// never ending game

Lately it becomes too often...
Feeling sick and depressed now...

//it came too often

Somedays you feel shitty...
But for me, it had for days...
I seek comfort, but I know I cant...

// i was never good to begin with

Had dinner with Sarah...
And it came to this...
"I've seldom see him smile these days"..
"I dunnoe if its work or family that has gotten into him"...

I had to agree...
And I went like "I think im nt gd enuff"
"I couldn't give the comfort and happiness he seeks"...
"I felt i had been a curse to him"
"Being with me, unhappy; without me also unhappy"
"Im emotionless and probably thats why its been tough on him"

I couldn't help but to tear up...
Maybe i wasn't meant to be happy to begin with...
What more to give happiness...

// screwed

Today was not any better...
I've screwed work and am feeling shitty about it...
On top of that, my dear had been moody...
I dunnoe what will happen...
And the implications im gonna get from work...
Due to a mistake i made...

Im praying hard that the worst will not happen :(

//its never had been

Overheard dad said to my mum...
"Oh forgot to SMS Liza Happy-Birthday"...
Saw him took out his phone to send an sms...
Got to admit, I was very sad...
Never once he wish me Happy Birthday...
and I can't recall if he ever did since I'm little...
maybe he hasn't at all...
well I know I had never once been a good son to any of them...

//fear

 What do you fear most?

I'm really afraid of losing my loved ones...
My friends and those who have shown me...
how much they took concern about my life...
and losing even one would saddens me...

i pray hard everyday that they stay close to me...
and I cherish every moment I have with them...