a system of control.

What should remain unchanged? 

How does knowledge of what should remain unchanged lend to our knowledge and understanding towards improving our mechanisms of re-regulation to provide sufficient observational protocols for certain variables? 

if something is not as it should be, it should be within our capacity to perceive and understand the source of the deviation, the justifications and reasons that it is not as how we are considering it should be at any moment.

hence, knowledge of paths and their deviation sources, and methods of what variables should be controlled, seems somewhat of importance. 

forgive me, i just watched a youtube video on control systems after reading an article about quantum supercomputing and thought about its sensitivities. call it nerd-landia.

i went to war last night

I went to war last night 

With an automatic weapon, don't nobody call a medic I'ma do it 'til I get it right 

 

I went to war last night 

I've been dealing with depression ever since an adolescent 

Duckin' every other blessin' 

I can never see the message 

I could never take the lead, 

I could never bob and weave 

From a negative and letting them annihilate me 

And it's evident I'm moving at a meteor speed 

Finna run into a building, lay my body in the street 

 Keep my money in the ceiling, let my mama know I'm free 

Give my story to the children and a lesson they can read 

And the glory to the feeling of the holy unseen 

Seen enough, make a motherfucker scream, "I love myself!"

- i, by kendrick lamar

i'm an adult now

well it's 2019 my dudes, and here I am.

worked for a year, it was dope. did some growing up learning to be an adult.

i'm 26 this year and yo i'm getting married son!!!

I feel like I have this sentimental attachment to this blog, considering I grew up blogging, so it almost feels weird that i'm writing about getting engaged to my girlfriend??

but yeah, we're getting married in july mofugs so that's what my 2019 is shaping up to be.

marriage lol, who'd have thought 

in some ways I don't feel like i'm enough of an adult to get married, and it felt a bit early.. 

but it's been 7 years and I love the girl, so why not right?

being an adult is cool.

i mean like damn dude i've been blogging since I was a kid and it was always like a side-act to my life, something almost connected to my identity as an extension of my personality.

but it's like as the world and the internet evolved, blogging got more and more obsolete.

it's not like a bad thing or anything, it's just that other forms of expression came up, like twitter and instagram..

anyway, consider this a catch-up with my blog, even though technically this is the last place anyone would come to for updates.

I think, I just liked blogging so much and talking crap on here that I come back, and write a little poop on the internet. yeah, i'm pooping and putting it up for the internet to see.

you know who you are

so poop on, my readers. poop proudly, poop bravely, and make sure you never regret your poo because every poo you do, was truly a piece of you. you piece of poo.

shout out to long time fans, what's up to new fans, like and subscribe, i'll blog again someday, i'm sure of it.

or just follow me on twitter already i feel like i'm doing something suspicious by writing on here LOL\\

peace out bijs and brehs

-anwar 2k19

a meditation

what is freedom?

is freedom relative to an ideal or desired state of being?
is it then, defined by obstacles preventing you from being free? 

does freedom have more to do with our desired state of being; 

bliss? to be loved, cared for? respect?
or more to do with what we desire to do? 

see the world? experience new things? be fancy?

if we desire to be in another state of being...
what defines your desire? 

my life and personality???? or is it literally our senses

are we imprisoned by wealth and material objects? (and the lack thereof)
are wealth and material possessions considered to be obstacles? who asked u to exist, bish

hm.
what else is there tho..

is this ok

whats up blog
woke up today dizzy with nausea and a fever, feeling like death

but i had wendys so its cool

time

omg remember when we used to blog about good music and movies and boring personal life things

remember rememberberries??????

hnngghh growing old is like accumulating all this pop culture knowledge until its irrelevance causes an implosion and then you're just like "ah, where did the time go?"
and then one day you'll be like hey remember when kanye named his kid north west
or like hey remember all the amazing music that came out from all those amazing artists???

maybe the infrequent visits to blogs made it make less sense to review new and/or current music?
like, looking at the frequency of the posts on here, these look like an occasional occurrence, with posts few and far in between, almost resembling some sense of importance.

then again, were personal blogs just online journals or diaries whose existence fed on morbid fascination with another person's life and way of expressing themselves???

nice.

are blogs and posts like dead horses that we cling to tightly because we loved those horses?
who started this blogging thing anyway
im thinking anne frank, you're thinking herodotus

the terrible silence

it came and went, like a storm;
leaving havoc in its trail, moving onwards on its journey

we watched it go, like a train derailed
staring so greedily, hoping to be touched
until it came close enough to burn
and there was nowhere to go

like a brilliant spark, so quick and so bright
our brightest day has turned dark
for all the jokers and all the whores
to begin again. ANOTHER EPIC POEM BY ANWAR IHSANZ