It was a Ford F150. 2005. White with a tan stripe at the bottom. Short bed. 4-Door. Tan leather interior. An absolute beauty. As a lover of trucks, my heart was stolen. This car was my dream car.
It belonged to my older brother. Unfortunately, this was around the time when gas shot up to over $4/gallon. He couldn't pay for gas for it anymore. So, he did what he needed to do and put the "For Sale" signs up.
Utter. heartbreak. I was not ready to let go of this car! Someone else could NOT be driving it around my streets, basking in its glory and illuminating the road with its radiance. For weeks the sight of the red letters in the window made me consider wanting to think about crying.
[you know me.]
However, just as my brother didn't want to pay for gas for this truck, neither did anyone else. The car never sold.
And then, the unthinkable.
One night, my brother took me for a ride in the car. I was a new driver, about to get my license. He took me to the Toyota dealership nearby and showed me a small white Corolla. He told me, "I'm going to give the truck back to mom and dad [the car has always been in their name], and I'm going to buy the Corolla. And don't tell anyone, but you get to drive this truck."
.......WHAT????????
I could see the fireworks. Magic was real and dreams came true! I couldn't help but smile incessantly. This. truck.... was mine. Mine! It was too good to be true! :)
But... as it turned out, it WAS too good to be true.
My brother bought the Corolla and gave the truck back to my parents. My mom started driving the truck around. [INTERJECTION: This car floats. It is like driving on clouds. In heaven. With Lake Powell and Hokulia Shaved Ice. Pure magic.] Her feelings for the car grew. I got my license. As soon as I officially entered the driving world, my fate had been decided.
My mom's car was now the F-150.
My car [which was my mom's previously] was a Ford Excursion.
It was a "mom" car! I was in high school! IMAGINE the points I would have earned if I was driving this beauty around!
How. do you beat. that?? Impossible. All was lost. There was no hope for me anymore. In the words of Jon McLaughlin, I was "so close... so close, but still so far."
And so began the days of me and The Beast. :)
It wasn't so bad driving the Excursion. I had learned to drive in it as well as in my dad's F-350 [with a long bed], so I never felt swallowed, overwhelmed, out of control, etc. while I was driving this car. We instantly got along and a beautiful friendship was born.
Over the years of driving this car, we began to understand one another. I learned everything about how the car drives. I learned its quirks, its imperfections. I learned its strengths. I learned what made it happy: a full tank of gas, *ahem* excuse me. Diesel, and a long drive around the town. :) Later, I would learn that drives around the temple and up the canyon would make both my car and I very happy indeed. :) My car got me everywhere I needed to go safely, and in its own way (which I began to understand as our friendship grew), in style. :)
It wasn't long before I began to love this car. My car. My Excursion. :)
We had plenty of good times together. Countless. A few of the highlights include:
- Every. time. I started my car. My heart raced. :) You have to experience that one yourself. :)
- So many times rolling down all the windows and blasting my music. :) Those times were special every time!
- Coming out of work in the summers [freezing cold from intensive air conditioning], climbing in, shutting the door, and being enveloped in such glorious warmth produced by this massive black car with leather seats. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh :)
- Putting down all the seats and hanging out with my little brothers. :)
- Writing on my car just before I moved out for school. Daniel wrote, "Take a bath, hippy!" on the back passenger window and it stayed there for weeks. I became known for it by a few wardies, actually. :)
- So many dance parties with my roommates driving around on many adventures. :)
- Backing into a stall in our church parking lot while four very attractive men watched intently. Win, my dear Excursion. Win. :)
- Racing. Pushing 80 mph in a 35 mph zone. Rapidly shooting through narrow ways of cars and brick walls. Up and down hills and turning on a dime. We were quite the team. We NEVER lost. :)
- Discovering that homework in the back with all of the seats down was the greatest thing EVER. ...when it wasn't freezing outside. :)
- Driving around the temple with the sun shining.
- Driving up the canyon and looking out at the valley.
- Those last two reasons are why I am SANE. I can't express to you how it made us feel. My sanctuary.
You can imagine my heartbreak when it was suggested that I buy a new car.
Though I have accepted everything about this car, there was always one argument that I could never win with those who loved me most.
This car has a diesel engine.
Which requires diesel fuel.
Which is expensive.
Especially for a college student.
Over and over again, and growing increasingly more frequent, my family tried to convince me that I should not be paying as much as I was to fuel this car up. To be honest, they were right. They knew it, I knew it. But my pride and my love for this car joined forces and refused completely to let go. I form very intense attachments in my life. People, cars... it's never been an easy thing for me to let go. Ever. Still sucks. Bad.
However, a few events started to chip away at my fortress of a wall I had built around myself to protect myself from ever having to loosen my grasp on this car. Soon to follow, circumstances necessitated the induction of a new means of transportation in my life.
To make this next part of the story short, I was given a proposal. I would give the car back to my parents, and in return, I would get a Toyota Rav4. I had driven this car a few times, and I do like it. A lot, actually. But you have to understand. The whole situation was just hard to deal with.
And so, I agreed. Thinking the switch would be MONTHS away. Knowing it had to happen, but not crossing that bridge until I came to it.
A week later, I received a phone call.
I had just been appointed the primary driver of a Toyota Rav4.
I've been in shock ever since. I have a new car. I no longer drive my Excursion... I am deeply grateful for this car. I miss my Excursion, but I know it has to be this way and I do like the Rav4. I'm just going to need a little time to adjust. How am I? I've just had my heart ripped out. I've just received a gift that I don't feel like I deserve. A much, much needed, merciful gift that I don't feel I deserve at all. For many reasons. In shock is the only way I know to describe my feelings. An emotional time? Yes. Because of the cars and emotional circumstances I've found myself in in general. [Don't worry, I'm not completely crazy, getting all emotional over a car, only slightly. :)]
But this, my friends, is the end of a beautiful era. And the beginning of a promising new era.
And so begin the days of me and the Rav4. :)
life? life is good.
life is good, family is better, and God loves you. :)
