I cannot believe how long it has been since I last blogged! However, I have still been keeping up on everyone else's blogs quite faithfully. Although you wouldn't be able to tell by my lack of commenting!
In any case, I am ready to try again. I did start a new blog at www.raisingmybutterfly.blogspot.com. I hope you will visit me there!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Please vote for my cousin!
One of our local radio stations is offering a Mega Wedding on February 12, 2010, and my cousin Candace and her fiance Matt were chosen as one of the four final couples!!!!!! We are all super excited...they have been engaged for awhile with no wedding plans yet, so this would be awesome for them. They also are wary of spending money on a big wedding, but they totally deserve it.
Oh, and I'm even more excited because Candace asked me to be a bridesmaid this morning! :)
If you have a minute or two and wouldn't mind voting for them, I would be so grateful. Voting just started this morning and goes through January 17 at 9pm.
Thanks in advance!
Here is the info:
http:y98.com/pages/6063876.php
You can vote online as many times as you would like - Couple #1 Candace and Matt
THANK YOU!
Oh, and I'm even more excited because Candace asked me to be a bridesmaid this morning! :)
If you have a minute or two and wouldn't mind voting for them, I would be so grateful. Voting just started this morning and goes through January 17 at 9pm.
Thanks in advance!
Here is the info:
http:y98.com/pages/6063876.php
You can vote online as many times as you would like - Couple #1 Candace and Matt
THANK YOU!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
The holidays are never easy, are they? Butterfly has been ALL over the place these past few days. No matter what we try she is just a mess. There is just so much going on, and no matter how much we try to shield her from it at home, it's coming at her from every other direction. But we'll survive. Tomorrow I have the day off to be home with her. I think we'll start out by making a Christmas card for BirthMom. She doesn't want to talk about her much these days at all, but I know it's still in there.
I was watching Fox News this morning and was so sad to see a woman who was trying to get their adopted son taken away by the state. She found knives under his mattress and a note saying he was sorry he had to kill her. Scary and devastating. They mentioned RAD along with numerous other problems. So sad. They will be in my prayers.
Best of luck to all of you this Christmas! I hope your little darlings handle it all as well as can be expected! Can't wait to catch up with everyone's blogs in the New Year! (assuming I survive the visit with the in-laws. haha.)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you find peace and love this season!
I was watching Fox News this morning and was so sad to see a woman who was trying to get their adopted son taken away by the state. She found knives under his mattress and a note saying he was sorry he had to kill her. Scary and devastating. They mentioned RAD along with numerous other problems. So sad. They will be in my prayers.
Best of luck to all of you this Christmas! I hope your little darlings handle it all as well as can be expected! Can't wait to catch up with everyone's blogs in the New Year! (assuming I survive the visit with the in-laws. haha.)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you find peace and love this season!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Progress?
Butterfly has been taking her supplements for nearly two weeks. Any changes? Maybe, kinda, sorta, not really.
The first week she was FANTASTIC. Call it the placebo effect. She was well-behaved, loving, understanding, sweet and just all around nice. She listened and followed directions. No breakdowns, no yelling, hitting or screaming. Just a genuinely sweet girl who was excited about the thought of getting better.
Then Saturday came and she was a little cranky. Sunday came (along with St. Nick's Day), and she was a little crankier. Which, we of course expected since she was getting presents. She has stayed pretty consistent the rest of the week - a little crabby, but quick to get herself back together. Also quick to apologize when she know's she's been hurtful or disrespectful.
So, while we didn't expect these supplements to be a quick fix, they have resulted in some improvements. Now, whether they are actually working already or B just thinks they are, I don't know. However, I absolutely will not complain. Her behavior has been great compared to the last few months, and I expect far worse around the holidays. So, I know the bumps in the road are going to start popping up very soon, that's okay. I am very impressed with her ability to recollect after a problem, and acknowledge what she did wrong. Big improvements!
Regarding Dr. D - we didn't find him. Our therapist recommended him based on recommendations she had received from other clients. I have found that chiropractors tend to be the better resource for getting a hair analysis, as our pediatrician doesn't seem to be a believer of the whole thing. The website for the lab that did the analysis is www.arltma.com. Not sure if this will help, but maybe they would know of someone in your area that does this? Also, I had no idea fish oil helped kids with their concentration. We will have to give it a try!
The first week she was FANTASTIC. Call it the placebo effect. She was well-behaved, loving, understanding, sweet and just all around nice. She listened and followed directions. No breakdowns, no yelling, hitting or screaming. Just a genuinely sweet girl who was excited about the thought of getting better.
Then Saturday came and she was a little cranky. Sunday came (along with St. Nick's Day), and she was a little crankier. Which, we of course expected since she was getting presents. She has stayed pretty consistent the rest of the week - a little crabby, but quick to get herself back together. Also quick to apologize when she know's she's been hurtful or disrespectful.
So, while we didn't expect these supplements to be a quick fix, they have resulted in some improvements. Now, whether they are actually working already or B just thinks they are, I don't know. However, I absolutely will not complain. Her behavior has been great compared to the last few months, and I expect far worse around the holidays. So, I know the bumps in the road are going to start popping up very soon, that's okay. I am very impressed with her ability to recollect after a problem, and acknowledge what she did wrong. Big improvements!
Regarding Dr. D - we didn't find him. Our therapist recommended him based on recommendations she had received from other clients. I have found that chiropractors tend to be the better resource for getting a hair analysis, as our pediatrician doesn't seem to be a believer of the whole thing. The website for the lab that did the analysis is www.arltma.com. Not sure if this will help, but maybe they would know of someone in your area that does this? Also, I had no idea fish oil helped kids with their concentration. We will have to give it a try!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Hopeful
I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Ours was perfect....I'm still shocked. A quick recap:
Butterfly was off on Wednesday and my husband stayed home with her. They cleaned the house and B finished her placemats that she was coloring for family members. On Thursday, I cooked all day, hubby watched football, and B helped set the table and watched Tinkerbell. We also went to the nursing home to visit my grandpa. When we got home we sat down to a perfect Thanksgiving dinner - just the three of us. We had fun together, laughing and enjoying our meal. Afterwards, we went to see The Way of Lights - a big light display at the Shrine just down the road. We came home, had dessert, and B went off to bed. Patrick and I watched Four Christmases and went to bed, as I had to be up at 2:30 am for Black Friday!!
Friday, I did my shopping and B went off to Drama Camp for the day. That night we ate leftovers, watched Up, then went downtown for a Community Sing-a-long and the lighting of the Christmas tree.
Saturday, B was back off to Drama Camp to try out for the role of Jesus in Godspell, which shockingly, she didn't get. :) Patrick and I went to see New Moon then to buy our Christmas tree and to lunch. Such a relaxing day, and I love spending time with my husband. We picked B up from camp, came home and B and her daddy played Monopoly while I cleaned the bedroom.
Sunday, I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Patrick and I then wrapped Christmas presents while B played. Patrick and B played another game of Monopoly while I ran errands. When I got home, we decorated the Christmas tree then had a pizza party and played Monopoly.
Pretty boring weekend, right??? It was FABULOUS. It was quiet and relaxed and dare I say, NORMAL. We all got along. We did things together. There was no yelling and no hurtful words. It was exactly what all of us needed. We all dreaded Monday.
And Monday did not disappoint. B woke up and with absolutely no provoking went off into a full RAD rage. Patrick and I handled it well and sent her off to school. I picked her up early so we could go to her chiropractor to get the results from the hair analysis. On our hour drive, we talked about things that happened in the morning. Then she started in on her same old story that other kids have better parents that do more for them. I let it go. Then she asked if I took a lunch break at work today. I informed her that I did not and she asked why. I explained that I had to leave work four hours early to pick her up from school and take her to the doctor so I wasn't able to take a lunch. She thought for a minute and then said "Thank you for using some of your vacation time to make sure I got to go to my doctor."
We got to the doctor's office and boy was it interesting!!! Here's what we learned.
Her Calcium and Magnesium levels are off the charts. Her cells are not absorbing these minerals at all.
She has low sodium and potassium levels, but higher potassium than sodium. This can cause anger, bad tempers and irritability. The low ratio can often lead to hostility.
Her high calcium/magnesium ratio and low sodium/potassium ratio are often associated with chronic stress.
Her indigestion issues can also be related to her sodium/potassium inversion as it is indicative of an excessive stress situation.
It is also not uncommon for an individual with a severely high calcium level to suffer from low self-esteem. An elevated calcium level literally causes chemical depression of the cenral nervous system.
She also has high levels of lead and aluminum. Both can be passed from parent to child. These are found mostly in brain cells, and are blocking her brain cells from working correctly. Lead can come from cigarette smoke (birthmom smoked through the entire pregnancy), lead paint and lead pipes (BM is from Europe and things are very old there). Aluminum can come from vaccinations, drinking from aluminum cans and using aluminum cookware.
So, the doctor prescribed three supplements - one to deal with her immune system, one to help with digestive issues and another to detox the heavy metals. He also gave us Celtic sea salt to use daily, and a new diet for her to follow.
I don't know if it will work, but I am very hopeful that this will be what we need. For so long, we feel like we have hit a wall and all the therapeutic parenting in the world can't get passed it. Her anger has been such an issue, and I am so hopeful that these changes will help break through that.
Butterfly is nervous, yet so excited about all of this. She is also very hopeful that these supplements and diet changes will help her. She is ready to change, but she struggles so much and as hard as she tries she just can't.
Our therapist highly recommends this, and has noted numerous clients having a lot of luck. So fingers crossed that this will be another thing to help in the healing process!!!!
And now, I am off to the dentist. My absolute least favorite place...
Butterfly was off on Wednesday and my husband stayed home with her. They cleaned the house and B finished her placemats that she was coloring for family members. On Thursday, I cooked all day, hubby watched football, and B helped set the table and watched Tinkerbell. We also went to the nursing home to visit my grandpa. When we got home we sat down to a perfect Thanksgiving dinner - just the three of us. We had fun together, laughing and enjoying our meal. Afterwards, we went to see The Way of Lights - a big light display at the Shrine just down the road. We came home, had dessert, and B went off to bed. Patrick and I watched Four Christmases and went to bed, as I had to be up at 2:30 am for Black Friday!!
Friday, I did my shopping and B went off to Drama Camp for the day. That night we ate leftovers, watched Up, then went downtown for a Community Sing-a-long and the lighting of the Christmas tree.
Saturday, B was back off to Drama Camp to try out for the role of Jesus in Godspell, which shockingly, she didn't get. :) Patrick and I went to see New Moon then to buy our Christmas tree and to lunch. Such a relaxing day, and I love spending time with my husband. We picked B up from camp, came home and B and her daddy played Monopoly while I cleaned the bedroom.
Sunday, I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Patrick and I then wrapped Christmas presents while B played. Patrick and B played another game of Monopoly while I ran errands. When I got home, we decorated the Christmas tree then had a pizza party and played Monopoly.
Pretty boring weekend, right??? It was FABULOUS. It was quiet and relaxed and dare I say, NORMAL. We all got along. We did things together. There was no yelling and no hurtful words. It was exactly what all of us needed. We all dreaded Monday.
And Monday did not disappoint. B woke up and with absolutely no provoking went off into a full RAD rage. Patrick and I handled it well and sent her off to school. I picked her up early so we could go to her chiropractor to get the results from the hair analysis. On our hour drive, we talked about things that happened in the morning. Then she started in on her same old story that other kids have better parents that do more for them. I let it go. Then she asked if I took a lunch break at work today. I informed her that I did not and she asked why. I explained that I had to leave work four hours early to pick her up from school and take her to the doctor so I wasn't able to take a lunch. She thought for a minute and then said "Thank you for using some of your vacation time to make sure I got to go to my doctor."
We got to the doctor's office and boy was it interesting!!! Here's what we learned.
Her Calcium and Magnesium levels are off the charts. Her cells are not absorbing these minerals at all.
She has low sodium and potassium levels, but higher potassium than sodium. This can cause anger, bad tempers and irritability. The low ratio can often lead to hostility.
Her high calcium/magnesium ratio and low sodium/potassium ratio are often associated with chronic stress.
Her indigestion issues can also be related to her sodium/potassium inversion as it is indicative of an excessive stress situation.
It is also not uncommon for an individual with a severely high calcium level to suffer from low self-esteem. An elevated calcium level literally causes chemical depression of the cenral nervous system.
She also has high levels of lead and aluminum. Both can be passed from parent to child. These are found mostly in brain cells, and are blocking her brain cells from working correctly. Lead can come from cigarette smoke (birthmom smoked through the entire pregnancy), lead paint and lead pipes (BM is from Europe and things are very old there). Aluminum can come from vaccinations, drinking from aluminum cans and using aluminum cookware.
So, the doctor prescribed three supplements - one to deal with her immune system, one to help with digestive issues and another to detox the heavy metals. He also gave us Celtic sea salt to use daily, and a new diet for her to follow.
I don't know if it will work, but I am very hopeful that this will be what we need. For so long, we feel like we have hit a wall and all the therapeutic parenting in the world can't get passed it. Her anger has been such an issue, and I am so hopeful that these changes will help break through that.
Butterfly is nervous, yet so excited about all of this. She is also very hopeful that these supplements and diet changes will help her. She is ready to change, but she struggles so much and as hard as she tries she just can't.
Our therapist highly recommends this, and has noted numerous clients having a lot of luck. So fingers crossed that this will be another thing to help in the healing process!!!!
And now, I am off to the dentist. My absolute least favorite place...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Disturbing
Yesterday, Butterfly's school had a Veteran's Day program and were asked to invite any veterans to attend. My husband, a veteran of the Air Force, went to the program. B seemed very pleased that he was there. When I picked her up from school she was completely out of sorts. Everything was an issue. She played games with her homework, and I stuck to the rules that we had come up with. She continued screaming, yelling, hitting and throwing things as I put her in her room. At that time I found out she was upset that I didn't go to the Veteran's Day program. I explained I wasn't a veteran but she said I was a veteran to her. I tried to explain what a vet is until I realized that no amount of rationalization was going to get through to her. She then said how sad she was by a song the 4th graders sang that talked about people dying and she doesn't like that. I empathized the best I could.
She kicked the dog and tried to punch him in the snout. I ended up putting up the baby gates in the doorway of her room, as I didn't want to her to hurt the dog or myself. I sat at the kitchen table and began working on a presentation for class Thursday night. Butterfly screamed at me the entire time. I wrote down what she was saying as it was so bizarre, I wanted to be sure I remembered it correctly. She said the following:
"Don't come in here or I will hurt you. I will bite you and kick you and hit you. I will kick you in the privates. You don't want me to hurt you. One time I hurt a boy named Caleb so bad that he was screaming bloody murder. And no one knew I did it but it happened in preschool. And only his parents knew I did it and they said that it better never happen again or we couldn't play together anymore. But it happened again. I hurt him again and his parents were out of town and no one knew about it. You only know because I'm telling you. And then I threw up on him and you would throw up too if I told you the rest of the story."
I just let her get it all out. And it isn't the hurting me part I find so disturbing. It was her attitude towards the dog and the story she told. I assume it was all made up. I called her grandparents who she lived with during preschool to see if they remembered a Caleb and they do not. I think she got the name from the A Safe Place for Caleb book.
I'm just at a loss. I don't know where this all came from, and don't know what to do.
She kicked the dog and tried to punch him in the snout. I ended up putting up the baby gates in the doorway of her room, as I didn't want to her to hurt the dog or myself. I sat at the kitchen table and began working on a presentation for class Thursday night. Butterfly screamed at me the entire time. I wrote down what she was saying as it was so bizarre, I wanted to be sure I remembered it correctly. She said the following:
"Don't come in here or I will hurt you. I will bite you and kick you and hit you. I will kick you in the privates. You don't want me to hurt you. One time I hurt a boy named Caleb so bad that he was screaming bloody murder. And no one knew I did it but it happened in preschool. And only his parents knew I did it and they said that it better never happen again or we couldn't play together anymore. But it happened again. I hurt him again and his parents were out of town and no one knew about it. You only know because I'm telling you. And then I threw up on him and you would throw up too if I told you the rest of the story."
I just let her get it all out. And it isn't the hurting me part I find so disturbing. It was her attitude towards the dog and the story she told. I assume it was all made up. I called her grandparents who she lived with during preschool to see if they remembered a Caleb and they do not. I think she got the name from the A Safe Place for Caleb book.
I'm just at a loss. I don't know where this all came from, and don't know what to do.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ready for a Vacation!
Oh, my. It has been a crazy couple weeks. I will try to keep it to short updates, otherwise I just know I will start to ramble.
1. After Butterfly stole the teacher's candy the week before Halloween, I thought we could move on. Hahaha. The following week she stole more candy from the school social worker, stole makeup and hairspray at home, and stole candy off her teacher's desk that apparently was hers. AHHHH. We've found some ways to deal with it at school. Fortunately, the principal isn't suspending her because she meets with our therapist and knows it isn't any help. They've been doing some other things though, that seem to be working.
2. Halloween she actually did quite well. I only allowed her one piece of candy that night, and she handled it with no breakdowns. Granted my mom had so much other food that night, I'm sure B didn't feel too deprived.
3. We met with the chiropractor on Thursday. We didn't really accomplish much that day. They took a hair sample and sent it off for an analysis. Apparently, in RAD kids they find a lot of metals in their systems which are causing issues in their brain cells. Dr. Dinkelmann has found that once this is addressed through supplements, then RAD kids show vast improvements. I'm so willing to try anything. We have our next appointment on November 30. They should have the results from the analysis at that time. I'm excited to see what they find. He also looked at her eyes and said that if there are toxins in the body you will see a black line around the eye. B has one. My mom and I were checking ourselves out in the car, but didn't notice anything... :)
4. B and I spent all day together on Saturday running errands. She actually did a great job. We went to Home Depot for the kid's workshop, and she made a trivet for Thanksgiving dinner. We also went grocery shopping, clothes shopping for me, to lunch and to the bookstore so I could get some homework done. We were trying to steer clear of the house so my husband could have some quiet to get all of his homework finished. B only had a small almost not even an issue when we got lunch at Chick-fil-a. We had never eaten there, and she thought they were cheating her on chicken nuggets because she had decided they were too small. But she got it back and check and was lovely to spend the rest of the day with. When we got home, it was time to rake leaves in the front yard. We have two huge oak trees in our front yard - they are at least 60 years old. Anyways, our entire yard was covered, and only 1/3 of the leaves have fallen already. Super. Luckily, my dad let me borrow the leaf blower, so I blew the leaves while Patrick burned them in the street, and B had a blast jumping in the gigantic piles.
5. Sunday was Patrick's birthday. We went to church, then breakfast while B was at Sunday School. Afterwards we went home to finish burning the leaves. B had a meltdown because she didn't want to help pick up sticks while we were working in the yard. I put her inside and had her rest and take a nap. I knew she had to be tired from being good the entire day on Saturday, but I also wasn't letting her ruin her dad's birthday. Later we went to a movie and out for ice cream. Then after that, to my parent's house for a birthday dinner. We all had a nice evening, and B did a good job of holding it together. She shot me a few dirty looks through dinner, but stopped after I addressed each one and explained how unnecessary and inappropriate it was. It was a nice, relaxing evening.
6. I also called my dear MIL on Friday night. She wanted suggestions for Christmas gifts for B. We decided we just mostly want them to give her money to go towards supplements for B. It turned into a 1 hour conversation where I told my MIL everything she didn't want to hear. And as always, I know she didn't hear a word of anything, but I just don't think it's fair that she lives her happy life in denial about what is wrong with her granddaughter. So she got an earful. Even my mom was surprised by some of the things I said. Anyways, she is trying really hard to think of ways that she can help Patrick and I but she just can't think of anything to do to help. She will try to remember to pray for us. Oh, and when they finally called to wish their son a happy birthday, my MIL blamed Patrick for being too stressed and causing all of B's issues and problems these last couple weeks. Happy Birthday!
7. Finally, honestly the reason we NEED to have consequences for homework is I don't know. We've tried not to have consequences, and we can't do it. Some days we do it okay, and some days seeing her not doing her work just sends us over the edge and we end up yelling which is counterproductive. So, this way we don't have to get worked up because we can just look at our rules and we all know how homework is supposed to go. It actually has taken a lot of the stress off for all of us. As always, I have no idea how long it will last, but I'll enjoy it for as long as it does!!
1. After Butterfly stole the teacher's candy the week before Halloween, I thought we could move on. Hahaha. The following week she stole more candy from the school social worker, stole makeup and hairspray at home, and stole candy off her teacher's desk that apparently was hers. AHHHH. We've found some ways to deal with it at school. Fortunately, the principal isn't suspending her because she meets with our therapist and knows it isn't any help. They've been doing some other things though, that seem to be working.
2. Halloween she actually did quite well. I only allowed her one piece of candy that night, and she handled it with no breakdowns. Granted my mom had so much other food that night, I'm sure B didn't feel too deprived.
3. We met with the chiropractor on Thursday. We didn't really accomplish much that day. They took a hair sample and sent it off for an analysis. Apparently, in RAD kids they find a lot of metals in their systems which are causing issues in their brain cells. Dr. Dinkelmann has found that once this is addressed through supplements, then RAD kids show vast improvements. I'm so willing to try anything. We have our next appointment on November 30. They should have the results from the analysis at that time. I'm excited to see what they find. He also looked at her eyes and said that if there are toxins in the body you will see a black line around the eye. B has one. My mom and I were checking ourselves out in the car, but didn't notice anything... :)
4. B and I spent all day together on Saturday running errands. She actually did a great job. We went to Home Depot for the kid's workshop, and she made a trivet for Thanksgiving dinner. We also went grocery shopping, clothes shopping for me, to lunch and to the bookstore so I could get some homework done. We were trying to steer clear of the house so my husband could have some quiet to get all of his homework finished. B only had a small almost not even an issue when we got lunch at Chick-fil-a. We had never eaten there, and she thought they were cheating her on chicken nuggets because she had decided they were too small. But she got it back and check and was lovely to spend the rest of the day with. When we got home, it was time to rake leaves in the front yard. We have two huge oak trees in our front yard - they are at least 60 years old. Anyways, our entire yard was covered, and only 1/3 of the leaves have fallen already. Super. Luckily, my dad let me borrow the leaf blower, so I blew the leaves while Patrick burned them in the street, and B had a blast jumping in the gigantic piles.
5. Sunday was Patrick's birthday. We went to church, then breakfast while B was at Sunday School. Afterwards we went home to finish burning the leaves. B had a meltdown because she didn't want to help pick up sticks while we were working in the yard. I put her inside and had her rest and take a nap. I knew she had to be tired from being good the entire day on Saturday, but I also wasn't letting her ruin her dad's birthday. Later we went to a movie and out for ice cream. Then after that, to my parent's house for a birthday dinner. We all had a nice evening, and B did a good job of holding it together. She shot me a few dirty looks through dinner, but stopped after I addressed each one and explained how unnecessary and inappropriate it was. It was a nice, relaxing evening.
6. I also called my dear MIL on Friday night. She wanted suggestions for Christmas gifts for B. We decided we just mostly want them to give her money to go towards supplements for B. It turned into a 1 hour conversation where I told my MIL everything she didn't want to hear. And as always, I know she didn't hear a word of anything, but I just don't think it's fair that she lives her happy life in denial about what is wrong with her granddaughter. So she got an earful. Even my mom was surprised by some of the things I said. Anyways, she is trying really hard to think of ways that she can help Patrick and I but she just can't think of anything to do to help. She will try to remember to pray for us. Oh, and when they finally called to wish their son a happy birthday, my MIL blamed Patrick for being too stressed and causing all of B's issues and problems these last couple weeks. Happy Birthday!
7. Finally, honestly the reason we NEED to have consequences for homework is I don't know. We've tried not to have consequences, and we can't do it. Some days we do it okay, and some days seeing her not doing her work just sends us over the edge and we end up yelling which is counterproductive. So, this way we don't have to get worked up because we can just look at our rules and we all know how homework is supposed to go. It actually has taken a lot of the stress off for all of us. As always, I have no idea how long it will last, but I'll enjoy it for as long as it does!!
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