. Ok, fine. Ern didn't really want to care anymore and wanted to test the abilities of my CLK (Cute Little Kelisa). So we "fei che" (fly car) on the LDP probably reaching at least 110 km/h. He had no doubts that it is a good car. Ngek ngekz, just like the driver ;). Anyway, we decided to wait outside Ben's house for him to come back.

We quietly parked the car and offed the lights and observed the surroundings. We noticed that the doors were open and Benjoz hadn't reached home. So we continued waiting. After a little while Ern had to go back. But we took a last round before leaving. But by the second time we came around, the doors were closed and the slippers were all over. We KNEW Ben was home. So we decided to message him. The twist was, I was to say that I had already sent Ernnie home and I was searching for Ben all alone all these while. Benjoz reacted back asking if I was sure that Ern was really back home. And yes, I lied that Ern was already home. So, like the typical Ben, he just had to hit back on me. Ok, Fine. After settling in my heart that Ben was safely home, we left for Ern's home. We stopped outside Ern's house and chatted for some time. Was really good time getting to know Ern a lil more, NOT in the physical way :P, but it wouldn't be a problem if I could (Hahaha). My bladder was darn full in the car. Anyway, I decided to go into his house and use his toilet. Got carried away and soon enough we were online. Met Benjoz online and this was where the drama began.

Immediately when Ern went online first Ben alarmed him that his phone got stolen. Yes, we knew it was bullshit. But soon after Xiang came messaging saying that Benjoz had just got his phone stolen. So were like, WTH? Benjoz started being pissed and told us what had happened. I was really unsure at that time whether it was true. After much deliberation between Ern and I, Ern decided to call him. Little that I know, it was going to be a big hoax. Fine, so Ern called and told me that he had really lost his phone! This was where I went, SHIT HEAD!... Ben's complaints and sigh-ing became more real and convincing. At this moment, I was..... SHITTY. I was frozen like SHOCKED, STUNNED, REGRETFUL. Story has it that as soon as Ern and I left his home, Benjoz got to his gate and suddenly a robber came and took his phone and 50 bucks. Mind you, Benjoz and I just got our new phone together a week ago. Yes, and it is darn expensive and new. So I was freaking out in Ern's house while he was, errr.. somehow pretty occupied. Hmmm... I wonder why~ Anyway, my heart was pounding like a locomotive train, beating to the song of a thousand screams. I was darn scared. My mind was running, that if he had lost his phone, what could have happened, his mom would blame me cause i allowed him to walk back, his aunty would be darn pissed cause she got him the new phone, and I was even thinkin of giving mine to him. My mind was going wild. But I was darn thankful that Ben was safe. Ok, fine. I was freaking out.

SUDDENLY, Benjoz said there was someone outside his house. Well, APPARENTLY, the robber had been insaf and came to return the ****ing phone and his 50 bucks. Boy oh boy, at that moment, MY MIND WENT, KAPAU?!??!?!! WTH?!! At that moment I knew it was all fake. Ern burst in laughter, Ben finally admitted it was fake. I went into a frenzy. I felt, so lost, didn't know how to react, my emotions were soooooooo mixed when he told me that his phone got stolen and now he's telling me he got it back and it was all fake. I went crazy. Benjoz started thanking Ern and Xiang for sticking with the plan. WHAT FISHING PLAN?!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I started raping Ern at that moment. Felt so cheated man. A part of me was sooo relieved that it wasn't true.

And the rest is history. Boy, they sure know how to fool John. I'm just so dumb, naive, useless, stupid and then list goes on.

Well, tonight had a small gathering for the Mid-Autumn Festival, or in other words, we went out to play lantern ;) Haze was terrible but we had good fun ;) Cheers to you people!

Take care everyone, hope you aren't facing what I am right now. Life still a mess, but well, MOVE ALONG MAN~

-jOhN "freak" LiM-

Random Pic we shot from my car with our new k800i.. wakakaka 

Benjo will hate this pic.. lol 

Me Grace Charisse n Vinz