*rejection

Me: later I have to go Bugis to print
Thomas: oh ok. what time you will be there?

Me: Not sure what time the close... 5+ ba
Thomas: Oh see whether I can catch u ard there. Lol.
But I only knock off at 6pm.

Me: Oh lol
Thomas: No dinner date rite? But I'm sure I'll get rejected

Me: -.-"
Im meeting friends at 7pm but I have 1 hr to spare.

Hahaha apparently he always catch me when I'm busy or got plans....
and he says i always busy with dates...

Anyways, I did had a great time meeting Yessi, Zuli and Erfi yesterday...
Having them around, makes me forget about work for awhile...
its been quite a while since my last break...
Sigh work is killing me...

*first dates

And oh false promises is much like fake named
You painted a picture for me but there was no frame
You made my future look bright and I believed every word
I went to sleep on the clouds and woke up in the dirt
And now I'm without shelter and the wind is blowing
You say you'd be there for me boy when the tough got going
Said if weapons draw, you'd stand in front of me
Whenever I fell trapped, said you'd be the one to set me free
Thought you were my hero
But as it turns out you a no show
Tell me where

Isn't the first impression always a gd judgement?
Maybe you might say, its not always true...
But to me, somehow or rather it does...
It gives a big picture of the person itself as a whole...
and we are not talking about physical attributes here...
More towards how the conversation strikes and the mannerism...

well Sarah said we are often clouded by love...
even at the first meetup...
i couldn't agree more, coz the first date is usually...
something we hope would lead to more...
but there are instances that we know...
during the first meetup, it couldn't lead more...

i had many of that moments...
but nothing had came to what i've experienced yesterday...
i guess the person blew it...
and hence i cancelled the meetup at the 11th hour...
to me, what you said its a reflection of urself...
further more, I hardly know the person...
and painting it such just doesn't work for me....
so what if you're a good looker?
it affirms the stereotypes of such...

maybe kind souls don't exist anymore do they?
i rather erase all the greys than to make an effort to colour them bright...

*bliss

despite knowing that this prolly isn't the one im looking for..
i went still, just to get a break off work...
and the usual 2-weeks-no-date after knowing someone...
didn't really apply here...

i was glad there weren't any awkward silence...
indeed there were many engaging topics to talk about...
and the constant "you sure you don't wanna go the beach party"...
was thrown 30 times to me...
trying to persuade me to go, which I declined many many times...
at the end of the night, i feel relieved...
not to the fact that I've prolly met someone...
but the fact that I took a chance to meet someone new again...
and ending with prolly an engaging conversation about relationship...

i was really glad that Friday was well spent with frens too..
i had a random bf date with my ex colleagues at Macers...
and they always manage to bring luffters to the table...
really, a good start to the morning eh?
and soon thereafter, a lunch appointment with my NP kakis...
to my buddy's newly opened restaurant and lend him our support...
lunch, movies and dinner - a whole day affair...
with such company, it was really a bliss for a change...

i hope you guys would have a great weekend too...

*a Virgo date

i know its kinda too fast since the last breakup...
but i was asked out for a dinner date today...
to which I couldn't commit...
and postponed it to 2mrw night instead...

I usually have this rule...
to never date someone till 2 weeks...
just to get to know the person...
but somehow i said yes to this...
after knowing only 2 days...
(sound like a case of a desperado?)

so yeah, shall not expect anything...
and treat it as a casual dinner...
and would not be expecting more out of it...

geez, meeting new ppl is tiring...

is Virgo a good sign for me?

*pleasant surprise from Manila

I was greeted with a pleasant surprise...



Thomas' fren went to Manila for a holiday trip...
and my ex acts as a tour guide during their vacation...
so today Thomas went to meet his fren for lunch...
and insist to drop by my office then after...

he went "ur lover pass u some stuff"...
i tot he meant it jokingly...
coz it looks like his fren gave some souvenirs to him...
but yeah it was really meant for me

I really didn't think my ex would give me such...
hahaha not that he doesn't, but its quite surprising...
it somehow lightens my strings of bad morning mayhem today...

*parachute

I've heard it been played over the air many times...
and I couldn't figure out who was the singer...
till I found out it was Cheryl Cole's...

What really amazed me are all her MTVs...
They are very theatrical, not the Lady Gaga-ish kind...
Something along the line of Kill Bill's movie...



"I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won't tell anybody
Won't tell anybody
They want to push me down
They want to see you fall

Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around
I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound
Won't tell anybody
Won't tell anybody
They want to see us fall
They want to see us fall"

I'm feeling really really tired...
I prolly can sleep for 2 days w/o waking up lol...

*price tag

this two weeks have been a hell work week for me...
constantly working till wee morning...
well i kinda promised myself i have to work doubly hard now...
after gg tru some difficult times with the agency...
and hopefully all the effort i put in will reap off success...

it's also amazing how i see some of my frens...
reacted when i was down or having difficulties...
and the more grateful I am towards their gestures...
and sometimes i just dunnoe hw to repay all the gd deeds...
they have done during this low period of mine...

as much as i wanted to take a holiday...
a metaphor for me to dump all my troubles there...
at this stage, I couldn't and I have to deal with it...
and far more do I feel like there is a cause to celebrate my 28...
yes, geez im gg to be 28 in 2 weeks time...

*jinx

i'm fond of making rash decisions...
most of times, following my emotions at the point of time...
hence, thinking irrationally...

as you know, repercussions happen...
either quite early or at a later stage...
i've been quite disappointed lately...
all due to decisions I have made...
a lesson learnt I think....

now i feel like my whole year had started...
like a train wreck...
one after another...
I'm hoping something good would happen...
This year was prolly the lowest point in my life...

*needs a trip

Me: I'm thinking of going Langkawi early May...
Wendy: Oh with who?

Me: Alone. Just to clear my mind.

Wendy: What's there?
Me: Hmm food, island hopping, cable car rides, something like Phuket...

Wendy: Like that only? Ok let's go!!!
Me: -______-" when i say I'm gg with u?

I am still contemplating where to go...
Phuket, Bangkok, Bintan or Langkawi?

Im on a tight budget tho but I really need this break...
It's something I did when I last broke off...
and it really helps, so I hope this would too...
any good place to recommend?

-______-"

Can anyone get more hiao than this?

*war

"Getting kind of sick of this battle
Wish I could take it back to when I had you
Im always thinking that I can have you, just let him have you
Its getting kinda hard to convince you"

As much as I'm battling mine...
I'm all ears to others...
Maybe I'm better off a listener...
than to come to people and let them hear me out...

Maybe love never really exist?

*support

there was an accident yesterday on the way to work..
and i was stuck at a junction...
i received a call from my ex-colleagues...
who was driving beside me...
and i realised how i miss them so much since we last met...

over msn, I chat with vicki...
and told her how much I missed her later that morning...
i told her about the breakup...
and she lend her listening ears...
she asked if i wanted to do a meetup that evening...
and to much of my surprise, the whole gang was there...
and they went like "spill it"...

so a question was asked...
"if that someone comes back and asked you back, would you?"
and my obvious reply was a yes...
which was accompanied by a big "NO" from them after my reply...

I told them my intentions to go Shanghai...
and see if I could work out with my ex...
to which a big "no" from vicki...
coz she says she gonna miss me...
haha i told wendy too and she said she won't allow...

really, i was touched...
coz i used to not believe in sharing my problems...
till my close friends insist I should come to them...
a heart warming session...
and I'm truly blessed to have very good friends around...

Firus shared something with me this morning...
"U need double the time u were in a previous rs to be totally over it"
- Miranda, Sex in the City

Do you think it's true?
At least mine is...
which means im gonna still be single this year -___-"

*fight for this love

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse, curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt

Looking back, we fall for the same trap...
Falling for the same type of person...
Me, no exception, keeps meeting someone who doesn't wanna to commit...
or just afraid to go into one...

Are we too scared coz...
We get too hurt coz we know eventually...
there is a third party who is gonna break the relationship...
Or keep seeking for the someone better...
when we don't even make an effort...
to make the current work...
Or easily swayed by emotions?

When we look at a married couple...
Do you think when they first met...
Both meets each other's requirements?
Or do they accept each other's flaws
and thats when they are willing to commit?

Sometimes i feel we are asking for it...
Ever seeking a relationship and whine how it's hard to find one...
Only when we find someone, we shun away...
Not even trying to put any effort into it...

I'm really disappointed, coz I feel I'm being too tolerant...
and keeps lowering my expectations...
eventually hurting myself...

So my question is, are you willing to fight for this love?
If you are, my options are open...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thomas gave an advise that I should consider my ex again...
and go Shanghai to make things work...
since he said i still have concerns for my ex...
even Wendy said I should consider...
I'm considering this now, there's a lot to plan...
and lots to consider...
is it worth fighting for?