Closure

.




droolss...

i hate it when there is work to be done during weekends.

and i hate it more when its someone else's work.

In the end, everything is determined by God.

At first i hated some things that happened to me. some i still do.

But perhaps these past few days made me realize something. the rationale and the master plan behind somethings that happened to me a few years ago.

I always say to myself, perhaps, just perhaps, this is the best for everyone. without really 100% sure about it.

Now maybe i can say about 80% sure of it was the best for everyone.  the 20% is just me still over thinking it.


Thank you God. Alhamdulillah.

It was the best choice.



I hope i won't turn into a self-pretentious, pompous person, or if i had been one, i hope i won't be one again.

Geli and x sangka, how people's mindset can change, just after a few praises had been sung, they suddenly become so high and almighty.

Big fish in a small pond.


Melayu.

Wake Up.


What a good choice. i feel a bit better. without fully realising it.

lately i've been feeling too tired after lots of work non stop. at office, at home. daytime job, freelance work. i don't feel theres enough time to properly recharge my batteries, even weekends i have some stupid things to do.

and the all these things amount to what, i dunno. at least the freelance works offer some tangible financial rewards, the work at office is what i would call it borderline crazy & insane. i'm doing some interior things for a big national company, and the thing is, me and my design director don't know much about interiors. at the end of the day, they are going to hire and ID company to do it, then why do we have to spend even weekends to finish up this stupid job.

at office, i've been chatting with fellow colleagues, and the general consensus is that working in the advertising line is totally not worth it. for the amount of your time spent doing this and that, leaving aside little to no time to family and loved ones, the gains are purely materialistic and ego-massaging kind. it's really crazy. experiencing the advertising field first hand, i tell you it is really crazy.

one by one my friends from the office are resigning. all this in the space of just 4 months. i've probably seen nearly 10 person quit.

at the end of the day, i think i should do what my heart tells me to do. do something that i find interesting, mentally stimulating while at the same time wont consume your life. i think i'm going after my contract expires next february. even my design director is saying this whole big agency mumbo jumbo is draining the life out of him. he misses quality time with his family, he misses his kids. he even advised  me to go somewhere else once i feel like i gained enough experience. he says it's totally not worth it staying so long devoting your whole life to a multinational faceless company who doesnt give a shit about you.

and then, there's the issue of doing freelance work with Malays. it makes me sad that after a few times doing freelance work, the most trouble when it comes to payment stems from working with fellow malays. Indian client, chinese clients all pay on time without bullshits and such. but with malays, i've been 2 times left without payment. buat malu melayu saja. it goes to show how certain Malays conduct their business.

i just booted up my newly upgraded windows based cpu (i changed the motherboard, processor, rams about 5 months ago just for the sake of playing some pc exclusive games) that i haven't touched for about 3 months since i shifted to putrajaya. Lo and behold, windows is suddenly corrupt. with no one tinkering or messing up with its stupid .dlls or such.

3 months before i left it, it was working fine.

now i have to reformat the whole thing again.


suddenly after about 20 minutes of formatting, the bootmgr is missing. what the fuck is all this.

i don't know how windows manage to fuck itself up without anyone using the pc. it's beyond disbelief.

wow from the week i've been working for McDonalds account (temporarily helping) on the 5th floor, i've met awesome awesome super talented people, who are super smart and friendly at the same time.

the experience has been so inspiring. and to be honest, a bit scary too hehe. (to be  really truly madly honest, super scary!) not just the seasoned pros who have spent 10-20 years in advertising, some of them are still scarily fresh, like me, but on a different creative and technical plane. super talented.

it's almost been two months now, and the experience working in Leo Burnett Kuala Lumpur is something hard to describe with words. it's like things that are at the extremes of the polar scale (if such word exist?) are co-joined and compressed into a small byte sized candy, that when u open the wrapping, it looks oh-so-unassuming, but when u pop it in your mouth, your taste buds become so totally overpowered, u experience brain freeze, u shit in your pants and at the same time feel the need to become a better creative, skilled thinker, worker, technical monkey and such.

it's like something that i aspire to be in my head, but presented smack dab in front of me, totally making me slack jawed, and freeze. i literally froze a couple of times in these past 2 months. total panic. and lostt.

i feel so out of depth. but at the same time wish that i could be given a bit more time to catch up. still am. studying and exploring stuff during weekends in the hope of learning things i've never knew of before.

wow. it's a universe out there. how big are you?

gosh i love this song. at one time in my life the lyrics were darn relevant to me.

i guess this is the only thing that i can do right now, dress up as well as i am able to...

holy shii i can't even describe the stress and tension i'm having to face everyday at my new workplace.
Everyday.

Everytime i get a new job, especially from the CD, i freak out. Everything has to be done at breakneck pace, every details are scrutinized,  and if i do something slow compared to other seasoned pros there, i get the "hishh.. too slow" sound.

Everyday i feel small. Ridiculed.

But fuck it, i will tough it up, and silence all those critics. Just give me some time!

• 5 years old =  2-3 hours
• 9 years old = 6 hours
• 12 years old = 8 hours
• 14 years old = 16 hours
• 21 years old = 30 hours

Inspiration

Step-by-step, please describe any method of coming up with ideas you find useful.

Stefan : Here is the method from James Webb Young:

1. Think about a project from any possible point of view. From yours, from your moms, from the clients, from a color, from a form etc.etc. point of view.

2. Write every thought down on its own index card. Fill as many cards as possible.

3. Gather them all on a big table. Try to find relationships between the different thoughts.

4. Forget about it.

5. Idea will strike you when you don't expect it.