Prayers for 2009

A Happy New Year to All!

I have not been blogging ... news to all I am sure. I am really working right now on balance---giving myself more space and more simplicity in order to gain a greater sense of peace and "at homeness" with my life as ds and just being Susan. I will admit this has been a fairly difficult fall ds-wise. The loss of four pastors in my district from pulpits has caught up with me tired-wise the last couple of weeks. The greatest strain with this is that four charges have experienced pastoral transition that was not their fault---all different situations, but the hurt and grief, in one way or another is the same. And empathizer that I am according to Stengthfinders et al, I have hurt along side and with these wonderful lay folks who have ended up being the ones who suffer from decisions that their leadership make.

My prayers for the Church and for myself over the next year:

That the appointments made this coming spring will be inspired through and empowered by the Holy Spirit.

That the lay folks of our district will continue to find creative, compassionate and contextually relevant ways to minister to their communities

That I can be the kind of ds that is needed in my district; that I will stay open to learning more and more about the needs of our churches and communities; that I will remain pliable enough to change my mind when I need to, and continue to know that Jesus is the rock in a weary land, and the shelter in the time of storm.

That Kevin Buckrucker's flight schedule would PLEASE let him be home more, because I miss his collegiality as our district lay leader and friend in deed.

That we find just the right office space in which to move in 2010 that will move forward the ministries of the district.

That my deep and nearly indescribably rich love for the local church and its mission as the body of Christ in the specific place it is planted, and the mysterious union between Christ and his church, and the joy unspeakable that I experienced repeatedly this fall at charge conference, be the impetus for my ministry now and throughout my superintendency.

And prayers for me...

That I do really lose that 20 pounds by conference that I am determined to lose.

That my children continue to emerge into their adulthood with grace and beauty (Specifically, that Cana be able to get through the math classes she will have to get through in the next two years in order to make that law school dream a reality and that Caleb will get a job...)

That if it is the will of God for my life, a man of spiritual maturity appear who will love me as I am and that I can love.

That I be, for all my friends and family, a supportive, steady presence upon whom they can rely and know that I am to be trusted with their tears, their confidences and their joys.

That I find a really wonderful and inexpensive Danish modern buffet for my dining room. (maybe one just like in the picture adevertised on ebay, but a tenth of the price that is being asked??)

That I keep up with reading Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening.

That my new computer and my Ipod touch enable ministry as well as just be fun for me.

And please God, I pray, that no other pastors leave pulpits, that I find a whole bunch of great part time pastors who want to serve on the east side of the district especially, that more of the churches pay apportionments in full by January 8 than have today, that Barbara Webb (our office manager and my admin asst) does not meet a man who takes her away to Tahiti to live a life of leisure, that Linda Leist experiences complete recovery, that Barak Obama does indeed help our country out of our difficult time, and that the charges where pastors have left, Wesley: Sweet Springs/Concordia; Napolean; North Street/Elmwood; and Weston, that these charges might somehow know, even in the midst of the confusing times, that in all things Christ works

for good for those who love God; that even though things happen and others do things that seem meant for harm, God can mean for good; and that nothing in all creation can separate us from the love in of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Amen

A bit on my week....

An apology for not blogging the last five days as I said I would. I have left undone the things that I ought to have done, but I really haven't done too many things that I ought to have done...except blog of course. Firstly, I went to a great meeting in Austin TX Sunday through Tuesday on rethinking how we make appointments Elmer Revelle, our bishop, and I went to represent Missouri conference. I was very busy and actually did not take my computer...just my Ipod Touch which worked fine, along with my phone. And then, of course, there's evaluation interviews, touchy weather, and Christmas and the fact I have mislaid my digital camera cord and cannot download pictures, including the really wonderful one of Caleb and his dreads---it really looks like he got really, really scared about something and all his hair stuck straight out from his head in thick clumps. He's is pretty darn cute, though.

And then there's Weston (that's a leetle-beety picture of it above). Our pastor at Weston has taken a call to an Assembly of God church and is leaving the Weston church as pastor as of December 30. It was, to say the least, a surprise to all. A week ago I went to tell the staff parish relations committee, then he announced his leaving Sunday, and, like so many times this fall (this is my fourth pastor to leave in the middle of the year...the other three part-times) I am figuring out how to make it to conference most effectively for ministry at this great church, in a fun town, with unique ministry opportunities. At the meeting in Austin, there were folks from Kansas East there, and lo and behold, I think we have a person about whom I had not known, living in my district, retired who will be GREAT, doing real interim work there. It's not all settled, but thank God I think it will be. It really has been a God thing. I ache in situations like this when a church, out of no fault of its own, loses its pastor. And I cannot really rest well until a pastor is found, and not just anybody, but the RIGHT one. And it one of the most satisfying feelings I get as a ds when we get it right!

And speaking of such things, a big shout-out to Rev. Gene Page, retired pastor, who is helping us out at North Street/Elmwood until annual conference! I am blessed!!!

A story about Baby Grace

Baby Grace is the ministry started by a couple younger UMW members at Buckner UMC in my district. In the past two years they have provided baskets that have been given to teen moms in the Fort Osage High school, and beyond. Forty four young moms have been helped both with items they need and with spiritual support.

I am deep into pastoral evaluations right now, and today I had my meeting with Robb Webster and we talked about Baby Grace. He said that one young couple have started attending worship and are planning for their future as a family. He is going to perform their wedding this summer--both parents have been awarded GEDs and the young man is hoping to go to the police academy soon. The young woman is also wanting to attend college. They are feeling loved and accepted at the church. Additionally the women are going to offer at least three classes this spring---a Bible study, a general parenting class, and one of the women who began the program has just found out that her son is autistic, and she is going to teach a class on that.

I think I wrote this before, but at least 4 other churches in our district alone have started their own versions of Baby Grace and I am so grateful how willing the Buckner women are to share their resources. A shout out to Ann and Julie in particular...I am so grateful.

Tomorrow is Gaudete Sunday, pink Advent Sunday, the Sunday for rejoicing in the middle of the watching and waiting. It is also the Sunday, in some traditions at least, where we hear the Magnificat, the song of Mary that proclaims the new age that is being ushered in by the coming birth of her son. Two verses of The Magnificat:

God has scattered the proud in the thoughts the proud in the thoughts of their hearts

God has brought down in the powerful from their thrones,

and lifted up the lowly;

He has filled the hungry with good things,

And sent the rich away empty

I am so proud of the Buckner women for making these words real in the life of many many young women and men and babies in their community, as they lift up, fill and magnify the Lord.

My Favorite Toys and My Favorite Brother

Okay, it is true that Sam is my ONLY brother, but that doesn't mean he can't be my favorite too. This entry is about Sam and Su and following your bliss. I MAY have written this same sort of entry sometime else in the last four and a half years, but at this time of the year, and in this kind of economy, it doesn't hurt to give 'em another plug.

My brother Sam was with Goodwill Industries for a long time, including several years as director at at two different regional systems in California before becoming CEO of Goodwill Industries International. After some restructuring there, he and Su moved to Carbondale where their son was in a residential school and Sam did administrative work there. Then when Courtney graduated, Sam decided to follow his bliss and open the toy store, My Favorite Toys at University Mall. It is a large store, with inventive non-high tech, but very high touch toys, old and new, some for little babies and some their great grandparents would enjoy and simply absolutely a fun place to go.

Su is marvelous with kids, and Sam loves people in general, and has very good business sense (I think) and they make people happy every single day. Sam especially likes the old toys, and St Louis Cardinals items. I like lots of things---the variety of dress-up hats, the Rosie the Riveter figurines, the jig saw puzzles, the arts and crafts items, the little finger puppets, the Groovy Girl dolls, and of course the St Louis Cardinals items. I buy small toys for each of the cabinet members for the first meeting after assessment week when we start making appointments so that they can use their toy to celebrate appointments that they approve of (a two inch wind up kangaroo, for instance, that flips all the way over) or to make their feelings known when they don't approve (a two inch pair of wind up walking shoes that you can point towards the door). Of course no one asks me to buy these, but I follow my bliss and get them anyway.

This toy store is a vocation for these two folks, if vocation can be defined as work through which you can delight God and serve neighbor. It is a very arduous work in many ways...I don't even like the think about the number of hours they work in a week. It is in our home town. And it is truly a good and joyful thing.

P.S. If you are within driving distance of Carbondale Illinois and end up at the store, tell them Susan sent you and ....well, I'm not sure there any discount involved, but I bet, as you look around, you'll end up smiling...

Another DQ account...

This was one of those very long ds days that your mama told you would happen if you ever became ds, given that your mama was a knowledgeable Methodist Mama like mine. Unexpected meetings tonight, four evaluations, another one on one meeting of great import, signing of invoices, okaying daily things that Barbara does for me, nearly falling asleep in one of my meetings, drinking gobs of water, making sure to get cookies to take to the office this a.m. before I left, and did I mention the meetings tonight? One of the things about this position is it's not really the amount of time you need to put into it to do it right that can lead to fatigue, but it's the intensity of emotions that you witness and experience with folks that really can tire even the truest extrovert (moi) out.

But a major highlight of the day was that the office threw me birthday party today. Our birthday parties in the office, just like every other party in our office consists of laughs and food. The food that was present for our party today was....DQ Ice Cream Cake Roll!!!! (I could not find a picture online of a DW cake roll so I settled for regular ice cream cake...) My FAVORITE cake....this one had pieces of Butterfinger candy bar, and vanilla and two kinds of chocolate ice cream. I love those things. And the best thing was that this was my second DQ Ice Cream Cake Roll in less than 24 hours!!! My family got me one for my celebration at home the night before!!! It makes me feel great that at both loci of my life--home and office--people know me well enough to bring my favorite cake...

Now how do we tie this in with Advent??? God revealed himself in his Son...and we await that revelation again. This Sunday will be Gaudate Sunday, Joy Sunday, Pink Sunday, when even as we still wait, we get a peak at the joy that will fill us on Christmas. God is like that, you know? There is often that foretaste of glory divine...that whiff of the gently wafting aroma that lets us know that something's coming, something big. For me today that foretaste tasted like oreo crumbs and dark chocolate ice cream. Thank you Lord, for the reminder.

A Drummer and a Birthday

Today was my birthday and after many delays, I did go to River Market Antiques late this afternoon to look for something mid century to put on my outside door. In my search, I came across this drummer. I'm not quite sure how old, but probably from the 60s at least. He was standing in a dark corner, his little animated hands going up and down. As I passed by, I gave him a glance and then as I walked a few steps on, I realized something was bothering me about this guy. I didn't hear a drum. He might have SEEMED to be playing a drum, but as I looked at him, I realized that his hands never touched the drum. The hands stopped in mid air about two inches above the drum head...over and over and over. It was kind of sad, really. Here he was, supposed to be a drummer and the mechanics wouldn't let him pat the drum. Did the manufacturer think it would be too irritating for whomever purchased him to hear the drum beat over and over? Did it have some kind of malfunction and he once COULD hit the drum??? I don't think this last is true, because the drum looked like it had not been played. Tis very sad to me.

It is my birthday and I always get a little melancholy when I think back over the year. Where have I gotten so close, but didn't get to hit that drum? When did I play the drum too loudly? When did I get it JUST RIGHT? When have the pastor and churches been too tentative? When have the pastors pushed too hard too fast? When was the only sound a visitor heard was a slow dirge instead of a marching band when they came to church for the first time? When was a hurting member surrounded with what felt like to her the heartbeat of God as her sisters and brothers in Christ enveloped her in their arms and that throbbing place in her soul faded away?

Just some thoughts on my 54th...I like maturing, I just don't like the arthritis :-) ( I also like snow days, but don't like to drive on snow)...SKCJ

A DQ Story

My very favorite drive through place is Dairy Queen. I was thrilled recently when I discoverd that if I go into Marshall on Business 65, there sits, yes a DQ between the turnoff and downtown Some of you who know Marshall might wonder how I could go there as many times as I have in the last four years and not notice the DQ. Well, you see, I still use Dick Curry's cards. Dick Curry's cards. you ask? Playing cards? No. Baseball cards? Wrong again. Tarot cards? How DARE you infer that Dick Curry would own a set of Tarot cards!!! (Dick was my predecessor as ds of HND and now is the assistant to the bishop). No, no. I mean the index cards upon which he wrote fantabulous directions to every one of the district churches!!! The only times I have gotten lost is when I forgot my cards. Forget Mapquest or GPS! I have cards!!! And, the way Dick describes going to First Marshall (and North Street t0o) is to go up to 20 and go downtown, which may indeed be shorter than 65 B. And if those directions were good enough for Dick they're good enough for me!

Anyway, I found the DQ three or so weeks ago when I had come over to a meeting at North Street in the evening. I decided to go back the way less traveled by (at least by me it had never been travelled by at all) and found the DQ whence I stopped at and planned to go through the drive thru. Therein was the problem. I could NOT find the drive through order thingy..round and round I went, with my wheel set just so and started to do my own version of a NASCAR race, but all alone. I finally just stopped at the pick up window and asked. The worker took my order and said, when I asked her where the drive thru order thing was, she said"it's back there" and moved her head in a northwesterly direction. Hmmm.

Well today, as I was driving into Marshall this new way, I remembered the DQ and I forgot that I did not know where the drive up ordering thing was until I started to look for it. THREE TIMES I went around and around and still no sign of a drive up order thingy. So again I just went to the window, and ordered, and when I asked about it, the young woman said, "Oh...you're supposed to go to the SECOND drive way on the side of the building instead of the first one."How in the world, I ask, with no signage and arrows or anything like that, was I supposed to know that? I was a first (and second) time visitor and I did not feel welcomed. If I were anything other than a die hard DQ fan, I very well might have given up either of these times. I felt like an outsider ...the implication is "well, EVERYBODY knows where the drive thru order thingy is...what's wrong with you???" What of the many who don't have the gumption to do what I did and ask, and who simply go to another place?

Well, I think you get the metaphor here. Don't assume everyone knows where things are or how to do them. Help folks feel welcomed. And for Pete's sake, don't just laxidasically point the way but go there with them. God did it for us; I imagine we can do it for the souls who pass our churches' way.

Cowgill's Quandry

Here are some pictures from the Ad Board meeting I attended at Cowgill on Sunday. There is a problem at Cowgill which is a backwards problem than the one we usually hear about in small rural or small town (declining in population) churches. In Cowgill's case, it isn't that the congregation can't reach out to their community, either because its so set in its ways or doesn't have the energy, that is NOT the case in Cowgill. Due to Don and Kristi Rohrboch and their active leadership in this church (which has an average age of well over 70), their enthusiasm for the Lord and their community, Cowgill has sponsored, over the last two years, after school tutoring, a VBS, Sunday morning breakfast for youth, and a Girls' Night In for any community pre teens or teen girls as a "self-image raising through faith" kind of an overnight. And this spirit has infiltrated some of the older members who are helping out with these things and realizing how important it is to meet the needs of the community as it is, not as it was.

So the problem??? The largest part of their building, the very pretty sanctuary, has serious structural damage. Estimates so far say that to repair it correctly would take $250,000. Our district is paying for a construction engineer to take a thorough look at both the sanctuary and fellowship hall. At this meeting on Sunday, the board members looked at the possibilities of razing the building and putting a metal building up that would enable the ministries that are needed there now. They thought about what it would be like to allow the fellowship hall to be kept but the sanctuary to be razed. And they were doing it openly and honestly. It is hard for folks who have been in the church all of their very long lives to think about this kind of change. I am sure some really want "to be buried out of this church" and they don't mean the fellowship hall. The church's amazing student pastor Amanda Ross is leading the church so very well--not following up behind, but LEADING.

Sunday, I stated that I believe that the building decision has got to be based on what the mission of the church is now. Cowgill needs Cowgill UMC. Especially the large numbers of poor who have moved in need Cowgill UMC. Some of those same persons and others two who yearn for meaning and love need Cowgill too. (BTW there is an interesting phenomenon going on on Sunday mornings in Cowgill...the Volunteer Firehouse has several families of their volunteer firefighters ,some with not much money at all, that gather there to shoot the breeze, and visit and share their week and, one woman at the meeting said on Sunday, pray....what can we learn from this???)

A church with ministry to do and that is energized to do more...I did sing to them, "We Are the Church" at the beginning of my remarks..."The church is not a building, the church is not a steeple, the church is not a resting place, the church is a people..." I am not sure about the direction this discussion will take...but I do know with certainty that God can do far more than we can ask or imagine. I'll keep you up to date!

From last year...

a poem I wrote with the first ice storm during Advent. I am not really very bleak this evening, but know others that are, and know at sometime this Advent I probably will be that way too....

Bleak Midwinter

We modernists know, it was NOT in the bleak midwinter
No matter what Ms. Rosetti wrote.
There were no parkas, no ice melt,
no chains for the camels in Bethlehem.
Bleak, it was though..
Bleak future for his countryfolk
Bleak father Jairus
Bleak sisters Mary and Martha
Bleak mother, that widow of Nain,
Bleak

Even now it is bleak outside my window
and sometimes inside my heart.
The ice falls, clattering on the frozen limbs
that crack and groan under a weight so wrong.
Limbs were not meant to bear such a burden.

All creation groans tonight.
Branches broken, bowed, barren
Ready to be thrown on a fire:
no blossom, no fruit:
Bent under burdens undeserved.
No self-will can melt it
No way to wish it away
But to wait, to wait
Cold, and more cold.

Do not rush too soon along this Advent journey
to anesthetize the wait with artificial light
that beams from the broken world
Bear the unbearable just now.
Wait.
Live with it a while.
The green blade riseth, yes.
But not till the moaning, the ice has lived out its life
And the crackle of the wind in the winter trees
Has turned, after the night, into a resurrection song.
So, for now, trees, hear the beauty, somehow,
that is the bleak moan.
Its lament, so deep a dirge,
is also the soundtrack for our journey towards eternity.

St. Nicholas Day #2

About 11:15, after Cana was home from her date and Caleb's friends were gone, I asked my nearly 20 year old and nearly 18 year old kids to come in so that I could read them this book....Santa, Are You For Real?, a book we used to read each year on St. Nicholas eve or day. And they came to my bedroom and I read it to them. And they listened and looked at the pages. Methinks that's because they love me so, and wanted me to have my own St. Nicholas gift...remembering this beautiful book is a gift and remembering that Jesus, indeed is why St. Nicholas was so very kind and why I love to tell about this wonderful man and his wonderful Savior.

St Nicholas --an example of Christ

It is Saint Nicholas day today, and that means in the Cox-Johnson households shoes were left outside doors and a gift and three gold wrapped chocolate balls were given. I was going to have a party today, but three different people who know me and love me told me I was trying to do too much, so we cancelled it. But St. Nicholas did apparently not pass over us; the picture is of Cana, a chocolate gold ball in her hand, and Mel...that's his eyes that are the two bright spots. We were trying to get him to play some more with the candy ball (remember, it was wrapped) but he became contrary when he saw the camera.

As you may know, Nicholas of Myra, bishop in the lat 4th century, was a good man who gave gifts, not when children were good, but when they were in need. The gold balls that are often seen in the hand of Nicholas in figurines and paintings represent three bags of gold that young Nicholas anonymously dropped down the chimney the house of a poor merchant whose three daughers would not have had the dowries for marriage... they would have not been able to find husbands and would have to had to turn to a life of prostitution, the story goes. ? I developed a St. Nicholas Festival as an intergenerational Advent event at Kirkwood, and we also hosted it at Canton, Community and Broadway. I had the basics "how-tos" published in the old Leadership in the Sunday School magazine put out by the Publishing House. There are all sorts of stories about Nicholas' care for younger persons, the many countries and many professions of which he is the patron saint (even dyers!) and about his imprisonment because of his steadfast following of Christ. There is a great website now that I wish had been available in 1988 when I first designed the workshop/event. The address is http://www.stnicholascenter.com/. Click and you can find out more.

Happy Saint Nicholas day!!!

One of the joys of my life....

...is being the mother of Cana Ruth Cox-Johnson. This year has been a year of growth and change for our socially very shy, quick minded, creative daughter. She has taken three courses a semester at Penn Valley CC and is set on going to law school. She knew more about the presidential candidates than anyone I know personally....and continues to knit, knit, knit, and a special joy, is a tremendous help around the house. In fact, as I write this she is mopping our kitchen floor while I sit in the Cabinet room at the conference center, waiting for the annual cabinet Christmas party to start.

Cana looks a bit like Mary, I think in this picture, though nearly 20 now, she would have been considered an old maid at the time of the birth of Jesus. She is dating a guy she has known for several years, is going out doing other things most weekends and has continued to work for her dad---and now for me (I do pay her by the task). What does this have to do with Advent??? You know, I'm not quite sure...maybe you all could tell me, but I just have had her on my mind today so strongly while we are apart, that I wanted to share.

Heartland North Day Apart

Here are pictures of our annual Advent Day apart for pastors in the Heartland North district at the great United Methodist conference center and camp called Wilderness in our district. We had 18 attend this year; Arlin Renfrow and Ginger Pudenz led a great Bible study and reflection on the life of John the Baptist. These events provide folks a chance to focus on the season (we do one in Lent, too) and to talk with each other about important things in a way that we might not have a chance to otherwise.

One of the learnings/new thoughts that I received during the day was when folks talked over the passage about John being jailed, and asking his disciples to go find out if Jesus really was the Messiah or was there another coming. Several pastors identified with John's ministry at this point--there are times for all of us when after experiencing an especially futile time in our ministry, we wonder if what we believed to be true when we first answered our call is really true. For John (although there are many different schools of thoughts about this) he seemed pretty certain that he believed Jesus to be the Messiah at the time of his baptism and in the gospel of John where he points out Jesus to his disciples and says, "behold, the Lamb of God." But by the time of his jailing, he had been at this proclaiming and calling to repentance ministry quite a long time. The Romans were still in charge (did John the Baptist believe that the Messiah would be the conquering son that so many Jewish folk were hoping for as they lived under occupation?); Jesus had not made a move to overthrow the government and now John was jailed. Someone remarked at the retreat that John wanted to make sure before he was killed that what he had been saying really was true--that Jesus was the chosen one, the promised one, who would redeem Israel. Jesus's reaction to John's disciples is not to tell them to buck up and have more faith in him; or to chastise John for his uneasiness. He simply told John's disciples to "go and tell John what you see and hear"...that the blind see, and the lame walk---signs that the Messiah had come.

I think that part of what the pastors were saying is that sometimes, especially in those times when your ministry in a church is not going well--perhaps the change you so very much want to see happen is rejected; or the church is so entrenched in doing things one way and are so resistance that you don't see how anything can happen that is new; or when someone in the church decides everything you do is wrong; or when you yourself have really messed something up and you cry with Paul "Wretched person that I am...!--- you do question your call, and the mission of your ministry of which you were once so sure. And this passage about John asking questions about Jesus's identity, and Jesus's response tell us that what we need to do, too, is to go straight to the source, in prayer, and ask...is what I am doing going to really make any difference in the end? Is it all a big fairy tale? How in the world could a person like me, who disappoints others and disappoints myself, ever do any real good for the kingdom...when we ask those questions of our God, most of the time what we will hear is the rest of that quotation from Paul: but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. We wait this Advent for Jesus Christ, and we unlike John, live on the other side of the mysteries of the atonement and resurrection and we know in whom we believe and are persuaded that he is able to keep what we have committed unto him against that day. Jesus will answer our questioning prayers and honor them with the love for us and the affirmation with which he answered John. Hang in there, one and all...Jesus is acomin' again.

BTW, on the entry earlier in the week on Dressing the House, I have now put lyrics on for the carol I mention that I hop are more easily readable. Thanks for all who helped me to realize the need to change it.

McDonalds and the Coming Lord

    Today for lunch, as I headed home I decided to drive through the McDonalds right by the office which was a mistake---both for the fat grams involved and because I was the recipient of "McDonalds Rage,"  a phenomenon that occurs only at ones with two drive thru lanes.  There is at least one rule at these two lane McDonalds...you MUST take turns pulling foward..the first one of the two to order moves forward first.  Which, in this case, was me.  However the rude young woman (probably 25-30 in biological age anyway) who was driving a large black SUV of some type decided she wanted to go before me, which would have messed things up.  As I realized she was cutting in front of me, I looked over after I was pretty sure I could pull in ahead of her, and she did that thing with her finger which, well, I don't see aimed at me, so to speak very often.  I ever the educator, rolled down the passenger window to try to explain to her McDonalds etiquette (thinking that most problems in the world can be solved if we just UNDERSTOOD what was going on and changed our behavior accordingly)  Another mistake.   She quickly rolled down her window and inch or two as I tried to speak, and then she very quickly rolled it up made another gesture with her hand and moved her head back and forth, illustrating me yapping at her (hard to describe the hand thing..but if you ever have let your hands talk to each other (what??? you've not????) that was the gesture she was making.  And then she did that finger thing again.  

This does not happen to me everyday.  I have not had one pastor nor anyone at a charge conference flip me off, if you will allow that crude statement.  Ever.  My first uncontrolled reaction was that I was hurt..really, and a tear came.  How could someone treat me this way?  My kids and I experience often, when we are together in the mall or walking down the street that when people of all ages approach me, they smile, even if there is absolutely no smile on my face.  It can be a bit disconcerting...I usually smile back, not because I have to but because I really like people and I want to.  Last night when I went to our eclectic Walgreens at 39th and Broadway an African American woman, middle aged, nicely dressed, turned around and saw me in back of her and said warmly, "Hi Mama"...I quickly realized that she has some mental condition that makes her sound much younger than she is so when I caught up to her, I said "Hi honey," which made her smile sweetly at me, and the conversation was over.

Back to the McDonalds Rage-- I got my food and headed out onto I 70 thinking I had left the young SUV driver in my past..but noooo.  About two miles down the road, a black SUV pulls up next to me and slows down and she gives me the nastiest smile and moved her mouth around to look at she was yapping, and then she pulled away.

Now, how am I supposed to react to this?  My first reaction after tearing up was "Father forgive her for she knows not what she does," but then immediately I thought that blasphemous, since Jesus hanging on the cross and me being treated rudely  at a McDonalds drive in really is not the same at all.  When she drove up beside me, I just looked at her with the best Cox-Johnson look of incredulous, perplexed amazement that someone could be so rude.  Especially to me.

And then later, as I tried to come to some sense of settledness about this I simply said to myself, "Come, Lord Jesus"  And thank God he does.

Quelle est cette odeur agreable...

Which is translated in many ways including Whence is that goodly fragrance flowing? It is one of my very favorite Christmas carols. Here are the words to the first verse:

1. Whence is the goodly fragrance flowing,

Stealing our senses all away,

never the like did come a-blowing,

Shepherds, in flow'ry fields of May,

Whence is that goodly fragrance flowing,

Stealing our senses all away.

An very odd looking video with a stunningly beautiful-sounding boys's choir version of this in French is found at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWzOKaA8hN8

I have sung this gorgeous thing at least once while with the Masterpiece Chorale in Belleville Illinois 25 years ago this Christmas in English. I remember translating it for my former husband to sing in his senior recital at Scarritt while he was working on a masters degree in choral conducting, when my French was MUCH better than it is now.

Although I love metaphor and need not have it explained for it to touch me, I will admit that I have wondered what that goodly fragrance flowing is too. Or in another translation, which I really like better, what is that fragrance gently wafting? Flowing or wafting, what the heck is it?

There surely are lots of fragrances flowing and wafting in my house these days. Some lovely ones: Baking cookies; Cana's hair just after being washed; the perfume that I love and once in a while remember to put on; the candles throughout the house that have names like "Cinnamon Apple" and "Forest Green"

There are some other candles too, special ones. The ones in our Advent wreath. As I believe I wrote on Sunday, I did not have the candles ready to be lit Sunday morning, the first time in years I hadn't gotten that done. But did by supper! In the morning, I lit a World Market candle, fragrance name "Indonesian Teak" since I was a little late (!) getting out the door and that was the first one I found. For some reason, I decided to forgo the white taper in the middle this year this year, and just use that Teak candle as the Christ candle. That's our wreath in the picture.

What was the fragrance gently wafting from Christ?? Unwashed body and clothing certainly have a distinct fragrance, more likely, odor, at least for us sanitized Westerners... the fresh smell of the out of doors? The fragrance of tears of those healed still lingering about him; the dirt on his hands from making clay for the blind man, and drawing on the ground in the presence of the woman caught in adultery?

For me, the Indonesian Teak (the Christ Candle this year)is the fragrance of spice, of mens' cologne, of masculinity, a very pleasant fragrance...and perhaps the fragrance I need right now...so when it comes to light it on Christmas, it will be the familiar fragrance of several candles I have in the house of the same "flavor" but it will be distinctly its own, for it is Christ's candle, and he beckons me to enjoy and say "it is good."

Dressing the House

When I was a child at home, my parents never put up the Christmas tree until after my birthday on December 10. Any ealier and it would have been "rushing the season." That phrase is not one we hear very much anymore. Over the weekend, starting Saturday, I began to put Christmas decorations up in my new place. 'Tis a grand space to decorate!!! Even though I have cancelled the Saint Nicholas party, I have gone all out with the Saint Nicholas theme. I also put up the 7 foot pre lit artificial tree, all of this with by former spouse's help. Every ornament I own I put on the tree this year--it just seemed a good way to celebrate my new home and all of the wonderful folks, mostly folks from one my churches, over the last 31 years who gave me ornaments to remember them by, and I do---each ornament I unwrap, I still can remember who gave to me..which is a minor miracle considering how my short term memory has left me for another planet the last couple of years (some call it a hazard of this ministry I am doing right now!) I am still trying to get all the decorating finished, but those darn charge conferences and other ds commitments are getting in the way...hard to know where priorities lie sometimes! (that was a joke, I think).

I am at the moment trying to get Cana to download a picture of our tree that she just took, since, surprise surprise, I can't locate the cord that links my camera with the 'puter. (We both rejoice...IT WORKED...sort of!!!)

I ran across an Albert Burt carol tonight that I have never heard before. I hope that as you go about your own decorating, whatever it is like and whenever you do it, that you are able to settle into the beauty of the space you are creating, the home you are making, in order to welcome our Christ again. Here are the beautiful words of the carol I found:

WE'LL DRESS THE HOUSE

We'll dress the house with holly bright and sprigs of mistletoe

We'll trim the Christmas tree tonight and set the lights aglow;

We'll wrap our gifts with ribbons gay and give them out on Christmas day

by everything we do and say; Our gladness we will show.

We'll dress the table daintily, Our finest treasures use.

That all a-sparkle it may be and bright with lovely hues;

Then for the feasting we'll prepare a kitchen full of wondrous fare

hat each from all the dishes rare; His favorite one may choose.

And ye who would the Christ Child greet, your hear also adorn

That it may be a dwelling meet for him who now is born;

Let all unlovely things give place to souls be decked with heavenly grace

That ye may view his holy face; With joy on Christmas morn.

First Sunday in Advent 2008

I have had a pretty neat first Sunday in Advent. For the first time in years, I had neglected to purchase candles for the wreath, so I let a candle, Indonesian Teak small pillar from World Market and pretended during breakfast. I was able to get candles today, so now I am legitimate.

I had two charge conferences today--one at Hale, one at Carrollton-both good. I love all my churches, but some simply feel like "home" for me. Hale is one of them...the furthest away of any of the churches, it took me 2 hours and 10 minutes today and I was booking it. The church has about 85 in attendance regularly, and has several community ministries going. My day was made when I heard a good First Sunday of Advent sermon (Monty Montgomery)--who is an expository preacher. AND we sang "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" and three other hymns. Today, because of the weather and holiday, there were around 60 present---17 of whom are children under 10. The children there are obviously used to being in worship--no children's church would work here.

One of the most poignant moments for me was during the prayer request time. There were prayers for the sick and grieving lifted, one scary story about a teenager who wrecked her car on "dead man's curve" and there was a man whom I had not met before who spoke a request. He has a severe speech impediment and for me was totally impossible to understand. The pastor and congregation listened patiently and Monty said "I think I got some of that ,Vernon." Later during the potluck (YEA!! POTLUCK !!! Really--I love them) I was standing with Monty and Vernon came up and asked a question ...I had no idea what he said, but Monty said..."that's right Vernon, I think we do have some calendars left..."

The First Sunday in Advent is all about keeping watch...Christ will come again and it will happen when we least expect it. We need to be faithfully alert. Being alert means that we listen for the sounds of Christ's coming...sounds like children rustling papers in worship, and a small town church singing so well, beckoning Christ, the joy of longing hearts, to enter our lives again; the sound of people laughing in the kitchen while bustling around to get a meal ready; the sound of man who to many in unintelligible, but who is attentively listened to and respected. And I think about the hymn I am studying for Advent:

Watchman, tell us of the night,

What its signs of promise are...

One of those signs is that the church reflects the coming Son through living now the values of the kingdom. How blessed I am to have so many of my 63 churches be churches that are signs of promise of hope and faith,

It's Time for To Start Baking! Prayer

Here's a prayer I wrote as I start baking for Christmas tonight:

God of all creation, who has created us as beings who yearn to shape and mold our world for good, I begin it again tonight..another season of Christmas baking, early, this year, because of my former husband's 50th birthday this weekend, and the Saint Nicholas party in two weeks.

Thank you for people for whom to bake; for the resources I need in order to purchase ingredients; for years of baking experience through trial and error; for recipes from Mother and magazines; for a great new kitchen in which to bake (an upper AND a lower over...count them, 2!!) and the energy to do this thing I enjoy and which brings others enjoyment as well.

I pray beginning tonight:

to continue to bake, but not so much that I grow too tired;

that my mind and memory will not betray me ("did I already put in the baking soda or not?")

and mostly that this process of cookie and candy making--from making lists of ingredients to buy all the way until the last cookie is eaten or given away--be a sweet offering of praise to you. In Emmanuel's name we pray, Amen.

Watchman Tell Us....

I have a new plaything--an Ipod Touch. I have been assembling my playlists for Advent--I also am working on one for Christmas Sacred and Christmas Pop/Secular. So far on the Advent one, I have everything from the Montreal Gospel Choir singing "Walk in Jerusalem Just Like John" to the Brentwood Jazz arrangement of "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" to Enya's "O Come O Come Emmanuel" to Common Destiny's "In His Time" to Aaron Neville's "Banks of the River Jordan" to Vaughn Williams arrangement of "Ye Watchers and Ye Holy Ones"and LOTS of solo piano. Rio Clemente's veerryy woofy arrangement of "We Shall Behold Him" (if you can't be woofy on that one, then you can't be woofy on anything) is my favorite. And lots more--so far 33 in all.


I searched on Itunes for an arrangement of "Watchman Tell us of the Night" that was a little more edgy than another British choir recorded in a stone cathedral --of course that is beautiful but I like to hear the traditional done unexpectedly well in another genre. What I found purusing through Itunes was that there are SEVERAL hymn tunes used for these words. Traditional hymns are often set to already established hymn tunes---the one used for "Watchman" of our hymnal is named Aberystwyth ---Welsh of course. It is also the hymn tune used for "Jesus Lover of my Soul." This tune sounds like the words---we are waiting in the night, and we sing in a minor key, wanting someone to assure of us of coming light. During Advent which starts in about 10 days, I will covenant to write an entry every day again this year. I hope to write a poem soon, in response to the lyric of "Watchman". It was really not until tonight as I thought about Advent hymns that the words really struck me...


Watchman, tell us of the night,

What its signs of promise are.

Traveler, o’er yon mountain’s height,

See that glory beaming star.Watchman,

does its beauteous ray

Aught of joy or hope foretell?


Traveler, yes—it brings the day

Promised day of Israel.


And here is the tune (note the classical tune and the tatooed arm of the player...I love it):

Connie and Serendipity

And then there was tonight. This one will take some explanation.

If you have been reading my blog, you know I am using Marty Stuart's life and a special story he tells as the devotion at the charge conferences this year. Marty is a hillbilly rocker who has not left that behind but has brought it with him to his gospel work, especially the Soul's Chapel album from 2005. Some of you may even be getting sick of my Marty Stuart stuff, but here comes some more so get ready.

Nick Kindred, our pastor at Oak Grove who had heard my Marty Stuart story last Sunday (which includes Connie Smith) emailed me yesterday to tell me that Connie, one of the queens of country music and wife (yes, an older woman) of Marty Stuart, was giving a concert at the newly refurbished Palazzo Theater in Oak Grove (it was the Sundowner before) tonight. I reserved a ticket and showed up for the second show and it was great. But before I left home, I typed out a letter that I thought if I got bold enough, I would try to get to Connie to give to Marty that described how much his story has meant to folks and how I have received so much from it as well.

There was a slim crowd at the second show, probably no more than 100. The show was just great; she sang many Bill Anderson songs, some more recent recordings, and asked for requests from the audience. This is a picture I took tonight at the concert. Connie has that deep-down-throaty-catch-in-your-voice-style that is pure country and so very strong even at 67. And so pretty. And such a cool jacket.

After the show, she did come to the back of the theater to autograph cds and pictures and say a word to folks as she signed. I hung back, knowing now that I could probably get the letter to her. I was the last through and she sat on a stool across from me at a small narrow table. I looked at her intently and said, "I need to talk to you." She wanted to hear what it was. And I briefly told her her who I was, that I was using Marty as an example in the charge conference devotions along with Souls Chapel. Well, that's great she said...or something similar. And then I told her which story I was telling about him, a moving story of a Godly redemptive gift he had received, and when I told her that (I just said the Pops Staples guitar story and she knew what I meant) she got tears in eyes, and I handed her the letter...She took it patted it and told me, obviously moved, "I'll give it to him justas soon as I see him...but it'll be a few days..he'll be in off the road in a week." It's not at all that I want reaction from him, really, I just want him to know how his sharing of a personal story with hurt and shame in it, as this one is, has made a difference in others' lives. (Sorry to be so secretive about more detail of the story--I am not being cute, I just want to tell it at the charge conferences and they are not over yet.)

I have been wanting to find a way to let Marty know about this, but could only locate a fan-based myspace that he has and a booking contact. And here Connie shows up in a town in my district, and I am able to go to the concert and hand her this letter. This serendipity stuff is just happening everywhere to me lately...Anne Lamott gives her definition of coincidence as "God working anonymously." Only thing is, all of the things that have been happening "coninkadinkally" as my kids still say, have the Unseen Hand of God written all over them. Another mixed metaphor but you know what I mean. Wow.

Smorgasbord and Auction at Lawson

Now this was a FUN event! Held yearly for 14 years, I think, this is a major fund raiser for the Lawson church. I decided to go this year, and the first thing that was a pleasant surprise were all the cars in the Lawson Community Center/Gary Ryder Auction place. And then coming into the building...it was packed, with food lines, people at tables eating and LOTS of silent and live auction items. I did bid some, and was happy with my newish three tiered glass plate thingy; the three beanie baby teenie bopper dolls; and a gorgeous hand made table cloth made by one of the Lawson saints who has passed on. Gary Ryder and his wife Gail are very active members at Lawson, and he was the auctioneer...and a better one I have never heard. That's Dennis Hisek (Wilderness Conference Center director and active member of Lawson UMC) holding up the weather vane that is being auctioned off. It was a great community effort, lots of work for all the members of the church, supported by other UMC churches around, and just a really good time.

First of Three Make-Up Blogs

Here is the first of three make-up blogs, and I don't mean make-up as in Revlon. I have been a busy ds bee the last three weeks; not only charge conference, but getting around to the churches to some really neat events (of course, charge conference can be neat too). This picture is of good St. Peter (Blue Springs) women on election day in front of the "goodie table" for voters entering and exiting the church on election day. This is something they have done for several years and one of the neatest things is that after Pastor Megan Sly shared this at district conference and in the conference newspaper, at least three other district churches did this as well. Sharing smiles and cookies and other sweet delights really is a show of radical hospitality. Thanks St. Peter!

My Sunday

A very good day to be the Heartland North DS. If I told you everything that happened, it would take until next Sunday. Two charge conferences today---At 1, at First Excelsior Springs, with Lawson and Todd's Chapel as well. At 4:30 at Broadway Plattsburg, with Holt, Lathrop, and Turney also there. I attended worship at Excelsior and Lawson this a.m, both uplifting services in different ways. Today I sang Come O Thou Traveler Unknown in one service and East to West by Counting Crows in the other. Not to mention singing Victory in Jesus two times (one in each charge conference) and mutitudinous songs on my CD player in the car. Between the two charge conferences, I followed Kevin Buckrucker (I was so blessed to have him at both ccs) to his home where I was able to relax and chat with he and his wife Beth. Good times. A very nice turnout at both charge conferences. Oh, and I also listened to Marty Stuart's Way Down in the Bottom of Your Heart (you can find the love of Jesus) two times, once at each cc.

There were many neat things about today. One of the neatest God-moments for me happened in worship at First Excelsior Springs. As many of our churches do, that church has a prayer shawl ministry. The shawls are made, in most places I know, for those in special need, like ill and grieving, or even for those in the military overseas. At Excelsior today, they had three shawls laid out, and asked three persons come up front who were to be recipients. I am not sure of all their situations, but I know that at least two of them have places in leadership in the church and they were receiving their shawls because of that. They were prayed over by the pastor Jonathan Cooney (gee, what a great pastor and preacher)...I think that this happens regularly, I am not sure if it is every week or not, but I just found it very uplifting that leaders of the church were receiving these prayer shawls which represent being cloaked in the love of God by prayer. They will either keep them, or give them away to someone else in need. Linda Cooney, spouse of Jonathan, is the organizer of this ministry. The photo above is the picture I took after worship of the three recipients plus Linda who is on the left.

The story does not end there, though it could and be a neat story. Next, I went to Lawson for worship following Excelsior's service, made a quick dash to KFC and then back to Excelsior for the charge conference which was really fine. After the conference, Linda Cooney came up to me and wanted to talk. She told me that for some reason that morning, she did not know why, she brought four prayer shawls from home, even though they were only going to do the three presentations. But for some reason, she felt led to bring four. She said that she had come to the realization that that fourth shawl was for me...the color, a gorgeous blue, one of my colors, knitted by Linda went around my shoulders then. And the ministers present, along with Dennis Hisek (what am I saying??? He is a minister too!) and our district lay leader Kevin, prayed for me as I knelt at the altar rail...Jonathan offered the prayer aloud. The shawl is beautiful to look at, and it smells good too! Linda puts them away with sachet until they are given. The other picture is of me after I got home (bent by fatigue but wrapped in God's love!!) with my shawl.

Hey, God is good. And the beautiful moments of his grace that have hit me over the head over the last two days, some of which I will probably share here, have renewed my spirit.

Thanks to every single persons present today and to their pastors, including our two lay speakers at Todd's Chapel. Wow!

Mona and the 5 Practices

For lunch today, I had a half of a ham salad sandwich on white, some tortilla chips with ranch dip and punch, concluding with snickerdoodles for dessert which I ate as I drove along A and then 116 to get back to the interstate and listened to Cypress Avenue on the radio and the strangely wonderful Tom Waits. This was my lunch because this morning, I had a charge conference at the church pictured here, McBee Chapel UMC. This church fellowship was established in 1888 when quite a few more folks lived out south and east of Braymer. There is fairly large and well kept cemetery out back (the church is well kept as well). This is the first church closing I will have seen from beginning to end. I was able to answer most all of the questions, and they (about 10 folks) were able to make decisions around their bank accounts, property inside the church and membership of those on the rolls. The great thing is that the cemetery association wants the church and will maintain it as a place for special worship experiences like homecomings and will continue to be a community gathering place. It was a VERY congenial meeting today. They decided not to have a special closing worship service (they are officially closing on Dec 31) but will use their traditional carols and candlelight service just before Christmas as their last worship service. There were of course some tears today but these farmer folks are realists and understanding the turning of the seasons. I am so glad they are going out well---and that they are making good decisions. We held hands and prayed together at the end of the meeting and then adjourned downstairs for the above mentioned lunch. There were cheese and egg salad sandwiches too, and coffee available.

But what I have not said yet is that although I arrived in Braymer at 9:40 with about 15 minutes yet to travel to this country church for the 10 am meeting, I did not arrive at the church until 10:50. Because (and not for the first time) I got lost going to McBee. I had called the very faithful lay speaker who has spoken twice a month there for 14 years, Ray Anderson, early this morning to get directions. The directions he gave me were correct. However, I did not follow the last road (Carroll County RD 160 I think) as far as I should, and thus began my increasingly frustrating meanderings up and down Elkton Road, Pleasant Hill Road, Carroll County Roads 101, 106, 105, and KK and C Highways. I knew Ray did not have a cell phone and anyway there is basically no coverage south of Braymer, I finally headed back to Braymer to find our pastor there, Barron Willer, to lead me out. When I got closer to Braymer coming from the south, I heard a beep and there was a voice message from a woman named Mona who said she was at McBee Chapel, was a member and they were afraid I was lost. It was quite foggy this morning. But that was no real excuse. I got hold of her and she had me drive back down A and wait for her at a crossroad. She was driving a dirty (my car is one ball of dust right now as you can imagine) white pick up, which is her description and had a cattle watering tank in the back. I told her it looked beautiful to me. And she led me to the church, where people were very nice to me, blamed my error on the fog, and then had this very sacred and congenial meeting.

Mona is Lyman McBee's daughter and Joe McBee's sister. I knew it as soon as I saw her in the cab of the truck even though I don't think I had met her before. I would guess her about 40 and she has a very lovely smile. And her act of kindness to me, I think exemplifies all 5 practices of a fruitful congregation. Here is what I think:
Radical Hospitality: Obvious here. But she went the extra mile of tracking down my cell phone number through the First: Braymer congregation.
Passionate Worship: She certainly instilled in me heartfelt and very honest prayers of praise to God when she said, "just stay at the crossroads and I will come lead you here."
Intentional Faith Development: I learned today (as I learn way too often) that I am a fallen human being. But I experienced the grandness of God's grace when I arrived at the church and everyone was so nice. I wouldn't have made it there without Mona
Risk Taking Mission and Service: Coming out in the fog in that pickup certainly was risky today, and coming out to find a wayward d.s. was certainly a mission and service as far as I am concerned.
Extravagant Generosity: Mona acts as treasurer of the church, and even after she had to go out and get me, she (and the others there) acted in very generous ways as they discussed missional uses of their remaining accounts.

I had people tell me afterward that they had heard "horror stories" about church closings, and were so grateful to me. Who they should have been grateful for was Mona and her spirit. But I did say thank you.

How I Spent My Halloween Evening...

I spent it in the parking lot of Wellington UMC at the Trunk or Treat. I went as my alter ego, Mel's Mom, with black cat ears and eyebrow-penciled whiskers and nose. I also decorated the Prius's trunk with really cool pumpkin lights that I got on sale at Walgreens today. We had about 75 kids through from pretty princes to scary death masks. I gave a kid extra candy who had a skeleton mask that from time to time dripped fake blood (inside the mask) through some kind of a trick in the mask. I believe Jill, the pastor, told me that last year they received one family into the church and baptized two children because they had experienced the love of the church for the community's children through this event.

In the pictures, the lady with the Mad Hatter hat is Jill Daniel the pastor (and piano player extraordinaire.) Others are lay folks from Wellington (and Napolean too I think) The girl in the big band hat is Porsche, who has served on PPR as long as I have been ds here, and is now 17. The lady bug baby was darling, though real lady bugs are infesting many places around the district right now so it was good to be reminded that they can be cute, too. Especially when the lady bug is as beautiful as this child. All the children were quite beautiful tonight. However, when I asked the trick or trunkers, when they came to my plastic pumpkin candy container, what their trick was, they looked at me like I was speaking another language. For years I have asked T or Ters to tell me a joke as I handed them candy. And they have. Apparently this is not a custom in Wellington. Proving again, dear pastors, learn the culture where you live. Ah, always a lesson to be learned!

Liberty Community Chorus

I am really liking this Liberty community chorus thing. Tonight at rehearsal I experienced some extremely lovely moments that took me to that transcendent place that only art can.

First of all, we are singing exquisitely beautiful music. It does not get any better than Robert Frost poetry set to Randall Thompson composition. The concert, which will be performed on Monday November 24 at Liberty UMC (contact me for tickets!---there is a cost, sorry) has the theme Music Down In My Soul and although not all is sacred music, all the music does hold much, much truth. Gorgeous.

Second, it truly is a community choir. In the soprano section, there are several trained voices, some wobbly older voices, some obvious church choir members (some from Liberty UMC who are very nice to me), and a few folks that simply love to sing, but haven't had much choral experience. Tonight, an older woman who is one who fits into this last category, turned around and unabashedly asked my row neighbor, who has an incredibly beautiful voice and I would consider our section leader if we had such things, what a coda was. And my row neighbor took the time to explain it to her in a very non-patronizing way. Way neat.

Thirdly, there of course is Bryan Taylor, whom I have offered accolades here before. He is technically a great choral conductor. I have sung with many, many choral conductors in my life and what sets Bryan apart is not only his great sense of humor, but also the exquisite little metaphors and similes he uses to teach us how to sing. Tonight a couple of these word pictures really touched me. One was while we were rehearsing the Schindler's List songs included in the concert--one in Hebrew, one in Yiddish, and one where we simply "ooo" while the orchestra will play. We, meaning me, are not having an easy time with pronunciation. We know the music pretty well, but we can't seem to get the words right and we sound pretty timid and unsure of ourselves. Bryan asked us how many snow skiers were present...several raised hands. He then asked those there who had skied (I have not and don't ever plan to, thank you very much) to think about what it was like the first time they skied...how hard it was to trust that if they leaned forward and got the feel, that they would not fall every time and to trust that stance was the only thing that would allow them to ski. He told us just to trust, to have confidence and sing that Hebrew. We actually were lots better after he talked about skiing.

Then, in a very beautiful small moment, while talking to the sopranos about being more ethereal in our sound on a certain piece, he said that we needed to be the wind on which the bird could rise (his exact words)...no, there was no bird in this particular song. But I just love that picture. The wing beneath my wings sort of thing, but less cliche in a way. I think that really is a good illustration for ministry...that we who are leaders should be empowering of others so that they may rise to that place where they must go, where God calls them...in fact for dss, it is a good image, that we provide motivation, and confidence, and courage and open the way for creativity to flourish in pastors and churches, being God's instruments of lift and movement in a ministry of servanthood. I like it.

I also really like the Liberty Community Chorus experience.

A Shout Out to Jill....

Today I was under the weather and did not make the first charge conference that was scheduled...I did make the second one, at Napolean---Wellington and Orrick were there too. We have been singing at most charge conferences this year the hymn Victory in Jesus. That is a hymn I have sung all my life.

When we got to the place tonight in the devotional time when I usually have us sing, I realized quickly I had not checked with pastor Jill Daniel if there were someone to play and just as quickly realized that Jill herself played and boy, did she play. Full out Southern Methodist! ! Wow!!! That's really all I have to say...just WOW. And the singing was mighty good too!!!

Counting Yard signs

Caleb and I just now counted the number of Obama and McCain yard signs we saw in the five mile stretch between our condo (45th and Jefferson) and his school (79th Terr and Main). This is an upper middle (Brookside) to lower middle (Waldo around school) area. We did not see any yard signs like this one in the picture. We DID see 41 Obama signs and 2 McCain signs. And one Ron Paul sign.

Cookie Questing and Becoming Comfortable with What I Have

Anyone in my family can tell you that I am a sucker for Christmas cookie magazines. I started buying them many, many moons ago, when only a couple came out about this time of year. I have always been on the lookout for new and exciting cookies to bake---I lean toward chocolate of course, and lemon and raspberry and nice looking ones that don't take much work. Every year over the last three decades I have sat and I pondered the pretty cookie pictures and I mark the front of the magazines with page numbers of the ones I want to try.

So far this year I have bought two cookie magazines, and I have tried one recipe. Peanut-butter, chocolate dipped shortbread cookies. Sounds good, but they really weren't all that good. Fact of the matter is, it's been five years since I really baked a new cookie that I liked any better than any I already had. So....either as a sign I am getting old or that I have come to a happy cookie place or that in some ethereal cookie way, I just realize I've gone about as far as I can go, I think I am done with trying new cookies unless one positively jumps out at me when I am stuck in the grocery line looking at a cookie magazine. So this year, I will make:

Pecan Tassies (maybe....My mother's recipe)

Shortbread Stars (from Fannie Farmer cookbook, probably acquired 20 years ago)

Raspberry Foldovers (from a magazine eight years ago or so)

Chocolate Raspberry-Crumb Bars (from a magazine eight years or so ago)

Maybe Rosettes (made with my mother's rosette iron...I didn't make them last year for the first time in maybe 30 years...a LOT of work...but with only 18 charge conferences, I may have strength enough to try again...)

And Starlight Surprise Cookies (actually I made a batch today...hence the picture above of a Starlight Surprise cookie)

Starlight Surprise Cookies have nothing to do with an outdoor theater here in KC of the same name (not Starlight Surprise Cookie Theater, just Starlight Theater). These cookies come from a recipe my mother made since I was a little girl...she would use Starlight Chocolate Candies---wrap a rich, wonderful cookie dough around one, put a "pecan meat" (as she would say) on top, bake and eat. Except even in the recipe book she made for me when I got married, she had stopped using Starlight Chocolate Candies and started using a little section of a Hershey candy bar. But we (I say we, because when I make these cookies, my mother is just over my right shoulder, which is where she shows up when her spirit senses that I need her or that it would just fill out my life more to have her present) still call them Starlight Surprise Cookies.

Cookie making and Christmas just go together for me. I think I have been invited to a cookie exchange in Corder this year, which I hope to get the date for soon and go to. But I think I may stop looking quite so hard for new recipes ...I won't become an old "stick in the dough" or anything, but maybe I will place my cookie quest energy into asking folks whose cookies I eat for their recipes if I really like their cookies instead of making Better Homes and Gardens and Pillsbury richer by buying magazines. Maybe.

Being the Mission

Today Paul Borden, author of Hitting the Bulls Eye and Direct Hit led a day of training for the district superintendents of Missouri and others who had been invited. He has had tremendous success in rebuilding churches and starting new ones and is widely respected. Our conference has taken the model that he offers and transformed it into what we are calling the Healthy Church Initiative, which our conference congregational development staff person Bob Farr works tirelessly to promote because of his earnest desire to see the church of Jesus Christ flourish in its embodiment in Missouri as the United Methodist Church. I have heard Rev. Borden before; this time I was even more taken with his deep commitment to turn churches around and to bring the "lost" to Christ. I put "lost" in parentheses for those reading this who would want me to do so. ;-) It is not this commitment to church renewal that I struggle with when I hear his approach. It is something else. I think I have a real rubber-meets-the-road ecclesiological difference with him, which I felt safe in voicing aloud today, and felt heard and respected.

I really cannot completely articulate that difference and don't want to start taking potshots... I am tired of hearing potshots being taken...(what is a potshot anyway?...please, don't ask Caleb !!! He might enlighten us in ways I would rather not hear!)

I will lift one thing I heard today that represents that ecclesiological difference is when I heard him say, "we need our churches to adopt a missional approach to ministry and give up a relational approach." I listened carefully to hear what he meant by being a missional church. What he means, I think, is that each church needs to be very sure of its mission---and then make the hard choices to align all its ministries with that mission. Know your mission, be able to articulate it, eliminate everything that does not contribute to that mission, add only add new ministries that do contribute to the mission.

So far, so good. Sort of at least. But to say that the opposite of missional in this sense even is relational is where I have a real issue. It may be that it is his definition of missional with which I struggle. One of the contribution that the emergent conversation has made and can make for us is that it articulates what a "missional" church is quite a bit differently. It isn't so much that a missional church is a church which has a mission statement, or a that mission a thing out there that everyone buys into; emergent folks will tell us that the church IS the mission. The church, in the way it goes about living the communal life, or in the way it approaches the community is supposed to be the embodiment of Christ, is simply by being and stiving to be a community already has its mission. Think, perhaps, less We've a Story to Tell to the Nations and more They'll Know We are Christians By Our Love....not so much lovey dovey as what I really mean is "they'll know we are Christians by the way we live". Now that doesn't mean the church sits around missioning all over everybody that is already there, but it does mean that it is as much about being as it is about doing. I realize some will say that is a false dichotomy...but when we become busy about many things and do not always attend to the inner life; or when the linear "hit the bulls eye" way of defining church is the totality of what drives and defines our mission as a church, I don't know, friends, but I guess I miss the mystery somehow....if we believe that God can do abundantly far more than we can ask or imagine (yes, many of you know I DO have a favorite scripture and this is it) can we both recognize, as Wesley would have us, that we need to ) set goals and move toward those goals as a church, while declaring that indeed, "if we want to make God laugh, tell him our plans"? This is a very basic thing about how we are going about doing/being church right now that occupies my thinkign and leading and I am willing to live with the ambiguity.

I am so grateful for the kind of determination I see in a faithful man like Paul Borden. He always gives the glory to God for what good he is doing. His heart is so impassioned by the gospel that that is what drives him. I want to stay engaged so that I can articulate better how he pushes me to define my own ecclesiology which is quite different from his. For that engagement, I am grateful.