JADEDNESS

feeling it right now.

i guess it would soon fade away? well, beats me. i dont give a shit. all i know that you have to go to the root of the problem

which is to....

arghh. it sucks.

people change.

and as a matter of fact, for the worst.




last day of work tml.
many sane humans will feel happy to leave the working life and get back their very own social life and friends.

but somehow i just dont feel this way

mixed feelings.

good, and bad.


10 am.

good luck ben.

dont you just hate sunday nights?

i have work tml which makes sunday's night a misery.
how about you?



arghh, it sucks.




okay, mass comm interview turned out fine.

daryl david said that i have a nice deejay voice
haha. not face, VOICE.

total hawwwtness =)

however much,
no false hopes nor high expectations,
just praying for the best.


and sher, dont worry. nailing the interview is just your thang and just blow them away. we will have bang bang as a celebration on sat night.




nothing much today.
church, protege, fish and co.

vaness was hilarious.
thought protege was politics and just pronouncing it as PRO TEGE.

french, darling.

daron called me after the show and guess what he told me.

"daryl david called me today to tell me that i got in and also ask me to tell you that you didnt make it. he tried to contact you but you didnt pick up. dont be sad k"


brillant daron on the other hand, didnt know that firstly, daryl david told me personally that results will be out early march and that there were no missed calls on my phone.


Mass lying, daron, mass lying.
its so you.

disturbed him after meeting him.


"enough is enough"

haha.

daron, thanks for being my friend.

handsome. hawwwt. hunk. and just being yourself.

meet up soon.



i can't explain what you can't explain

keep holding on,
my brain's ticking like a bomb.





interview tml

i either make or break it.



All the best ben =)



"For i know the plans i have for you, declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

in another words, mass comm.
claimed it.




the week's been good, just nice i guess.

out of the five working days, i took 3 off.
tell me how good my life has been.


been running around to get testimonials for my portfolio and just shopping!
not those type of you see the clothes, you try them on and you put them back and leave.

Its you see the clothes, you try them on, you put at the cashier and you see more and you buy them all.


:)


and the chinese new year ang baos have sadly yet fruitfully flew out the window.

i learnt my lesson, not to save the money and spent it slowly. cause the money would all be spent on leisure and not myself.

thus im broke.


watched letters from god-knows-what-is-the-last-two-words with tab and nat yesterday

typical war drama.
they fight, they bleed, and they die.

i wouldnt say its boring, but i slept.

simply put, just not my type of show.

i'll stick to thrillers.




and i like what pee had quoted, "i had a sunburnt even though there was no sun."


haha. hilarious.


i'm having a sunburn now, in my air-conditioned room

in the abyss of time,
you will somehow tell,
you will somehow know,
the differences that lies within.

sometimes you just don't fit in;

and, sometimes you can never make it on your own.

okay;

shit happens.


guess i'll be spending new year with sore throat, spinning head and heat emitting from my skin.


stayed home today.
pretty mundane

BORING.



so yes indeed, i took the first day of the lunar new year to catch up with myself. the sleep, the relaxation, the stress-free freedom, of not needing to run around and work.

visiting was ruled out
probably shall do some of that tomorrow.

now i know its mandatory to visit your folks on these special and important occasion, but you dont want them to be sick just because of your selfish gains and evil monetary gains, dont you?

love for money is the root of all evil.

haha.

ben ar ben, how thoughtful you are =)




coughs coughs.



pffff. it sucks to be sick. you can't have the pineapple tarts, the chocolates, that stick-like popiah and all the peanuts.


ARGHH!


feel me on that.


so i guess it will be Happy Chinese Sick year, ben! =(



moving right along,

went cam-whoring with daron a few days back.

and we're wait.. and wait

for the right one.

the week's been great.

from working to running around in TP filling up the DAE and JPSAE forms for cmm.

God i really hope i get into this course, please.


the lord's been good nonetheless, to me that is. preserving my sanity in both the physical and emotional.


and i still abhor the mrt rides in the mornings with zombies from all over.

from big rounded rimmed 60s spectacles to long worn off 30s skirts.

it sickens me.


rice cookers and thermo flasks have also been gracious, not giving me any technicalities faults in which sparing me from all the drama that a customer would show if finding out that the rice cooker cant cook.



moving right along, away from the depressed and wrecked aspect of my current life situation

celebrated valentine's day with sher and the rest.

and as usual, valentine's day being ever so overrated and dramatic.

yes i know it a cliche, but i guess in a relationship, valentine's day should be everyday.
haha.

i hear that everywhere

live to the cliches.



so i guess i spent this year valentine's day fruitfully. well in my opinion, i would rather term it as friendship day and know-your-friend-better day.

just spending it with your friends its simply awesome. forgo the flowers, the bouquet, the dinners, the movies the heart-shaped balloons and all the love related gifts and mushy catch phrases..

being single is good.


yeah yeah.

not for long, hunn.



so it would be going back to sthildas for CNY celebrations tomorrow.

a break from the rice pots


sentosa in the afternoon.
sexy sun, here comes sexy ben.

give me a tan.

im been super white from the fluroscent lights in taka.

SK II at its finest










and you, thanks for being my buddy =)

one and only?

yes yes.

"I believe in christianity as i believe in the sun. Not only because i see it but because by it i see everything else."
-C. S. Lewis

you know how sometimes in the fearful moments that God just come through for you and perform a miracle?


well, he just did for me


thank you jesus.


L1R4: 13
L1R5: 17

i can freaking go JC!!!

ben, JC?

nah, far from it.

if i can barely make it on time.


so it would be either mass comm or hospi for me =)


and its funny how from a score of 31 for prelims to 17 for Os

amazing.


its really God


and in the back alley of my mind, i would want to thank jiajia leeting and leejie.

haha

thanks for making me play catching with you when i was studying intensively for Os.



you're welcome.







=)



And i will bless the lord for ever,
your praise will always be on my lips.

and the only way to get through valleys in life is to keep walking.






You're the God of miracles.

3 more days to results

so you can guess my age

YUP!

A 19 year old graduate from RJC awaiting for A level results.
haha


OH BOY BOY BOY!!!


i'm feeling like an electrocuted chicken
and in my chicken language i will still shout;


PEKAWH!


which also means..


Jesus blood never fails.




well anyways, on a more jovial and humane mood,

HAPPY 21st birthday, michelle!

hope the surprise party was fun and of course surprising =D




and i was just thinking to myself that the year of being 16, 18, and 21 are the stepping stone years.

the years that you HAVE TO celebrate like never before.

NC 16

M18

R21


total hotness

fly or shy guy?

shy.



CASH CASH CASH!!!

i finally got my pay =)

Aunties and Uncles was all a worth.

i can see myself with lots of shopping bags and a new guitar

WOOOOOOOO!!!!


but speaking of which, tomorrow lies a whole new depressive day.
i love it.



so it was back to hong kong cafe for zer's birthday. unusually everything seemed the same, from the waiters that served to the waiter that helped take pictures and to the ambience.

nostalgia at its very finest.

well anyways,

happy birthday to you zer. hope you enjoyed everything that was "planned" and the presents that made everyone shift out of their luxurious and comfort houses to slumps and the whole "I MUST BE EMO" period at the swimming pool


bussed down to mereith's house which was somewhat in geylang after the cafe

total coolness. never been there before. And as if on cue, no homos or trans were spotted. Well except for daron of course.


social clock has been screwed. went home the next day at 11am and slept til 3 then it was off to the debate.

Aggressive and a fierce sight as young kids battle out their hearts.

Clara and Gaius shocked me. Was it due to nervousness or the rage surging in them?

Intriguing; very.



met my homo friend after his work for billard

he tried to seduce me but being a pure male,
i rejected.


haha.
i'm joking.



fly or shy guy?

shy.

actually none. i'm a mixture. =)

they say, a picture speaks volumes.
hmm. i got lots of volumes to show.

cam whoring with isaac at studio;

To the left, to the left.

so i guess this week its all about moving to the left into the store to get the rice cookers and electrical airports. Notice the term electrical airports, you dont call it thermo flask. Didn't know that didnt you?

Such low standard termed products are not part of what i sell =)

proud to declare.

well anyways,

as usual, work's a dread.
a freaking hellish routine.


especially in the mornings, when the alarm rings, you just lie there on the bed thinking whether you should go to work. And in the back ally of my head, there's a battle. A battle between CASH and SLEEP.

i'm barely making it.


whatever happen to tanning, gymming, and the social activities?
i believe work took it all.

drama me, but i have to express my agonising pain.

i'm only left with the nights to do what i want, but sad to say, you can't do much at night, can you?
the most starbucks?
and sher and yuanxiang will nod their head in total unison and agreement


it sucks to work.


oh well
on a more lighter tone, at least people are visiting me almost everyday. The lunch and shopping together really helps loads

Honestly speaking, i hate to be alone. Sitting in a foodcourt alone just seem utterly depressing.

Thank you lord for friends. Send me more!

haha. yes. so if you are reading this. please help ben by coming to taka basement 1 to pay him a visit. he'll bring you around and show where the good food are hidden. It's a deal.




and i'm still holding on.
Help.