Seem like this blog of mine have been gathering spider web.. It has being so long since I last wrote a post.. Suddenly don't know what to do and feeling so so so lost..
Got married to the love of my life and officially become Mrs Mah.. Got our love nest just across the road from his parents house.. Learn to take care of everything on my own instead of relying on my mom.. Suddenly I miss my mom.. I felt hurt with this new family.. I feel hurt that my husband did not stand up for me when I was being bullied by his sister.. I feel hurt that I did not stand up for myself and walk away from the situation.. How could I possibly do that with all the senior around?? I will be showing disrespect to them.. and ya... that me now.. crying in front of my laptop while husband is taking a nap in the room.. why can't I learn to protect myself?? why can't I rely on the man I married to? why can't I just simply be the one being protected??
Life is all planned out I guess.. My husband choose not to stand up for me.. He got his own reason for not doing so.. and right now?? end result?? simply me getting hurt.. I had tried so much.. I endured all the nonsense done by his sister.. does he even know that is because of his sister that is why I didn't like to go over his parent house?? it is because I don't feel safe... I dun feel respected.. I dun feel appreciated.. I dun feel good!! all along I felt that I am an outsider to his family.. that make me more and more don't want to go over his place.. I never once rejected his mother request of asking us to go over had dinner.. but by going over meaning I have to endure all this nonsense, I still go..
He got his duty as a son.. I have my duty as a daughter-in-law.. I have my duty as a wife.. I respect his family.. I respect the elder.. but I have being emotionally hurt every time I am back from that house.. Do you even understand what is in my mind?? you knew that your sister mouth is so bad.. but nothing have being done.. your wife is hurt.. you knew but you didn't take any action.. you wife is crying alone and suffering but you don't know??
haiz... life still move on..... things still will happen.. I will end up crying again in the future.. you can choose to be silent.. but the crack in my heart will remain..
