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Tuesday, March 23, 2010 @ 6:08 pm
moved to http://angesil.livejournal.com/
so that i can blog wif photos while i'm in china.
bye bye blogger.
Sunday, March 21, 2010 @ 10:30 pm
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
Extract from Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho
-------------------------------------------------
girl, u've got to pull urself together.
no excuses.
Thursday, March 18, 2010 @ 8:19 pm
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 10:26 pm
so i disappeared from the net for days on end. and i turned up on facebook sad and angry. what happened?
1) my grandpa passed away on the night of the 13th, march. i got the news on the 14th. tried to find air tix to go back to indo. the earliest i could reach was on the 16th. and grandpa was to be cremated on the 17th, which is today. mum told me not to go back cuz it would be exhausting. and being there for a day might not be worth the hugely expensive tix (cuz tix prices shoot the day before). and she told me if u come here u wud meet the shit relatives and u'll get even more pissed. so stay there and do well in sch, do ur grandpa proud. after much struggle, eventually, i stayed. but the torment of not being there for the funeral, being unable to ritually offer my last respects to my grandpa. that is heart-wrenching. the grief. thk goodness David's wif me or i would just crumble and die.
2) organic chemistry teacher insulted, laughed at, joked at foreign students in front of everyone in the lecture. i felt my blood pressure rise till the back of my neck. my eyes grew red at her insult, and the china students' response. when class was over, i got up, stood at the back of the lecture hall. pointed my middle finger straight at her, my eyes staring, boring into her. apparently, from feedback, people who saw my angry gesture gaped at me in shock, indon fren behind me buried her head in her hands. and when i finally walked off, jap guy and nepal guy were laughing.
wtf she didn't see it. and continued her insults even after i left.
so the teacher got my class real pissed. american girl fought back during histology remedial. she sat first row right in front of the histology teacher *anth teacher*. and before a question finished forming in his mouth, she answered the question in an instant with perfect, fluent chinese. not just one question, but every single question half-foremed. that changed his perception. and gave the class great pleasure.
dignity.
holding my head high.
do not relent.
do not descend to their level.
3) and the rest of the chinese popn are still trying hard to piss me off. ALL THE TIME. so i trick them back. and mock at them overtly. what satisfaction.
----------------------------------------------------
pride. dignity. grief.
Saturday, March 06, 2010 @ 4:33 pm
Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson
If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh, so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
Theyll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without you.
Chorus 1
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
Ill never ask for more than your love.
Chorus 2
Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through but nothings gonna change my
love for you.
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us like a guiding star
Ill be there for you if you should need me
You dont have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are.
So come with me and share this view
Ill help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without you.
@ 4:28 pm
So Beautiful by Savage Garden
Whether I'm right or wrong
There's no phrase that hits
Like an ocean needs the sand
Or a dirty old shoe that fits
And if all the world was perfect
I would only ever want to see your scars
You know they can have their universe
We'll be in the dirt designing stars
And darlin' you know
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful
Whether I'm up or down
There's no crowd to please
I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in it
And if all the world was smiling
I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets
We'll be right here stranded on the ground
Just happy to be found
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful
I have lost my illusions
I have drowned in your words
I have left my confusion to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand
You are..
So Beautiful
Yeah darlin' you know!
That you make me feel so beautiful
@ 3:21 pm
简单爱 - 周杰伦
说不上为什么 我变得很主动
若爱上一个人 什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布 对你依依不舍
连隔壁邻居都猜到我现在的感受
河边的风 在吹着头发飘动
牵着你的手 一阵莫名感动
我想带你 回我的外婆家
一起看着日落 一直到我们都睡着
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我 想带你骑单车 我 想和你看棒球 心意
想这样没担忧 唱着歌 一直走
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱可不可以简简单单没有伤害
你 靠着我的肩膀 你 在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活 我爱你 你爱我
想 简简单单爱
想 简简单单爱
Tuesday, March 02, 2010 @ 11:16 pm
my random thoughts:
i realised i have become one step better at dealing with things than before =) character building works. in this godforsaken place. hahahahahaha.
i'm in the best of moods these days. even school is enjoyable. i'm starting to love my course =D hehehehe. work hard silvia! thou shalt be motivated. work harder than hard.
i really really love spring!!!! flowers blooming everywhere. wafts of fragrances hanging in the air. the sun as warm as a hug. hair bouncing in the breeze. chirps of birds, awakened by spring's caress. butterflies dancing amongst the flowers once again. air as fresh as a newborn's breath.
how long has it been since i've last written a poem? i shall start writing again when i start dancing too. 6 mths to go! =) searching for my lost spirit ^^
i like late night chats wif ppl close to me. somehow the night opens the mind, and the heart.
a song... ^^
Eternal Flame by The Bangles
Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame.
I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong with me
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame.
Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling.
Close your eyes, give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame ...
Saturday, February 27, 2010 @ 7:27 pm
am back in guangzhou =D hehehe. just a moment ago someone was putting on fireworks. and i'm watching it from my window =) pretty! =))
i'm secretly glad to be back in guangzhou. despite the squatting toilet bowl, annoying people, stinky places (and people), crowds, i'm happier here than in indo. hahahaha. at least down here the problems are much more manageable. i can do things to solve them, instead of watching things happen helplessly, and frustrated cuz i can do nothing about them. in greater control, and with greater freedom.
ahhhhh. 9 days lalalaallalalalalalalala =D
silvia is happy.
silvia loves spring tulips.
silvia loves spring warmth.
silvia loves her direct family.
silvia loves her friends.
silvia loves daviiiiiiddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd