far yet i can still see

i'm wearing glasses with 400 & 200 degrees on either side respectively...
but yet i could still see you...
damn!!
why do i always have this habit of noticing you even from a 400m range??
like why???!!!
it's not fair that i have to see you...
because i absolutely don't wish to see you...
i don't hate you...
i just hate the effect you have(d)on me...
fuck!!!

goodbye '05

2005 is definitely an action packed year for me..
heh~
enough said..
2 more days...
just 2 more days...
and we're into a brand new year...
filled with uncertainty...
can i survive it like the previous 19 years...
God knows...
yes..
only He knows...
let's just see what happen next...

will you sing this to me now

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just watch and learn

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Coldplay - Fix You

i can't fall again

standing at the crossroads...
that's exactly where i am now...
i'm heading down a road where there no certainty...
should i be heading back?
back to the real life...
or go on? in search of my dream(s)...
life is filled with choices...
that, obviously i know hence i've made my choice...
but not made it clear...
i am adamant...
it will work out...
if not for you but myself...
i need to be strong...
will you be here with me?
lead me in the darkest times...
hold me in the coldest hour...
but not love me when i needed(wished) you to...
will you?

will i ever love again[quoted from MY own msn]

oh~
seriously..
i mean what i say..
will i ever love again?
the ultimate question for me..
now can i ever answer that?
the last time i did, it took a lot of me...
so...
now should i or should i not be searching..
heh~
right lyn...

I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams (right here) yea-yeah
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful(wonderful)guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?

i guess not then...
i need a right kind of Mr Wrong...
fit the bill?
tag me!!
heh~
then again DON'T!

home alone

squinting my eyes to see the screen..
i am soooooo tired and sleepy...
but NO!!
will be awake..
must be awake...

ZzzzzZzzzzzzzzzZ....

*stirs*

huh?? im still here..
*yawnz*

why?

everything i do or say will eventually get to you huh?
i don't even mean it directly..
oh wait~
it's not even you that i meant!
sheeshness!!
just because it's over..
doesn't mean i'm seeking empathy from others..
sheeshh!!!
open your eyes bigger..
perhaps you'll see you're no longer in this head of mine..

mytheme

please, please, please

i'm so into muse and finch and co&ca..
i don't know why...
hahahha...
i relate alot to them...
life's good i must say...
my relationship with my family had never been better...
and yes.. it's great to be able to breathe again..
meeting guys was an exception for me..
oh come on~
it's not wrong making friends...
unless your conscious is wrong...
hahha
met banu and nut 2 days back..
it's so good to just sit down and talk..
talking about boys(men), relationships and just bitching..
haiz.....

C.I.N.T.A

Nobody's going to love(like) me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever(not)
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you

pussycatdolls - stickwitu

dropping the bomshell

haiz..
can't u figure it out..
god!
what take you so long?

sing me to sleep, please

mungkinkah bila kubertanya pada bintang-bintang
dan bila kumulai merasa bahasa kesunyian
sadarkah aku yang berjalan dalam kehampaan
terdiam terpana terbata semua dalam keraguan

aku dan semua yang terluka karena kita

aku kan menghilang dalam gelap malam
lepas ku melayang
biarlah kubertanya pada bintang-bintang
tentang arti kita

dalam mimpi yang sempurna

peter pan - mimpi yang sempurna

it felt like rainfall

puffingeyesandsickeningheartburnsensation doesn't seem to drowning this feeling of mine..
stayed up almost the night..
thinking..
ouh man..
not again..
i need some air...
pronto~

rise & shine

don't expect to update bout yesterday..bleurgh!!!
oh well..
he's back..
yes he..
didn't expect him to apologise and stuffs..
should i give the friendship a chance??
hmm...
not that i'm being a mean-ass..
but it's kinda weird having to rekindle your long forgotten friendship with someone whom you never ever want to be associated with...

ps: it's good to remembered sometimes... but sometimes it's best to forget..

jittery-jibberish-shit

hahha i can't stop smiling..
today will be my 1st ever "date" after a very loooongg time..
well not actually a date la..
more to an outing with a guy friend..
no people.. he's not my "unintended"..
just normal friends..

again..
AaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe it's for the better

I can't remember when it was good
Moments of happiness elude
Maybe I just misunderstood

All of the love we left behind
Watching the flash backs intertwine
Memories I will never find

Muse- falling away with you


here i am.. right in front of the computer, un-bathe, somewhat happy...
i'm glad you've found the path to you own freedom.. from me..
i'm not much of a killer by the way.. i used to be dead too, like you..
resurrected by those who care and loved me.. who wants nothing but the best for me..
now your(our) journey begins.. life is about choices..
and it's your choice whether you want to make a fuss about my entry here..
but stop and think..
she might just be your "unintended"...

shall we dance into the night?

its gonna be okay
can't afford another day
at fifteen bytes per second
I've never seen your face
I've never heard your voice
but I think I like it
When you instant message me with a promise
I can feel it
I can tell you're gonna be
just like me
my eyes are gonna strain
my heart is feeling pain
at fifteen beats per second
I've never seen your eyes
I've never heard your lies
but i think I like it
when you instant message me with a promise
and I can feel it
I can tell you're gonna be
just like me
you turn
you turn
you turn on me

muse- pink ego box

resolving this

How do I feel
What do I say
F*** you
It all goes away
How do I feel
What do I say
F*** you,
It all goes away
How do I feel
What do I say
In the end
It all goes away

-slipknot: sugar-

"desktop" confession

am i really happy? right now..
are these true feelings or am i just faking..

last tuesday was great...
though i was struggling to keep sane..
memory flashback..
the "smoke-machines"..
that's enough for me to feel downright low..
banz asked, so how hewhoshouldnotbenamed?..
i wished i could say it out loud how i'm feeling but i can't..
damn.. i'm sinking..
this burden is way too heavy for me to hang on to..
i have to let it out..
i have tooooo....

hangover

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

did i say z******?

no it's not my name up there..
muahahha..
okayla..
overall grade: moderate
shesshh...

far far away..

damn..
i still cant get over it..
tried so many things..
but youre permanently embedded in my head..
how could this be..
how could this possibly be..

it's not fair..
it's just not fair for me..
build the hatred..
bury the pain..

think lyn!! think!!

*do you know
that everytime you're near
everybody else seems far away*

-making up my mind-

only U

using my brand new desktop..wow!!!i simply love the keyboard..wooah!!!im in love with this piece of machine..

come baby let us dance into the night...

you sure?

do you mean what you said..
it seems that the episode is on constant replay..
darn~~
stop it already..

forgiven not forgotten

we talked...about my previous entry...yes i am sorry...i said things i shouldn't say...maybe i was confumed by so much anger..yet again..the horribleimpulsivebeinginmelives...
so we're friends..and that's that..
but seriously i can't stop feeling mad about things..every day i get to know things i wished i hadn't..it's most upsetting..it's not fair that i have to have those thoughts, those feeling..
i am supposed to be thinking of only me..and noone else in this matter...i want to be selfish..i want to think of only what i want and what really deserved my attention..maybe perhaps i need a new man..
hah~ a new man??!!
*#%^*^%#$$#@%@!!
i've had enough with men/boy/guys..which ever..
life have never been better..except for the occasional bankrupt moments..but i'm surviving..and i will survive...

give it ur own title

it's been quite awhile since i last been here.. too many things have happened that i can't possibly post.. too painful.. too haunting..
well not that things are turning better now..
he's never letting me go.. pulling me deeper into this pit-hole.. threatening me all the same..
haiz..
i'm really ill right now.. been sick for days.. so is dearsis.. hmmm.. that man is still not working or even planning to i guess.. pity dearmum.. wished i could just kicked his butt or knocked some sense into his goddamn thick empty skull.. but then again.. he has this status called father.. right.. he doesn't even deserved to be called that..
frankly i'm going nuts with my father being an irresponsible person.. my ex is forever trying.. none of them listens to reason.. just why? can't you both just stop and think for one moment.. do you even deserved what you trying to get? yes learn from mistakes.. but it doesn't make things okay in a short span.. sometimes things never even go there.. and stop putting the blame on others..
you ol' man.. you don't deserve her at all.. you treat her like slave.. cursed her, beat her.. you expect food to be at the table when you never bother to go out and work.. yes we are your children.. and wea re supposed to care for you.. but still we are your responsibility.. so don't blame us for mistreating you.. what goes around comes around..
as for you.. how could you think i could easily be with you after hearing you said all the words you should have said long before? jjst because you are trying doesn't mean i am obligated to you in anyway.. you are not doing me a favour by the way.. what took you so long to realised how precious our love was? why after that fatal mistake.. yes a mistake can be forgiven but the pain lingers... i don't choose this path to find another.. i just wan to find peace.. i want to be on my own.. i can't face another heartache anymore.. and the bottom of it all.. i don't love you no more.. my heart is stoned.. so stop trying.. my answer is finalised.. if you think i have my own agenda going on.. fine whatever.. i have absolutely nothing else to say..
i've said what i have always wanted to say.. to you both.. open your eyes..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA..ryt!

frankly i don't know what's the fuss about..
having the house spick and span...
buying tons of new clothes and shoes..
making variety of kuehs..
what is that all about?
are we celebrating the victory for fasting a whole month or just a time to outshine others..
haiz...this year raya sucks for me..
oh wait..it have always been sucky...

right smack in between

damn it...
i'm back where i started...
i have to do something about it...
it's bothering e like hell..
it bugged me so much that it kept me thinking..
should i change my mind or should i not...
it's not fair is it?
i think i know what to do...
i think so...haiz...

my hatred for you will never ceased

seriously..i hate you..
you are freeaking a pain in the ass..
always thinking you are right just because you're so called "THE MAN OF THE HOUSE"..
come on la..
don't expect others to respect you when you're behaving this way..
come on..
i don't know what she sees in you..
you have no responsibilty, you're a self-centered asshole..
let see how long you're going to live in comfort..
i will make sure you pay..

e other side of me

woke up today feeling depressed..
perhaps it's due to the fact i delibrately hurt someone..
and i certain know how one feels..
is it wrong for me to decide my course in life i wished to embark?
to set my own rules after so many years of abiding to others?
is it so wrong?
why is it that other's never want to respect my decision?
when all these while i always did respect yours..
hearing your every excuses to do things that hurt me delibrately..
and supposedly understand why you're acting this way and that..
accepting you the way it is all the time..
and you not wanting to do the same..
hear me out for once..
understand me..please..
i plead with you..

why i can't fall for a pantat

don't ask me why i putting this up...
just something i would like to share with you guys..
by the way pantat in this term is not referring to my/yours/anybody's ass..
just a reminder...

okay the main reason why i can't fall for a pantat is because
a. he is my close friend/my friend's boyfriend/just not my type..
b. he has seen my true colours from the baby pink to the virgin black...(in other words they know me too well..so no kick la)
c. each and everyone of them have their special 'thatthingyoudoorhavethatcanmakeme drool" thing...the list might help you a little..but it's strictly according to alphabetical order nothing else..

Ady - the pornKING..just enough of lust in him to bring the animal out in me..muahahhahhahha

Amin - the blurONE..one of my closest bud..he's caring and definitely not my type..too sotong...ehheheh

Art - the SINGER...oohhhh..love it when he croons...perhaps he could sing me a lullaby...

Curly - the matCOOL...a lil' bit of cute plus cool..love the way he carry himself..the way he hides his insecurity is a plus point...

Dinur - the SNAG of them all...a bit of romance and sensitivity won't hurt right?hahha

Dzool- mr PERSONALITY..weird taste in clothing...humourous..mood swinger...enough to rock my world..hahhha

Isa - the HUNK..even though he hardly has a butt..but hey looks rule it all..look at that charming smile..enough to melt a girl..ahhhh..prince charming?nah~

Shark - the matMOTOR...enough said~

so you see...they are all part of my ideal type of MAN...and besides...THEY ARE TAKEN...

i'll shall say a lil' prayer for u

dark skies...
heavy rain...
haiz....
all of these to remind us of the loss we've acquired..
a great man has left us...
it's a pity that a good man like him have a shorter life span than the rest of us...
most would say God loves him more...
true, very true indeed...
now girl, don't dissappoint your dad..grow up, take responsibilities..be a role model..it's all up to you now...
if i am you, i'll do all that...
cos i wished he was my own...

writings on my goddamn walls

i've decided to blog again...
after 2mths of non-stop actions...
it's miserable not able to talk to anyone about how i feel and think about things..
people kept getting the wrong ideas..

sheeshh!!!

so the best way is to put in words...i WON'T care who read it..i WON'T care if others have things to say about it...in simple terms..

[NOT HAPPY DON'T READ]

simple...

i've never felt so alone right now...it's downright depressing...so many things mashed-up in my head...like whip potato...

it's wrong isn't it..being this way..pretending it's okay when it's absolutely not..
i don't do the same things i say...fickle minded..yes?can't help..i don't want to hurt or be hurt in any process..sick of it...so so so sick of it...

so i guess the best way to just say what i have to say...and when something else happen..try doing something else...isn't it natural for us humans to do so??or is it just me??trying to be manipulative??

you be the judge..like always..

seriously...in the end i'm the one suffering..i lost both..well let's face it...both reminded me of the other...i know once it's done..it's done..there's nothing that can turn it around...

it's my misfortune to be the one stuck in the middle...if only..if only..haiz...

i don't know what to say or do to...my hearts is torn in two...i can't decide...i just need time..lots of it...just let me be for now..just let it be...

a lil' bit of truth

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

courtesy of http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

it just ain't good enough

i don't know why i feel what i'm feeling right...downright disappointed or fucking pissed...i can't decided..because it felt neither of those two...could it be PMS..perhaps..or maybe it's just me..

the feeling of being out of place is something i hate having...it doesn't help when i'm the kind that loves to talk and joke around..i find it hard to accept..i hate myself...

i'm really stressed out..tomorrow's THE big day...and i've got nothing..worse still i'm feeling this way...wished i could be fake and just smile my way through...

i'm tear-ing...i can't help it...i'm sorry...

can you hear me?

i'm missing you...really am...wished you could be here once again...to assure/comfort/love me like you've always do...but i know it's impossible...you could never return to my side...you're gone forever...

*sobs*

still going...

the 1st time i set eyes on you...
i almost died of shock...
beyond the cute somewhat sexy voice..
stood a little boy with a cap on...
bah~ what luck...
after all the wooing and date-less days..
we're an item..
i don't know what i see in you...
unromantic..
short..
dark..
playful..
cheeky..
not serious..
unsocialable..
and definitely not my ideal guy...
but..
after all these years..
after all the troubled and memorable times..
after all the comparing of exs and admirers..
after all the misunderstandings and petty arguments we've gotten into..
i've fallen...
fallen into a deep trance i can never get out of...
is this what they called love..
no?
am i dillusional??
don't think so..
i've fallen for this midget..
whom i called B...
he's the one who almost cause me cardiac arrest when he went cycled home from bugis alone on his bicycle...
he's the one who see me for who i am not what i am...
never looking back at my past...
he's the one who loved me and accepted me....
he's the one who taught the many lessons in live..
to appreciate the ones who's dear to me..
and steer me away from all negativity a teenager would have...
he's my other half..
never will my life be complete without him...
i love you..
and this time it's for real..

it's been twenty-six months and four day...

*blows nose and wipes tears*

different??in what way??

does dressing differently than usual mean you've changed?no?
heh~ so what's the fuss about??
i've no idea..

decided to blog..well just felt like putting something into this empty hole..
(so what! noone's reading it..bah~)

had a bad start to the day..woke up late..thought my class was of a later timing...
rush rush rush rush... rushes to bathe..rushes to iron my clothes..rushes to comb my hair..rushes to put on my lenses..ok stop!basically it was a hectic morning...

after all that "rushing"...i was yet again held back at the train station...middle fingers shown..after all the swearing and cursing...i'm back on track...

cruising in the train..sha na na na...heh~
learnt that blood shot eyes and brown coloured lenses so do not go...

lean back in my seat..cross my feet and hey presto..i'm in lala-land..
how i wished i could travel in comfort...

so honey..when are you getting a bike/car??

stopped jabbing my heart

inhale..exhale..inhale..exhaleeee
ARGHHHHH!!!!!
can't take this anymore...
some i might just explode...
so stay away...puhhlesss.....

my my my....

sheeshh!!!what a day..of all the people in the world...you two voodoos just have to be in the same class...why just effing why???arghh..ouh well..

come let's learn something new today...

repeat after me..T.R.U.S.T!!!
a simple word with deep meaning i must say...

heartaches, empty wallet & bad impression

school's opening tomorrow...my so-called holiday is over...
welcome back earlymorningbusridesboringlectures days...
frankly i don't miss yous...
hmm..what would i wear??ouh forget it...need to kick the bad habit of dressing up on the 1st day of school...
familiar faces gone...haiz..have to start anew...*bleargh!!
*imagines how school life will be like..changes mind..ouh..let's not go there...*

working schedule changed to fit schooling time...lesser income...more sleep ahead...

*rummaging through mind...where's is it...*

-the end-

super good gerl

head's in a mess...project's on hold...funds depleting...wonders when's everything will be alright...
term starting next week...oohhh i can't wait..
bought lots of new things...a black straw bag..a nice cool looking tee..green slippers...ermm..time to strike out the wants...
perhapz..life isn't that complicated as i thought...hmmm..
what do you think..

WooooHooo

last thursday was a success..had so much fun...you guys rock!!!and hey2 there's a new addtion to the lot...welcome sidah!!!hehhehe
here's to more happy days together!!CHEERS!!!

wonders why money is so important in myour live(s)..sheeshh...hate to ask for it..felt like a begger...ouh well...

feeling really tired...the last few days had been hectic..more and more people coming to the cafe..damn~ looks like dr ameen talib's words working like magic...
here's an alternative night life
heh~

working again tonight...prays hard i won't have to die...not too soon lah...

meeting sweetz @ bugis!!hurray!!!!!

ngee ann poli-an

another new addition to my list of contacts...

ouh~honey stop being jealous okay?

Forgotten

left on the shelf to rot...
that's how i view my blog...

On my toes

we're going bowling..
we're going bowling..
we're going bowling..
now everybody let's do the cha-cha!!

Wooowaaak!!!

Your Gothic... Maybe even a bit Vampyric... Your
very sensitive, sometimes you can be outgoing
in your own population. Your sometimes Lonely,
but when your alone your much happier. If your
suicidal, it's okay, because your the kewlest
person I know!....well don't actually know you
but yeah! Write me and Tell Me if you picked
Napoleon or Ron!


Are you a Vampire/Goth/Punk/Poser/Emo/ or just a plain PREP!?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Boo

You like the sweet, shy type.


What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

INNOCENT??what do you think about that Nut?

You're the innocent girl next door. You are
friendly, cheerful, kind, and happy. You like
to spread your happiness around making people
feel warm and joyous. To do this you like to
bake cookie and muffins while giving kind
compliments. Plus you actually give apples to
your teachers. You're pure and innocent and
most likely haven't broken many rules. Everyone
loves you. How can they not?


What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

riiiiiing riiiiiiiiiing...hello?

i need a new phone....bah~
*knocks phone against the wall..*

greeeeeattt..just great!

checked my new timetable..every single module fits perfectly..thank god!!ain't going to stay for another 6more months..yahooo!!!!!

my resolution for the upcoming semester:
1. the MOST important thing..always attend class...attendance is very very IMPORTANT!!
2. hand in all assignments and report..another important factor in attaining good grades...
3. do not..and i mean DO NOT forget to study for all tests and quizes...
4. write every single thing that have to be done for that particular module..plus the test dates...
5. last but not least..if possible try boot licking the lecturers once in a wile..that ought to put youme in their good books....

wish me luck people....

sticky, smelly & tired

feel rather shitty now...wished i hadn't done what i did...it's terrible enough snooping around things that aren't mine...and even worse when you stumble upon things that just not meant to be known...arghh!!!
i feel bad, angry, shocked and upset all at the same time..i'm confused...sometimes i wished you would talk to me..not just bout your family and mine...i want to know all your friends..yes ALL...including the ones of the opposite sex...i hate getting upset when i discover new things..just like you discovering a new friend on my list...(frankly i have no idea how he got there)
tomorrow's a sunday...wonder how it'll be like?...

Bleargh..

black high cuts..black tee..tight pants..
not the ideal workshop outfit...
sweat it out(not much arh) today at the carpentry room..ehehe like finally...i'm able to do something useful..instead of wasting the time away at the complab...hehehehe
working today..hehehe
need money...hmm...anyone interested in giving me some money??
hmm not...
okay...never mind..
can't believe i forgave you again..ahak~ can't believe i actually bought that imsosorry crap of yours..ouh what the hell..i love you..and that what matters...hehehe

*sigh*

sometimes i wish..people will understand me..and perhaps appreciate me a little more...i can't be there all the time..can i??i've got my own life to live for not yours or yours or even yours..
i'm tired of being misjudged most of the time...
i am what i am...
i like making friends...i want to make friends...basically i am FRIENDLY...for god's sake...my behaviour is neutral towards everyone...i like the things i do..whether it's bad or good..it doesn't concern anyone what i like to do...because it DOES NOT have any effect on you..i know my limits...what it takes is trust...frankly..you people have no right to be mad...who's the one invading my privacy??judging me by the words i said..by the things i did...
i have rights too you know..the right to my own privacy...i've never tried intrude in your personal spaces so why must you??i trust you with my life..and you can't even trust me for my words..
i'm crushed..i've tolerated enough of this...this time it's no more about you...it's about me...cos it's my live...if you don't like it..you might as well get up and leave....

eeeNUF!!

morning to afternoon in school...evening to early morning working...then goes to school til afternoon...and the cycle goes on and on...
i'm so tired..
wish i could break the cycle...
haiz...

Haiz..

once again...i'm left alone in this cold room...ad having to face that penisless idoit...sheeshhh...!!
im really sick of doing this project..it's freaking tiiiiiiring...there's nothing to be done...okay not exactly nothing...but yeah...it's taking it's toll on me..i am mad!!!mad mad mad!!!
i don't care..tomorrow all of us..yes US..will stay till 5..doing work of course..no more excuses..and i don't freaking care if i'm not the leader...
I want to get my ass out of this miserable state...ok?
get it??

Bitch!

to whom this may concern...
you're a freaking-idiotic-demoralizer...
frankly i hate you!!!
all you ever do was to nag and nag...
go on home and screw your wife...

Hmm...

is it just me or does she love my money more than me??
hmmmm....

:P

hello...


goodbye...

worn out

i'm really tired...wished it will stop...i'm so so so tired of all this....

I'm NOT stupid

wished i could have said that to you...why do people always look down on me or the things i do...just effing why??you may not realised that simple sentence have hurt me so deep...i feel depressed...am i stupid??or maybe i'm wasting my time doing what i'm doing...
perhaps..i am afterall...
stupid enough to listen to your words...
to allow it to consume me...
to allow these tears to flow once again...
i'm stupid...stupid stupid stupid....

Truth Hurts

switching off my phone..trying to sleeping during the long ride to work...having difficulties..didn't expect that from you...it hurts like hell, i tell you...maybe it's just you..or maybe i'm just being nice....i don't know...
being submissive have been my nature..especially to those i care and trust..but i can't help notice there are some who take advantage of it...and yes..i can easily said no..but i just can't..it's hard..and again i remind it..its been my nature...
i wish i could be like others..selfish...
maybe i should start learning to be....

People Change, I Guess

*shocked*
didn't expect to hear what i've heard...i'm really sorry dear...if talking to me wasn't much of a help...perhaps..i should just stick to just talking huh??
nonetheless i felt a sense of lost too...a person whom i've always regarded as a friend turned out to be no less than a perfect stranger...
it's hurt just knowing that..really it does..it might not seem like a big deal to you but it is to me...people change i guess..all the best to whatever you're doing nowfuture...
let's just hope we don't see each other around..
cos i really don't know what to say to you.....

you made me go all teary

aaaauuuuwwww....love you so much...
here's a tale only my syawal a.k.a B can do...
cycling to arab street in the wee hours of the morning all the way from yishun...
yes..C.Y.C.L.Y.I.N.G...hahaha sounded fairytale-like but it happened...
really didn't expect him to do just that...*frankly i've been wanting this to happen..*
ha ha ha...
love you honey...muacksssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holiday

finally i am done with the semester's module..hopefully i need not have to retake any of them next semester....it's so sucky having to retake the same module again..like what the mats and minahs would see mendak siol...
heh~didn't go sentosa for my long awaited vacation...*sigh* had a blardy stoopid meeting at the cafe...then i have to spend the whole night re-doing my project management coursework...and submit it in the wee hours of monday morning...aiyoo..but thankfully my dear syawal was going to school so..heh~passing of the baton...hey i was shagged..didn't have the energy to drag my weary body all the way to clementi road just to submit my assignment..hmm..not worth it~hahha :P
you might be wondering why i'm blogging away today..hehhe i'm school for you info..and if you're wondering why am i doing in school during the holidays..well i'm doing my final year project...and that only means 1 thing..i have to drag my sorry ass to school everyday for the next 5weeks..gosh!!!but yeah!!it's better to be going to school and stuck at home doing absolutely nothing..
this is the saddest holiday i ever had...

-you name it-

it's been sometime since i blog..so here goes..
the past 1week have been dreadful..i've fallen ill since last saturday and i'm still not fully recovered from it yet...barely(hardly) made it for my SPT's papers...i don't even think i have the slightest chance of passing..haiz...i totally blew it...i'm practically broke..only have a 100buck in my pocket...hey that's broke okay??so used to having more...eversince i started working...okay whatever lyn..and the bloody haze is making me sick(er)..arghh!!!haiz...when is this bad week going to be over...
hope the upcoming chalet will do the thing...can't wait...it's been so long since i've been to a chalet...i badly time away from the city...it's driving me nuts...and hopefully by sunday morning my mum's idea of a tsunami hitting sentosa will be erased fully from her mind...'cos it's giving me the creeps...fancy having be swept away into the open sea and not knowing how to swim...*shivers in fear*
ouh well...hopefully no such thing will happen...can't wait for the "holiday"....

Hush~Don't Speak

went out with banu today...it was nice being able to break free...
it's almost the end of school term...
soon enough..all of you will be leaving...going to miss you...
haiz...
but hey...i'm in no hurry to graduate anyway...hahaha~
hmmm...talking bout today...
thanks banu..
it's been great spending the day with you...
heh~even though we did alot of walking..hahhha
confirm lose weight!!hehhehe
ouh well..
today's been somewhat pleasant.....

*wishful thinking lyn~*

L.O.V.E

now and then...
hmm..it's a total different feeling...
after 6years of falling in and out of love...
after 10guys...
i finally found the ONE..
the one person who can actually make me go crazy when he didn't call/sms...
the one person who can actually make me laugh non-stop for the whole day...
the one person who can actually make me feel so special...
never mind of his short comings(not romantic, short, dark,not gorgegous etc etc)...
i love this manguy...oh God!!no word can describe the feelings i had towards him...
but for now...i will always pray that he'll never have to leave....

In-Laws

stoning in front of the computer now...haiz..i can't help sighing...really wished i could bring him home...*not for it la* to meet my family...aiyoo you people arhh~~
but i don't know la..i mean..it's not that i don't want my family to know..just that they had never approved any of my friends let alone a guy...i don't want to humiliate him or put him in a risk of being mulled by them..i know it's unfair for me to be meeting his side while my side is being kept in the dark...
haiz..my head's in a mess..but for how long can this go on??*macam gini tak kahwin la aku...*
Faz, now i know how you felt last time...even though it's him being the unregistered boyfriend...
though my previous boyfriends were never introduced...i really want to this time round..i love(d) him alot...and if possible i want the whole world to know...(i think by now satu dunia da tau..)
haiz haiz...
*scratches head*

Red red sky

arghh!!!i hate having to see stained undies whenever i go to the toilet...arghh!!i fee mad mad mad!!!and i don't know who to blame..wait~there's noone to blame but my stupid period..arghh!!!
waiting waiting waiting.....
in school now..waiting for B...nope..didn't have classes today...i came all the way to school just so that B can actually go home..his ez-link's with me...hahahaha
haiz..im so bored...this week is so full waiting waiting waiting...i hate to wait...but i don't mind othes waiting for me...*roll eyes in disgust* ahaks bitch!!!
hmmm..i'm so hungry and so thristy...i don't have money right now..i'm so broke...boo hoo hoo~
waiting waiting waiting.....
till next time..stay tune...

Euuwww!!!

i can't believe what i(we) saw on bus 852 today!!!aiyoooo!!!!!tak ble angkat laio!!!
i won't describe what i saw..it's tooooo embarassing!!
but this goes to all manjens!!
if you're feeling horny early in the morning...i suggest do not ride the bus please!!!!spare others the ugly sight!!!

*pukes

Get off my back!!

what makes you think by not allowing me to go out, come home late, use the phone and giving me pep talks will eventually make me a better person?
come on!!i'm already 20 and doing all the things you should be doing when i'm supposed to be at the age of 12 is out of the question..
you never used to care about what i do..why start now..
just because we're living under the same roof doesn't make you people have the power to control my life??hah~too late..
stop telling me you care and that we are a family..bullshit!!
you should have tried years ago..not now..heh~you people are so pathetic..
you hated my friends, the clothes i wear and the language i used..hah~ you think my friends are uncultured-self-centered-youngsters-who-have-nothing-better-to-do-but-create-trouble-for-their-families bunch..and that i'm influenced by them..hahhahaha ya right!!you don't even know them!!!oh wait!!!you didn't even BOTHER!!
year after year..you hated my friends more and more..accusing them of corrupting me..hahahha stop don't blaming them...it's because of them that i remain sane...i have happy moments in life...and all you ever do is compare me with her!!!fuck you!!
doing just that will not turn me into her...and please just because she turned out fine doesn't make you an excellent parent...
i tried reasoning with myself..telling myself about all the sacrifices you made for us..but the hurt i felt all these years still have an overwhelming pain...arghh!!!
call me selfish if you want..i just wanted to be treated the same like her...be given the same amount of attention and love..throwing money at me won't fill the emptiness in me...seriously..i don't love you..never did..i just pretended that i do since it's normal for people to love their family...i'm not sorry for what i did..and that's that...
so leave me alone..

The Big 2-0

woooow...at this very moment i've been declared a NON-teen..and boy that sounded BIG!!hahaha not that i'm proud turning 20 and getting older each year is beginning to freak me out...
and to those who didn't quite get what i mean...
i have just celebrated my 20th birthday 3 days ago..hahha damn i feel old..very old...
anyway..would like to thank all those who wished me and gave me presents..love you guys..muacks!!!

Expectations

sometimes i wished i'm not who i am...i hated the way i look...the way i sound...the way i am...arghh...
the confidence level in me is nearly zero...i became vain(that's how you put it)...i can't help asking for opinion once in a while..okay..basically most of the time...but hey..can't blame me right?i'm just insecure about myself...
time and time again..i try pulling myself together and just accept the way things are..but i just can't..
i'm surrounded by beautiful people..and it makes me feel a tinge of jealousy...that is why i really want to impress others..especially you..i want you to be proud of me...i know it's stupid...but really...i'm not lying...
i try to be up to your expectation...but i fail miserably...it's pathetic..i know...haiz...
i'm sorry..

Shop-peng

haha bought loads of things today...hehehe i feel happy...shopping can really help relieve stress...you should try it...but plesae only do it when you're loaded..not when you're broke..okay?hehhe
went out to collect my pay..hahha like finally..*heaving a sigh of relieve*
had lunch at tuckerbox..the food was okay..but love the ambience..they even played taufik's songs there..(after much coaxing of course..hehehe)
walk-walk at bugis...deciding what to buy...finally settled on a silver necklace, a green bag and 2 t-shirts...hahha and like WOW!!!
that is alot of stuffs...hehehe...
haiz...can't wait for my next shopping trip...hope it won't be too long...
*wishing hard*

Dejection

should i or shouldn't i?
like the saying goes..once bitten twice shy...
i really can't decide..really...
i hate the awful feeling knowing you (might)will do it once more...
seriously i can't decide....
what you think?

Never There

how i wished i could be there for you(general you)...i'm sorry for my bad scheduling of time...didn't mean to neglect you..serious...i'm just lost..am trying my best to find my way through all the projects, classes, work etc..yes that's not the least perfect excuse..but hey!i'm not trying to find excuses...
i truly am sorry...if you really have to bash me up when we meet..please..do the honour...if that will help dampen your anger towards me...no matter how less we see of each other..doesn't mean i forget about you...NEVER WILL...
i will never forget what you've done for me..i'm indebted to you in one way or another..and i'm always here for you...if you need someone to talk to..i'm just a phone call away...if you need a someone to help ease the pain...i'm willing to share the burden with you...in short meh hoon nah(meaning i'm here in hindi)
so now you know...please don't hesitate to call me okay?i love you...

Money$$ Blues

arghh!...i'm getting fed-up...i still have not gotten my full pay yet...sheeshhh..just what is so wrong with giving me my money..the same money i worked-my-butt-off for...sheeshh...
it's not as if i'm asking for a loan for something!...
this is getting intolerable...this is a state of emergency!!!
I.NEED.MY.MONEY.NOW!!!
i have presents to get..loans to settle..clothes to purchase...arghh!!!this is maddening!!!!

Petty Me

i'm sorry...
sometimes i just can't help it..i tend to be an over.protective.extremely.jealous kind of person...as much as i wished not to be..the worse i become...
i really don't want to restrict your freedom and neither do i want to be restricted..

i love you...
i respect your privacy and i really hope you do the same...it's simple really..i just this to run fairly...ok i have to admit..i do keep things from you sometimes..but trust me it's nothing important..well you know..some things are just meant to be left untold...all i need is your trust...and believe me..i won't misuse it...promise!!

We Need A Resolution(period)

[Timbaland]
Ahh.. uh uh I'm tired of arguing girl
I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired huh
I'm tired of arguin girl
I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired huh
I'm tired of arguin girl
ticky ticky ticky ticky baby girl

[Aaliyah]
Did you sleep on the wrong side?
I'm catching a bad vibe
And it's contagious
What's the latest
Speak your heart, don't bite your tongue
Don't get it twisted, don't misuse it
What's your problem?
Lets resolve it
We can solve it, what's the causes?
It's official, you got issues
I got issues, but I know I miss you

[Chorus]
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution
I need a resolution
We need a resolution
We have so much confusion

[Aaliyah]
I want to know where were you last night?
I fell asleep on the couch, I thought we were going out
I want to know were your fingers broke?
If you had let me know I wouldn't have put on my clothes
I want to know where'd you go instead?
Coz it was four in the morning when you crept back in the bed
I want to know what was in your head?
Or what was in my head? Am I supposed to change?

[Chorus x2]
[Aaliyah with Timbaland at end of each line]
Baby let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, you'll let me know (I will)

[Timbaland]
Girl, holla...
You give me bits and pieces
You tryna blame me when I don't even know the reason
I think it's just the season, maybe the month, maybe the building
Now tell me what's the reason? Stupid yo? Looks are deceiving
So, cut the crying, Cut the coughing, cut the weezing girl
Quit the blaming, Cut the naming, Cut the sleeping girl
I think you need some prayer, Better call the deacon girl
So get your act right or else we won't be speaking girl
So what's it gonna be,(ticky ticky) Me and you?
Or is it gonna be who blames who?
I'm tired of these things, I'm tired of these scars
I think I'm gonna get me a drink, I'll call you tomarr (tomorrow)whoa

*sob

i'm numb...i can't feel anything right about now..even if i were to be knocked down by an 18-wheeler, i doubt i'll even feel a thing...
i feel like my entire body is being ripped apart but i can't feel the pain...i'm desperate to feel the pain....
i.need.pain.NOW.
if only i could just cut myself like before...admire the blood flowing down my arm...the feeling is enticing...it's almost intoxicating...
my MENG2 presentation is tomorrow and i've yet to start...i can't concentrate at all...i don't feel like doing anything at all...all i want to do is to pop some pills and throw myself out of the window...

What's in my heart

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

You

Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that
You're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast
TLC - Waterfalls

My Valentine

14th feb is here once again...like years before...there's not a single rose/card/candy/etc from anyone..heh~
no suprise really...i'm not upset...okay...jus lil' perhaps...come on...if you're a girl(doesn't matter whether you're attached or not)don't tell me you won't feel upset...sheeshhh~
i'm not hoping for any..just wished..suprise me people..!!!haiz..i'm pathetic ain't i...i have no shame to proclaim that i'm upset not getting anything on valentines' day..then again..i'm a muslim..and muslims MUST NOT celebrate the death of some priest-who-die-in-cause-of-true-love-shit...haiz...
in a week's time..it will be my birthday...shit
and instead of hoping for something wonderful to happen...i will try to forget about it...whenever i think about it..my heart aches...flashbacks of my numerous horrible "special" days keep replaying..like a broken vcd player(still unable to afford a dvd player haiz)...
arghh...so people...do me a favour..try not to remind me of it....

Ha-Ha

You Are A Professional Girlfriend! You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

death

i can't sleep right now...and i don't think i will be able to sleep anytime soon...been having bad dreams...very very bad dreams...and they just won't go away no matter how hard i try they just don't...
for a couple days now...i've dreamt of losing you...to be precise, through death...and yes i freaked out...it seems so real...i'm scared...i don't want to go through it again...not now..not ever...i don't want to...
i'm scared...
whenever i close my eyes, the dream kept replaying itself...i can't stop it...the only way is to keep awake...but i can't..i'm sleepy..very sleepy in fact...
arghh...i really wish i could have a dreamless sleep...which i never had before...most of my dreams are nightmares...before the i-kept-seeing-you-dying-before-my-eyes dreams...i used to dream of a pair of hands dragging me of my bed while ripping my pajamas to shreads..and before i knew it..i woke up in cold sweat...
but once i drift to la la land...the same thing happen again...the only different is that the subsequent dream last longer than before...sheeshhh
but now..this current nightmare is freaking the hell outta me...it seem bloody real i tell you...
i really wonder why those dreams....could be that God knows that i'm not ready to face Him...and all these nightmares are to remind me to actually repent...omigod...as much as i want to repent...the temptation to sin is too great...astagfirullahal'azim!!maybe that's what He wants of us...to resist all temptation or be condemned in hell for eternity...
i'm not afraid of death...but come to think of it...i fear the aftermath of death...*shivers in fear*

BANG!

just shoot me now~ and don't miss...

trust

i really hate it when you do that...accusing me blindly...just because the odds are against me...can't you believe its purely coincidental...just why must you accuse me of all that...don't you trust me...if you don't trust me with your life..at least trust my words..especially when i say i didn't do anything wrong...if you can't even take my word why even be here in the 1st place...i hate it when you question my authority...i really hate it...and right now...my eyes are stinging...

pure pleasure(moans)

chocolates, sleeping, beaches, food, shopping, day-dreaming, dirty-dancing, late-night strolls, romance, black roses, horror flicks/books, keanu reeves, blogging...

i hate you

whenever i look into the mirror..i see this ugly girl...she has the same splitting image of me...the badly styled hair, the crooked teeth, the un-flawless face ..in short U.G.L.Y...
after nearly 20 years of living with all these flaws..i can't take it anymore...i feel so ugly...so unpretty...hate myself..hate myself...
if only i can go for some Xtreme Makeover...even if i do..i don't think i will look at bit better...
sometimes when i actually diss others(apparently only 1 now..seriously can you stand talking or seeing someone raining saliva on you or others)i actually realise my shortcoming...
ni semua ciptaan tuhan lyn....you got that right...God was too busy making others beautiful, HE forgot about me...*boo hoo*
pathetic..if only i can give you a slap now lyn...stop whinning..and look at the bright side of life...at least you have great assets(ahem!)to be proud..to hell with what others have to say...
(don't mind me...i just need to let out...ouh i hate being a girl..*pouts lip*

The OTHER Person (RA-rated)

are you starting to hate your boyfriends'/girlfriends' friends??if you are i'm sure you feel my "pain"..i don't really hate all his friends..just this particular one...this particular ass-shit-bloody-fucker-copycat...this muthafucker is really driving me up the wall...

1st: he just love to exaggerate stuffs..still remember the day he actually told EVERYONE and i mean everyone including Syawal that i text him...the hell!!!and because of that i got into a lil' tiff with my B...
2nd: he got an not-so-exact(and not forgetting UGLY)replica of the cap i bought for my darling sweetie for his belated birthday gift...bloody fucker..
3rd: the way he boast about his not-so-great-to-talk-about abilities...so what if you're in the school team...sheeshh...

now you see how much i actually hate this particular person...i'm not being mean by saying all this..but i'm just an ordinary person..i have my own set of opinion and ideas of how a person should be...i'm not perfect myself..but hey at least i don't try to be like others..following every single move...sheeshhh..might as well become his/her shadow...

frankly i don't understand YOU..what's up man??what is it that you're so not happy about huh??why must you do all that stuffs...i don't mean to hate you but hell your actions is driving me NUTS...i can't help hating you..and for your info...you're the 1st person i hate in years..so i hope that you're proud of it...heh~

nonetheless...no matter whatever you do..and how much i hate you...syawal and i will stay together...and be happy...and don't you even think about ruining that...

Promo

hello people!!!doing a li' promo here..the song you're listening now is by BV'Flav'r..hehehe

in school right now..supposed to be studying but heck!!hahaha if you're still wondering whether i've gotten debarred..i really have no freaking idea..hahha it's not that i don't care it's just i really don't know how to save my fucked-up ass this time round...ermmm

*to be continued.....

W A R N I N G--> i mean it people

in case you're shock to hear taufik singing in the background..don't be okay??ehhhe i decided to upload the song "Let's Stay Together" sang by taufik during one of the singapore idol's episode..hahha i simply love the way he sang...ooooooohhhhh.....
taufik taufik taufik...when can i actually see you in person??you never fail to make my heart melt...aaaaaaahhhhhh....
okay never mind mr taufik now..hmm..jst got back from work actually..about an hour ago..decided to log in and update...hahha don't know what's up with me today...
hmmm....ahhahhahhahha
:P

falling into place

after so long..finally things have finally fallen into their respective places...it's such a pleasant feeling...never felt better...today was one of the few rare days that i can actually laugh and smile throughout the day...
you really made my day...wished things will always go this smooth...but i doubt it...nothing's perfect...
so i can only keep on praying...

DISAPPEAR

how i wish the earth will just open up and swallow me right now...i feel shitty..i don't understand it..i really don't...
is it due to my poor english that you can't seem to understand what i wish to put across??
i really am at a lost now...nothing seems to go right...even if it did..it won't last even a day..am i that bad at expressing what i actually feel(think)??
i really feel stoopid..i can't even express my feelings right...fuck shit...
my debarrment letter is already on the way...that's enough to make my head spin...and this have to happen...arghhhh...
*banged head on wall*
i feel sick all of a sudden...now i lost my desire to study....fuck shit...if given a choice now..i wish to digging a deep trench and bury myself in it...

insert a proper title yourself

oooooooo..it's sooooo long since i last blogged...it's already the start of the 1week break befoe the common test..ahh finally ..i get a break from all the morning classes which i have been skipping alot before this..wahhahha
yawnz!just woke up...hehhee
the last few weeks was really happening...
went johor with the cafe kids, became a dj during the school's open house, met various artists at the cafe, got a not-so-new phone courtesy of Nad, fell terribly sick and lots more which sadly i can't seem to remember...
Hah~ typically Lyn..

have i changed?been asking myself that for sometime now..am i selfish?i have no idea, or maybe i didn't notice...all i did was think about what I want and I think is right for me..does using the word I in most of my sentences and decisions wrong?frankly i don't think so..i don't know how to put it across to others...for once let me be selfish...let me have the right to..i still remember the "lyn you're too nice.." and when i finally learn to put self before others this have to happen..
sheeeshhh...after being alive for so long..i finally have the power to say NO when i want to..instead of being submissive...if you're saying i'm being selfish..think again..are you being fair by giving me limited options?

Ladies..What do you think of this??

Girls should not always criticize about what guys wear.
We all know that we treasure our pride.When guys have problems, don't make him sit there to listen to you.
He probably wants to be alone.
When guys wear "comfortable clothing" like bermudas and slippers, REMEMBER that no matter what girls wear, guys would always say girls look good.
Girls should be soft and gentle. Guys LIKE it.
When girls have that "time of the month", don't agitate the guy.IT IS NO EXCUSE to get angry.
It's going to continue on for most of your life. CONTROL IT!
Girls want time with their girl friends. Guys want time with their buddies too.
Girls should always wash their hair. Guys love to smell a girls hair.
It's our way of showing affection.
Guys are not bastards. When we have sex, we involve our emotions
too. Understand that. Or it wouldn't be called "making love".
Don't expect a guy to always call girls, We WANT to be PAMPERED too!
When guys are angry, it doesn't mean that we don't love you. It's
because we love you. When you find a mistake in a guy, don't bombard him in front of
his buddies.
Talk to him privately. How do you like it when he does it to you?
When guys smoke, remember, it's part and parcel of life. Smoking
doesn't change his attitude towards you.
Girls should never get drunk. It reflects a lot on you.
Lastly, don't ever think that the guy doesn't love you. Guys do cry behind closed doors.
Remember, at the end of the day, we still love each other

Turn me ON

hahaha..dont't get me wrong...i'm not horny or anything...i just don't know what title to put so since i'm listening to kevin lyttle's turn me on might as well name my entry as that...
for those who were expecting for the unexpected, expect nothing ok.?hahha :P
my chest hurts..my throat's burning...arghh...going to be sick...aiyooo...
working tomorrow.... DIE!!!
i'm still hoping for taufik to drop by though...
arghhh!!!!!

Love Me Love Me

You should let me love you
let me be the one who
gives you everyhting you want and need
Baby good live and protection
make me your selection
show you the way love's supposed to be
you should let me love you(love you)
love you

You Should Let Me Love You - Mario Winans

having tummy cramps now...yeap..1st day...arghh...very the pain...at the complab now with D&D...just came back from meeting yee...amazingly he didn't screw us today..hmmm...(semalam dapat kott??)hahhah
waiting for him to message..meeting up for dinner...hahha wondering why i'm still meeting him up??well simple...i love his company...not that we're together or anythingla..really~just purely-innocent-relationship-between-a-guy-and-a-girl...then again maybe NOT!!ahhaha *naughty thoughts in mind*
so far so good..school's good..so is work...so i've got nothing to worry about...except..that i migth be getting warning letter again...sorryla..not my fault what..i can't seem to be able to get up early in the morning...
ooooohhh yah...i'm wearing a CAP today..yes...i know cap and lyn don't go together..but heck!!!i'm having a bad hair day seh..
okay now i'm alone in the lab...
hmmmmmmmm...want to do something naughty??

FAT HOPE LAR!!!you think i porn star arhh??hahaha
:P

Over and Over and Over and Over Again

I cant wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And its a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
-Nelly - Over and over

haiz...i been repeating the above song over and over again...see?!!how much the song have affected me?..arghhh!!!sheesshh...i missed him.. i missed the good old times together..and i mean literally together...had dinner with him yesterday...all the time i was holding back...if you're wondering why...read below for better clarity of the situation..
the moment i saw him, i giving him a real squeeze..telling him how much i miss him..how i actually liked the way he dressed..(he's wearing my cap* beaming with pride*) i can't seem to be able to keep my hands of him...err...that sounded wrong...i mean i can't stop pinching his cheeks, arm, thighs, biting him on the arm and giving him a slap on the back...arghhh!!!!it was so hard controlling myself yesterday...it took every ounce of energy in me...
what the hell!!!!yea yea he's not mine...but heck...i still adore him alot...
arghhh!!!!!!

Moving On

happy new year to all!!heh~it's already 5 days into year 2005...and i just manage to update..sorry lar..not that i deliberately want to mah~hahahha well it's a brand new year...lol~ and i still have not gone partying yet..maybe later...still trying to find time to boogie...
haiz...okaylah..i really don't feel like blogging..hahha sorry!!next time perhaps...muacks!!

Scandalous Me

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