Merry Christmas!! oh well~ this year christmas very different wor.. hmmmmmm~ Charlton come fetch me at noon.. hmmmmmm.. today we went a lot of place sia~ he drive ma.. hmmmmmm.. well~ also with his fren la.. sian~ so many place.. summerise a bit la.. got go~ Westmall, Lot 1, AMK hub.. lol~ awwwww~ so much of travelling~ now hungry le~ hehe..

Charlton forget abt my present!!!! ROAR!! well~ at least he very good la.. very safe drive me home.. hehe.. i learn a lot about car and driving today~ LOL!! and know more about Charlton also.. hhaha!!! he super scare of de speeding camera.. LOL!! also know his frens.. Issac.. but his other fren bit scary.. haha.. well~ Issac very friendly~ hehe.. not bad.. know more gd fren..

hmmmmm.. sian~ got a lot to write sia.. but lazy ar~ HAHA!! when free den write lo~ hehe~ HUNGRY!!!

man.. suddenly got this pain inside my heart.. suddenly the pain tat javier once gave me appear in my heart.. dun kw why.. out of no where de pain come to me.. maybe suddenly think about de hurt he gave me before bah.. gosh~ how to slp like this.. suddenly de pain filled into me.. gosh!! auto de.. oh well.. Dec.. somehow is de months tat me and him together bah.. haiz.. last christmas.. oh well.. he ruin my holidays.. i mean last year la.. haiz.. *emo* wat to do..

曾经让一个男生深深伤害到。。我还能爱一个人吗？？我的心。。还能为谁而跳动？？真的好害怕。。还好怕。。好害怕又被伤害到。。我在等待我的爱。。可是，世上真的有爱吗？是没有？还是我还没遇到？就算让我遇到了。。我还能去爱吗?

慧玲啊！慧玲！没有爱不会死。Jasmine一定会这样说的。可是Jasmine ，我现在不是想找爱而是好心痛“他”曾经这样对我。这些日子以来，我对我自己了解比较多了。可是，我还是为别人而活。。我一直把自己变成别人想要得慧玲。。哪个才是我？？每次经过一件会让我哭的事以后，我都成长。。可是，好难过哦！！可是我始终没有放弃我自己。。可是，不管有多少鼓励，不管有多少勇气，受伤始终是受伤了。。就想留了一个疤一样。。是怎样都抹不掉。。

每次伤心，睡一觉起来又是新的一天。日子还是要走下去。。可是，明年的这段期间是不是还是一样？我真的痛怕了。。也许，我还没有长大。。还记得小时候，多想快点长大！！想在长大了，直到有多辛苦了。。好想变成小孩~没有烦恼！！不会感到心痛。。

“忍，承受”，我就是因为这些字才受苦！！我以宽容的心对待别人，可是他人不领情反而咬定我。。我是不是太过宽容？？每个人都觉得我情绪太容易漂浮。。每次都搞到自己偏僻鳞伤回来。。不管做什么事，我都不对。。可是！！有人教我吗？？有谁愿意告诉我说我到底那里做错了。。既然没人教我，那我就自己去找答案。。可是每次都受伤。。我有一段时期，算是有犹豫症。。可是没人知道。。我没有人能诉苦。。因为我不想被人责怪。。我的心已经很痛了。。我能承受的已经到了极限。。我想找的不是骂我的人而是能听我说说话的人。。我要的是帮忙而不是更多的责备。。

有一次，也是我第一次要求一个人帮忙。。可是，他说到好像我每次都找他。。我真地感到好失望。。我的心，痛得连我自己都快支撑不住了。。可是连安慰的话也没几句。。然到这就是我自己找答案，自己找对的路，自己粪便对错，因有的回复吗？就是因为这样，每当我出事时，我不敢跟别人说话。。因为害怕。。

我的心好脆弱。。不要在伤害我了。。

Hehe!! Went for Crew outing today!! first time!!! i can attend from Start to End!!! hehehe~ kinda excited u see~ well~ we went to ECP for BBQ!!! hehehe!! well.. but it seem like not much food~ anyway~ i didn't really eat also la~ haha~ but instead!! i become nanny!! haha!! boss throw his 2 sons let me take care.. den 2 little mei mei, Yiling and Ailing keep on follow me~ lol!! gosh!! i am children lover?!?! haha!! anyway~ Boss sons, Daryl and Donovan.. well~ i become the leader to lead them to rent bicycle.. walk quite a lot leh!!! so ma fan!! haha!! oh well~ i get myself roller blade!! gosh!! i really wanna blade so much!!! i even dream tat i blading!! hehe~ de feeling!!! SO SHIOK!! oh ya!! before i go rent bicycle!! the first thing i do is run down to de beach and play with de water!!!! haha!! so fun!! well~ i still scare of the sea la.. but not tat scare la!! i mean just dun dare go down~ never bring extra clothes also~ so just play around at de top top there lo~ hehe~ den i this nanny~ need protect those little kids sia!! dun let them fall into de water~ haha!! busy day u kw!!

hmmmm~ rent bicycle/roller blade le~ den go eat a little food!! gosh!! mine cost me $13 for 2hours.. hehe~ quite ok la~ I NEVER FALL DOWN!!! hehe!! let me see.. i never eat much~ just ate satay lo~ well~ no forgetting to take lots of picture~ let me just upload some will do la!!

Well~ this catch my attention~ cause u can really see de sky SPILT into 2 colour~ This pic look so cartoon!! Dun u think so?!?!

Well!! When i go play my roller blade!! i saw this cloud in the sky!! RAINBOW CLOUD!!! well~ the picture cannot really show how beautiful it is!! RAINBOW DE LEH!!

Sitting on top of the stone!! See the sky different colour again~ hehe!! so peaceful~

Hehe~ took this when about to sunset~ colour nice hoh?!?!

This is Yiling.. SHE SO CUTE!! i like her a lot wor!!

Ruby, Ailing, Yiling.. hehe~ Ailing is Yiling sister wor~ awww!! see Yiling smile so cute!! haha!! they both love to stick with me~ aiyoooo!! end up my Ming Sheng say i "Wei Huen Ma Ma" liew!!!

This is on the way home~ Hehe~ PEACE ^^V

Well, have lots of fun today~ hehe~ gosh!! really like Yiling a lot leh!! she really so cute! hehe.. let me see.. today also went arcade.. well~ ECP de arcade la.. play Para Para.. but anyhow dance de la!! lol~ coz i only kw how to dance 3 songs.. LOL!! anyway~ after tat play DDR.. lol~ see Ming Sheng and Yu Ying play until i also wan play.. den i play with Ming Sheng first.. lol!! i very steady wor!! HAHA!! show them my power~ den i play with Yu Ying!! oh man!! tat stupid COW!! i mean my BOSS!! disturb me!! keep tickle my hand~ end up i miss a little~ LIEW!! my long chain~~ haha~ i play "Standard" den they all play "Light".. lol~ hmmm~ mine is more difficult in compared to their la!! haha!! they really "Fall Till Their Spec Broke".. HAHA!! translate into chinese.. HAHA!! wei wei~ Ruby can play de hoh!! i got full combo before de okay!! dun play play!! HAHA!! but den.... after dance continuous 15 stages.. my hand and leg went soft... cannot walk properly.. leg almost cramp also!! HAHA!! oh well!! think after i have a sleep~ i sure cannot move.. coz i never warm up before playing.. roller blade, play DDR, run here and there.. LOL!! now my leg and pipi already start to ache~ NOOOOOO!!! sob!! hope wun ache much!! coz Sat got work!! haha!! who wan come find me?!?! =x better not!! lol~!

very lazy le~ hehe~ today, from i wake up onwards i keep sneezing!! sneeze SUPER MANY DUPER EXTRA..... EHH!! MANY MANY A LOT OF TIMES!!!! sneeze until i cannot take it.. haha.. den~ think is time to clear de dust in my room~ den faster clean up!!! change everything.. hehe~ sneeze while changing also~ a lot of dust~ well~ sweat a lot~ coz i really clean up my whole room~ except de table~ after sweat take a bath~ AHHHH~ HEAVEN~~ feel so great!! haha!! haiz... see de table.. super many things.. like a mountain~ lazy to clear those.. for time being, clear those MUST clear de first bah~ mama very proud of me~ lol!! when she reach home she gone "WHAAAA".. lol!! is true hardly see i do housework de.. but once i do i cannot stop... HAHA!! tat is me~ if wanna do something, must do nicely.. if not dun do.. hehe..

Haha!! whole day playing games!!!! well~ let me see.. after cleaning up.. went to play gunbound with Charlton for a while.. until my dad is home with my FOODS!!! den i stop playing.. well.. wanna play after i eat de.. but Charlton went offline.. oh well~ den dun play le.. hehe.. well... den i go gather all my notes needed for Thursday IMGT.. wow~ a lots sia.. man!! dun think is tat easy le~ haha!! CHAM!!! oh well.. quite a lot to study~ anyway.. after i gather all the notes.. i put beside my lappy.. wanna start study de.. but end up.... PLAY AUDITION!! lol~ once play.... cannot stop.. play until 10plus.. LOL!! den at 11pm play gunbound again.. today is de last day to get 10k.. hehe~ well~ see de time!!! pass 12am already!! gosh!!! so bad!!! "TML" is the day for IMGT class test.. and i haven even start studying~ hmmmmmmmm~ PRAY HARD!!

gosh~ everybody kinda miss those old show from channel 8~ coz now tv show de wat wat thing ma~ hahaha!! show de history of TCS de.. den so many old song~ Xadrian la~ Yiyi la~ all miss those song sia~ ji tao start asking i got those song a lot~ LOL!!!! do i look like those kind of song lover?!?! lol~ but den!!!!! haha~ those show bring back memory~ hehe!!

gosh~ gonna start praying~ haha!! coz never really study!!!!!! HAHAHA!!! now very high~ hehe~ thx ivor and mk for the song~~ MUACK MUACK MUACK!!! hahaha!!! weeeeee!!! chao high!! music make me high liao~ HOHOHO!!!!!

awwww~ i wanna change my blogskin~ and i found now SUPER nice de!! but den!!!!! the code got error~ SOB!!!! end up cannot use~ SOB LA!! hope de author can edit fast fast den send to me~ HAHA!! coz i really like it~

hmmmmm~ finally saw ming kai in person officially.. lol~ well, today never bring my phone with me while i go eat and during eating.. coz i put inside my bag all the long ma.. den after i eat finish, i go take my phone~ wow.. got msg.. and some more de sender very Han Jian~ haha.. i mean rare to see.. Ming Kai.. lol.. he is ivor buddy la.. kw him thru ivor of coz.. hmmmmm.. somehow, he saw me Q-ing for food.. OMG!! he spot me with his little eyes!!! roar!! as usual i ask where is he.. and as usual he wun tell me~ sian~ but he say i can saw him de.. well.. i see see see DUN HAVE!!! liew.. den at this time, violet ask me wanna go buy fruit ma.. den i say OK!! haha~ while i on the way walk to the shop, i still try to SCAN thru the canteen.. those location tat can see me de.. but~ cannot find~!

well.. i got myself watermelon~ hehe!! my favourite fruits.. never buy mango from canteen 3!!! coz VERY NAN CHI!!! tat time i buy, i eat one piece, i push whole plate to Alvin(my classmate).. hahaha~ anyway, when walking back~ continue to scan!!!! but scan a lot of teachers and students but cannot spot ming kai~ haiz~ T.T why always cant spot de.. not fair!!!

den i go back to my seat de.. den i turn rite side diagonally and TADA!! i spot him!!! he wearing black T-shirt~ hohoho!! den i msg him tell him I SAW U!!!!! not bad~ prove tat my eyes no problem!! not small eyes!!! haha!! well.. some how i peek at him a few time to DOUBLE CONFIRM!! well.. did saw him look back.. so~ 100% CONFIRM is him le~ haha~ den see him a few time, he ask me go over.. lol~ hand signal sia "come come.." i was like giving back signal "huh?? me??" somemore i still point to my nose.. omg!! so lame!! den is sure tat he asking me go over.. ehhhh~ kinda scare.. but slowly go lo~ hmmmm~ when reach his table.. i was.. ehh.. kinda gong dun kw wat to do.. den i stare at Ming Kai to lock his face!! coz i super forgetful~ at least must kw "THIS IS MING KAI FACE" HAHAHA!!!

well.. den he tell me de one sitting opposite him is Jesper.. i was like "HUH?!?!??! who is he.." Ivor was sitting next to Ming Kai ma.. den he say is tat guy playing gunbound tat time de.. i was like "erm.. i think i only remember stupidnoob.." lol~ Ming Kai and Ivor den tell me his nick.. but.. LOL!!! i very forgetful de ar~ paiseh ar~ but i kw got such person la.. only never go remember his IGN.. ohhhhh!!!! see my skype.. so he is JB~ say JB i kw liao ma!!! say Blomqvist how i kw is who~ haha!! well.. den Ming Kai was daring JB to stand up.. some how wanna compare my height and his.. i was kinda =.= coz i go there, is just to compare height.. liew.. den i run back to my table.. HAHA~ when run back, heart beat fast sia.. kinda scare scare..

well.. after tat i run to Co-op.. wanna buy some stuff for lesson.. haha~ coz not sure got extent ma~ well.. Ming Kai also come to Co-op.. haha~ was kinda funny u see~ a bit too coincidence tat thinking of the same place to go~ haha.. hmmmm.. den buy chocolate.. he keep say dun buy dun buy~ LOL!! dun kw wat he wanna do also..

den my classmate also skin very THIN everything throw to me to pay.. as in pay tgt first.. liew~ A LOT LEH!!! den all i pay first.. den Ivor and Ming Kai say "ehh~ shun bian" lol~ *Faint* dun bully me la!!! haha.. hmmmmmm.. today DEL, first time wanna sleep.. really very tired.. she chiong the topic until like rushing plane.. a bit hard to tackle..

well, today very cold!!! till now i still wearing my jacket.. hehe.. hmmmm~ mama went over to grandma hse to stay.. take care of my grandma when my aunt went oversea for a trip.. oh well.. i am the only gal in de hse now~ haha~ T.T haiz.. i think maybe i should go dental check up.. my gum like bleedy this few days wor.. i think maybe is de Wisdom tooth!!! got wisdom also must suffer de lo!!! but my teeth not pain la.. hmmmmm.. only grow little bit nia~ maybe when it grow full liao den go check up.. den~ can go white white my teeth also~ HAHA!! long long long time no go check teeth le~ hehe..

hmmmmm.. today i take Bus 171.. no matter is go school or come back from school, i took de SAME bus!! i remember de little bear on de window de driver put.. and also!! DE SMELL OF DE BUS!! liew.. like bicycle oil like tat.. will faint sia.. sky super black den i faster chiong home!! haha!! lucky no rain yet~ when home~ MAN!! SO SIAN!! wan sleep also cannot.. coz i kw if i sleep~ mean until next day le~ HAHA!! need a lot of sleep also.. tml lesson 8am.. so today must sleep super early.. haiz~ tml lesson.... a lot break.. every single lesson got at least 1-2hours break.. so stupid!! haiz~ JIAYOU!! weekend might need to chiong midnight~ Monday got Common Test for DEL.. Thursday is class test for industrial management(IMGT).. JIAYOU!! IMGT no problem for me la.. only DEL.. kinda scare~ NEED CHIONG!! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!

*doze* gosh~ so sleepy.. tired!!! wan orh orh soon~ hehe~ oyasuminasai!! おやすみなさい!!

OMG! I GOT WISDOM!!!!!!! know why????? cause kanna wisdom tooth~ sob sob!!! today i found out little bit of de teeth growing out.. rite top de.. LOL!!! no wonder my mouth weird weird this few days~ HAHA!!

RUBY GOT WISDOM!!!!!