Closure

.




droolss...

i hate it when there is work to be done during weekends.

and i hate it more when its someone else's work.

In the end, everything is determined by God.

At first i hated some things that happened to me. some i still do.

But perhaps these past few days made me realize something. the rationale and the master plan behind somethings that happened to me a few years ago.

I always say to myself, perhaps, just perhaps, this is the best for everyone. without really 100% sure about it.

Now maybe i can say about 80% sure of it was the best for everyone.  the 20% is just me still over thinking it.


Thank you God. Alhamdulillah.

It was the best choice.



I hope i won't turn into a self-pretentious, pompous person, or if i had been one, i hope i won't be one again.

Geli and x sangka, how people's mindset can change, just after a few praises had been sung, they suddenly become so high and almighty.

Big fish in a small pond.


Melayu.

Wake Up.


What a good choice. i feel a bit better. without fully realising it.

lately i've been feeling too tired after lots of work non stop. at office, at home. daytime job, freelance work. i don't feel theres enough time to properly recharge my batteries, even weekends i have some stupid things to do.

and the all these things amount to what, i dunno. at least the freelance works offer some tangible financial rewards, the work at office is what i would call it borderline crazy & insane. i'm doing some interior things for a big national company, and the thing is, me and my design director don't know much about interiors. at the end of the day, they are going to hire and ID company to do it, then why do we have to spend even weekends to finish up this stupid job.

at office, i've been chatting with fellow colleagues, and the general consensus is that working in the advertising line is totally not worth it. for the amount of your time spent doing this and that, leaving aside little to no time to family and loved ones, the gains are purely materialistic and ego-massaging kind. it's really crazy. experiencing the advertising field first hand, i tell you it is really crazy.

one by one my friends from the office are resigning. all this in the space of just 4 months. i've probably seen nearly 10 person quit.

at the end of the day, i think i should do what my heart tells me to do. do something that i find interesting, mentally stimulating while at the same time wont consume your life. i think i'm going after my contract expires next february. even my design director is saying this whole big agency mumbo jumbo is draining the life out of him. he misses quality time with his family, he misses his kids. he even advised  me to go somewhere else once i feel like i gained enough experience. he says it's totally not worth it staying so long devoting your whole life to a multinational faceless company who doesnt give a shit about you.

and then, there's the issue of doing freelance work with Malays. it makes me sad that after a few times doing freelance work, the most trouble when it comes to payment stems from working with fellow malays. Indian client, chinese clients all pay on time without bullshits and such. but with malays, i've been 2 times left without payment. buat malu melayu saja. it goes to show how certain Malays conduct their business.

i just booted up my newly upgraded windows based cpu (i changed the motherboard, processor, rams about 5 months ago just for the sake of playing some pc exclusive games) that i haven't touched for about 3 months since i shifted to putrajaya. Lo and behold, windows is suddenly corrupt. with no one tinkering or messing up with its stupid .dlls or such.

3 months before i left it, it was working fine.

now i have to reformat the whole thing again.


suddenly after about 20 minutes of formatting, the bootmgr is missing. what the fuck is all this.

i don't know how windows manage to fuck itself up without anyone using the pc. it's beyond disbelief.