oh great... i almost fainted in the train just now in the morning.. liew.. dun kw is because i low blood or wat sia.. =.= i come work den eat breakfast de.. den early morning run and chase train.. i wonder it is becoz of chase train with empty tummy that why wanna faint.. haiz....

now i wonder.. how long can i still stay in this house?? i feel like running away from home.. i am shouting at here again.. haiz.. well.. all thx to my dad.. =.= my life become so miserable liao..

brother there saying dad buying 4D.. he buy $80+.. i am damn furious.. i dun kw how many times i had told him not to buy so much.. if he could save up all them money~ think we are rich already.. how could him!!!! never spare a tot for others.. even he is my dad, i show no mercy.. i scolded him.. even if i will get shock by thunder.. i also must scold him.. using the power of his own daughter... i hope he will think... all these years.. how much we had suffer.. how much we had to go through.. how many time he said he dun wan to gamble.. countless...

i already take my last action... he said he will not gamble from next month onwards.. i was like WAT THE HECK~ why next month?? cant u just stop gambling from now onwards?? i also give words to him abt CNY.. since he gamble for the past few months... i gonna ban him from gambling this CNY.. even if it is a festival... i gonna ban him.. i kept all the mahjong.. and for safety purpose.. i gonna seperate the mahjong from INSIDE to all the part of our hse.. this will teach him a lesson.. i warn him, not to bring any frens to our hse to play mahjong.. i will not give face to him.. i will chase all his frens out of the hse.. even he beg me.. i will NEVER EVER pass him the mahjong.. if he insist on gambling.. sorry, i will move out of the house... i said it, i mean it..

i am a stubborn kid.. i had my own reason of being stubborn.. since young, my dad had break a lot of promises he gave us.. i dun trust him anymore.. i had taken my action.. now is up to him to decide.. and think.. what he really wan... he wan the whole family to break up??? or he wan the whole family to die.. is up to him to decide.. if he still so persistant, i will leave the house at once.. bringing my mom along..

he said he gamble coz he wanna send me to uni.. well.. i can dun go uni.. i dun believe i got hands got legs i cannot survive out there.. he use all these excuses.. wat the point??? if he think his daughter is so weak.. he is wrong... lets see... the day of me running away from home... soon i think..

all these years.. i am living in a happy house.. there were up and down.. there were time where my parents almost get divorce due to some jealousy.. coz mom is talking to a guy, dad was very unhappy.. i done everything i can to save this house.. i saw mom crying.. saw her red swollen eyes.. but who knows?? i was crying every night in my bed also.. every time when i scolded my dad.. who knows how i really feel??? every time, after i scolding.. i felt so guilty.. who will go scold own dad?? some time i even use some rude words.. or even ask him to go die.. i am wrong.. i kw.. but.. i just wanna him to spare a tot for us.. izzit tat difficult to stop gambling?? every time i scolded him, i really.. pain.. as a daughter.. how can i like this scold him?? is wrong.. i kw is wrong.. but in this family, ONLY i can save it from breaking up.. in this family, i am the only educated one.. in this family, i am the only sensible one.. in this family, i am the only girl that trying to do what ever she can to stop bad things from happening.. i just wanna keep this family safe and warm.. but... haiz..

all these years.. when did i really happy before?? every year de birthday, i am not happy when i suppose to be happy.. not because i getting older each year.. but.. haiz.. who really know what i wan?? even if is my birthday, i still have to see other ppl face whether they wan to attend my birthday a not.. if u ask me to count how many friends i have... i dun kw what to do.. i dun kw who to count.. it seem like i do not really have frens... everybody is wearing a mask.. i really dun kw what i really wan anymore.. i am always running about.. with no aims.. haiz..

the world is realyl cruel.. correct??? is so hard to be a gd man.. no matters how much tears i shed.. things will not change right?? must everything turn ugly den ppl will learn their lesson?? why must when ppl lose it den they will kw how to treasure.. not everything got 2nd chance.. a lot of thing, when u lose it, that it...

i plan my life.. i gonna get married at the age of 24-25.. start my own life.. for the next 4 to 5 years.. i gonna work real hard and earn enough money to buy myself a house.. and build an ideal house for my own.. is not easy i kw.. but i will work real hard..

is a long journey to where i know i suppose to be.. nothing is gonna drop from the sky... if i wan it, i gonna work hard for it... think i only can live for another 40 years?? so how am i going to live?? i have no dream.. so i just have to work towards my ideal life.. i only can live this once.. if i dun live to the fullest... maybe i will regret... i will find my way to the "home" i wan.. i gonna think what i wan for my future.. no more kiddy games.. i already going to be 21 year old.. the golden key year.. i will be an adult.. i can make my own decision.. so.. till than... let see what will happen next..

horrible terrible vegetable!!!!!!!!!!! =.=!!! haiz... wat a day... got into deep deep sleep till cannot wake up.. dun kw is gd or bad.. end up............................. *SIGH* =.=!!! sian~ now thinking.. should i go buy breakfast or not?!?!?!?!

hohoho.. gd morning!!! haha.. i had finish my power point slides and also my final report~ AHHHHHHH~ NOW I SO SLACK~~~ weeeeeee... =x Dr Nay today come back leh.. liew!! he very bad lo!! say i put on weight!!! *sigh* today his hair look so boy boy.. LOL!!!!!!! seem like only him we all will den talk until no tomorrow like tat.. haha..

well.. enjoying my last 2 weeks here.. hmmmm.. but den.. after tat... i will come back as a temp clerk.. LOL!!!!!! muahahah!!!! sian.. haven buy new year clothes lo.. sian sian sian!!!!! =x

well.. ytd did not go to work coz i am sick~ well.. flu.. again........ LOL!!!! dun ask me why i keep sick.. i have no answer for that.. i also hope i wun sick.. well.. since i at home.. rot until siao... i do some spring cleaning.. i clean up my whole room.. well.. i really CLEAN!!! i clean the whole ceiling.. all the walls... ceiling wall... (well.. now i found something gd abt being TALL liao...) oh well~ dun ask me go ur hse clean ur ceiling ar!!! =x hahaha.. hmmmm.. i pluck out every single stars on the ceiling and side walls.. wooooo.. =.= HARDWORK!!!! not easy sia.. especially those on top of the ceiling.. super tiring... hmmm.. let me see.. i also LIFT up my whole bed.. =.= its damn heavy i tell u... i even injured myself!! haiz.. my back hit the "leg" of the bed.. HARD METAL!!! end up swollen red red lo~ den.. own finger nail cut my finger =.= bleed.. LOL!! injured quite a number of places la.. anyway.. i found a lot of GOLD under my bed =.= haiz.. really wonder how come my room catch so much dust so easily.. i dun see my parents room have so much dust lo!!! =.= well.. i mop my room also.. den i also go mop my living room.. shun bian la.. hahaha.. =.= tiring.. what the best part is... BATH!!!!! =x after sweat like siao, take a bath~ WOOOOOOOO~ BEST!!!!

hmmmm.. nite time i went to buy my cousin present at AMK hub.. woahhhhh.. cost me a BOMB!! more den 1/5 of my pay now lo!!!! haha.. oh well.. 21st birthday.. so.. like tat lo.. =x hmmmm.. den talk to gail a while also.. haiz!!!! all the sister.. all 21st this year.. die liao lo... =.= gonna spend like siao this year.. all dun kw wat to buy... lol!!!!! headache.. all dragon all 21st this year.. ahhhhhhhhhh~ dun kw how leh..

haiz.. today totally have no appetite to eat.. early in the morning i brought chocolate waffles and hot tea for breakfast.. but de.. seem like the chocolate taste not nice or wat.. i never finish eating.. i ate only half of it.. haiz.. have no appetite.. during lunch time, i also not hungry.. actually wanted to eat.. but left only $4.. =.= wanted to go ATM press.. but BOTH machines spoil.. wa lao.. damn suey.. so.. end up i not eating.. =.=

den after i brought Jia Yi to lunch.. i went to Cheers.. thinking of getting instant noodles instead.. but i smell butter smell!!! den i brought de hotdog butter bakery.. haha.. very nice to eat.. =DD simply like the butter smile.. hmmmmm.. den.. i brought these 2 items la.. but den leh.. i only eat the hotdog.. the instant noodle i just leave it there.. firstly, i never take chopstick =.=!! haha.. secondly, i dun feel like eating.. haiz.. wonder why.. i have no appetite to eat..

T.T sighhhhhhhh.. what wrongs with me.....

mood swing swing recently.. things are not going to what i want.. all those rocks and shape edges are making me sick.. i am freezing cold.. mood swing swing till i only eat a meal the whole day.. mind is not thinking.. only can flood myself with online games.. dun wanna think of anything.. dun wanna do anything.. just lie on my bed and day dream.. i had my first meal ytd at 4 plus in the afternoon.. mom see me no see den faster get my food.. i simply just lock myself in my room and day dream.. *sigh* dun really have strength to do anything..

today come work really make me feeling worst.. some idiot so damn inconsiderate keep burping inside the train.. and it damn STINK!!!!!!! tmd.. if i know is who, i make sure i shout to tat person inside the train... how can tat person be so no manners.. damn it.. STINK the whole journey from Yishun to Dhoby Gaunt.. make me suffer the whole journey.. carrying my damn heavy lappy, feeling so sick, still have to like this suffer.. #$%^&^%$#@#$%^&* to tat person tat keep burp from yishun to dhoby gaunt, i hope u can be more CONSIDERATE a little.. stop causing troubles to other people.. the train already so damn pack.. and i carrying so heavy stuff.. dun make me suffer by ur GAS from ur MOUTH!!! damn it..

i have no strength to walk at all.. i walk as if i drank.. walk side to side.. and when i see the set of stairs in front of me.. it took me even longer to reach the top.. just a short stairs and yet i feel like climbing millions of it.. i am out of breathe when i finish climbing the short stairs.. haiz.. seem like i lack of energy.. =.=!! ahhhhhh... damn it...

well.. this is how i end my last day of 2008...


Early morning wake up at 7.40am... den late go out house.. chiong chiong chiong out.. lucky bring my Ez-Link card coz ytd i take out from wallet.. den rush out.. den chase bus 812.. early morning chase bus.. haiz.. den reach MRT, faster walk to take train... den.... i realise.. something super jialat.. a damn big mistake i made...





know is what???????






T.T i forget to bring my wallet... T.T

LOL!! wat to do~ i bring my PSP, iPod, mobile phone... but forget bring wallet.. die lo.. no breakfast to eat.. den i go back to work lo.. bo bian.. haha.. lucky today half day only la.. hmmmmm.. gonna skip some other stuffs.. let me see.. today my leg damn pain.. coz the shoe too small.. some more sharp point tip.. lol... den pain till very hard to walk lo.. well.. ^^ i got a job already.. after attachment i will continue to work at my current attachment place.. hehe.. ^^ $6.50 per hour..... 0830 to 1800... haha.. monday to friday... ^^ no need go work saturday.. well.. i agreed..

very hungry.. so i go staffs room look for food.. hehe... i found some sweet.. so i eat and keep drink water lo... den after a while, manager and some nurses came in.. wooooooo.. Old Chang Kee curry puffs 2 big boxes.. den Loh Loh ownself made 1 strawberry cake also.. wooooo.. ^^ how to starve myself??? so... EAT LA!!!! =x

den... during lunch time, hohoho!! sister mag on house.. i brought a total of 10 waffles.. 1 cheese, 2 plain, 3 peanut butter, and 4 chocolate.. HAHA!! chocolate of coz is mine... hehe.. well~ den at there saw Chloe and Emily.. lol!! den Chloe treat me drink tea.. hohoho~ well.. at there, i will NEVER starve sia.. =x whole day eat until so dman full.. no wonder i put on weight.. hmmmm..

well.. den when i finish work, i got problem walking leh.. den went to my fren hse at Bukit Panjang.. den wear my fren slipper.. LOL!! too painful liao.. bo bian.. =x den fren treat eat again~ woooooo~ whole day no need spend money sia.. =x haha.. hmmmmmm.. den by the time i reach home, was like 6 plus near 7pm??

since i gonna take a bath, so i go pack my room a little bit.. hehe.. since gonna sweat ma.. must well pack.. coz sure sweat.. hahaha.. pack all my sch stuffs nicely liao.. only left tat messy table haven pack.. ^^ den i faster go take a bath lo.. coz working again at 8pm.. at McDonald.. gonna do stock take.. haha.. well.. will be my last day =DD

hmmmmm.. have kinda bad time over there.. 1 person count ar count.. search ar search.. write down ar write down.. den still need to find ar find.. very jialat.. T.T haha.. the most i count is 1,200 plus ketchup packets.. count till i wanna die.. LOL!! boss and mayvis there stun.. hahaha.. well.. kinda jialat also.. know what happened????

THE LADDER DROP DOWN AND KANNA MY LEG!!!!! haiz.. kinda have a scar there leh.. haiz.. but damn jialat thing is.. the ladder drop down and make so much noise.. but nobody come in and check on me.. *sigh* end up?? continue to do stock take lo.. took me 3 hours just to settle dry products.. LOL!! the rest, freezer de and outside de, let boss settle.. hehehe.. freezer, too cold i cannot take it.. den outside... LOL!!!!! =DD oh well.. times up~ so i go off lo~ at least i managed to clear a lot leh.. hehe.. ^^

den countdown at my neighbourhood basketball court... heard fireworks sound also.. my place can hear.. but if wanna see, must go high place.. lol... well.. end up??? instead of see those BIG FIREWORK, i play with my own sparkles firework.. muahahha!! play a while jiu come back home liao =DD that how i end my year 2008 and welcome 2009..