World's Easiest Job

Okay...it's official. I've decided on the career for me. There isn't a job in the world that could possibly be easier or pay as much money for little work as one of the silent actors in historical documentaries. Seriously! I was watching a documentary on the History Channel today, and I saw that the most these actors had to do for a day's work was show up, get in makeup and costumes and then stand in front of a camera, moving about in slow motion until the director says cut. In fact, the people portraying these historical figures rarely even have to look good. Have you ever seen pictures of the old Tsars of Russia and their families? Many look hideously ugly, most have not even seen a bathtub in their lives, and all of them can be played by those of us who look...a little less like Brad Pitt in Ocean's 11 and more like Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld. Take this lady for instance: Tsarevna Sophia Alekseyevna, half sister and regent of Peter the Great. She looks quite similar to one of those dogs that everyone says is cute so they don't offend the owner, but really looks like a giant rat with a nose bigger than the rest of its entire body. What do you think about these? I actually think the dog has a much better-looking face. I can think of a few people that would be great at playing Sophia.

WOW! Look at those eyebrows! 

What is the most dangerous workplace hazard to these silent actors and models? Well, it's either contracting carpal tunnel from lifting up the same pen and signing a character's name for hours at a time, or it's suffering some kind of acute respiratory disease from inhaling too much powder from the white wigs. I'm definitely willing to take these chances for a day's pay that's definitely better than working the same amount of time at McDonald's. And there's very little risk of splashing hot oil on yourself. Plus, you'd receive the satisfaction of watching your documentary on television and bragging to all of your friends, "See that guy playing George Washington? That's me! You may not be able to tell because of the wig, the clothes, or the makeup, but it's definitely me!"

Today's documentary also showed about ten minutes of a man playing Tsar Nicholas II of Russia toying with the idea of signing his throne over to his son, his brother, and eventually revolutionaries. I'm serious folks; for ten minutes, I saw video of a man sitting at a table with an oil lamp, picking up a pen, bringing himself to sign the documents, and then chickening out at the last minute and placing the pen back on the table. He did this about twenty thousand times while the narrator said all of the important things. Want to know the best part? All that was shown was his forearms and his hands! This actor/model could have been sitting on the set all day, filming variations of his mock-signing, dressed in gym shorts and a t-shirt with pretend Tsar shirt sleeves. Oh, and I could have done a much better job than our pal dressed in gym clothes, because my fingernails are actually clean. He looked as though he had not washed his hands in the last week at least.

Plus, think of the job security! There are always people creating documentaries of the past that have absolutely no historical video (after all...the video camera is a very recent invention). They have to keep the high school students watching entertained, so they don't use their pencils to gouge out their eyes after seeing nothing but those ugly historians with teeth protruding out of their faces that can only come from one of those British dentists that don't actually know how to take care of teeth. Overall, I see no downside to choosing this as a career. I think I'll go up to school tomorrow and withdraw because I don't need to learn how to pretend to write with a pen...I did that during our multiplication timed-tests in third grade!

Snow Snow Snow SNOW!!!!

Well, it must officially be Christmas Time, because I spent the dreaded time out in that white flaky stuff blowing the snow off the driveway today. I have to say, however, that despite coming in the house soaking wet and smelling like the inside of a gas tank, I somewhat enjoyed my time outside pushing the snow around. There's nothing like being outside with white all around, listening to nothing but the sound of the shovel against the driveway, and just appreciating the beauty that is winter (don't quote me on that in a month or so when I'm complaining about the cold, dark season though). 

The first part of winter is one of my favorite times of the year. I think that's mostly because the snow is accompanied by Christmas carols, brightly colored lights, and stories of people helping one another. Last Monday, I had the opportunity to perform in and help out a little with a benefit concert for the Christmas Box House (for those of you that don't know, the Christmas Box House is a sort of safe haven for abused and abandoned children). It really touched me to see the generosity of people! All of the performers paid a fee to help pay for the facility, so most of the ticket sales went to CBH. We sold $400 in tickets at the door (in addition to all of the kids' pre-sold tickets), and then we stood outside the doors after the concert with tins, where we collected another $1000!!! In fact, one man plopped two folded fifties into my tin!

My Singles' Ward has a tradition of adopting a family or two for a Sub-For-Santa. This year, despite all of the economic hardships and everything, my ward (that is made mostly of students) raised almost $5,000 for two families! I haven't had the chance to participate in the shopping and wrapping, but I'm SO excited to help deliver the presents to these families that are in need of a Christmas. I'm so happy to see all of this generosity all around me; it's been such a great example. THIS is what Christmas is all about!

Now, what would your mother say, or, when you think no one is watching...

Tonight, I was riding a Trax train in Downtown Salt Lake City, staring out the window and contemplating the meaning of life and various other items needless to be mentioned, I saw the reflection in the glass of the twenty-something man sitting just down from me. Oh, but this man wasn't simply sitting. As I saw him, he had no idea I was watching, so he buried his face in a bent arm and committed the most horrific faux pas known to man; he shoved his unoccupied pointer finger up his nostril to relieve his schnoz of some built up mucus. In layman's terms, he picked his nose. But wait; he didn't stop there. Instead of removing his finger from his nose and wiping the residue on a gently used tissue or handkerchief, the man turned his hand palm-side-up, made a fist with all his fingers but the offending forefinger and proceeded to examine his findings. Apparently, there was something extremely fascinating with this projectile of the proboscis, because he stared at it. He stared at the booger for what seemed to be at least twenty-seven seconds or so. After he seemingly found no more interest in the mucus flicked his fingers, sending the offending object flying through the car like a rocket until it made a crash landing on the window across from him. Since I wasn't about to get up with a tissue and clean it off, it hung there, dangling in all its glory, for the duration of our trip. We both exited the train at the same stop, so I made sure that I stayed as far away from him as humanly possible so that A) I wouldn't become infected by whatever bacteria were now thriving on the man's hand and B) I wouldn't look the man in the face and let out the great guffaw that I had been holding in. Normally, I wouldn't even think twice about someone picking his or her nose in public. In fact, it's quite a natural occurrence. However, the lingering desire this man had to examine the particulate matter in great detail disgusted me to the core. Isn't it amazing what we'll do when we think people aren't looking?

I proceeded from the Trax train to the FrontRunner to return to Ogden, hoping to have a nice relaxing ride full of quite solitude in which I could read my book. Of course, something entirely different was in store for me. It just so happened that the car with the most room, which I chose for obvious reasons, also contained an annoying throng of teenagers who shattered all social norms by yelling at the top of their lungs and being, as teenagers usually are, exceptionally annoying. These young whippersnappers spent the entire trip fighting over who ate the last M&M and participating in barbaric teenage rituals such as flirting neanderthalically with girls who couldn't be less interested and asking for their phone numbers. I had the worst time concentrating on my book, and I had to read most pages at least twice. It was a battle of wills. My will was to be the socially acceptable person who sits and endures the bedlam erupting in the train, and theirs was to be as obtusely disturbing to those around them as humanly possible. In the end, my will won, because they got off in Roy; I had one entire leg of the trip to travel quietly: what great victory.

But seriously...did these kids think that they were the only people on the train, or do they just consider themselves to be the most important life forms in the universe? One man was there, chaperoning them all, and he did absolutely nothing to thwart their narcissistic efforts. I want to know if their mothers know they act as immature as they did this evening. What would your mother say if she knew you acted like that? I urge you all to eliminate this social faux pas from your life. Conform! Be the one that talks to no one on the train, making sure not to sit too close to another human being. Keep to yourselves so I can read my book, sleep, or whatever else I choose to do in the 54 minutes we share together while learning nothing more about you, as a polite member of society should do!

Santa: CTU

Okay...so I may be a little obsessed with 24, but I found this great video on Hulu today! Check it out!!!

Good Tidings of Great Joy!

Well, it's December 1st and therefore the official beginning of Christmas. Christmas is such a great time of the year...in fact, it's my favorite! I love the sights and sounds, the feelings, and the meaning. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, was born. Heavenly angels bore witness that He would truly be the one to save us; to redeem us from the world. This little baby that was born over 2000 years ago in the most humble of conditions means that we can live with our Father in Heaven again. In Luke 2:10, the Angel said to the shepherds, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." The Doctrine & Covenants gives us a little more insight into that historic phrase. In Section 76 verses 40-42, we read:

"And this is the gospel, the glad tidings, which the voice of the heavens bore record unto us—That he came into the world, even Jesus, to be crucified for the world and to bear the sins of the world, and to sanctify the world, and to cleanse it from all unrighteousness; That through him all might be saved..."

Isn't that amazing? The little baby that was born grew up to be the Savior of all the world. He felt every pain, every disappointment, every sin that each and every one of us has felt, feels now, and will feel in the future. He has made it possible for us to have eternal life with our loved ones in the presence of God. Concerning those that will become exalted, verse 69 of Section 76 says, "These are they who are just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood." We don't have to do it alone; we can be made perfect through Jesus Christ, who has borne our sins through that perfect atonement. These inspired words from Prophets of God give me such great comfort, and especially in this Christmas season, I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. He suffered that we might not suffer. He died that we may have eternal life. I urge you all to remember this throughout the Christmas season. Act a little more Christlike toward your fellow men. Be generous. Help those that are less fortunate than you...there are a lot of them out there. Most of all, have a Merry Christmas!

Anarchy!

As I was waiting in line at the grocery store a few days ago (no, I wasn't distracted by the usual items placed at the register to prod impulse buying, which is a major feat), I found myself contemplating just why—in our liberal, narcissistic, all-about-me society—people actually wait in line to pay for their groceries. It seems to me that in the past decade or so, the majority of the population has become increasingly self-centered and discourteous. I can barely travel five miles-per-hour above the speed limit without one or two drivers anxiously riding my tail and then whizzing past me at the earliest possible convenience. An old man can no longer stand at the register of a convenience store, counting out pennies to buy a pack of gum, without a soccer mom behind him disgustingly tapping her foot, rolling her eyes and sighing with abhorrence as she remarks to her friend on her Blackberry how long it is taking to pay for her morning Coke. In this day of vanity, how is it that a queue can still form and people still wait in line? Wouldn't pure anarchy please the masses today?

As I was contemplating the answer to this perplexing question, other infractions upon my personal "bubble" came to mind. Walking from class to class on campus, so much is forced upon me. Just the other day, I followed two girls (sisters, I assume) who spent the entire length of our walk cursing at each other, throwing their shoulders back and their heads toward the sky, and huffing about like little children. The only way for me to completely avoid the deplorable language that was so rudely used would be to put my headphones in my ears and concentrate on the music on my iPod, but then, no doubt, someone would scowl at me because I didn't hear them behind me and therefore couldn't get out of his or her way soon enough. Almost daily, I am obliged to walk through a cloud of nicotine-laced smoke while walking in the doors of the business building on campus because the "no smoking within 25 feet of a public building" law evidently does not apply to the smokers at universities. The time of good manners has so obviously passed, so why do we even try at all?

Well, I believe I've come up with a half-way decent answer. Most of us live in fear of one another, and those of us who don't genuinely want to make the world at least a little bit happier. The majority of people form themselves into lines out of dread for what may happen if we "butt" in front of someone else. Pick the wrong person to put off, and they'll tell you to "F-off," follow you out to your car and slash your tires while you're putting the groceries in your trunk, and then proceed to ram your compact-sized car with their giant new truck with spinners on the wheels and blaring rap music—sending you directly to the emergency room. For those of you, however, who truly try to be polite, I commend you for bringing a little bit of happiness to the rest of us. You are the one that single-handedly makes the world a better place. I admire you. I want to be like you, but for now I'll keep cowering like a sissy with the other eighty percent of us that are afraid of confrontation.

For those of you that don't appreciate cynicism, I apologize to you for ranting so much in this post. Please come back to my blog tomorrow to see the newest update, because I'll try to write something a little more up-beat.

Toilet Paper and a various sundry of other blather...

I've come to notice one of the little annoying things in life over the past little while. It seems like every time I go into the bathroom to...finish my digestion...I look over to wipe and there is about a half a sheet of toilet paper left! It must just be me, because I seem to have to replace the toilet paper every time I go into the commode, which means that my family must always have a plentiful supply. They must git a great kick out of picturing me stranded on the toilet, with pants down to my ankles, worrying about how I'm going to find the next square of TP without flashing the world. Oh, but don't you worry...I've come up with a system to thwart their evil little plans. I keep a spare 4-pack of toilet paper in the cabinet next to the John so that all I have to do is reach over and grab a new roll. HA! Their plot has been discovered and I am victorious!

Want to know what else has been bothering me about good ol' bathroom tissue? The rolls seem to get smaller and smaller each time we get a new pack! Have you noticed that? Well here's my theory. Companies like Charmin and Quilted Northern and conspiring against the everyday consumer. Every week, the rolls of TP come with one less square. Over the years it hasn't been a problem, but as the rolls get smaller, one notices the seemingly insignificant portion of tissue missing on the roll because we're used to the bigger, plushier rolls of days past. They think that we haven't caught on, but I definitely have. They're charging us more for less...and now I have to look over my shoulder because the toilet paper companies' minions are coming to force gag me. But I won't give up! I won't!!! Tell all the world!

In other news, I have an assignment for my Exploring Multimedia class to play five video games over the Thanksgiving holiday. We get to pick any games we want, but they eventually have to hit every category given to us (New, Old, Computer, Console, Violent, Girly, etc.). So, I've had to ask my brother to teach me how to play video games...this should be an adventure. Last night I downloaded the World of Warcraft trial, and it's actually fun! I'm glad the trial only lasts ten days, because I just might be getting addicted already. Any other suggestions for games I should play?

Well, I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. Right now, I have to get off the "throne" to find some more wiping supplies without being seen, because I forgot to re-stock my secret stash...wish me luck!

Oh nuts...I mean bananas...

I was talking to my friend Danielle today and she mentioned a trip that she took to Guatemala...i think...can you tell I'm a good listener? Anywho...Danielle said that one of the best part of her trip was her chance to hold a monkey, which subsequently bit her twice and pulled her hair (sounds like some of the kindergartners I used to work with). Her little story reminded me of a lifelong dream that I had when I was...oh...about eight. I wanted to own a monkey. Not just any monkey, I wanted the brightest, cutest, cuddliest monkey in existence. In fact, I still want one. Think about it: monkeys, if well trained, could do chores around the house, give you a little massage, be a buddy, and many can even be taught Sign Language! I could play my accordion while he dances on the street with a cup and make some extra Christmas spending money. Beside all of the above reasons, I think I'd pretty much be the envy of all the kids on the block. I mean, who else could say they have the coolest pet in the world?!?

Blessings...and a little fun.

It's been a rather interesting week this week. I've had a cold and just haven't felt all-together...well. However, this morning marked the beginning of our Stake Conference Weekend. The University 1st Stake had a stake temple day, and it made up for everything I've been feeling this week. The Temple helped me to realize what a blessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is. He is there for me, and he has felt everything that I am feeling – good and bad. He knows the pains that I feel when I'm sick, he knows the sadness I feel when things aren't going so well, and he knows the stress I feel every day. Jesus Christ is there for me and you, and all we have to do is ask for his help.

In other news, I went to my very first concert last night! I know...it's a little sad. I'm 20 years old, and I'm just going to my first concert (unless you count school concerts and the like). But it was a BLAST!!! I saw The Hush Sound, The Spill Canvas and One Republic last 

night, and it was awesome! I first heard about The Hush Sound on a poster for this concert, and they have since become my all-time favorite band. They're up-beat and happy in contrast to many other bands out there today. Do you want to know the best part of it all? I GOT TO MEET THEM!!! The Hush Sound came up for pictures and autographs after they were done. Anywho...I'll post a couple videos of the concert later...as soon as I can convert them to the right file type...Peace Out!

I need to work on my skills...

So...I was playing racquetball tonight with a couple of friends...okay, I wasn't really playing. I was subbing in and out of a game; probably to provide some sort of comic relief. I swear that my racquet had a whole in it the size of , well, an entire racquet because just about the only thing I hit the entire night was air. Sure, I may have hit the ball once or twice, but that was sheer luck. I think it hit the edge of my racquet where the whole wasn't. In fact, the entire thing was a bit of a flashback to my elementary school days. Picture it: the nerdy fat kid with big-honking goggles chasing after a ball that he could never hit. The only difference between then and now is I'm not quite as fat...proportionally speaking. I'm still the nerdy kid with the enormous goggles (who wants to be hit in the eye with a racquet...not me) chasing after the same elusive ball. I guess I never played enough video games as a child, because my hand-eye coordination is simply nonexistent. The other guys were way nice about it, but I got out of that court as soon as I could think of an excuse. I've made a pledge, however. I'm buying myself a racquet and practicing until I can actually stand playing with other humans without making a fool out of myself.

In other news, FOUR MORE DAYS until I Vegas!!! Yes, I'm excited for a trip to sin city. I know that probably shouldn't be the case, but I'm SO ready for a break from school. Have you ever been at that point in your life where everything seems to be hovering around one week? I have a test in Economics that I'm not even close to being prepared for, half of a marketing plan that I've been procrastinating, and a comparison paper on diseases that changed the world. They are ALL due next Thursday...the day I get back from Vegas. So, like any responsible college student would do, I decided not to do any of it tonight (because I don't know where to start) and instead ate pizza and played racquetball. Extremely responsible indeed. No wonder I'm getting horrible grades this semester.

Life's Random Moments

I absolutely love life's random moments. I had so much fun tonight! The best part is, I did absolutely nothing in particular. After the Sunday YSA social at the Henderson's, Hailey, Jared, and I drove around to no where in particular while listening to The Carpenters Christmas CD. I know, October isn't the typical month to be listening to Christmas music, but with all the snow on the ground, I simply couldn't help it. There's nothing better after the first snow storm than listening to Karen Carpenter sing "The First Snowfall of the Winter" while driving through streets decorated in snow that is usually saved for those particularly fluffy winter days. I have to admit, I wasn't very excited yesterday when the first flakes began to fall, but as I sat listening to the music of the holidays, I had a major attitude adjustment and now can't wait for Christmas!

Okay, back on track now. Life is too short to have it filled with monotonous chores and boring conversations. Life is best lived by the seat of one's pants. The more randomness we can inject into each day, the happier we'll all be. For instance, next time you're in a boring conference, try putting on a sombrero and shaking a maraca. Sure, you may get a few unsavory glances by those lonely stiffs who have nothing better to do with their lives but scowl, but you just made your day a little better, and hopefully someone who, I don't know, has fixation with colorful Mexican Mariachi bands and hasn't seen one in ages. You just made their day.

Have you ever seen the FISH movie? If not, there are a couple of values they talk about at the Pikes Fish Market in Seattle (the place where they throw fish just to make work a little more interesting). These values, as you incorporate them into your life in the office (and everywhere else), make your life exponentially more enjoyable. Anywho, the first two values are my favorite, and I think everyone should adhere to them: Play and Make Their Day. Life just isn't complete without a little play. You may have the worst job in the world, get paid squat, and absolutely distain your boss, but if you can play a little bit each day, you'll enjoy going to work. As each of us try to "Make Their Day," meaning helping anyone and everyone have a little bit better day, we'll not only help our fellow man; we'll make our day that much more meaningful. I challenge you all to play more, and make people's day. Make your life enjoyable with those random moments. Be spontaneous. I can't wait until the next time I'm spontaneous. In fact, I'm going to plan on doing it tomorrow.

I'm a little sick...

Okay, I think I'm a little sick in the head. We had a Par-Tay for Alysa's birthday on Friday, and since autumn is one of my favorite seasons, I kinda went all out on preparing some treats & such...I racked my brain trying to think of some good things for some fall-themed treats, and eventually I came across a couple of fun ideas. SO, I hollowed out some pumpkins for Queso and Salsa with some chips, I shaped an orange cheese ball like a pumpkin with a little broccoli stalk for a stem, and I found a great recipe for pumpkin pie dip that I served with apple slices and some graham cracker thingys (quite the technical term, I know). I also know that this sounds like something a woman would do, but I am very secure in my masculinity...I just like to go all-out for stuff like this. In fact, I'm contemplating starting a catering business some time in the future. What do you all say? I know it could be difficult...starting up a business that has so much to do with personal tastes, but it would be SO fun! Think about it for a second...almost all of the best chefs and caterers out there are men, so I already have a competitive advantage! Now, don't go off calling me sexist...I just think that I would have that killer instinct. Here are some of the recipes I used:

Pumpkin Pie Dip

1 (16 oz) block Cream Cheese

2 cups Powdered Sugar

1 can (15 oz) Pumpkin Pie Filling (not just canned pumpkin)

Cinnamon Sticks

Powdered Saigon Cinnamon

Mix cream cheese and powdered sugar with a mixer until smooth and creamy. Add the

 pumpkin and beat until fully mixed and lighter in color. Be sure to scrape the bottom, because if you don't, you probably won't get all of the cream cheese mixed in. Chill for 4 hours in the refrigerator. Garnish with Saigon Cinnamon and Cinnamon Sticks and serve with apple slices and/or graham crackers.

Yields: About 3 cups

"Pumpkin Cheese Ball"

2 (8-ounce) blocks extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened

1 (8-ounce) container chive-and-onion cream cheese

2 teaspoons paprika

1 teaspoon Bon Apetit Seasoning

1 broccoli stalk

In a mixing bowl, combine cheese, and both cream cheeses. Mix until combined. Add Seasoning and mix well. Cover. Refrigerate at least 2 hours. Just before serving, shape cheese ball into a pumpkin. You can use your fingers to make the vertical lines or even a jack-o-lantern face. Cut the stalk off of the broccoli and put it on the top, upside-down. HINT: Before shaping the ball, coat your hands with nonstick cooking spray so the cheese won't stick to your fingers!

Anywho, I hope you don't think I'm too weird for doing something like this...remember...I'm not weird. I'm just quirky ;-)

Satisfying an Urge

SO....today I satisfied an urge that I have had for quite some time. In fact, I've had this particular urge for about a year: since last October! Now, don't get your panties in a bind; before you get all discombobulated, let me tell you that this urge had nothing to do with immorality or anything like that. Where is your mind? Get it out of the gutter...

The urge that I satisfied was the desire I've had for steaming hot, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth Pumpkin Pancakes from IHOP. No, I'm not trying to advertise them to you. But seriously, go try them. Now. No, wait...finish reading this article first, because what I have to say is extremely important. Are you ready? I hope so, because here it goes.

I decided that one of the most important things in life is food. Shocker, eh? Yes, I know that it is important to live and all that, but food is truly important to emotions. Each bite of these wonderfully fluffy pancakes gave me a little bit of happiness. It was like a piece of pure bliss in my mouth for a couple minutes. The best part about food is that it can never let you down. Even if you have a bad taste in your mouth, you have the next meal to look forward to.

Also, look back in your life. When are the happiest times? Family get-togethers? Christmas? Birthdays? Easter? What do they all have in common? That's right! It's food. People don't necessarily like spending time with their families on Thanksgiving; they truly enjoy eating turkey, stuffing, potatoes, yams, and rolls until you either burst or have to use a rubber band to secure the button area on your pants (unless you're one of the smart people that wear stretchy 90s pants on Thanksgiving). Food is wonderful. It is not only vital to our health, but needed for our emotional well-being. So, eat up!

Now you can go get those Pumpkin Pancakes from iHop. Try it!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Nathan. You can see a picture of little Nathan on the left. Nathan grew up as one of those awkward, nerdy little kids that didn't have too many friends his own age. When Nathan was in elementary school, he was misunderstood. His teachers called him weird. Why? Simply because he checked out cook books in the school's library. His classmates called him weird. Why? Because he was a chubby little teachers' pet with glasses. Then Nathan grew up. Did he ever change? Well, even if he didn't, let's just say that Nathan grew into his quirkiness. Nathan started high school and met friends that held the same interests as him. He sang in the choir, cooked all the time (even developing a few of his own "secret recipes"), and he continued being the teachers' pet that he was.

Fast forward a few years. Nathan is now a sophomore at Weber State University. That's where Nathan is today. If you couldn't tell by the title at the top of this page, I am Nathan. I hope you enjoy reading my blog! I'll try to keep it interesting...I hope. But I'd really like your feedback! Well, I'll see you around here soon. Thanks for visiting!