"So, did you enjoy the movie?" he asked as we were making our way out from the cinema.

"OMG, it was such a good movie!" I exclaimed and clasped my hands together.

We were watching Mission Impossible 4 and gosh,... Tom Cruise was such a hottie. Maybe booking the movie tickets late and having 3rd row from the front seats wasn't such a bad thing after all. You know, being closer to the screen... Closer to his hunky arms and his sexy eyes....

"Yea? Which parts did you enjoy?"

Damn, he broke my train of umm,... deep thoughts.

I thought about it and decided not to elaborate on the hunky arms and sexy eyes at the risk of sounding a little too shallow.

"Well," I began slowly and paused. "Wait, actually there were some parts in the movie I didn't quite understand.." I confessed.

"Really? Like what?" he sounded puzzled.

"OK, remember in the car when the guy said they had to shut down and disband the IMF... How could they shut down the International Monetary Fund??"

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "The IMF stands for the Impossible Missions Force, which recruits agents like Ethan Hunt. Not the err International Monetary Fund.."

"OH RIGHT!" I forced a laugh and flicked my hair. "Then how did that guy know where to find them in the end??"

"Remember the other guy called him in the middle of the show to tell him.."

"What? That's the same guy? I thought it was some other dude!"

He looked shocked. "Did you not understand the show at all?" he laughed.

"YEAAA!" I insisted. "Well, honestly you're being so harsh! It's not fair cos there were so many action scenes going on at the same time and we were seated so close to the screen!" I yelled back.

"Plus, IN MY DEFENSE," I continued, "My brain has this weird habit of automatically reading the malay subtitles whenever I watch a movie... even though it's in English. And because every scene passes by so quickly, before I finish reading the subtitles for one scene, the movie's switched to the NEXT scene. And on top of that, I need time to translate the Malay words my brain is digesting - into English!!!"

Which was true. I had a perfectly good excuse for not understanding the movie entirely.

He grinned cheekily. "Okay okay, calm down. So now do you get the movie?"

I took a deep breath. "Just one last bit. You know he mentioned something about Ghost Protocol when he was in the car? What does that term mean??"

"Just means that the US Government had cut all support and they were off the grid cos their agency was shut down"

I nodded and pretended to understand everything intelligently.


"Ohhh. But, hey, DID YOU KNOW....that Tom Cruise also acted in another show called Ghost Protocol? I just saw the movie poster outside the cinema as we were walking in!"

He stared at me blankly. Speechless, without uttering a word.

"WHAT??" I demanded.

"The movie we just watched,.... was called Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol..."

Oh err, right. Like I was supposed to read the tiny fonts that said Mission Impossible.

"So how long have you been working with the Company?"

"Well," I paused. "I joined the the Management Trainee programme after I graduated, rotated around various departments for a year; then joined my current desk permanently since last October... Which makes that......"

I held my breath and forced a quick mental calculation in my head.

Wait a second.

Could it be? Really?

October, November, December.... I folded my fingers and recalculated.

"...A year and nine months!" I chirped in reply.



Holy Crap. NEARLY TWO YEARS??? How did it..?? When did I ...??


Man. Time flies.

Oh no, not again....

I pulled my hair back, kneeled in front of the toilet bowl, lurched forward and emptied my stomach uncontrollably. My lungs were about to explode, my head was throbbing, my fingers were trembling, and my breath smelled like.. like.. OK gross! This was what I had for dinner?

I flushed, ran towards the sink and gargled at least a hundred times before brushing my teeth for a good five minutes. I still smelled (and looked) like Shrek.

I staggered weakly out from the bathroom and sat myself down on the couch. It was 5 in the morning and everyone was fast asleep. The house was dark, which was errr kinda creepy but OK focus! Why is this happening to me? Was this food poisoning? Okay, no shit Sherlock... This was food poisoning for sure. But.. But... WHY?

Okay, think! It has got to be dinner. Daddy bought a new (ridiculously expensive) barbecue set the night before, and we were being adventurous to test it out this evening. So we had barbecued chicken and lamb and beef and fish and sausages (err ok, the diet plan - clearly failed). But, no one else had the slightest discomfort from dinner. Why.... Why was I the only one?

My stomach was churning, my head was spinning. I clutched my stomach, breathed slowly and fought the nausea by clamping my lips. Maybe I should relax. Okay breathe... I leaned back and closed my eyes. Breathe..... Hey, this was actually working. I didn't have the urge to throw up anymore. I'm feeling much better. I think. . .

OK wait.

Shit. Oh shit.

I didn't need to puke, I was going to......

My eyes flung wide open as I leaped right out of my seat and dashed towards the bathroom. OK OMG, like, super yuck! Okay think pretty flowery thoughts! Rainbows in the sky! Butterflies fleeting by! Unicorns flying high! Alright... I'm done! Phewww..

I crawled back to the couch and let out a deep sigh. What the heck is wrong with me? I've been up all night throwing up dinner as if I was bulimic. Was this what people had to go through to lose weight? Was this what they --

Hang on, if this was what people did to lose weight then...

My eyes flickered. A brilliant thought swept through my throbbing head. I shuffled towards my weighing scale and gingerly stepped on it.

What the... Oh my... This can't be true.

I got off the scale and stepped on it again. And again. And again. NO WAY! A smile crept across my face (despite the torture I was going through). This was unbelievable!

I LOST WEIGHT!!!

See?... Food poisoning isn't that bad! Yah yah, so you throw up (but with all the alcohol training, you gain experience) and then your stomach hurts (but with all the period cramps training, you gain experience) and you err poop (but.. cough okay enough said) and then -

Err hang on, what's this I'm feeling? Oh no.. I think..... I think -- AHHHH BATHROOM AGAIN!!!

"OH MY GOD!!!! OHMYGODOHMYGOD!!" Patrick yelled, his arms flailing vigorously

"What is it?!" My stomach knotted as I turned immediately to face him. 

He raised his finger and pointed towards the water. "Look!!!" His eyes were wide as he stared in bewilderment. "Oh my goodness!!" 

Instantly, my eyes darted across the boat towards the direction his finger was pointing to. Blue skies, the soft creases that surfaced the river, other people successfully rowing their boats, birds gliding gently in circles. 

"What?? What?!" I demanded, my eyes still searching frantically. 

"Oh my goodness!! Look! Look at that... that.. THING!!" He cried. "It's so... HUGE!!!"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Patrick. That's a... duck"

"Nooooo! Look! It's so huge!! Are you sure it's a duck?"

"Patrick... It's a duck." 

"Are you sure?? Look! Look! Oh my gosh it just went upside down!" He gasped as his hands flew towards his mouth.  "Oh my gosh, did you see that? Did you see that?" 

"Dude..." Kareen said steadily. "How'd you think they eat?" 

"But oh my gooooooosh that's so cool! It went upside down!" He exclaimed. 

I diverted my attention back towards the oar I was struggling with. Why did the other rowers make it look so... easy? Kareen and I were making the boat twirl around in circles. Jared was lying comfortably at the rear end of the boat, his eyes subtly surveying the surroundings for hot chicks. (Don't need to pretend la). Patrick was sitting across Kareen and I, guiding us to steer our boat along a straight path.

"Oh no! We're about to crash into that boat! Turn left!! LEFT!" Patrick commanded

Left? Does that mean I row faster? Eh no, slower. Wait. We're facing the opposite direction so his left or my left?

"LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEFT!! NOW NOW NOW!!!" 

Omg ok now I'm panicking! I row as quickly as I can, my heart was racing and my arms worked with full force. Why did we refuse to wear the ugly lifejackets?! I stole a quick glance behind my shoulders and saw that our boat was still heading towards the other boat! 

It all seemed as if it were happening in slow motion. 

As we inched closer and closer towards the other boat, Kareen took her hand out and pushed the boat away. She saved us. From crashing. With her bare hands. 

That was when I realized our boat was actually moving that slowly. 

But it's okay... Rowing in the park was supposed to be relaxing. 

"Oh my goodness, look at that thing!! It's got a blue beak!!"

It's supposed to be quiet... and peaceful.. and calm.. and undisturbed.. and ... 

"Are you sure it's a duck??? Is it really a duck?!?!"

"Hello Ashley? I'm here already"

It was Fabian, he was visiting London from Belfast! I hung up the phone, and Chang Jin went up to let Fabian through the main door. 

Man, my room was in a mess, as usual. I emptied the contents of my pink rubbish bin into a plastic bag to take the trash out from my room. Fabian would be here anytime now.

I opened the front door and let it close behind me. The chute was a few steps away from the flat. After opening the chute (yuck), stuffing the plastic bag inside the chute (yuck) and closing the lid back (yuck), I headed back to the flat.

Chang Jin and Fabian were standing outside my front door.

"You have the keys right?" Chang Jin raised his eyebrow and shifted his weight to one leg

Keys.  

Keys. Oh.. my god, the damn keys.

Abruptly, I stopped dead in my tracks. My keys were in my room. I locked us out of the house. I came out, letting the front door close behind me, auto-locking it from the inside, locking us outside. No one else was in the house, we were the only ones with keys here, my landlord was unreachable, we didn't have our phones with us, or our wallets, no money, no debit card, nothing. And I was still in my pyjamas. 

Oh god, we're locked out. 

We hurried down to the concierge to ask for help. The security guard told us they didn't have any spare keys. I flipped open the yellow pages, and called a few locksmiths.

"That would be 75pounds to get it done"

"75 pounds?!?!" My heart stopped beating for awhile. "Err, do you do student discount?" 

"What?" He was half laughing. "No." He said bluntly.

I handed the phone back to the security guard. You have to be kidding me, 75 pounds to unlock my front door? 

The security guard, Julian, leaned forward and spoke in a lower tone. He told us about how it has happened to other residents, and he knows a certain someone who could unlock the door. 

So we took the security guard and the caretaker to our flat, armed with a long metal rod. He took five seconds to bend it to the right shape, another five seconds to fit it through the slit of our mail box, and less than a minute to hook it to the ledge inside and unlock our front door for us.

He did some prison break stunt and he unlocked it from the outside! He was a genius! I saved 75 pounds! I can order the dress from asos! YAY!

Wait... Hang on.

That just means... Well, that just means it'll only take a minute for someone to break into our flat from the outside.

Errrr... Okay now I'm freaked out. 

+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Fabian and his fried kuay teow. 

Fabian trying on the Burberry Polo. The previous season was nicer right?

I love Westfield :) 

"What about this one?" I lifted the magazine and pointed my finger towards a different model.

There was a slight pause as my hairdresser scrutinized the picture. "Hum, nope. Can't do that for you. Your hair's too short." 

 "This one?" I suggested. 

"Nah, I don't think it'll suit you" He replied bluntly.

My face fell as I continued flipping through the glossy pages. 

"Okay You know what?" He clasped his hands and took in a deep breath. "I think what you need i something refreshing. Something different. Something..... bold." He said and flung his hands up in a very girly manner. 

"You know Victoria Beckham?" He asked as he stared straight into my eyes

I nodded my head furiously

"You want to look like her?" 

It was a rhetorical question. I mean, he said Victoria Beckham. I was fourteen and Princess Diaries made me believe hairdressers had magical powers to transform ugly ducklings into beautiful swans/princesses. 

So I screamed yes, and immediately he drew out his pair scissors and began working with my hair. I was still grinning from ear to ear as I continued thumbing through the pages of the magazines. Wow. Posh Spice! I was excited. I was squirming from my seat. 

He was snipping frantically and I saw locks of hair - lots and lots of my hair - falling all around me. But it's okay, like he said it was going to be a refreshing change. I shifted my attention back to the article I was reading. 

Half an hour later, he puts the hairdryer down and removes the towel from my back. "Taa-daa!!" He exclaimed.

I was still reading the article about the husband who cheated on his wife with his neighbour's maid but when I looked up and saw my reflection on the mirror, I instantly dropped the magazine.

I... I... I was speechless. My jaw hung open as I stared blankly at my reflection. 

Victoria Beckham? HELLO, he gave me mushroom hair! 

I remember my pillow soaked with tears. I remember my maid snickering at the back of my kitchen. I remember asking mommy if hair tonic would work. She called me a silly girl. I remember considering the idea of wearing a tudung to school. 

That was 8 years ago. 

Last week, I walked into the hairdressers to get a trim. 

"Just ONE inch" I said very slowly and carefully. I had to be extremely precise, no way am I allowing the mushroom hair to make its comeback. 

I sat up straight and monitored her closely as she worked swiftly with the scissors. No more husband cheating on wife with neighbour's maid distracting stories. My eyes never left the sight of her deadly weapon. And so an inch shorter it was at the end of the haircut. 

I fished out my wallet to draw a 20Pound note.

"Sorry love, it's 30Pounds"

"30? But it says 20pounds on your price list there" I pointed towards the sign board

"Cut and wash with the Senior Stylist.. 30 pounds, love" She smiled. "I'm a senior stylist" She placed a hand on her chest. 

"Err.... Student discount?" I batted my eyelashes

"We don't do student discounts" 

Thirty Pounds. For ONE inch. Sigh. 

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Marley and Me



I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye, but I loved you and I always will. 

Wow... I am home alone! Two of my housemates are back in Malaysia, and the other housemate is over at his girlfriend's place.

"You sure you're going to be okay alone?" He asked for the third time

"Yeaaaa-ahh" I rolled my eyes

"Sure?" He furrowed his eyebrows

"Omg seriously, yes! Just go! Jeez, I'm not a kid. I do know how to take care of myself" I retorted. 

As soon as he left, I smelt..... freedom. I had the entire house all to myself! The last time I was left home alone was.. was.. was.. never. 

WOOHOO! The liberation! 

I could make all the noise I wanted! Oh man, I could sing on top of my lungs AND dance to the Spice Girls in front of my mirror and be just like Victoria!! 

I could fill the bath tub with rose petals and Body Shop scented bath foam, play music from my iPod and read Cosmo while I take the longest bath ever!!

And I could walk around the house naked! Haha OK - just kidding. 

Oh! And I could do aerobics in my room! Well, not that I actually know any aerobics, but I could always make up my own moves!

I could watch re-runs of Grey's Anatomy and - and -

OK Hang on. 

Waaait, a minute... 

What.. What was that strange sound? Did I... did I hear something coming from.. upstairs maybe? 

My body freezes temporarily. My fingers are shaking slightly. My heart is pounding so hard I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. What the hell was that?

Okay. No, my mind's playing tricks on me. I'm sure it's just my imaginati--- OK SHIT. I definitely heard something, AGAIN. What on EARTH was that? Was it a howl? A screech? A vampire? What?

Horror movie scenes are flashing in front of my eyes. Thinking about the damn bath tub with the stupid stupid rose petals is scaring the living hell out of me right now!!! Shit!! I can feel shivers running down my spine. My back is stiff. My face is pale. My legs are numb. I can't move. 

Oh my gosh Oh my gosh Oh my gosh Oh my gosh. I can't die now! Not just yet! I still need to know if Meredith and Derek are going to get married. 

OK. Breathe. Think rationally. It's the wind outside. It's fierce and it's angry and violent and it's the wind. Not some freaking vampire. 

But.. But that thud. Could it be footsteps? 

If someone breaks into the house, I'll call the cops. Is it 911 in the UK? I'll lock my room door and, and and I'll be safe in -- URGH. I knew I should have fixed the broken lock. Ok don't panic. It's alright, I have pepper spray. They don't expire do they? 

Oh man, I need to pee.

But that means that I'll have to walk out of my room, in the dark, past the freaking corridors to get to the damn toilet to pee. Okay. Nope, I'm going to hold it in until the sun comes up tomorrow morning. 

Omg I want to curl up in bed and cry! 

Okay I know. I'll go to bed. I'll go to bed with the lights on. Fall asleep while - err, I mean after- I read the bible. Listen to soothing music on my laptop and let my mind drift gently into sleep. Tuck myself in bed under my warm comfortable duvet and think about happy thoughts. And pray. Very very hard. 

Sounds like a plan. 

My brain was half functioning as I scribbled lazily on my notepad. My tutor was drawing graphs on the board, but he drew them poorly so they failed to intersect. He erased them and made a few more attempts before he stepped back satisfied. He turned to face us and raised a few questions, but my mind wasn't with macroeconomics anymore. It was a Friday, the last lesson for the day. Only a few more minutes to go. But time seemed to be crawling at such an unbearable pace. 

In fact, the entire week has been such a drag. It was the last week of term, and since I was graduating this year - the last week of my entire schooling life. Highlights of university:

1. Once I was late for my lecture, so as soon as I took my seat in the lecture hall, I started copying notes from the board. Fifteen minutes later I realized I didn't recognize anyone in my lecture, and so I asked the guy next to me what course this was. It was some masters economics course. I've been sitting in the wrong lecture hall for fifteen minutes

2. In my first year, I had a major crush on this hottie in my class who looked like Neo from the matrix. He wore a long black coat, and had dark sleek hair of which he'd brush with his fingers (always in slow motion) to the back, while he tilted his head slightly downwards. Incredibly sexy. Of course I never knew him, so my friends and I called him matrix as a secret code. And every time he was nearby, my friends would nudge me "matrix! it's matrix!!" and everyone would turn around to stare at him. Now he thinks I'm a psycho. 

3. My macroeconomics tutor has been calling me kit KAI for ten weeks because I never bothered correcting him from the beginning of the year. 

And now he's reading out the register to record our attendance. 

"Kit Kai?" He looks up.

I wanted to smack him. But I smiled instead. He dismissed us and I was the first one out of the classroom. I met up with some friends outside the building.

"So, you done for the day?" someone asked me

"Yea. Just had my last tutorial. So I'm done for the week. .... Actually, no... I'm done for my lifetime" I replied cheekily. 

And now it's slowly sinking in. Lifetime. Wow. That's.. quite a long time 

I woke up this morning with a faint throbbing in my head. Everything was in a disorderly haste as I rolled over and responded to my alarm. OK so it wasn't a dream, my alarm was ringing - err possibly for quite some time now. I lifted my head up and forced an eye to open. 

What a beautiful day! The sun was up, the birds were singing, the sky was bright, we'll be going to church today, I'm goi -- OK hang on, church was yesterday. Which makes today a Monday. A Monday. Oh shit! A Monday! That makes me - OH MY GOODNESS!!- I was unbelievably late! 

Instantly, my eyes popped right open. I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and shrieked as I caught my reflection on the mirror. My hair was disheveled, dark circles were forming below my eyes.  I looked like ... like a cross between Kung Fu Panda and the Lion King. 

Whatever! No time to waste chop chop! I washed up as quickly as I could, made myself a cup of coffee (thank God for Nescafe 3 in 1), slipped into some clothes and made a dash to the lifts. As soon as I stepped out of the building, my legs immediately sprung into action and I sprinted halfway across the street. 

I had to cross the road to get to the bus stop. The pedestrian traffic light had just turned red. Which signalled me not to cross. But I was late. The bus was coming anytime. And I could not miss the bus. So I dashed across the road. Without thinking or looking twice. Any slower and a car would have ran over -- never mind, I'm still alive, phew!

I caught the bus, took my seat on the upper deck and fished out Harper Lee from my bag. I've calculated: 25 minutes to school, 25 back from school. That's 50 minutes a day, 50 x 5 = 250 minutes a week of reading. I had to make full use of every second I had. Time was money, money was time! 

But my mind was skittering, my brain was barely registering the sentences my eyes fed. I checked my watch every 2 minutes, and I stopped myself when I realized my fingers were drumming impatiently against my thigh. Traffic was heavy, the bus was practically crawling and I was late. So late. I'm late. Late late late late

OK calm down. I need to get a grip of myself. I took in long and deep breathes and felt my chest rise and fall as I inhaled and exhaled. This felt good. I suddenly feel more... relaxed. My heart rate begins to drop steadily, a smile slowly spreads across my face, Ingrid Michaelson comes up on my iPod and she's telling me to "keep breathing". WOW! This was like a message from God! 

I closed my eyes, began to loosen my shoulders when suddenly, the driver slammed his foot on the breaks and entire bus jerked forward.

My eyes snapped wide open and I bolted upright as a wall of panic hits me. What on earth?!! I craned my neck and saw that a lady had ran across the street right in front of the bus. Jeez! Doesn't she know how to cross only when she's supposed to? How foolish can she be?! She could have been killed by a bus, her guts spilling out on the road, face distorted into -- OK. Wait. Err. This sounds awfully familiar. Ooookay.   

So the bus pulls up at Aldwych and I jumped out before the doors were completely open. Late! Late! Late! The second my feet touched the ground, I picked up my pace to match the stride of everyone else. No, I overtook them. Hah! I was like Usain Bolt, in high heels. The wind was hitting hard on my face, my hair was all over the place, my arms were at right angles (for faster walking speed - but I looked quite like a chicken). I ignored the strange looks I was getting. I walked faster and faster, weaving through the crowd.

Then finally! I reached the lecture hall. I was panting so hard, I sounded like a suffocated dog. I sat down and felt a surge of satisfaction. Oh yay, I wasn't thaaat late :) 

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness this jittered, frantic, helter-skelter mess was only for today. Oh and yesterday, when we were running late for church. Hmm and well, last Friday when we were late for class. Last Wednesday when we had to rush for London Rock. And for dinner on Saturday. Actually, it was worse during the entire ten weeks of my internship. I had to push my way and elbow everyone else to get into the Underground tubes to work! OH And during the boxing day sale! My gosh, the crowd was insane! Well, New Years Eve too for that matter. And the time I nearly missed my train, and when had to run to the Shaftesbury Theatre, and oh that time when.... 

Err...OK OK fine. Every other day of my life here in London.