2013- Sometimes...You Find Yourself Lost Amongst the Familiar

As 2013 begins, I reflect; 2012 was an amazing year but not without it's difficulties. I have always known life to be in black and white. Yes, for the most part, its been that simple. I've been driven, I've worked hard and I've succeeded. My 20s were pretty good and surprisingly, my teenage years were maybe even a bit better. Everyone told me it gets better in your 30s but I'm finding myself smack dab in the middle of "grey" (partially the title of this blog several years ago). Suddenly, everything is shockingly in grey and in bright color blasts. I'm part of something bigger than  myself now- a marriage, a community, a job that involves families (and don't get me wrong- I love it) but there are a lot of answers I don't have; this is new, scary, and slightly uncomfortable.  I'm one of those lucky ones - life has opened many doors for me, I've always been able to choose, which ones do I want to keep open and which doors I decide to shut. I'm not sure what one, or many, of those decisions I made were right or wrong, but they've led me to where I am today.

Is this a mid-life crisis or what? It seems a bit early for that but heck, who knows, right? Time isn't real, it something we have coined; yet it is as real as real can be--it just keeps moving, there is no going backward!  The last year has been full of changes, surprises and miracles. Mostly good, some tough, but learning experiences nonetheless. I've learned more about how humans function, and treat each other in America, than I'd like to have experienced. It has been one of those- maybe now is a good time to run back to small town America and hide from all the ugly I've found. Yet, amongst that ugly has been greatness- to name a few, but certianly not limited to-- a great husband, great friends who really care, wonderful dog, great families in which allow me into their homes and trust, and of course, some great bosses.  I have admit, I don't think you can find that without having spent some time with the ugly. As I've also learned of-- money, greed, politics, control, and having to stand up for what I really feel in my heart is right against pressure and lots of it. Those experiences have really helped me to define who I am, who I want to be, and who ultimately I will become.

My hubby was a bit right on when I met him several years ago, its not about the material possessions, nor the money. I won't really say I ever considered myself a materialist but as you get older and accumulate more stuff, I found, I had more than I needed (and quite frankly wanted)! Ya know, the car, the house, the school loans, the bikes, the travel, the clothes and on and on and on again. I figured out one thing that which fulfills me is not the things listed above. Its the kids and families I work with, its the relationships I have with people, its about giving  back, and having time.. Time for my family, my dog, the community, my friends and for myself (yes, myself)! Try to balance that with working 3 jobs, exercising, blogging, eating healthy, travel, visiting family, etc! It gets tough!

So where does that leave me know. It leaves me with a lot of questions...some that I don't have answers to (which this perfectionist struggles with)... Do I want kids? Heck, forget the kid question, I ask the same thing about getting another dog. Do I want to be closer to our families? Could we stay in Colorado or could we leave? What do I want to be career driven? And all this has me feeling a little off kilter going into 2013. Most of our friends are in the kid stage, or the divorce stage (4 couples this year alone--sad), they are either stay at home moms or knee deep in their careers. No one has to say anything, I feel the pressure and the thoughts- "you're married, you're 31, you're running out of time." Do I want kids, sure I do...But do I want to travel, sure I do. Do I want to be successful in my job, yep that too! So what comes first? Where do we want to settle down? Do I want to settle down (as in stationary in one place for the rest of my life)...now that scares me a little!

Ultimately in the end though, I've found if you live your life with the best interest of others at the base of your morals, then things somehow start to work out. In the end, we don't have much time and we need to spend what we do have doing things we enjoy! So given that, here are the resolutions I've mapped out for 2013:

1. Become more connected with the community- attend community, charity, sports events.

2. Date my husband again- make time for US!

3. Lose 10 pounds --yes that is in there- I feel better, have more energy, and can do more for others.

4. Say goodbye to my school loans!

5. Keep my caseload low- with all the demands of the job that come long before seeing a client- this is important. I need to uphold ethical considerations, always put the family/child first, put reinforcement on top, analyze data, and make program adjustments.

6. Get Movin- make sure I make time everyday for a workout or a meditation!

7. Check facebook, twitter, pintrest only 2x per week!

8. Eat Clean!

I will be breaking each of these down into smaller more managable chunks, as I outlined in my article on goals at Peak-Body-Nourishment.

Slow Cooker Thai Chicken Tacos

One of my favorite yummies for dinner!

Serves 4, Cooker time: 6 hours, Hands on Prep: 20 minutes

Ingredients:
4-5oz boneless chicken breasts
1 cup low sodium chicken broth
2-3 cloves of garlic
2 tbsp fresh lime juice, divided
1 tbsp low sodium tamari sauce (or amino acids)
2 tbsp all natural PB
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 tbsp red curry paste
1 1/2 tbsp coconut flour
1 roma tomato, seeded & chopped
1 cucumber, seeded & chopped
1/2 cup red onion chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh mint
1tbsp natural rice wine vinegar
2 cups shredded cabbage
8- 6 in tortillas

1. chicken in slow cooker. In blender combine broth, garlic, 1 tbsp lime juice, peanut butter, tamari sauce, ginger, curry paste blend until smooth and pour over chicken. Cook & cover on low 6-7 hours.

2. stir and increase heat to high. Remove chicken and transfer to cutting board, set aside until cool enough to handle. Remove 1/2cup mixture from slow cooker and transfer to a small bowl. Add coconut flour to bowl and stir to form a smooth paste. Return broth-flour mix to slow cooker and whisk until smooth- cover.

3. over 350 degree F, tortillas in two stacks, cover with foil. Transfer to baking sheet - bake 15-20 minutes

4. Using fork, shred chicken and return to slow cooker, stir to coat. cook 10 minutes until heated through.

5. meanwhile in med. bowl, combine tomatoes, cucumber, onion and mint. Add vinegar, remaining 1 tbsp lime juice. mix thoroughly. To assemble spoon cabbage, chicken and tomato, cucumber, mixture into center of each tortilla, divide evenly.

Calories: 397, Fat: 8g, Carbs 39g, Fiber 7g, Sugars 4g, Protein 42g

Quick Wedding Recap- Life is a wonderful, exhausting, experience!

Let me start with Happy St. Patrick's Day! Daniel and I sit here quietly at a coffee shop enjoying watching the festivities outside!

Has spring sprung? This entire week we've been in the 60s, the countdown to summer is on, the sun is shining, and my eyes are itchy, burning, red followed with a stuffy/runny nose and people asking me if I have pink eye or am sick. My body is adjusting to running in warm weather and I am longing for my bike.... Yep, sounds like spring! Who is excited? I am!

This past month has been full of exciting events and challenges. I married my best friend on February 24th! Needless to say, if you haven't heard the wedding story-its a bit of organized chaos! I had everything in boxes, everything set up, ppt with pictures made....I was determined this was going to go as smooth as possible. Lesson learned: weddings don't usually go as planned or "smooth" in that manner. However, they somehow have a way of turning out just perfect :) Daniel's mom called him almost everyday the week prior to the wedding, worrying about the weather-- no big deal! As the day grew closer, I was more and more confident everything was going to go "just as planned." Family started arriving on Wed. The weather was perfect. I got the phone call stating everyone was in Denver--whew they made it and I was asking myself "why the heck am I at work?" I get to work my whole life and my family is in the state. I proceeded to go into the next meeting without my phone as I was starting to throw a little pitty party for myself and torn between the "good employee" and the "I want my life to be filled with time around my loved ones and people that care about me." Then....My beloved grandmother fell upon her arrival at DIA: broken hip.... I rushed home from work in an attempt to get to the hospital that evening....heck all I had wanted was both my grandmothers to be there. I picked up my dress early, I text the flower lady to see if I come get the flowers early cause I wanted to get to denver.... I had all the boxes labeled, I was sure Daniel could pack up and get all the stuff needed. The "flower lady" called:
 "Your wedding is on the 24...!!??"
Me: "We are in the mountains you stated you'd deliver on the 22nd."
Flower Lady: "I haven't even started your order!"
Me: "I'm at the bank, trying to get to Denver...I'll call you later." As I started to chuckle (a creepy, hysterical one)... Deep breaths...bank, home, talk with Daniel, get to Denver.

7:00pm- guests arrive at our house, I'm less than welcoming.. I've been crying about my grandmother for an hour... and asking "why?" I didn't want her to miss it!

7:30pm- High wind advisories- I'm driving Daniel's truck.. No Denver

we'll just jump to Thursday morning (one day before the wedding).
5am- Daniel and I are up, sleepy eyed and brewing coffee
6am- truck packed and we are on the road- almost all schools in the area are closed. Snow is coming down in buckets, wet snow, highway is a mess.
12:00 NOON- we arrive in Denver. Yes, 4 hours! But I get to see my grandma just before she enters surgery- thank God!
Pass over Berthoud Closed....shortly after that I-70 west of Denver, guess? CLOSED! Our guest that have flown in are stuck in Denver. Everyone heads to Colorado Mills Mall and waits. Daniel, my mom and stay at hospital- roads closed are a silent blessing - I didn't want to leave the hospital until Grandma was out of surgery and with all the roads closed- it made that a very easy and comfortable decision!!! Thank God!

At this point, wedding rehearsal is canceled, dinner moved back 2 hours..... Weather is cold, blowing wind/snow, cold, grey sky, did I mention, COLD?... And really I'm not stressing about it.

Friday...Wedding Day.... Went Great! Several things didn't go great, but honestly, Grandma was out of surgery, all went well and it put it all into perspective. Daniel and I would get married, no matter all the challenges! The skies cleared, blue, fairly warm and we went to the top!

Awwhhh.. See it was beautiful! Still wish Grandma could have joined us but her health is most important by far!

Then my birthday! Being treated with a honeymoon to Antigua!

We'll get to the job next! Future is bright and I am happy! Enough for tonight though, I'm exhausted and it is way past my bedtime. Good Night! Not to mention, there are some really entertaining people watching to wrap this evening- Happy St. Patty's Day!

Allergy/Asthma Natural Remedy

Not sure if the warm weather has brought itchy, puffy, red burning eyes to anyone else yet this season but it kicked off for me this morning with a bang! I have to admit each year I've watched (felt) my allergies become a bit worse and a bit worse...but today has topped them all so I looked up some natural remedies. Hope this can help you as well!
 
Asthma

Studies on herbs in asthma have shown benefit when compared to placebo, although many studies are poorly designed. Helpful herbs in asthma include Chinese herb mixes, Tylophora indica (Indian ipecac), and to a lesser degree, Boswellia serrata, butterbur and saiboku-to (TJ96). On the other hand, Picrorrhiza kurroa has not been shown to be effective in the treatment of asthma. Despite some promising results with use of the above herbs, a careful review of these studies shows no convincing evidence that herbs are helpful in the treatment of asthma.



Allergic Rhinitis

Studies on herbs in allergic rhinitis have been the more promising, with at least two studies on the use of butterbur in the treatment of allergic rhinitis. One well-designed study showed that butterbur was equivalent to cetirizine (Zyrtec®), while another showed that butterbur was equivalent to fexofenadine (Allegra®). Another well-controlled study on perennial allergic rhinitis showed that biminne was effective for allergic rhinitis symptoms compared to placebo. Finally, a well-designed study showed that a Chinese herb mix was more effective on allergic rhinitis symptoms than placebo.

However, other studies using butterbur show no difference over placebo in treating symptoms in people with intermittent allergic rhinitis. Grapeseed extract was also not found to be helpful in the treatment of seasonal allergic rhinitis.

While herbal supplements do show promise in the treatment of asthma and allergic rhinitis, there are some clear drawbacks. Herbs are not without side effects (some extremely dangerous), and have known interactions with many prescription medications. Herbal supplements are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration in the same manner as prescription medications, so purity is not guaranteed. Therefore, it makes little sense to take herbal supplements because they are safer than prescription medications.

Tools to Combat the Flu

So, 10 days and counting and of course I've come down with the flu. Congestion & fever are just a few of the symptoms worth noting.  In an effort to kick this sooner than later I am utilizing some over-the-counter medicine among several natural remedies. I'm not promoting over the counter use- actually I usually almost always try to steer clear of them, but like I said I need to kick this sooner than later.

However, I will advertise and promote the natural remedies:
Homemade Cream of Mushroom Soup (no cream, instead and avocado based cream)
Rooibos Tea (a South African gem)
Berries (cranberry, blackberry, raspberry, strawberry)
Apples (red delicious, granny smith & gala)
Plums (black plum, regular plum)
Beans (red kidney bean, pinto bean, black bean)

Supplements:
Emergen-C
Vitamin D (beware this is a lipid soluble vitamin- means you can take too much)
Calcium
Omega 3 Fish Oil

Lets see how quickly I can kick this thing in the rear. I'm oh so excited (not to be sick) but this is the first time this school year I've been down for the count. I've had a few slight colds here and there and have been able to fight them off quickly and without missing work.

Two Weeks and Counting...I'll be getting hitched!

I thought it was an appropriate time to blog! It has been so long, I just don't seem to find the enter button these days.

Life is moving at mock speed and I just can't seem to slow it down but we are in the final stretch. Feels like yesterday and oh so long ago all at the same time when Daniel and I were sitting in our living room and he proposed after dinner out one night. Wala, and just like that the planning started and went and went some more.

I'd say it (the planning) was pretty uneventful (meant in the best way possible)! Uneventful in this sense that months ticked away and we checked to dos off our list, working on it only when we wanted to. We stayed ahead of schedule and had the ball rolling the whole time. I had a goal and that was to enjoy the process and enjoy we did! Take a look at some of our engagement photos at:

Allison Easterling

and

Tim Bresnahan

I was so very happy with both photographers. Both have a very different style and were able to capture some great unique photos of Daniel and I just the way we are!

So..in two weeks I'm hitched! I can't believe it, it will be such a beautiful day getting to spend it with our closest friends and family! : ) I can't wait to enjoy the day! I'm getting so excited but like everything its a balancing act for me. Trying hard not to get sick and to stay focused on work, training, eating right, the dog, and the wedding is a bit challenging but well worth it! He's a great guy and I'm lucky... stay tuned to see pics from the wedding!

Just out to find the better part of me ~Five For Fighting

I haven't really blogged in a long time, but my mind has though of plenty to write. I just can't seem to find the time to sit down at the computer and make it happen. When I do sit down, its like a blank slate; I feel so uncreative. Most of my ideas come to me when I'm running or walking the dog.

Maybe its a mid-life crisis (does that happen this early?) but I've just been freaking out lately. I don't like the things that define me, I'm not who I want to be, who I used to be. Work consumes me....Fall is my most favorite time of year but its my most stressful for some reason the last 3 years. I manage it by working out and even that this year is falling off the scale and is, at best, inconsistent.

I'm ready for something new, some new challenge, new experiences, new something. I can't figure out, if this is just what it is. I dare to think not, it can't just be this way. Life is just happening right now, I don't feel free. I feel stuck in the norm. In a world where health is at its worse, jobs define who people are and leave little satisfaction.

Don't get me wrong, nothing is "that bad." A lot of things are great, but its just not what I expected. I miss being full of life, energy, and emotion. I have this hard time conforming to the norm, but I've become the norm.. Wake, work (maybe eat breakfast as you drive there), work some more, come home to exhausted to have much left for my dog, my fiance, let alone myself. Something has to change, something has to give.

I try to learn tips from my dog:
1. wag your tail no matter what- be excited when your loved ones walk through the door EVERY TIME, no matter if it was just two minutes ago when they left.
2. Life's just to short not to enjoy it, not to do it for yourself
3. play and enjoy it, run to run
4. give kisses, lots of them


I am sure he has many other lessons to send. Maybe I'll update the tips! Would it be bad if I became a coffee barista?

Day 1: 100 Days of Real Food

By the next 99 days I'm hoping this is a lifestyle after the way I feel today!! so fighting off the urge all day to eat sugar paid off. I had a stare down contest with the candy corn (which I don't even like) sitting on the bookshelf in my office. I walked into the classroom that I typically munch from (I know right where the goodie cabinet is) and I had to walk right out of the room, but I walked out.

By 3pm, usually when I am sinking and searching for sugar, I was full of energy today. AT my client's house at 5pm, I was feeling yet even better and oh so ready to come home to a nice home cooked meal! If I continue on this route I'm going to be feeling great.

Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of internal monologues with myself. Almost a fight going on inside my head...."eat the candy, no one will know." "Don't eat the candy. It's not real food, not good for you and makes you feel like crap."

Here was what I felt great off of today:
breakfast- one egg w/ swiss cheese
lunch- spinach salad w/ orange pepper, onion & Annie's Lemon & Chive salad dressing
Snack- medium gala apple (3pm)
Snack- handful of almonds (4:30pm)
Dinner- green tea salmon with a hefty salad (spinach, romaine, avocado, onion & carrot)
Dessert- spelt pretzels (I swear only 5 ingredients--no sugar, no white flour, and I could pronounce all the words) & 1 gluten free organic ginger cookie (4 ingredients none of which were sugar or white flour)!

Goal tomorrow- increase water intake and keep on feeling good..

This will keep me going:

Furniture Sale

Hello Everyone,

After a year of moving into our new home, Daniel and I have finally realized we need to get rid of some of our favorite furniture that just will no longer fit! Below are postings of my beloved Pier 1 table and a great large desk!

If you work from home, this desk is perfect to help you stay organized with plenty of work space. It also can work in an office location- $75.00 you won't find a deal like this anywhere!

The Pier 1 table above is very unique and fits in a variety of cozy spaces. Picture 1 is of its square shape. Picture 2 shows the table with the leaves folded out for more space for people if you needed to seat 6-8 vs. 4. I hunted for this table for over 2 years, so I am very sad to see it go but we do not have room for it. It is in great condition. Original cost was $300.00 we are asking only $150.00

If this isn't a message....

So spring break, here it is and almost over already! I refuse to acknowledge that it is Thursday already. Where does time go, really? Well in my midst of an epiphany this week, I am looking for a simpler life. I think I have been searching for this for a long time, but the signs just keep getting greater and greater and I can't help but recognize them this time around. In the past, I've failed to acknowledge these signs and ended up 20lbs heavier, with a broken foot, tearing an ACL or sick... Well this isn't gonna happen this time, I'm convinced. To make my epiphany even stronger, Daniel posts this from the Dalia Lama this morning on his facebook page:

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered "Man.... Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

I can't relate more to this quote since I've spent the last 4 years, yes since I graduated from grad school, running around, sick, always expecting, looking, searching, wondering, checking off to do lists and anxious about "whats next?"

My goal is to be in the present, give the present a chance. You never fully aware until your in the present moment and in a culture that strives off of what is next, this isn't an easy tasks but more than likely a much more fulfilling one!