Somehow, i miss secondary life..
Especially the funs we had in secondary 5!
): Miss everything..
I used to wake up like less than 30mins before school starts..
NOW?!?!
I have to wake up more than 1 & 1/2 hour earlier.
Zzzzzzzz

How i wish Ngee Ann poly is just opposite my house.
Day dreaming ~

THE GREATEST CHANGING PLAN IN MY LIFE:

• Body-Piercing Free
• No Cigarette and Alcohol
• Study Hard
• Better hairstyle
• Lose fats
• No vulgarities
• Dress more decently
• Be clever
• Earn alot of money in the future
• Be wise on choosing friends
• Be more gentle
• No attitude
• Be patient

& Wait for my LL.

Though ...... , but .......
Ya i understand how you feel.

Okay back to the point!
school is getting more and more fun, than i expect!
Of course, it could only happen with my dearest classmates!
Ya but today's schedule was like 10am - 12pm,
1 hour break and then 1pm - 8pm, go home.
?!?!?! haha
actually its not very tiring also la!
okay, i better go sleep now!
Tml's lesson starting at 9am!!!
Ha!

Nights peeps!(:

You chose this path for our relationship.
Okay i respect your decision, and i'll let you go.

Okay..
Come back to posting!
Went for movie '17 again' just now.
Was awesome and funny, however, unrealistic.
Its impossible for someone to experience such thing.
Haha, people go watch it!
And you will realise how important ppl around you are.
And don't regret when its too late.

k bye

Why guys are always like that?
When they are wooing someone, they will say...
"I really love you so much, I promise i will love you forever"
"can you be my girlfriend?"

They can make you love them so much even more than they love you.
And then you leave when you really love them.

I hate this kind of feeling.
My fucking mother is everyday bugging me about the fucking issue that i don't wish to bring up.
She is always asking "why you two broke up?" "what happened"
I scold her and ask her away she will like " i want to know what happened"
Then she will start guessing.
Please la. I really cannot stand it alr..
I tried my best not to think bout it, and you are trying your best to make me say about it.
Ya life's fucked up.

Anw, school is tiring today as i didnt had enough sleep last night.
however i still went for the dance party in school from 7pm to 11pm at night.
The timing is quite short la.
Though its quite fun but they didnt serve alcohol.
Ha, the who drive us out to buy some to make ourselves feels a little more high.
After that it was like 'Wow'!
Love it man.
Non stop dancing! But its kinda stuffy inside because too many ppl queezing together infront.
Ha. okay bye gtg.

Ya maybe i am just so fucking ugly, fat, and irritating to you.
That makes you leaves me.
Fine.

Its over.

Though i still can't let go, but i have no choice...
He say its impossible.....
I don't know how long do i need to heal the injuries in my heart.
Even if it heals, there will still be scar.

He is the first man i ever really love.
I believe this is true love...
Its like, even if i've got everything of him...
I still feels i haven got enough of him.

Its my fault to cause this relationship to end up this way.
sorry.
I still love you so much.

The 10months and 10days being together with you is the happiest period in my life.
I will never forget the sweet moments we had together and the memories you left behind.
I will also never forget you, my best boyfriend ever.
I love you, my best friend jerome.

our nine monthsary. we took this at the romantic singapore river side. rmb dearest?



















We took this during mid autum rmb?we looks so loving.cant everything return to normal?



















rmb? we went to study at parkway parade's library..
you wearing the shirt i bought for you. I know its not very nice , but you still wore it.
















this day we went to katong. You accompany me to go alter my bottom.

when we just got together a few days.. we are at mac studying. rmbb? i still love you so much...can you hug me again like you used to do?

Today i saw you at tampines.
Thinking that you saw me too but you said you didnt.
Seeing you talking to a girl presenting a wide smile on your face,
it seems so stranger to me.
Maybe i am really not good enough for you.
Maybe you doesnt love me anymore.
Maybe you are really not happy with me.
I cried again and again and again...
I dont know whats wrong with me.
I just love you so much.

Someone once told me, it is fate that brings people together.
And it isnt easy to find someone you really love and who loves you too.
You have to go through alot alot of obstacles to test your relationship.
I haven and never give up, had you gave up alr?
I really can't bring myself to let you go...
I just love you so much than i love myself.

Please don't give up on me.
Can you give me another chance to love you and care for you?

we went to celebrate our 2nd month. We ate swensen chocolate fondue at marina sq, rmb? Then we watch firework as it is national day. that is the first time i watch live firework with my bf.
















we went to study at airport during O level period, rmb?


















we went to eat at yuki yaki on our 1st monthsary. you insisted to treat me eat yukiyaki, rmb dear?

we went to downtown eat and play. This is after we play at night rmb the blinking lights? we took our picture there. dear i miss you...

I am still believing that you will tell me you love me and come back to me.
Am i wrong?
I don't want to give up on you, on our relationship.
I can't..
I don't know how to..

I still love you so much jerome.

this is the day we went to zoo. didnt we had fun?

the day you went japan. i missed you so much. And you emailed me when you are there, rmb? you said its very nice there, you missed me very much and you wish i were there with you.

when we are still in school, we always sit together. i miss sitting beside you for hours.

He once told me he likes me so much and wants me to be his girlfriend.
He once told me he will love me forever.
He once told me no matter what he will never leave me.
He once told me i will be his first and last.
He once told me he wants to be with me forever.
He once told me he wants to marry me.
He once told me i am special.
He once told me i filled his heart with joy.
He once told me he is only happy with me in his life.
He once told me he can't live without me.
He once told me he only likes me.

Now he doesnt wants me anymore.
He left me.
He left my life.
He left my life leaving those sweet memories.
He left my life giving me so many stabs on my heart.
He left, forever.

He told me i make him stress.
He told me he is not happy with me.
He told me he will not likes me anymore.
He told me he can't be with me.
He told me we are not suitable.
He told me he won't be with me anymore, now and forever.
He told me he wants to be friend with me.

But these are not my wants...
I can't take it, i really can't..
I cannot live without you in my life.
I cannot live without you with me.
I cannot live without your love.
I cannot live without your company.
I cannot live without your voice.
I cannot live without your hands.
I cannot live without your support.
I really cannot live without you, really really can't.

My heart is so painful that even 10panadols can't ease it.
Nothing can ease the pain except you.
Everywhere, anytime i see memories of me and you.
The memorable places we went together...
and we had funs, don't you remember?
Those memorable things we did together..
and we were happy, don't you remember?
The amount of time we spent together may not be very long...
but it isnt short either.
I really dont know the amount of time i need to heal from this pain.
It isnt easy for me to say let go and i can let go.
I really miss you.

Don't you still love me, jerome?

In the past few months, alot of things happened. I don't know why, I just can't let you go. Many times you told me that we shouldnt be together,but i really believe there is nothing we cannot solve together.

At this point of time, many people may be worrying bout how their school life will be. How are they gonna face the tough times with projects in the future. Or what will they being doing after 3three years of poly course. But i just don't know why, my worries are not all these. I am worrying about not being able to meet you so often in the future. Worrying bout drifting apart with you. Worrying bout losing you. Everything is around you, as if my world revolves around you.

I really really regret so much about the past. I really hope that i can turn back the clock to when we just got together. We wasted so much of our precious time together quarreling and breaking up. But when i browse through those photos we took together the past 10months, i really feel so happy. We had gone through so much together, which makes it even harder to leave you or to be seperated from you. You know, words really cant explain how much you mean to me.

I was always wasting so much time complaining bout how bad you are and so on. I am really sorry. Deep inside my heart, i always knew that you are very good to me. I know the change in you and your attitude towards me is partly my fault. You were once so good to me and care for me so much, yet i didnt appreciate you at that time. You gave in to me so much and i didnt understand it back then. Now i know you changed. Though i know you still love me, still care for me, still will give in to me, but you will never express it out.

I dont know why i stressed you out at times, but i didnt mean it. I really hope that you can feel easy and happy together with me. Now that i sense that things are different. I really have no idea what to do next to keep you with me. But what i can only do is to treat you better and love you as much as i can.

In the past, whenever i ask you " will you marry me?" you will always reply "yes". But now when i ask you, you will reply " dont know". I saved msg in my phone sent by you saying that "I want to marry you. i will love you forever". And " No matter what, i will always love you de" whenever i see these msg, i feel so happy. But i know things are different now. I dont know what will happen tml. I fear you will leave me anytime.

Chuaweiqi loves Jeromesern forever!
10months and 9days, 313days

I think i should learn not to take peoples so importantly.
I should not have place them first in my life.
I should not commit myself too much into something or to someone.
If only i had done so...
i wouldnt feel so pain.

I begun to dislike things i used to like so much.
This isnt what i wanted for the beginning...
I ... am lost for words....

This special day10062008
& even this30032009.

I feel that this time is for real,
no one is gonna attempt to make the other stay..

293,our last day.

I am afraid you didnt know,
i am serious from the second i agree to be with you..
I already changed quite alot since we are together.
But i guess you didnt know.
I loved you so much all these while...
And i had promised myself to make you my last.
But i am afraid i have to break the promise.
Goodbye my love.

Maybe i am not good enough for you.
Maybe we are no fated together.
Maybe we shouldnt start at all..
Leaving all these painful memories....

I really think i am almost perfect, but sometimes i have to admit i sucks.

Respectful
Honest
Patient
Gentle
Romantic
Kind/unselfish

HOW TO BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND
1) Be honest.
In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.

2)Don't brush them off.
People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)

3)Communicate.
Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.

4)Make physical contact.
Girls have much thinner skin than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you so much..." and weave your arms around her hips then give her a loving hug. Don't make it last too long! A hug in public can last anywhere from 5 seconds, to a minute or two. If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give light kissed on her lips /cheeks / forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence.

5)Give gifts as a surprise.
Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.

6)Mix things up.
Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.

7)Compliment them sincerely.
Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.

8)Let your partner be.
Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."

9)Take care of yourself.
Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.

10)Be your self, don't try to be somebody you're not because at the end of the day, if they love you they will love you for who you are.

It's not that i am money-minded, materialistic or crazy.
It's because i love you. I really hope to know that in your heart i am more important than money/materials(PSP,Handphone,bags etc)
I believe every woman in the world will want to know that their boyfriend can put aside their pride for them and take them as the most important thing in his life.
also, every woman in the whole will want to feel loved and cared.
I also believe that romance is part of a relationship and it is their to make a relationship stronger and happier.

But i've got nothing in a relationship.
I felt and got nothing everyone needs.

Sometimes i wonder why must quarrels occur because of unimportant people and unimportant things.

Sometimes i thought a good partner will let a matter goes even if its the other person's fault. Of course not when the person is really at fault. Sometimes i don't even know i am at fault. Why just can't let the matter goes and take it as nobody's fault?

But what can i do? I just love you too much.

my friends are complaining that my posts are very old. haha but its not that i do not want to blog. is that the website got some problems. anw, happy chinese new year to everyone.

Sigh, now i am getting more sick of my life each day. people around me can't seem to understant