Today, Azury has nothing to be proud off. Except for the nasi minyak she made that the children couldn't get enough off (sempat bangga diri), she is beyond all doubt, very much disappointed with herself.. up to a point where she even change her pronoun in this entry.
This morning, Azury went shopping at Pasar Tani with her children and her maid. Halfway thru she realised that she lost her car key. Afraid that she might have left it in her car, she walked as fast as she could, leaving behind her two children chasing after their mad mother. Azury was relieved when she found that her car was still where it was. She should be because besides leaving her car unlock, she also left the car key in the ignition. How schewpit!
In the car, Dania insisted to go home because she needed to pee. Obviously, somebody forgot to remind her to go to the loo this morning. Trying to cover her own mistake, Azury asked Dania why she didn't do it before they went out. Dania, not falling for her mom's trap, defended herself by being angry at her mother instead for not reminding her. So this was what Azury answered:
"you're already a big girl, you should take care of yourself!"Clearly, Azury deserved to be knocked on her head for saying that. First knock for the silly, egoistic and inconsiderate answer, and secondly for misusing and inappropriately exercising her power which ended up making a five years old feeling guilty. What a bad mom...
On their way back, Azury kept insisting that she will never bring along her children to the market again. Because
they made mommy kelam-kabut that she left the key in the car, because
they need to go to the toilet that mommy couldn't finish her shopping. It was all her children's fault... because mommy was living in denial.
But wait, Azury didn't learn her lesson yet. At home after taking her bath, Azury covered her wet hair using Dania's towel. Dania came into her room and tried to pull the towel off her head. Azury got pissed and said, "
There were three more towels hanging in the room and you choose to pull the one on my head?!!" Dania was clearly not happy with her mother and decided to showcase her anger by smashing things around, which irked Azury more. To cut long story short, Dania finally gave in. But instead of feeling victorious, Azury felt bad. First, for using other people's stuff and got mad when that person showed sign of disapproval. Second, for disallowing others to display their dissatisfactions when they have all the right to. Third, kerana menjadi seperti ketam yang mengajar anak supaya jalan lurus, sedangkan diri sendiri berjalan senget. Marah anak marah-marah? What lesson was there to be taught?
Idiot.
And this morning, Azury did realise that her nails were getting longer, but procrastination and laziness stopped her from reaching out for the nail clipper. Tonight, in an attempt to stop Nafis from licking and hitting his sister further, Azury accidentally scratched her son's face. At first she thought it was nothing but when Nafis started to cry, only then she noticed the red abrasion on the little guy's chin. Regret came to haunt but damage was already done.
Ouch.. that hurts! Still smiling though.Isk!
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Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Especially for the two poor little children.
Mommy got so much more to learn. Sorry... :(