It has been a mad house around here lately! Saturday night my sister had to go to the hospital because she's been having contractions and her baby is not due until the beginning of March. So she had to drop the kids over here at one in the morning and she didn't get home from the hospital until seven Sunday morning. So we had to really get into gear to get ready for church after pretty much getting no sleep, and It was my time to teach as well. My mother had it much worse than I did though. We got home and my sister had to go back to the hospital. Long story short, she has been to hospital four times since Saturday. Thank heavens this is her LAST child! As much as I love her children- IT NEEDS TO BE THE LAST ONE!!!

My lungs are killing me! The air quality has been so horrible, I sound like an old man with my nasty cough. I should just go to the doctor already. Well I am super excited for our trip to the Bed and Breakfast tomorrow night for my birthday! At the same time, I really, really, really hate leaving my baby! I miss her so much when we are apart. My momma takes good care of her, but I still hate it.

I am not sure where I want to go out to dinner yet. We haven't been eating out as much and It's not as appealing to me anymore. So far just from that I have lost 6lbs! I've been cooking every single meal for us and my parents too! I mean I am kind of proud of myself because I haven't been obsessing like I usually do and before If I gained an ounce I would freak out! But I've been very careful to not be so hard on myself and not let it take over my life.

It's been making it so much easier on me. I have found a new confidence in myself and not because of the lost pounds, but because I am learning to love myself for the person I am and focus on my good qualities, because there are more good ones than bad. I just tend to always focus on the bad.

I am trying to learn how to be comfortable with saying that I am beautiful. That is one of the hardest things I have to do(yeah I know I should be so lucky if that is my only problem in life,right). My husband has said to me recently that every week I have someone, even strangers, tell me how beautiful I am or give me a compliment on my skin, hair, eyes, lips, smile, or what have you, and I just cannot get it through my head! It's so frustrating to him that I just cannot accept it.

Since I became a mom I have just kind of stopped being so concerned about those things and just really focused on my spirituality and raising my daughter to not be vain and to not be more concerned with her outward appearance more than her faith or how she treats others. And I know that a huge part of how she develops these qualities are by her parents examples.

And I want to be a great example for her. But I also realize that this is a part of my healing process. I don't want her to be shallow, worldly or vain, but I don't ever want her to question her worth or her beauty-inside or out either. So having her hear her mother say, 'ugh, I am hideous and fat!' is not a healthy example. My being more concerned with being healthy rather than being a size 2, and my learning how to love myself is a much better way to be a better example for my girl. I owe it to her and to myself.

I haven't been able to post anything for a while, we've been so busy lately.

Tuesday was my hubby's day off and we were so excited that we could watch the inauguration together as a family. It was such an amazing experience to share with my daughter. I thought that we should have a really, really nice special breakfast for a very special occasion so I made blueberry pancakes from scratch with some homemade blueberry syrup and an egg scramble that had everything you could possibly imagine in it. It was sooo good!

After breakfast we all cuddled together and watched the inauguration, and I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest! I was filled with so much joy! I managed to hold it together until President Obama made his amazing speech. Then I lost it! I loved his speech! It was so inclusive, and moving. I still cannot believe that I was able to witness such a monumental event in history. To me, it's like everyone who has fought the battle against hate and discrimination, everyone who has lost their lives, it's like it was a vindication of all of those who suffered and fought for their rights. Simply amazing.

After the inauguration, we decided to go out to dinner. We went to The California Pizza Kitchen at the Gateway. I thought it was such a waste! I've made much better pizzas at home that cost next to nothing. That's what happens when we haven't gone out to eat in a month and then decide to. I've learned my lesson. We then headed over to Gymboree to get some hair accessories for Leah for spring, and then over to Build a Bear to get Leah her very first bear! My sister has invited us to go before for her daughter's birthday party (thanks Aunt Angie for always including her) but We couldn't make it, so when Leah walked in those doors for the first time she just lit up! It was so sweet!

We got her a Valentine's day bear and she loves it! I really need to post some pics of my sweet baby girl and her new favorite stuffed animal. We definitely need to take her there more often. We had a really great time together! Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to post more.

Leah update

I have to post this really quickly because I have no time these days. But after that last post, Leah woke up the day and was absolutely fine! She didn't even have a fever, so I think it was one of those 24 hr things. She is back to her lively self and we couldn't be happier! We love her to pieces, and we are soooo happy that she is feeling better.

Maybe we should just live in a bubble?

So we woke up this morning and got breakfast going. We gave Leah some pancakes (that she usually scarfs down) Well, she wanted nothing to do with them. So Chris jumped into action to feed her something that she never resists, oatmeal. She took one bite, and seconds later made the worst gagging sound I've ever heard in my life(next to mine from when I was pregnant) and threw up all over herself! Poor thing!

So we cleaned her off put new clothes on her and put her in our bed to lay down. Well, as soon as she got herself nice and comfy she sat back up and started vomiting all over herself again. So we got her out of her freshly vomited on clothes and put some jammies on her and all she wanted to do was lay on mommy. Poor thing, she also was on fire! She had a fever off and on all day. Chris had to in to work today and I decided to just go to YW. Thanks mom for taking care of her while I went to church.

My mom said that if it wasn't for the fever and the look of her eyes, you'd never know she was sick. She still had so much energy and was making us laugh and kept us on our feet. Love you sweetheart! I hope you feel much better soon.

My baby Leah

My baby turned 18 months old! I cannot believe how fast time has flown since I gave birth to that wonderful little angel that is my daughter. Holy crap! I have a toddler! She makes me laugh every single day. She has learned how to do so many things and I love how independent she has become.

She likes to feed herself with her fork or spoon and 90% of the time the food gets to her mouth. If you give her a big piece of food to eat she shoves the whole thing in her mouth at once, and still manages to chew with her mouth shut. She can say, momma, daddy, grandma. grandpa, Yes, yeah, no, baby, what is this, what is that, who is this, bye bye, eyes, nose, whoa, yay. She can point out her eyes, ears, mouth, nose, hair, bellie, and feet if you ask her to. She can show you the numbers one and two on her hand. She knows that dogs say ruff and stick their tongues out to pant(sooo cute when she does that) and she knows that cows say moo. She'll eat anything but only occasionally won't eat meat. She loves fruit and veggies.

It was so easy getting her to sleep in her own room when we moved her in there before she was a year old. She was off of the bottle at twelve and a half months. She loves bath time! She still loves peeka boo, likes to hide behind things and jump out at you. I love how she holds her sippy cups in her arms like a football. When she doesn't want to be in her crib, she'll throw her baby doll out of her crib and it makes a loud bang, because she knows that mommy and daddy will rush in thinking that she has jumped out of her crib. And then she starts laughing. She loves her grandparents and wants to spend all day everyday with them and her cousins. She gets along so well with other kids. She has always been such a good baby for us. We couldn't have asked for a better baby. She just melts our hearts with everything that she does. I love it when she sees me and she runs over to me,puts her arms around me and says mama! She is the cutest little dancer too! I just love my little sidekick.

Sick,sick,sick,sick,sick!

Yep, you guessed it... Leah and I are sicks as dogs.....Again!!!
It's really bad this time. I cannot even think straight. My head is so cloudy. I'm getting these really bad migraines that just come out of nowhere, and it makes it so hard to even keep my eyes open. My poor baby, her nose is just about ready to fall off, it's so runny. I got about four hours of sleep last night. Puffs plus tissues are my new best friends along with my nice warm bed and my chap stick. Leah hasn't missed a beat though. It takes alot to get her down, she even has a few teeth that are coming in, but you'd never guess by her demeanor. I so love that little girl.



Oh, and... WAY TO GO UTES!!!! Woo Hoo! We had a little party the night of the Sugar Bowl, and it was awesome! I actually really like football.