Havn't blogged in another long while and makes me wonder whether it is worthwhile to actually mantain this blog. Main reason why i guess is because I have a jounal now...
One word I'll keep from youth camp... perservere
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Recess Week
It's the recess week and truly it doesn't feel like a break.
Topics covered:
5/7 of PPDA
1/4 of Physio,
3/5 for Anat.
2 effective days left meaning i got to cover an avg of 4 topics a day. Dang.
The DSR over the weekend was good. A time to get away from it all, too bad it ended pretty fast. Can't wait for the december holidays. Anyways products from Cowtime:
The LORD is with me,
the One on whom I depend.
He is my help and my strength;
Loving Father, Wonderful Counsellor, Faithful Friend.
The LORD is with me,
wherever I may go.
The heavens, the depths, or the seas;
wherever I am, he will know.
The LORD is with me,
do not be afraid.
Though my enemies surround me,
My God will come to my aid.
The LORD is with me,
the path of life he has shown.
I find pure joy in His presence,
I know I will never be alone.
The LORD is with me,
He is most worthy of praise,
His love, His goodness and his deeds,
be on my lips all my days.
And from cow time 2:
The Most High's Shelter,
where I find my rest;
my fortress and my refuge,
able to withstand any trail or rest.
Under the feathers of His wings,
I know I am safe and secure.
My strong shield and tower,
whose faithfulness ever endures.
The LORD is my rock,
the horn of my salvation.
The one who protects, who rescues,
who gave His life for His creation.
Yup... to summarise in 1 word - comfort.
Back to mugging...
Topics covered:
5/7 of PPDA
1/4 of Physio,
3/5 for Anat.
2 effective days left meaning i got to cover an avg of 4 topics a day. Dang.
The DSR over the weekend was good. A time to get away from it all, too bad it ended pretty fast. Can't wait for the december holidays. Anyways products from Cowtime:
The LORD is with me,
the One on whom I depend.
He is my help and my strength;
Loving Father, Wonderful Counsellor, Faithful Friend.
The LORD is with me,
wherever I may go.
The heavens, the depths, or the seas;
wherever I am, he will know.
The LORD is with me,
do not be afraid.
Though my enemies surround me,
My God will come to my aid.
The LORD is with me,
the path of life he has shown.
I find pure joy in His presence,
I know I will never be alone.
The LORD is with me,
He is most worthy of praise,
His love, His goodness and his deeds,
be on my lips all my days.
And from cow time 2:
The Most High's Shelter,
where I find my rest;
my fortress and my refuge,
able to withstand any trail or rest.
Under the feathers of His wings,
I know I am safe and secure.
My strong shield and tower,
whose faithfulness ever endures.
The LORD is my rock,
the horn of my salvation.
The one who protects, who rescues,
who gave His life for His creation.
Yup... to summarise in 1 word - comfort.
Back to mugging...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
half a year on...
*static charge*... zap...
*static charge*... zap...
Back online...
Hey all, this is my first blog post in over half a year. My gosh... I guess it has really been some time since i posted anything on my blog and examined what has been happening with my life; or at least all that can be revealed online.
For the past six months in summary: TRACKERS from january to april(comprising lessons, mission trip to X, church internship, yong en and fairfield) Love Cambodia trip in april. Taiwan Boys Trip in May. Temp job (with a case of food poisoning) in June.
Has it been fufilling? Yes and no. I guess due to our human condition... things can be so much better - the way God intended it to be. Current struggle is aptly described my CS Lewis:
Imagine turning a tin soldier into a real little man. It would involve turning the tin into flesh. And suppose the tin soldier did not like it. He is not interested in flesh: all he sees is that the tin is being spoilt. He thinks you are killing him. He will do everything he can to prevent you. He will not be made into a man if he can help it.
The tin man: our fallen human self
real little man: new man(creation) in Christ.
I remembered this point in time during my first mission trip where my heart wasn't right and perhaps now still isn't right at times. I'm sure it is important to serve with the correct heart, but one thing i learnt was that despite that, we have something which affects things, and that is choice or "free will".
And as we choose to put on Christ and conform to his will, being humble and submitting to him, things happen for the better in the sense of my relationship with God. On the contrary, when we choose to conform back to the tin man( the self-centered carnel self), stumbling blocks and trash enters our walk. And when we come back to Jesus(being yielded and submitted to Him), by His love and grace can these things be cleaned out, and ourselves be purified. Nonetheless for all the sins I have commited, when that time comes I'll have to answer to God and be judged. Sometimes, he'll waver the consequences(punishment) and that is by His grace, and if he doesn't, I'll trust His judgement that it is best(though my carnel self will probably loathe it) and faith is needed for that.
"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation"
~So goodbye tin man and welcome new creation... it is a process, not instantaneous per say though relative to an infinite amount of time seems rather so.
Nearing the end of TRACKERS, i remembered one of our asst mentor/tracker keith mentioned that our spiritual walk was sometimes like a video game. Like going through experiences which strengthen us and build us up until we reach a certain level, then at that point we can save like a save file. SO next time if we rise and then stumble, we can like fall back onto that save file. In a way that is true, but I found something that can 'delete' so called these saved files. Spiritual Pride which in turn leads to disobedience. Not instinctive disobedience but willful disobedience and urgh... a sin which pulls you away from God like no other, have experienced it post-trackers and i'm so sorry it has happened. Only against God have i sinned.
"Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge."
~spiritual pride is evil, indeed a deadly sin where many other sins can stem forth from, painful pruning and humbling, here I come.
Spiritual Bankruptcy. A theme that came to me after the mission trip - the first hint of my spiritual pride. That I, me myself had acheived something by going for trackers and a mission trip serving God, that I was somewhere in my walk. Thinking that i wasn't that spiritually poor already and had acheived some "Spiritual value". Oh how I was reminded that nothing comes except from God and his grace, so that indeed it is by grace and faith, not by works. I am a sinner in need of a saviour, just like any human being on this planet; a creation of God, fallen and yet still loved.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
~I will always be poor. I have to constantly be reminded that I am but a man, and nothing I do can make God reveal Himself to me unless he does so, thus i shall not boast in anything I acheive, for it is Christ's not mine.
Taiwan Trip... got to see God in nature. Both in the aquarium and also at yangmingshan. When one sees nature, the majestic mountains, the lush and pleasing greenery, the wonderful contours of the evening sky, the unique varieties of life. I stand in awe feeling so small, knowing that indeed someone Great has created all these. A glimpse of His glory through his creation.
"all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!"
~In awe...
Food poisoning and temping. Admin work is... playing a boring computer game hours on end. But do it to your best because God has given you the abilities He has chosen to give you and thus you should do it properly and well. Food poisoning was on the 3rd day of work. I suspect it's P*****, but no idea. Diarrhoea and puking, coupled with a fever at 39 degrees plus, not nice. But I thank God that it wasn't beyond what i could bear and somehow the experience showed me why I chose pharmacy. Drugs not only orally but suppositories and IV as well.
"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise."
~I have indeed been helped, healed and saved during this time in early June. Thanks be to God.
Typing all these, I can say this first and foremost. I am not holy for I believe that is reserved for the Lord God Almighty and His sanctified places. I am a sinner, a work being worked on and chiseled at, being moulded and oven-baked. Painful in a way yet something undeniably needed. As an athelete experiences pain in training, so does one in his/her spiritual walk. Stumbles and falls I'll probably have, God is faithful though and falling and the same crags and crannies over and over again i know things have to be worked on, with God my helper I have the full confidence that I will be helped, now it comes to the issue of being fully yielded to Him. The battlefield of freewill. Now going through disciple, I hope to know God more (after 2 years) because I know he wants me to know Him more. Be it through bible study or other means, I know that whatever I learn comes becaused he allowed it so and not because of my efforts. May i be still enough to listen.
Truly post-ORD, I have never expected my 1st half of 2009 to happen as it has. Truly amazing are the plans God has for us and the days he has ordained here on earth and even more so when we turn to Him.
PS: To all my friends who read this, thank you for taking the time to read until the end of the post haha. I would like to say that I am no better than anyone be they Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist... because at the end of the day, we have all fallen and remembering the original plan, we were all created in His image.
Love(Agape) you all!
*static charge*... zap...
Back online...
Hey all, this is my first blog post in over half a year. My gosh... I guess it has really been some time since i posted anything on my blog and examined what has been happening with my life; or at least all that can be revealed online.
For the past six months in summary: TRACKERS from january to april(comprising lessons, mission trip to X, church internship, yong en and fairfield) Love Cambodia trip in april. Taiwan Boys Trip in May. Temp job (with a case of food poisoning) in June.
Has it been fufilling? Yes and no. I guess due to our human condition... things can be so much better - the way God intended it to be. Current struggle is aptly described my CS Lewis:
Imagine turning a tin soldier into a real little man. It would involve turning the tin into flesh. And suppose the tin soldier did not like it. He is not interested in flesh: all he sees is that the tin is being spoilt. He thinks you are killing him. He will do everything he can to prevent you. He will not be made into a man if he can help it.
The tin man: our fallen human self
real little man: new man(creation) in Christ.
I remembered this point in time during my first mission trip where my heart wasn't right and perhaps now still isn't right at times. I'm sure it is important to serve with the correct heart, but one thing i learnt was that despite that, we have something which affects things, and that is choice or "free will".
And as we choose to put on Christ and conform to his will, being humble and submitting to him, things happen for the better in the sense of my relationship with God. On the contrary, when we choose to conform back to the tin man( the self-centered carnel self), stumbling blocks and trash enters our walk. And when we come back to Jesus(being yielded and submitted to Him), by His love and grace can these things be cleaned out, and ourselves be purified. Nonetheless for all the sins I have commited, when that time comes I'll have to answer to God and be judged. Sometimes, he'll waver the consequences(punishment) and that is by His grace, and if he doesn't, I'll trust His judgement that it is best(though my carnel self will probably loathe it) and faith is needed for that.
"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation"
~So goodbye tin man and welcome new creation... it is a process, not instantaneous per say though relative to an infinite amount of time seems rather so.
Nearing the end of TRACKERS, i remembered one of our asst mentor/tracker keith mentioned that our spiritual walk was sometimes like a video game. Like going through experiences which strengthen us and build us up until we reach a certain level, then at that point we can save like a save file. SO next time if we rise and then stumble, we can like fall back onto that save file. In a way that is true, but I found something that can 'delete' so called these saved files. Spiritual Pride which in turn leads to disobedience. Not instinctive disobedience but willful disobedience and urgh... a sin which pulls you away from God like no other, have experienced it post-trackers and i'm so sorry it has happened. Only against God have i sinned.
"Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge."
~spiritual pride is evil, indeed a deadly sin where many other sins can stem forth from, painful pruning and humbling, here I come.
Spiritual Bankruptcy. A theme that came to me after the mission trip - the first hint of my spiritual pride. That I, me myself had acheived something by going for trackers and a mission trip serving God, that I was somewhere in my walk. Thinking that i wasn't that spiritually poor already and had acheived some "Spiritual value". Oh how I was reminded that nothing comes except from God and his grace, so that indeed it is by grace and faith, not by works. I am a sinner in need of a saviour, just like any human being on this planet; a creation of God, fallen and yet still loved.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
~I will always be poor. I have to constantly be reminded that I am but a man, and nothing I do can make God reveal Himself to me unless he does so, thus i shall not boast in anything I acheive, for it is Christ's not mine.
Taiwan Trip... got to see God in nature. Both in the aquarium and also at yangmingshan. When one sees nature, the majestic mountains, the lush and pleasing greenery, the wonderful contours of the evening sky, the unique varieties of life. I stand in awe feeling so small, knowing that indeed someone Great has created all these. A glimpse of His glory through his creation.
"all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!"
~In awe...
Food poisoning and temping. Admin work is... playing a boring computer game hours on end. But do it to your best because God has given you the abilities He has chosen to give you and thus you should do it properly and well. Food poisoning was on the 3rd day of work. I suspect it's P*****, but no idea. Diarrhoea and puking, coupled with a fever at 39 degrees plus, not nice. But I thank God that it wasn't beyond what i could bear and somehow the experience showed me why I chose pharmacy. Drugs not only orally but suppositories and IV as well.
"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise."
~I have indeed been helped, healed and saved during this time in early June. Thanks be to God.
Typing all these, I can say this first and foremost. I am not holy for I believe that is reserved for the Lord God Almighty and His sanctified places. I am a sinner, a work being worked on and chiseled at, being moulded and oven-baked. Painful in a way yet something undeniably needed. As an athelete experiences pain in training, so does one in his/her spiritual walk. Stumbles and falls I'll probably have, God is faithful though and falling and the same crags and crannies over and over again i know things have to be worked on, with God my helper I have the full confidence that I will be helped, now it comes to the issue of being fully yielded to Him. The battlefield of freewill. Now going through disciple, I hope to know God more (after 2 years) because I know he wants me to know Him more. Be it through bible study or other means, I know that whatever I learn comes becaused he allowed it so and not because of my efforts. May i be still enough to listen.
Truly post-ORD, I have never expected my 1st half of 2009 to happen as it has. Truly amazing are the plans God has for us and the days he has ordained here on earth and even more so when we turn to Him.
PS: To all my friends who read this, thank you for taking the time to read until the end of the post haha. I would like to say that I am no better than anyone be they Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist... because at the end of the day, we have all fallen and remembering the original plan, we were all created in His image.
Love(Agape) you all!
Friday, January 02, 2009
2009
Mabandod:
"Insipid beginning with vacuous time.
Vagrant odyssey; an arduous climb.
Solitary ambiance with aid unseen.
insurmountable peak; a hopeless scene."
Agwedd:
An archer draws his bow,
A warrior braces his body.
Before rage unleash her fury,
a moment of calm serenity.
The clock strikes; sanity is lost!
Instinct takes over, reason is tossed.
The whirl of an arrow, the slash of a blade,
a breath to take. a breath too late.
The flame of battle; virtues are hazed,
hope and faith, a yonder length.
Bewildered hearts, wandering souls,
confounded minds, waning strength.
"Insipid beginning with vacuous time.
Vagrant odyssey; an arduous climb.
Solitary ambiance with aid unseen.
insurmountable peak; a hopeless scene."
Agwedd:
An archer draws his bow,
A warrior braces his body.
Before rage unleash her fury,
a moment of calm serenity.
The clock strikes; sanity is lost!
Instinct takes over, reason is tossed.
The whirl of an arrow, the slash of a blade,
a breath to take. a breath too late.
The flame of battle; virtues are hazed,
hope and faith, a yonder length.
Bewildered hearts, wandering souls,
confounded minds, waning strength.
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