Monday

Its been a while since i last posted here.... not that im very busy... just that there is nothing much to update...

My mum just had her 3rd cycle last week... she will be starting her 4th but new drug cycle in another 2 weeks time... we asked the dr what are the side effects for this new drug....he says... no vomitting....but will have body aches... numbing of the finger tips... blacken nails.... this sounds pretty easy to manage rite.... but i know body aches can sometimes really very xin ku... mum had body aches before for her past chemo till she cant sleep at nite... hopefully this one is not as bad...

Mum told me she intend to go beijing for holiday after cny... she asked me whether she will need to go for radiation treatment aft her chemo ends... i told her no need for radiation.... didnt hear dr mention abt radiation....


I watched the tv show which featured Shin.... I teared when she talks abt how her kids and husband will manage after she is gone... the moments when she tells her husband what to tell her kids and pass them the things she wants them to have after she left.... this is so sad....and yet she is so brave.... what on earth does anyone has to endure and go thru such pain in awaiting death and knowing she has to leave behind loved ones.... Shin said that the pain will be much more for those surviving loved ones not her... this is so true... she is so considerate and understanding that she knows her worries and saddness will directly have an impact on the people around her...

When my mum reacts very sadly towards the news of her illness... I was deeply affected... I know its hard on the patient herself to react calmly... but caregivers ourselves feel the pain as much as the patient... i know its hard to strike a balance...