Haven been feeling good the whole of this week... feeling abit depressed + v tired.. watched Bruce Almighty today. I loved it man! It certainly uplifted my spirits quite a lot! I was laughing thruout the whole movie almost from the beginning to the end.. the whole of this week I didn�t really laugh so whole heartedly lor.. and there�s also lesson to be drawn from in this movie.. so felt really good after that. Jim Carey is real hilarious and good man! He�s the best! Theres going to be liar liar this sun on channel i.. think I going to watch it again.. =P Anyone who is reading this n haven caught Bruce Almighty I tell u this is a must-watch movie.. forget about matrix if u�re thinking of catching that first� this is more worth ur money n time =)

Hmmz tmr is the last band pract of this term.. but not our last final band pract coz I think we are forced to play for band fiesta in july.. so band�s not really over yet..

Dun feel like blogging liaoz� mite be going to sleep soon..

If one�s mood or emotion is represented by a sinusoidal curve, den my mood today must be at its peak of minimum point.. felt really horrible today� dowan to say why.. looking forward to school tmr though.. most of the time makes me feel better after lame jokes or pranks from cheery classmates haha� sounds pathetic.. shucks I have tons of uncompleted tutorials tho.. managed to clear my maths discrete tut though =) so quite okie la.. there are so many good shows tonight.. matrix 1, gladiator, etc etc.. think I gonna catch gladiator later..

Regretted taking too little photographs for capriccio� still have like 1 or 2 more pix den the whole film can be send for developing..

Tmr is jingwen�s birthday.. happy birthday to my angel�

Hmm I think I just can�t get enough of fan yi cheng�s piano and chu ci zhi wai.. kept replaying it.. maybe shld go check out his cd..

Looking forward to 4-8 class outing in about two weeks time.. now like nothing to look forward to liao� sianz� hmm maybe soiree and inspirations?.. still contemplating whether to help string play the triangle just for one piece.. like abit duh� hahaha see how..

wow i have not blogged for ages man... listening to the recordings of the pieces that we performed at vch last night...not our live recording la..just the cd version ones.. shucks i dunno why i think i am going to miss having band practs... felt abit sian now that both our concert n syf is over..WadS wrong with me huh =P??! maybe its like nothing to look forward to except to going home everyday to study..now no more excuse liao.. haha i felt weird n in fact abit empty when there isn't pract today.. is not that i am very close with the band ppl..in fact i hardly know them at all and often will feel left out one..only close to my section and few other ppl.. perhaps i miss the music (or some ppl call it noise haha) and my section?

wAhz i realised that i am quite lucky to be able to play in VCH after joining band for only about 1 year.. my band senior was complaining yest.. but i was really super tensed for the 1st two pieces...the 1st one because it was the 1st...the 2nd one coz i always have had problems with that piece...n i abit off in fact yest... haha jingwen said i looked fierce.. lucky thing was that i didn't blush..haha its a good feeling to have classmates n friends supporting.. thanks for coming for those who came..well erm i did have a good time playing the triangle haha..

mr leng was so funny n sporty yest.. could tell that he was quite happy yest.. we helped him celebrated his 34th birthday on stage hahaha.. he's real cute n funny guy..according to the girls..coz many was asking if he's married..lol hahaha he's nice la... he's a good conductor as well.. =) .. I got evryone in my section this puny bottle with a msg inside...den i think accidentally broke one of junior's bottle...so guilty... sorry senghan.. must make up for u next time..arghz my parents were blaming me for not giving them tix to go watch band concert.. ayez its not as if ur son is some bigshot...so i see no point in letting them go..?

watched X men with huiyu and weiping on thurs...think both me n huiyu had half the mind of going home den we just sympathised with weiping coz he was so enthu n eager den nobody else in the class wanted to go with him haha.... mainly becoz he wanted to go town n buy pressie for his band ppl for the concert.. i didn't regret la.. it was a nice show...! glad to watch it b4 it closes.. its real cool better den matrix.. iceman so cool lor.. how i wish i could chill my drinks whenever i want to drink it.. like storm also.. huiyu lost her wallet n only realised it the next day morning.. luckily according to her there wasn't much mooney n impt stuff inside...

had the stupid entrepeneur seminar today..i was dragging myself to school today lor..kept falling asleep during the talk n joaling had to keep reminding me JT is around.. was quite impressed by the last group's presentaation whicih grapped eveyone's attention... their style was pro n comprehensive la.. they won in the end... went to SIM for lunch after that.. den went home n sleep...... wanted to go swimming one coz the wether's perfect for a dip in the pool but i slept thru the afternoon n evening..haha

hmm i replaying the recording again........

watched matrix today with kenvin and kc after band pract.. wondered how come band ended early today at 4 but in the end also delay until 5.. sorry la yiting n the rest i couldn't wait.. i think it takes ages for our class to have an successful class outing.. n the possibilty like not v high.. anyway it was not as "wow" as i thought la... there was lot of talking n i almost fell asleep for at least twice.. but no doubt moves were impressive and stylo.. quite cool..there wasn't much plot development actually i think..but i think its still worth watching la.. ate and crapped + talked alot at the food court after the movie stayed till about 10 den go home..

haha this is not good...

Haven blogged for quite a few days.. hmm let me organise my thoughts first.. had a fun bio pract on wed.. we dissected a rat! hope I am not getting saddistic but I think william is..haha.. Initially I was not exactly positive about it coz had quite an bad experience last time in sec4.. that time during a teacher�s demonstration of rat dissection.. he used a rat that was much more alive lor.. it was still WARM and SOFT as it was not really dead yet but just put to sleep I think�den when he opened it up.. u can really see the heart still beating and slowly getting slower and finally stop as he tried to pried open more parts of it�so cruel!! Fortunately we were given cold and stiff rats that looked n felt vv dead.. I was quite amused about how we made a fuss about selecting the rats we want to dissect.. nobody wanted rats with eyes open and yellowy stuff(shit) at you know where.. haha it was quite interesting la.. me and weiping managed to keep the whole process blood free� unlike william.. which had the rat�s organs bathed in a pool of blood lor.. he even ripped off the head and broke the skull(eekS) and took the brain out.. I was quite surprised when he said he didn�t get any nightmare during these few nights..

Shucks I really think the band is running out of time man� and I really think we dun really sound okie� dunno in time to put up a good performance next Friday or not.. hope we can make it.. I was struggling through my part on weds practice.. I think everyone was lar for that particular piece then I wanted to practice today but too bad the score with my conductor so felt quite boliao to practice for other parts coz they all are practice b4 or quite easy or dumb to practice.. k shall not say too much wait u all dowan to come for concert liao..

Didn�t manage to go out or watch xmen or matrix or ktv on vesak day.. rested at home, watch tv and did some work la� so at least during tutorials today I wasn�t stonning.. it certainly feels good to have done my tuts haha� hope I will switch into mugger mode soon.. like wad yf says �evolved� into super mugger.. but I want to watch matrix first! Haha..

Ayez tmr still got bio lect� still on plants�think I m going to be super sianed or sleepy again.. the good thing is it starts at 8.30 instead of the usual 8am. half an hour more to sleep =P

think i am beginning to like this drama serial call xin xian ren in chU.. it is about mental patients one.. got 3 characters in the show..one has Alzhemiers, one has stealing tendencies and the main character(Stephen Fung) think was like abused when young or have v bad n torturous childhood... den is about wad they experience..their problems, how ppl see them n how their families cope n everything la.. v interesting n v different from those typical chinese drama serials.. think psychatrist really a great job.. can have a chance to understand n help these ppl..but defintely not a easy task..

i think i cannot even finish probability1 today...shucks...argh...

I feel that this is very true of me...or more true..


THE INDIVIDUALIST
Enneagram Type Four

The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
(The Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders)

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"


Profile Summary for the Enneagram Type Four
Healthy: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. / Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong. At Their Best: Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

Average: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination. / To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. / Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.

Unhealthy: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. / Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. / Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely.

Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer".

Got the link from huimin's blog...


Free Enneagram Test

THE HELPER
Enneagram Type Two

The Caring, Interpersonal Type:
Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
(The Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder)

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
Basic Desire: To feel loved
Enneagram Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
Enneagram Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"

Healthy: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere. / Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving � a truly loving person. At Their Best: Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in their lives of others.
Average: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing", becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly. / Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others � wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill. / Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

Unhealthy: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is. / Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors. / Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others.

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

didn't manage to watch Xmen today.. maybe going to give it a miss since matrix is coming out next week. i definately will want to watch matrix first..den no time for xmen liao.. just found out that there will be band pract from mon to thurs next week... yar we having pract on public hol...thats mad lor....gimme a break man! n i feel so dumb today lor..i like nv play anything proper today except for practising the j2 item in the morning.. was slacking or stoning or crapping in the afternoon when the sc nominees conducted the band so that we can select the next batch of SCs.. so sianz...abit regret going band today haha..there wasn't proper practice..feel so fei..k i shall stop complaining..

k i really need to conc and do some serious work tmr.. going out for dinner tmr..eh i din buy anythiing for mother's day..feel bit guilty but i have planned to buy her sth on her birthday(which is like quite soon) that shld be able to make up for this time..

i just realised that i could have spent abt 100 bucks lesser if i bought my hp like one week later...freekO lor.. i shld have have been more patient..

i feel like going ktv again hahaha...

feeling much better and more normal today =) hope wp they all also okie liao..

bought another ji mi's book called yue liang wang ji le.. hahah i read finish even before reaching home.. and i dun really understand haha.. think i will read it again soon..hmm interesting...yf bought the the dunno wad ji mi chang ge n qiuling bought the xiang zuo zou xiang you zou..so can borrow from them =)

co got gold n they got into the finals too =).. so zai! congrats! Pls win NJ!! haha =P can't tahan them liao...got into finals for evrything..choir band n co...
are they really that good? hahaha

k nothing much to talk about..

I realised that most ppl are not as strong as wad ppl percieve and wad they display or have to show..hAiz.. hMMz anyway wasn't feeling good for the whole of today... i dun understand how come it can affect me so much(refering to syf) to the extent that i dun have mood to carry on doing my tutorials though they have piling up like mt everest. been stoning most of the time esp durin tuts today... i feel quite sad even though i m just normal non-key player... i really cannot imagine wad weiping and the other more enthu ppl are going thru.. sianz... ruth was saying choir had their mass crying session yest...hope we woun have anything of that sort man. Hope band will be fun n fine this sat...got elections too..

was really engrossed in this ji mi's book titled di xia tie in school today...thinks really nice.. i bought another of his book named Pourquoi or pu gua shi jie..it did help me feel better after reading that book... it speaks of the wu2 nai4 in life in a very light hearted manner..its one of those books that will leave you a smile after u finish reading it.. think i m going to buy more of this kind of books tmr..hahaha...

hope everything will be fine tmr =)

Had SYF today! Wahz the experience was like taking a roller coaster ride lor.. didn�t had a good start in the morning.. conductor couldn�t get the band to be in tune n sound good within time frame so had to eat into our break time and rushed to VCH after the run thru� den at VCH.. I think we played our compulsory piece reasonably well.. den erm our choice piece..abit the cock up.. partly due to unfamiliar percursion instruments that were provided n also some other reasons.. was abit depressing.. den went lunch at P.S with my session after bringing our instrus back to sch..of coz think the whole band ponned CT. =P.�we crapped a lot durin lunch�den end up being the last section to reach VCH after lunch.. actually dunno why I so enthu want to go back to VCH to listen to other jcs and wait for results there� anyway almost the whole band went la.. anyway I wanted to hear RJ n TJ as well� I have to say TJ was really impressive� cheowlit next time your school got band concert can ask me go..

Waiting for the results were torturous lor�the suspense was really killing us� the feeling was entirely different if u were waiting elsewhere like in school.. I dunno why I suddenly became like so nervous even more nervous when performing on stage.. even though I am just the �triangle man� or wadever clive or my classmates call me�bleahz.. really adrenaline rush.. really scared if we cannot make it.. we heaved a great sigh of relief when they announced we got Gold� everyone was just grabbing each other�s hands.. n mind you I was sitting with a whole row of guys.. hahaha quite funny� ayez we didn�t get into top5 though.. was quite saddening n disappointing la . actually not long ago I didn�t really care if we get top5 n would be satisfied if we got gold.. but the past few weeks of intensive practice n hard work n much encouragement and support from our conductor shld have been worthy of us trying to aim n get into top5.. haiz.. many of the girls cried la.. lot of VJ ppl cried also la.. we were all v buay song about NJ being one of the top5 lor..(btw top5 are AC, SA TJ, RJ, and NJ) they were before us during the performance so we heard them clearly n all of us agreed that NJ sounded not v good lor�.confirm worse den us one.. haiz couldn�t stand them� hahaha ..ayez think the judges kelong haha.. anyway wad to do music is subjective lor.. conductor was saying they got gold because the NJ conductor is retiring..den the judges are fulfilling his last wish..hahaha.. wonder how true is that� we later den proceeded to lao pat sat for dinner.. where key yeh treated ppl at our table there chicken wings�so good� kiam siam weiping didn�t treat though we kept bugging him.. so he was constantly being suaned n niaoed.. haha so was dennis.. all of us kinda cheered up la..

Not feeling v sad liao la�its over anyway� gold�s fine too.. hope everyone else is okie.. now got more time to study in june le! Die ah today marks the third day of me not doing any work.. super lag liaoz.. n capriccio coming so still going to be busy w band.. must pull my socks man.. but I v sianed n tired now to do any work.. shucks I m going to stone durin tuts tmr again.. weiping just now reminded me tmr got maths class test on roots itz? Heck liaoz.. at least did some of the tutorial qns liao la..so its going to help

Eh btw thanks huangyi for helping me download games tones n pictures into my phone.. he downloaded few of my fav songs! Like I believe(My sassy girl theme song) K-ge zhi wang n wu ke qu dai.. tHanks a lot =) I hope that didn�t cost u any money.. Buy u a drink tmr.�

Dunno wads wrong with me today lor�felt v sian n low after band pract today.. like depression lydat�has got nothing to do with band pract since everything went rather well n smooth today� Now listening to cd in my room alone lazing around.. feel like finding someone to talk to but dunno find who.. aye I dunno wads wrong with me sometimes� how come I will feel lydat once in a while�I think I was much happier in my sec sch days�not that I dread jc life�it is also fun sometimes.. but think last time got less worries and was less mature to think about things.. dunno how to put it� its just a entire different experience and feeling now� well I guess we all have to learn to grow up�n this is just part n parcel of life�

Seems like there isn�t going to be a 4-8 chalet in june due to poor response n many reasons la.. think most ppl want to conc on studies and in fact 3 weeks its a rather short hols to cover so much work�beginning to worry abit liao� must pass my physics next blk test no matter wad ..moreover some of us got CCA commitment also� I think band might make it into top5 this year provided we maintain our standard n dun flop this weds.. mr leng wants us to get top band�hmmzz�ehz�lets see lor.. =)

Just realised �somebody� n �somebody� re wearing shoes of the same exact design�.hahaha scandalous manz.. =P

AYez...can't believe i actually came too early for band pract..den now slacking in the library..*bored* now.. =P

Oh met up with cheowlit n daryl yest at suntec...den went n.y.d.c where i ordered this three amigos pasta..it had like beef, italian ham etc etc tasted quite yummy... tho later zixuan told me actually their baked rice was better ..nvm can try it another time.. den we just crapped alot...noticed that cheowlit wasn't really himself as in not as cheery la...den he told me he's homesick..i thot he's caught up with some unnecessary relationship problems again....=X hmmz stupid sArs...think he's just one of the many malaysians or foreigners that get stuck in sg for like dunno how long n dunno will be for how long..poor thing...cheer Up mAnz...

went to chinese high to eat during break on fri and as i was returning back for lessons...cheeky huimin hid behind some huge potted plants den went "boo!" as i walked past...well she was lucky that i did kinda got a shock as i was busy smsing while walking...bleahz...i will have my revenge next time if i rem hahaha..

den during maths/bio tut as usual joan n ruth were conveniently disturbing me as i was sitting in front of them...a perfect target for them to throw or shoot wadever rubbish they can find at me...=( hiyah i not angry la...but find they all too funny n harmless to scold or be angry with mah...but den elvin who sat beside me apparently couldn't stand it as he was the victim of many "misfires" n turned back scolded. "can u all stop this crapZ! ...."hahaha bad mood i guess....

hey gtg liaoz...band is starting i supposed ...

bOught a 6610...quite cool..going to download stuff into it...k need to start saving liaoz.quite broke again..slacking at home the whole day..quite a timely holiday i have to say after napfa which made my whole body ache like hell..i scraped thru it with the help of mr lee kai sin....hahah so kind help me add 2 cm for my standing broad jump to pass...

abit disappointed coz thot our class was going out...aiya used to it liao always last min cancel...not a bad idea to slack at home also..

felt that we didn't really play well at inner plaza that day think coz the band didn't warm up properly n it was like v noisy...n i kinda screwed up some parts for at least a few bars coz i was playing in place of my junior ..so hm when u come for band concert shld be able to hear it nicely played..haha...mr leng's attitude like suddenly got 360 degree change these few practs..kept praising us say until as if we re going to get top band..well he said he had too high expectations of us n in fact we sound lot better than many schs even those ppl in white - exact words.. well.....we shall see lor...weds jiu SYF liao... n i realised i m going to miss bio pract..ah i wan to disect rat leh! hahah evilz...disected sheep's heart on wed...realised that squeezing the sheep's heart was quite fun ..hahahah

there was blackout on tues during bio lect...haahaz i was dozing off when the whole lt just turned dark..den lina sitting beside suddenly screamed " shui dong wo!" den the "smart smart" joaling immediately say "jianwei u pervert how come do u do thAt!" aye i m innocent lor...i m so guai n decent how i would do such a thing...den lter i discovered tht it was the even "smarter" hongye who was the culcript..hmmphZ...haha