I feel that my time trickling away. Yet I am in such great inertia. I see no future but I am still in it. I am afraid to change, to dream, to charge ahead. I want to be in charge. I want to change things around. But i do not know if I am willing to sacrifice that much.

I make life difficult for myself.

confusionism.

the art of leading a confused life yet staying saint and being socially acceptable. AH CRAP

Maybe i shouldn't have agreed to go nxt yr. I think its making things complicated. And prolonging something not v promising and possibly cynical.

I can't be your mummy's boy forever. One day I have to come out and leave.

I didn't know about the existence of the stats function. Interesting function. O well have left the blogging scene for ages. Find it pretty pointless if I can't or rather, simply do not really have the courage to verbalise my thoughts truthfully. Been offering snippets of my life that is has always been politically and socially correct and chucking everything else inside. shove and bury.

Monotones. I need to transform and progress. But the resistance is immense. How ah. Some of my friends said that I have actually been changing for the better over the years. but its always the downs in life that makes u feel v bad about yourself and somehow disgustingly become contagious. You start to paint the worse pictures of other aspects of your life. EMO. Haa.

Sleep. Work. Repeat. 应该就是这样了吧。

咖啡淡了 是因为冰块溶了
没怎么了 淡了就是淡了
搁在桌上还要不要

不再爱了 是因为感情坏了
你怎么了 坏了就是坏了
没有什么大不了
我们不快乐
快乐后不再快乐
就在最后的一秒
抱了 吻了 哭了
快乐不快乐
没什么快不快乐
就在最后的一秒
我们的关系 就这样了

天亮醒了 是因为心情好了
没怎么了 我会爱上另外的人
爱情 大概都这样了

I know i m going to regret it tmr. Like excuse me its 1am now and I am still not sleeping.its always a song that makes me wan to blog. this time its this one!

出发
真的要丢掉昨天的不快乐
真的要把过去放在角落
必须 往前走
必须 学着让自已成熟

有风有雨的路前面还有
要怎么选择属于我的生活
站在 原地不动
或者 叹息年华易老

出发到另一个新的地方
生命的过程就像一篇故事
记住我曾经那样的为你心动
记住我的梦想我的努力我的真心

出发到另一个新的地方
不能永远抓紧回忆不放
该面对的总要坦然的去面对
不该是我的终究还是要让它自由



I realised our voicebox producing sexy voices are so freaking essential as a pharmacist. The nagging cough has been irritating the hell out of me. I have been avoiding dispensing unless they really need ppl.. and i have no voice to shout life scripts as typist or to do the necessary bossing n chasing of scripts as a FM. 1st day as FM was quite a disaster for me..but haha it was fun in a stressful way. o well. mayb i shld jus pack n pack. tts the only role that does not require talking.

when ur boss actually read ur facebook status and actually respond to it via sms u know u really really cannot anyhow type things/express urself on fb anymore. so i m back here. ha.

prereg has been alright. been blessed w a slow start giving us much time to adjust and now with my preceptor back from her 3 wk honeymoon, i can feel the heat alr.

alot of things happened/happening to my family members recently.. to be specific health problems.. my grandma my cousin my aunt.. although i think i m in capacity as a health care professinal to help sometimes i think i never do enough or sometimes i jus have the selfish mentality or prob jus dun take enough effort to probe n step in to help. i feel frustrated abt how things thing out, yet i dunno its because its beyond me or simply becox i din bother to initiate anything or offer a helping hand n more imptly to be vocal enough to sound out that and point out HEY this is not the way to take care of her! or HEY HOW can u reduce her meds lydat!

i dun have the courage to voice out, what more to face the repercussions of my actions. it sucks to see the adults do the wrong things like kids n here we have to pretend we are the kid n do nothing when obviously sth is wrong.

i shld jus mind my own business n get sleep. 730am tmr. conclusion i m selfish.

Vanila Twilight - Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here