Food and I

I spend a lot of time thinking and I devote a lot of time to trying to figure out why things are going the way they are. Currently my relationship with food is the topic of choice.

Food and I have a long dysfunctional relationship.  I do want to start out by saying I do not blame my Mom for any of this, I believe with all of my heart that anything that went on between us was done with the genuine intention of helping me. No ill will intended whatsoever no matter what the outcome was. 

I look back a my childhood pictures and I now see a little girl with puppy fat. Maybe she would have outgrown it or maybe it would have stayed had it not become concern. That we will never know because I was put on my first diet when I was 7 or 8 years old. The grapefruit diet. Mom and I did it together. It was with that decision that battle lines were drawn, the food control gauntlet was thrown down and a war that would last for years was begun.

I stayed fat all of life through the determination on my part that I was going to control what I ate. Food was my comfort, my reward, my incentive, my friend and my control. I could always get myself to do something I might not be too keen on with the promise of a food reward. I would willingly cook up something I was craving an not think twice.

This has now changed. When it first started to change I was amazed. It was a totally novel experience and I admit I was enchanted for a brief period, now I would like to know why. What changed you ask? I have lost a great deal of interest in food, Not just some food  almost all food. I can miss meals and not feel deprived. The other day I had ice cream, my total addiction in the past, something I could not stay away from at any point in time, I ate half of it and threw the container out!!!!! WTF I just knew I would not finish it and I had a mild repulsed reaction to the thought of it. 

I have no idea what is up with this. A container of yogurt, some nuts, a chuck of cheese and a bit of fruit is often supper when I remember to eat it. Breakfast is no problem I seem to manage it. My weight does not seem to change, so I have no idea what the heck is going on. I remain a mystery unto myself.

Toodles Linda

I Have no Excuse so lets move on

Yes its been a minute but I plan to be back here more regular in future. So lets forget the gap and move on. I actually have things to talk about for once. Busy and the Carpenter were here and worked like rented mules once again for me. He finished the upstairs bathroom and I have to say it lovely

 I just love it and have had nothing but compliments on it. Busy took a round out of my yard and got it looking like someone actually cares about it.

I really cannot thank them enough for all they have done. She cleaned up the back bed a well and I had planned to get woood chips for it up my next door neighbour asked if he could plant some vegetables in there and I would not have to pay him to mow my lawn. Win win so he is using the space and I don't have to buy wood ships or pay for mowing. Its all good.

I am amazed each year at how quickly the green comes back in  spring. One minute nothing and the next leaves are out and the Hostas and pushing out of the ground. The peonies are reaching for the sun and the birds are singing. Its wonderful. Busy arranged my veranda so I can get my walker down to my bench with no problem so coffee on the veranda is once again a thing at this house. 

Speaking of morning coffee one thing we do when Busy and the Carpenter visit is one of them make coffee first thing in the morning and we sit and chat over a fresh brew to start the day. It is one of my favourite things that we do. Its a nice little ritual to start the day.

Well I need to go do some laundry. 

Toodles, Linda