In another blink of an eye, 2025 is here. Happy New Year people! Work is okay, life is kind, and we got ourselves a condo unit in 2024 to live in. Shall work hard on upgrading my salary..



Happy New Year to all! It's 2024 already! Time passes really very quickly and 2021, 2022, 2023 were gone in the blink of an eye! I hope to start 2024 right with proper savings and leading a healthier lifestyle. Save money monthly, do exercise and cut down on bbtea!! Jiayou to myself! 

It's been near 6 months since I went back to my first employer. To be honest, I am getting sick of the place and how things are done, how things are restricted. It's like what I thought and how I felt when I decided to leave in 2016.. I know that work is the same everywhere. You get the same shit, you get the same politics and you get the same stress.. but I start to wonder if marketing is what I wanna do, or the type of stress that I dont mind having. Maybe it's just my own issue and the work and people are all good. Anyway I have to repeatedly remind myself not to get too stressed up about work - can then do, cannot then cannot, and it's not only my problem why the sales is not coming in. It has already been like this for many years and I tried but couldnt lift the sales.  I really tried. But due to restrictions, personally I didnt explore alot of my own ideas. It's basically the agency which my employer relies on alot. I hope to change away the agency one day so that we have new eyes and brains looking at an old problem.

Work has been very stressful ever since I went back. I would wake up in the night and experience quick heartbeat and anxiousness. During this long weekend, I started to think if I had regretted my decision. I started to consider staying home and being a work from home mum next year when I get pregnant and give birth to kids. I browsed through many websites and it seemed possible. I dont know if it is that I am trying to run away from difficulties. It seemed so to me. When I get bored at work, I complain. When I dont get to do what I want, I get upset. When I get to do almost what I want and the responsibilities and stress comes about, I hesitated. It just became very awkward in my position because I'm a senior executive but I got to do what the Managers do and it just feels weird that now I am roped into their normally 3-person discussions. My position is damn damn awkward to be honest. They need to loop me in for trade buyer related and such but I'm just a senior executive. This transitioning is becoming weird and stressful for me. Plus the same person who kept disrupting my peaceful work life is still there and is still causing chaos for us. And, honestly I dislike the fact that I receive msges from workplace people on work related during weekends. They keep sharing information and I just cannot see from the angle of how these would help, or whether things could be done or need to wait for the next working day. Cant they just leave us alone..? For now, I just need myself to not bring work stress back home. Please to myself. Please..

Work has been very stressful despite going back to a familiar environment.. there is often not enough time to accomplish what should be done for the day. There are also more people matters to handle here. I know work is tough everywhere. And people matters are inevitable everywhere too. But sometimes it's just so draining.. I just want to do my things and build my own portfolio.

Blogging as a Mrs on a bus from my own house to a workplace which my last day is in a week's time. That's 3 updates. Been living as Mrs since Dec 2017 and I must say that it does feel different with the change in status.

Living together alone in our own new house is fine too. But you'll really feel glued to each other like keep wanting the other party to be physically with you. Like I used to leave the house earlier myself before husband but recently just want him to accompany on the bus to bus interchange. And husband really left house earlier too. Next week with the change of workplace, will be able to have more choices of buses and maybe leaving house 5mins later? Haha..

I'm heading back to my first employer. They gave me a senior executive post and more things which I want to do. I know it's abit weird to go back. But it's still an environment that I am comfortable in and an environment which is better for my mental health and for future family planning.

We're still short of our honeymoon trip for now. Had an empty pocket for months due to the wedding and house renovation which came together. Now we're saving up bit by bit so that we can have funds to go honeymoon. Cause after the honeymoon, we should be trying alr.. ;)

Shall update again after I return to the old workplace. Feeling abit nervous.

Happy 27th birthday to myself. Even as the end of today draws near, I still dont quite have the excitment of celebrating my birthday. Is it really because of age (that I'm getting older) or because there are just too much things going on these days? I wondered..

July is here. We just did our pre-wedding photoshoot locally last Friday. The day went by smoothly and the weather was really helpful! Did alot of twisting of our waist, legs, neck etc just to get the photography effect. We were even bitten by black ants. Super gross when they were crawling up my legs.. Overall was a good experience. Boyfriend was super shy to pose when we were outdoors and having audiences haha.. will be able to see our photos after 2 weeks before they take to edit. Cant wait..!!

Quote from a post in Thought Catalogue...

You don’t have control over what happens to you in life but you do have control over how you respond to what happens.

It’s a simple yet important reminder.

It’s important to just breathe because things will work out somehow, they always do.

It’s time to let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can control, including your reaction to the situations in front of you.

It's been a while since I wake in the middle of the night again due to work stress. My mind would just suddenly drift to work related problems and I would wake up feeling anxious about the work. It's definitely not healthy. Need to learn to keep my mind off work when I am off work haha

On a happier note, the completion of the house is in end May which means key collection probably in Jun/Jul. And we have purchased our wedding bands!

Too much noises.

Just saw a random post on fb of things you realised at age of 27 and there was this statement..

10. The wings of saying “no.”

You learned to say “no” when you don’t want to and not allowing FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) guide where you go. It’s really important to think about what you care about and then do these things proactively.

I really really support this statement. Sometimes you can learn or see more things when you go against the main stream.. FOMO is a bad friend.

Another one month has flew past and it's already April of 2017. Can we slow down the pace?

It's going to be a busy month at work in April because my company is participating in the food fair mid of this month and I have a campaign that runs next month.

Personal life wise, we're still running around getting renovation quotes and we've started sending informal invites to chop friends for the date.

When the going gets tough, it's the people around us who keeps us strong.

Therefore, I conclude that be it work or personal life, the people around me is important.

I'm heading for a family trip one week later and because my work is piling up and might not be able to finish in time, I'm getting all stressed up and I will always wake up in the middle of the night. Somehow from a normal dream, my mind would gradually change to thinking about the tasks that I have on hand. Then I will wake up. Short time line with too much uncertainties at work.

On a happier note, we have finalised the gowns and suits for pre-wedding photoshoot and actual wedding day..

Hello!

It's been months since I last blogged and checked out people's blogs. The last time I updated my blog was in November before a trip. Let me just blog the most memorable events in each of the months that I left out to update.

November'16
It's a memorable month because Arthur proposed to me during our trip to Melbourne. It was our first trip to Australia which we are not familiar with. We had plane delayed from Singapore to Melbourne. The plane was supposed to take off at 12midnight but it only took off at 4am in the morning. To make matters worse, our next rest stop was 10pm in the night. We did not have enough rest and the boy actually proposed on the first day of the trip out on the cold beach. It was quite romantic because there were only the two of us, by the beach.

December'16
We went to have our marriage date calculated in early December. It was such an experience for us. Had to pay the Master lady an amount for her to look at a book to pick out the dates for us. Felt it was abit not worth the money but still be main stream and believe in picking auspicious dates.. hahaha! Our date is in December!

January'17
This is the month where we collected our last batch of red packets because during CNY of next year, we would join sis in distributing red packets to friends and relatives. It sounds fun to me, but it's only the start. Anyway, some people say that the newly wed couple can be excused from the first year of distribution. A few relatives even gave my sis and bro-in-law red packets saying that newly weds are still entitled for it during the first year. It came as a surprise to us because we have never heard of this before. I happily collected some red packets at Arthur's work place as well because they had a family visit CNY day. It was quite interesting. In total, I managed to collect about 40+ red packets. This quantity feels much more than previous years. Was totally happy!

February'17
This month, there was Valentines' Day and I received a bouquet of flowers from Arthur who was still in Taiwan for his work trip on that day. Was elated! This month, I am busying trying to jump ship. I hope good news come soon. *Cross finger*

Moving forward, there's just so much to prepare for the house and our wedding during the weekends. Quite exciting but busy!

I'm confirmed by my new company after the three months probation. Now, I only need to do half day work on alternate Saturdays. Three months seemd fast for the rest but it was crawling for me. Well.... I made it!

This thursday night, I'll be heading off on a short holiday trip. My first rest stop after changing job. It's madness how my last day was a Friday and my first day was on the coming Monday. My only rest were the 2 days in between. Since I am confirmed, I can finally take a rest..

Was flipping through my msn chat history and past fb posts. Looking through history can make you feel like relieving certain moments in time but it would also remind you of why certain things have became the way they are today. There are also certain things which I'm not sure why they turned out the way they did.

Recently, life at work has been better in the sense that it's less depressing although workload is higher. Previously I can be very depressed for the entire week or so but now the depressing period is about one or two days only. Depressing when I meet with obstacles that made me feel that I'm all alone and that the blame is all on me.

When I was in the previous company, I would only go to the toilet cubicle when I am too frustrated at someone or something that I need to scream into my cardigan (muted) and cool myself down. Now, I go to the toilet at times to let my tears roll due to the stress and burdens at work.. It's like a relief of my emotions. If I do not do that, I would feel very upset and keep holding back my tears. Letting it out then continue back at work seems better.

15th Nov would be my last day of probation. This is how far I have survived..

Today is my 26th birthday! Yeah, time flies and I am not even 25 years old already.

Past 2 months have been quite a challenge for me. The portfolio that this new job can give me would be beneficial for my next job move (which I didnt intend to make when I initially did the current move). But the people that I report to directly, doesnt "help me" in this challenging jobscope that I have. So far, I'm glad that I have a new team mate onboard..

I am not confident that I can handle all the things that are coming to me, but I should definitely try without expecting too much from myself.. I should learn to have the bo chup attitude at times.

On a side note, I know and I appreciate that I have friends who would be my listening ears when I need places to relieve my emotions..

It's 26 Sep and one month plus after being in this new work environment. Honestly, as I hands on on more projects and being able to handle them, I feel that I am more confident while I am still adapting. But still, I do not like this job as much yet. Reason number one is that this is 5.5 day work. And for all saturdays during this 3 months of probation, I need to work every weekend. Second reason being that there is no 20 year olds in this office. I have no same age friends to talk casual with, unlikely last time. My friend said that it's because I am working in industrial area. So if I want to mingle with young colleagues, I need to go more central.. okay this is fair. Anyway, a new colleague would be coming in on the 10th.. I heard that she is 20plus too. Sounds like a companion at work.

It's good that I dont cry as frequently as I did in the first month. I remember having to wake up at 3am on 14 Sep and not being able to sleep back. Then I scrolled through online job portals and even typed a resignation letter. My parents were shocked and my Dad said that I shouldn't give up. The me at that point only wondered why they did not think in my shoes. I felt that it was easy for them to say but it was really really very taxing on me emotionally. Then I went to office and touched on this topic with the GM. He said I need to get over myself, my own barriers. 4

I need to give myself 6 months at this right? That's what alot of people have been telling me. There are alot of basic things which I dont know how to do, like inventory stock forecasting and sales projection. I hope to be able to learn and better handle the things the jobscope here.

On a side note, I think my quality of life has been affected by this work arrangement.

It's going to be a month in this new company. I'm still stressed out. Is it because I put others' expectations upon myself? Is it me giving myself pressure also? Although I'm new to the company, I'm not new to the industry. That's why I feel that I should be able to perform up to a certain standard. But because things are thrown to me to settle halfway with no proper handover and guidance, I did not manage to do my work properly. If I am a fresh grad today in this new company, I guess I would have lesser expectations for myself and I would feel better than now.

I know that because I am not new to the industry, there are certain things that they feel I should already know and be able to do. But it's not that case because the situations are new to me. The fact that there is only expectations and no guidance made me feel pressured at work.

Will the situation be less mentally taxing when I pass 3 months here? Will the situation be less mentally taxing when they hire another one with the same designation as me? If I am not the only new face shouldering all that pressure and attention from old birds, would it be better? Will this situation be the same no matter where I work as long it is within the first 3 months?

I really hate that I would always wake up in the middle of the night because my mind is on work. My brain exercises too much thus keeping me awake. I really want and need to rest well so that I have the energy to pull myself through this difficult period. I cannot just give up like this. I need to be brave and determined. And I would need to reduce the expectations too.

It's a week since I started my job in a new company. Having to have worked in the previous company for 4 years, it had became my comfort zone. Thus, moving to a new company challenges myself to go out of my comfort zone.

To be honest, the first two days were quite tough for me. I had the urge to break down and I really did. I had thoughts that asked myself why did I moved out of my comfort zone? How much would they have given me since they were planning to promoter me to senior executive? Is it worth for me to be doing this - moving out of comfort zone? I had to remind myself that during the 3rd year in ex company, I was completely firm that I had to get out to learn more in a new place. I was firmed that it was time to move on.

For now, I need to be determined to make myself sink into the new company's culture, work and people. I cannot just retreat because I am out of my comfort zone. It's just not right.. This fight of thoughts made it difficult for me during the first two days in this new company. I struggled in my thoughts and I stressed myself out. I wondered how come others are able to keep changing jobs and environment, and they are still coping well. I wondered if it was because my last job was 4 years compared to someone whose last job was 2 years each and thus easier for the person.

One week down the road, I am learning to get used to the 5.5 day work week as well. I am too used to 5 day work week since it has been 4 years. For now, I have not really OT-ed since I do not have much projects on hand yet. I hope that I can still get work life balance even when the projects start to come in..

I really really hope that next week and onwards would be better. I need to encourage myself and not retreat. I need to be a brave girl since I am the only new face in the office.

It's been months since I last blogged.

March saw me being busy trying to rush for my April Campaign in order to . In April, I went to Taiwan with Xinee on a 10 days journey. We went from Cingjing aka Nantou, Taichung, Tainan, Kaohsiung and then to Taipei! In Taichung, we went to Alishan and got sunburned. We felt cold so we parked ourselves in the sun. What we forgot was that Alishan was high up in the mountains thus we were closest to the sun and that was how we got sunburned. It was fun travelling around Taiwan than just going to Taipei alone. I have already been to Taipei for two times. Thus this 3rd trip was more fulfilling though there were challenges too.

May flew by again because I was preparing for my June campaign. Actually June might fly by soon also because I will be preparing for two July campaigns. The low peak season for this year would be July and August because after my 2 July campaigns, the next will be in October and November. Those two will be my biggest projects of the year. And then, another year would pass and it would be 2017.

Oh! My sis is getting married this September. I am half looking forward to it, and half not.. because she would no longer be staying under the same roof as me..

In July, I will be attending my uni friend's wedding.
In August, I will be attending my colleague's ROM.
In September, I will be helping out at my sis' wedding.
In October, I will be attending my uni friend's wedding.

How awesome, right?

What does it mean when you go to work and do not remember the details of surrounding when you made it there? I feel like I am always on the same process when I go to work. For the past few years. It has sort of became a habit or a condition. When my alarm rings, I wake up to prepare myself, have breakfast and make my way to the train station. Then I take the train to Lakeside and wait for my company bus, reach office with my colleagues and get started on work. I'll have lunch at 12.30pm and then end work at 5pm. It's starting to feel like a cycle to me, yet again. The last time I had such a feel, I am not motivated to work. It's just pure sianzation. This is bad, really. It's not that I am overworked. It's just that my learning here has sort of slowed down. I dont really like it. Is it really because I have stayed long enough here? Why are people shocked when I tell them I have been here since graduation? Oh well.. Luckily my planned break is coming. I need the holiday.

How long can you keep quiet while hearing someone convincing you of something which you might beg to differ? We would often feel that the person is lecturing or even nagging once we are not on the same side of the fence. But then again, sometimes it's still good to hear what others think.

Once again, I am placing all my eggs in one basket. It's the third time already. They say things will always happen the 3rd time if there is a 1st and a 2nd. There was a 1st, and a 2nd. I really hope the 3rd would not happen. Really cross my finger.

On Wednesday I followed my sister for her pre-wedding photoshoot. It was a long and tiring day. After my own experience of being the 'assistant', I will try my best not to involve anyone else (other than boyfr and I) for my own pre-wedding photoshoot. And I will try to have lesser dresses or locations.

Today is one of the days I typed the most chinese characters on my phone. I was communicating via whatsapp and Line with taiwanese taxi drivers to get quotes for taxi rental tours! Then I realised it's really difficult to reply quickly because I need to form up the sentence in my mind, search for the words via han yu pin yin then I form out the statement. Good channel to practise my han yu pin yin though hahaha!

What do they mean when they say "What happens in xxxx, stays in xxxx"? Does it mean that we are not supposed to remember or bring the issue up and just gonna pretend nothing happened? Hahaha..

It's end of February. Next month would be the end of 2016 1st quarter. Time really flies.. and people age fast. Just saw the a tv commercial of a local insurance company. A daughter looked at her father for 4 mins and realised how much her father has aged. It's something that we don't realise. Our parents are ageing as time flies. Spend more time with them.

Just came back on Monday from Bangkok with P and S. This is my 2nd trip which involves friends for an overseas trip. Both trips comprised of some unhappiness. Maybe the issue is me hahaha I need to go only with friends who are on the same page with me. I have an upcoming trip with a friend as well. Not sure how it would go but I think it would be better than the most recent trip. 10 days together with only the 2 of us might be a challenge too hahaha.

It's 3 days to Chinese New Year! I'm anticipating it because I'll get to eat plenty of goodies. Grow even fatter during this festive season then attempt to slim down for my sister's wedding. Heh heh!

As I was going up the escalator at the train station earlier, I overheard a conversation between a group of students.

One of them was telling the rest, "You know now you tap the ez-link card and you get a double beep sound? When you have passed the JC stage, you will only hear a single beep sound on 1st Jan. That's when you know you have grown older."

I recalled that the very same thought occurred to us, but it has already been few years since...