currently now in store using stanley lappy.. hehe.. well.. wun need to scare not connection to use.. hahaha.. hmmmmm.. since past 12am le.. let me wish Darren happy 19th birthday.. darren is my dear cousin yiwen de boyfriend.. haha.. those tat got come my birthday de... sure kw who is him.. and also who is my cousin... hehehe...


hmmmmm... i pull herman along also... hmmmmm... wanna pull yang ching.. but... she pok liao.. haiz.. tml they plan to watch jackie chan movie.. the cute baby one.. Rob-B-Hood... haha.. the baby so cute lo.. really wanted watch it so much... hope tml got space... haha..


hmmmmmmmm... tat xiong getting more and more BHB liao.. hahaha.. shy what pigu sia... nth to be shy of also.. and hoh.. yiyi so cute sia... he inside... i outside.. and we talk in msn.. lame lo... whaahha.. if yiyi saw this.. he sure say "i always cute de lo".. liew.. correct?? haha


today work till like siao.. so jialat lo.. ppl so many many many.. even got customer give me black face.. arghhhh.. if i can, how wish i go take chopper and chop him up.. haiz.. really work till wan to die.. but.. successfully pass my day.. den i waited for yiyi.. we went for supper just now too... hmmmmm.... after he finish his RJ.. think can go home le bah.. haha...


hmmmmmmmmmmm.... sian... so boring lo... tml... gonna play hard... wahahhaa... long time no play liao.. haha... let's rock and roll.. tml we will go kenny roger eat sia.. wonder.. how the food like.. haha.. can't wait for tml..

dun feel like got any title to put.. anyway.. whole day nth much to do..... hmmmmmmmm... well.. my mum is clever enough to pull me out from the hse.. haiz.. bu kui is my mama.. got the skill the pull me out.. who ask me is her daughter.. hoh?? hahaha...


well.. bobo.. very surprise... ytd when i go meet joanna.. bobo was there too.. he was one of the 2 unknown guy... well.. he didn't tell me he is bobo... liew...... didn't even hear he speak.. but he kw is me.... but i dun kw is him sia.. well.. coz i chuan seng bring he and nother guy along de... so joanna dun kw them... when he told me he saw me ytd at northpoint, i was shock.. but i was more shock when he say he is one among the guys.. well.. there only got 3 guys.. if excluded chuang seng.. only 2..... lol.... so he is bobo... see him quite weird when eating at the food court... well.. now i kw who is bobo le.. lol... but he didn't speak to me.. lol... stupid him sia~! lol...


hmmmmmmmmm... on the way back home saw the cute little girl girl again.. haha.. i just love her lots.. coz she is cute.. and very guai wor.. she sure very pretty when she grow up.. hehe..


hmmmmmmmm... today.... nth much happening... haiz.. tml work le.. sian.. work from 5pm to 10.30pm.. sob sob... boring......


well.. another surprise thing is tat xiong is back to tag my blog liao wor.. so surprise too.. i tot he already forget me this fren le.. :x well.. haven got to see him since his birthday.. gonna 3 weeks le bah... haiz... he.. bo xim de la.. nvm... say he bo xim.. sure use tat thing and shoot me.. i kw i kw.. seee... i so guai.. i listen to u.. others i dun listen.. haiz.. who ask is u the one... bo bian... well... even we are very gd buddy... gd fren.. but like what i said.. we are getting further.. even msg, call... face to face... also feel that we are not tat close anymore.. kw why?? coz i feel that he is hiding a lots of stuff inside him le.. and for me to kw.. he is not tat true-ful anymore.. i think... haiz... from what my feeling tell me.. he got stress inside him... maybe work, maybe study, and even maybe of girls.. haha.. am i right xiong?? myabe not.. who knows.. last time.. no matter what my feeling told me.. is always so true.. but now?? izzit true?? since we are getting further a part.. maybe my feeling is not true anymore.. haiz.. just like an transparent force between us.. let me feel so scare... dun even dare to get close to him anymore.. dun dare to talk to him face to face.. making me more fear of him.. seeing my msg ytd nite.. got one he send me.. it goes like this "if u think tat i 4get u, well, think again... i may not always be around to get in touch, but den.. i'll be rite here just the same person tat u knew from the start.." hmmm.. does this make sense??? the very same person??


the xiong i kw.. always bully me.. tend to pull my rubber band from my hair.. love to bully me and make me chase him all around in sch.. make me angry and i will hit him like crazy... got stuff happen i will be the first to kw.. nothing keep between us.. got thing happen will ask me to discuss... if got anything happy wun run away from my eyes.. an idiot tat 4ever wun write me a testimonial even on my birthday too... a guy that wil make me cry often.. ask him to quit smoking but yet dun wan to.. scare me kw tat he smoke before he told me.. i still remember.. tat time when i go CPCC mac(before u offically told me), when my was buying stuff, and when my friend told me that u smoke.. i totally dun believe.. coz u told me.. u promise me that u wun smoke anymore.. i chose to trust u... but now.. when i think it over again... the thing tat blow de balloon.. u are trying to blow away the smell rite?? and when i headed outside.. u was gone.. why?? becoz u trying to run away.. and try to get rid of the smell before i catch u?? is tat rite?? well.. nvm... anyway.. not important anymore.. i was not tat important as usual like in the past... haha..


Yi Xiao Er Guo... anything u can get away just by one laugh.. hahahaha... u taught me how to be heartless.. the one always spell wrong words.. "tired" and "tried".. and now.. even "cousin" u spelled "cosine".. and so on.. u always bring me to safety... u always prevent me from being hurt.. always use the same method to let me learn.. hint me something yet dun tell me is what.. and wan me to find out.. and kw what is the problem.. i grow up now.. even i learn a lot of stuff there, i still listen to u.. why?? coz u is xiong.. i still have tat trust in u.. kw that what u suggest and do is always correct.. well.. xiong is also a person that cannot lie to me.. coz i kw when he is lying.. but lately.. is getting more and more disappointed.. haiz.. he forgot my birthday... i almost cry out in front of him when he say the wrong date.. infront of him and joanna.. tears is in my eye, but i chose to look else where.. make sure he didn't see that.. well.. bet he dun even kw how hurt i am rite?? haiz.. my birthday present.. also joanna help him chose de.. so bo xim rite??


well.. dun kw why.. it seem like he dun dare to face me... dun kw why.. "scare me get hurt" i think is the main thing ba.. but xiong.. let me tell u.. the more u scare i get hurt, the most u hurt me.. get it?? i kw u dun wan me to get hurt.. i understand.. and i kw i too busybody too... bla bla bla... everything is just becoz i over concern... seem like i gonna control.. sometime over concern can scare u... ya.. i kw.. i understand... dun worry... i wun do tat again.. no matter how hurt i am.. dun worry... i am ok.. coz i 18th already.. maybe u are happy to see me saying tat i wun concern u too much another.. does tat mean freedom?? seem like i really a big trouble to u..


"u think too much".. does this sound familier to u?? tat what u always told me.. whenever i feel sad.. got thing happen to me.. and even when i guess what u are thinking.. this phrase.. will sure come out of ur mouth... out of all the female friends u got.. i may be one of the only one, tat kw u well.. but tat is in the past.. now?? maybe there is plenty of girls out there trying u kw u well.. and maybe, they kw u even better den me.. and no matter i exist or not.. is not important le rite?? i kw.. u hate it.. u hate me being like this... hate me behave like this.. coz all these.. u dun like it.. i kw.. i all kw.. but i still chose to be this way.. why?? i dun kw.. ha.. nvm..


i am happy to have a fren like u.. very happy.. our friendship will never end.. i dun kw how long it can last.. but i hope it will last forever... all the happy, angry, sad, celebration, down, up, everything, that we being thru together.. all this will be a wonderful memory in my life.. i will keep it forever.. and no one can take tat memory away.. the tears i drop now, is happy tears.. even it hurt a bit when i say those thing on top, but now, i having happy tears.. i will be strong.. even u not around me.. i will try not to get hurt again.. and even if i do, i will be stronger again.. i kw i easily get cheated... i kw whenever u and yiyi are around, i wun get cheated.. i kw i am blur.. but i also kw strong point too.. my strong point?? eh.. i dun kw.. i only kw i getting more and more blur recently.. nvm.. haha.. not important rite.. dun worry.. in the end.. i still have to say thx you... for giving me all the memory... thx..


oh well... is getting late now.. but i dun think i will be able to slp anyway.. haha.. stop here bah..

well... firstly.. let me wish joanna happy 18th birthday... hahaha... just gone out with not long ago… in the late afternoon… well.. got to pass her the present rite?? Hahaha… anyway, she still never change la.. she intro me some of her fren.. I think should be poly friend bah… well.. 2 of the girls name.. inside all got “ling”.. haha.. me also got… wahahaha…


hmmmmmmmmm… i ownself DIY the candle… and also a pair of the earring… well.. she like it quite a lot.. so I think it is ok… haha.. at least it did make her smile.. well.. Joanna, yang ching and me also took neoprint after they have their lunch… hahahaha… the photo look quite nice…. Well.. Joanna said that I always so photogenic one.. in photo will be nicer den real life.. hahaha.. well.. quite agree with her.. :x I really not tat pretty anyway.. but in photo did look better… well… Joanna say maybe coz I slim down le.. tat why look nicer.. AND~!~! I never tie my hair when I take the photo today.. this is the 3rd time I took letting my hair down.. but this is the only time tat look nicer.. maybe coz I cut hair le.. tat why… hahaha.. love the photo man…


hmmmmm… let me see… oh ya… tat pig head xiong.. hahaha.. didn’t believe tat he did so much just to explain the anonymous is who… well.. tat anonymous is not him.. but is his COSINE… LOL~!~!~! well.. it should be cousin.. but den.. WAHAHA… is a really joke stuff u kw… well.. I received his sms in the middle of the night rite after I fall a sleep.. well.. his msg goes something like this.. “my cosine stay over my hse for a few days.. and he told me tat he tag ur blog.. I read it, I warn him not to tag… sori..” well.. coz I am very blur coz I woke up in the middle of the nite just to see this msg.. well I saw the first 2 words, “my cosine”, I just simply tot is those msg like those play play type de.. a joke or something.. but after I read the whole msg.. den I wanna laugh… coz I think he wanan say “cousin” but instead he spelled out “cosine”.. haha.. I did reply him back.. not forgetting~!~! to shoot him.. oh man.. how could a guy score B4 for his English in his O level end up spell it wrongly.. gosh.. I really think… they mix up our paper.. haha.. well.. seem like I always shoot him in his English.. hahaha… anyway… at least our friendship is still strong enough, I think… well.. do feel that our friendship is a bit unstable.. coz I feel that we getting me weird lately.. haiz.. well.. nvm… anyway.. he also flood in my msn and my email saying that tat person tat tag in my blog is his cousin… hahaha.. well.. does this show that he dun wan me to get hurt easily?? Or well.. top making wild guesses.. no use also.. haha.. but also~!~! he told me he dye hair again.. man.. wonder why he keep dye.. $60 sia… and he dye copper red.. gosh.. when he also kw I dye copper red as well, he was like.. “wtf…. So suey…” haiz..





this is one of the photo i love lots.. from left to right... Yang Ching, Joanna, Ruby... hehehe... cute rite??

wow.. just read ah ma give me de email.. ah ma is jasmine... well.. how to relax when read the last sentance sia.. T.T ignore me... sob sob.. ah ma so bad.. wahahahahhaha... anyway, thx ah ma.. well.. since ah ma understand me... can tat make me feel better?? hahaha... at least.. somebody out there.. do take time to be in my shoe and understand how i feel.. haha.. there is light out there somehow.. right ah ma?? haha..


well.. something bad happen just now.. my dad fall... haiz.. maybe is becoz of the blood circulation.. maybe the blood never circulate good enough den he giddy.. and he kind of faint.. when i heard the bang come out from his room.. me and my mama was shocked like siao... den he hurt his bad.. oh gosh.. a big long scar... his skin came off.. but blood didn't flow out la.. but can see blood... oh man.. so scary... i make sure he tell me what he wanna do b4 he make any move..


yawn.. today whole day was so dead.. headache.. well.. simply becoz i didn't move much... didn't think much.. haiz.. was so tired yet can't get into slp.. feel so empty.. anyway.. it doesn't matter.. haha... i make the dinner today wor.. hmmm.. taste not bad.. of coz.. with my mum help also la.. if me alone... sure cannot make it de la.. hahaha...


anyway... i think i gonna have new internet connection.. soon... wahahahhahaha... we will see...

wow.. what a surprise.. a sore loser appear in my blog once again and disturb my peace.. oh come on.. scare i talk bad abt u?? and do u think i dun kw who are u?? oh come on.. IP address is not fake.. and do u think ur IT skill is tat pro enough to beat me?? why not wait some more years kid?? if u like to challenge IT.. i wun lose to u also.. i got so much of fren kw much more den u.. do u think u can beat me?? just had enough of ur big words.. and if u think what u say will affect me?? think again.. i not tat ruby anymore.. so.. why not save ur breathe in ur studies or ur whole stupid problem.. think that will be much more better dun u think so.. stop wasting ur PRECIOUS time on me.. what a waste... anyway.. i wun have the time to entertain u either.. just wasting my time.. i rather use this time to play with dogs.. or even my hamster.. time will be useful on them den on u.. muahahahha... jerk... :x opps.. did i just mention jerk?? oh.. maybe moron is much better... should use more IQ next time before u wanna do anything... hahahaha...


well.. having a sore loser visiting my blog... does tat mean that this person regularly visit my blog?? oh man.. what a pervert... wanna kw my stuff by visiting my blog?? aiyo.. now den i kw tat u are such a xiao ren ar... haiz... what a sad thing... anyway, i wun have any interest to talk any further.. i rather use the time to do something else... lalala...


anyway.. went to causeway point not long ago... in the afternoon... watch the movie Little Man with herman.. wahahhaa... get to know more abt herman.. oh my god.. he is such a clever person.. hahaha... he is such~! SUPER CLEVER person.. wahhahahaha... hahahahha... anyway... dun wan to say further more.. wahahaha... coz.. is up to u all to find out.... lalalalalalalalala...


anyway, i bought another book today.. CHICKEN SOUP AGAIN~! that gonna make me full... haha.. look like i wun be hungry for a moment now.. lalalalala... aiya... hmmm... have a great day today... lalalla.. spend so much today also.. haiz..


oh ya~! my dad is home today.. he discharge from hospital already.. lalalala... well.. the scar still look very scary... but i not scare.. hahahaha.. hope he get well soon..

I CURSE MY BROTHERS~!~! why can't they just shut their mouth up.. wtf... i can curse them till they die.. wtf.. i hate them.. why i will have such brothers at home... I GET SO IRRITATED WHEN THEY TALK... really wanna take something to make them shut up... SHIT U 2~!~! why can't u all just grow up.. only kw how to bet soccer.. hope one day u 2 will die becoz of tat.. I AM EVIL NOW... EVIL AND DEVIL TOWARDS U 2... I WILL DO ANYTHING TO CURSE U 2 TO DEATH~!~!


listen up.. i can be devil.. and most evil... dun ever dare me and trying to provoke me.. i make sure u will die till nice nice.. dun see me outside so gd to bully.. when u all step on my tail.. make sure u pray hard everyday... wanna try to make me angry?? i will show u my anger.. and show u the evil side of me... wanna try??? we will see....


i can be the most evil person in this world... we will see what will happen next.. most likely i will go to the kitchen and chop them into pieces.. ARGHH~!~! FUK THEM ALL~!~!~!~!


see... i getting more and more evil.. ARGHHH~!~! shit u all la.. wtf..

My life is in a complete mess… why it was like no matter what I do.. is all wrong.. what is happening.. why no matter what I do is wrong?? I knew it… my life is suffer… when I am born… I am suffering.. I born to suffer.. why I in this state again… I tot I wun end up this way…


If I chose “A” path… I will wrong.. coz I kw no matter what he do for me.. what he think for me.. is all correct.. but if I chose “B” path.. I will be sorry to another person.. coz I bring him to this state.. how can I like this..


Life is getting worst… life is never better anyway… why not just end it.. I really tired of this life.. I am blind.. so all the while.. all this kind of stuff.. is just nothing.. is only the skin.. the skin of beauty for a trouble..


Why I end up this way again… a words of a best friend.. a fren like a family members to me.. making in this state now.. what should I do.. life is never easy… should I chose A or B… if I chose B… I gonna be responsible for all the loss… and tat maybe will take me 2 to 3 month times to fully bare responsible.. I am really very confuse.. what is happening.. what should I do.. why end up this way…


Maybe I am just blind in a while time.. I shouldn’t have done this all.. izzit?? Xiong ar.. I understand what u trying to say.. but u left me in this state.. how cruel are u… haiz… think… the most cruel thing u done to me is to ask me to think.. u kw… u kw that I cannot think..


Nvm.. fine.. I always at the bottom of suffering.. no ppl can really help me anyway.. I always get become like this.. what the point.. if really like this.. I think… I got to chose path B… the only way out… if not.. I really gonna suffer always… I dun wan to be like tis… pls…


I still suit to stay at the bottom of the most suffer place… I shouldn’t have come out of tat door.. now I kw… now I understand.. being happy is a wonderful thing.. and now.. I kw that.. the ruby now.. is fake.. is not the real ruby.. she is meant to be suffer.. tat is why ruby is born.. correct?? Looking back at the past… for the past half a year.. or abt ¾ year… ruby is not there.. she is dead.. she is lost.. she is not her real-self.. everything is just… like tat.. she have to fake a smile on her face.. she has to act happy in front of everyone.. she have to be someone tat is not her.. why she need to fake a smile in front of ppl??? Why she need to become like this?? Why?? Do u all kw why?? Nobody does..


She dun like her life.. maybe she is in depression… so many time.. she wanna end her life.. but she wun go end it just like tat.. act happy.. a smile.. what is the purpose?? All becoz she wanna be someone tat wun give ppl stress… someone tat can bring a smile to others too.. and most of all.. she dun wan to have ppl hate-ing her… she dun wan to have conflict.. she dun like conflict.. she like to live in a peaceful place.. but her life dun allow her to do so… she is suffering.. no one dare to help her.. no one willing to help her.. what she scare most?? Ppl scolding her.. she scare ppl scolding her.. her heart is very fragile… and nobody kw tat.. she wanna run away… she dun wan to be found.. she dun wan to get out of tat door again.. coz is too hurt..


She admit.. she is weak.. but is not her fault rite?? So much things happen.. and having no choice left.. she is weak.. why?? Becoz no one taught her how to be strong.. she is weak.. why?? Coz no one help her when she need help.. she is weak.. why?? Coz nobody try to understand her when she is alone.. she is weak.. why?? Coz she has to fight everything all by herself.. in this world.. there is more ppl tat is weaker den her.. and since now, she cannot even beat this weak feeling inside her.. how is those ppl tat is more weaker den her de beat it?? They sure suffer more den her.. why.. she ask why.. why god make her born in this world.. what did she done is her previous life.. and cause her like this.. how bad is her when she is in the previous life?? Suffer.. WHY MUST I SUFFER.. who can hear the scream deep inside me..


All this, maybe is depression… she understand.. she undergo depression before.. and b4 she knew it.. everything is too late.. she wanna run away from it.. in her dictionary.. she always dun wanted to put “run away” into it.. why?? Coz she dun like to run away.. but her life make her wan to run away… is getting harder and harder… her life is getting tougher and tougher.. what to do?? Just wan a normal life.. tat all.. nth more.. but why.. everything keep on happening and stop her from living in a normal life.. she is not the little gal in her parents heart anymore..


In my family.. the 2 bro.. dun study gd.. cannot even speak English.. cannot even find a job now.. and they both live all becoz my mum and dad is working.. and me.. I can survive coz of them.. but… mum can’t work anymore.. coz she need to take care of my grandma.. aunt giving her 1k per month as to keep the hse as gd as before.. my mum earn more den that before taking care of grandma.. but no choice.. she have to take care of grandma.. or else nobody can take care of grandma anymore.. and left my dad.. working… but now.. dad himself even end up in hospital.. in this condition.. when den he can go back to work?? After tat operation.. seeing him suffer so much.. does anyone really kw how much stress I gonna handle?? Dad not working.. my tat 2 bro also like tat.. den my mum.. do u think her one person strength can provide the whole family?? Dad in this case.. almost throw his life away.. if he found out a bit late.. maybe I will just lose him.. I cannot afford to lose anyone of them… coz when my grandma in hospital.. tat already hurt me tat much.. if I really lose my dad.. I dun kw how am I going to handle.. coz the whole hse will be me to take care.. having 2 bro tat totally useless.. and mum working so hard just to provide us a good life.. and my dad, doing his best also hope can provide us a good life and can send me study further.. my dad always wan to send me to university.. I dun wan to let him down.. but.. for the next 3month I think he can’t work.. den the hse.. left only me.. I am the only one tat can do it.. I am the only one tat can handle everything.. I kw English.. I can work.. I can take care of the family.. and most of all I have to repay the kindness of my parents for taking care of me for the past 18 years.. but who really kw who is ruby???


Family conflict.. she tot her family is the most perfect one.. without any conflict.. all the aunties and uncles all in harmony.. but who knows tat conflict occur on chinese new year time?? I still remember what happen tat particular year.. they were fighting.. what they fighting abt?? Hse… money… all grandma de hardwork.. her hse.. they are fighting over for it.. I tot this kind of stuff wun happen.. but.. it did happen.. I still remember clearly what grandma did… she cry.. the very first time I saw her crying.. in my whole life.. she cry.. her tears hurt me so much.. but I am a kids in this adult eyes.. nth we can do we help.. coz end up will just get scolded by them for being busybody..


Frens.. I lost 2 fren tat I kw very long.. one I kw for 11years… another for abt 9years.. I lost this 2 friends.. and who really kw how I felt anyway?? One of them coz I being betray by her.. being backstab.. talk bad abt me.. even trying to hurt me behind my back.. this girl I kw for 11years.. did this to me.. who kws how long I cry?? Who kw how hurt I am when I decided to break this friendship with her.. who kw how hard it is to make this decision… who really kw what I being thru when I heard everything abt how she hurt me how she betray me by my other frens… who ever know tat I cry in public, in bus, in bball court.. all becoz I made this decision??? Who ever kw how hard it is to accept the fact tat she did all this to me.. who ever show me a pair of hand wanted to help me?? Who ever did it?? No one.. not even my friends.. none of them help me.. but end up.. just nag nag nag.. saying.. what the point.. frens after all.. why need to break frenship becoz of a small thing.. SMALL THING?? U all call that a small thing.. why not put urself in my shoe.. what will u do?? Dun tell me u will thx her for betraying u.. thx her for hurting u.. coz I wun believe it.. and do u all kw how it felt when others ask me abt her?? “hey.. where u and ur gd fren.. tat fat fat gal.. tat hang out with u all the time??” what am I goin to answer?? How am I going to answer them?? Should I say.. oh.. tat betrayer ar.. I dun contact with her anymore.. she not my frens anymore.. should I say this?? This is not me.. I dun like this..


Another I kw for 9years.. dun kw what the hell happening to us also.. things just change so fast.. without u noticing it.. what happen to us I dun kw.. I just kw it dun feel gd losing another fren tat kw so long.. I do all of I can to help.. but it seem like nothing had help.. now he got his own life.. his own fren.. and me?? Just a memory… who care anyway… who did kw tat I exist?? I am just a stone.. a blur sotong tat everyone dun wish to see…


I still remember… when I was in sec 1… my classmate.. play all kind of stuff on me.. I dun kw what I done.. I did nothing.. I am just doing nothing.. and ppl all start to bully me.. I still remember.. the very first PE lesson in my secondary sch life.. it was a terrible mess.. when we were doing warming up.. we heard some noise.. and they all accuse me thinking tat I farted… BUT I DID NOT~!~! I just did nothing.. just doing warming up like what the teacher ask us to.. den the whole class laugh at me.. how I feel when this kind of stuff happen??? Who try to kw me?? NONE~! No one step out to help me.. and when I start to try talking to ppl.. they try to keep a distance from me.. coz they think me the one making the funny noise when in PE lesson.. come on.. I am 13 years old tat year.. how am I going to handle?? I am so timid.. nth I can do.. teacher also dun care much.. bet the PE teacher dun like me… coz everytime I saw him… he will use this view to look at me.. which I dun like.. is like.. he hate me.. I dun kw why.. I did nothing~!


And in class.. these few girls.. trying to make fun of me.. saying all the words.. my weight… etc.. trying to bully me even more.. and got this time.. one of the girls use her own handphone trying to pretend he is one of the guy in our class.. tat guy is boon hau.. well.. boon hau same pri sch with me.. and I got his hp number as well.. so they can’t full me.. I still remember clearly.. the msg she send me was “I am boon hau… can u be my stead..” oh come on.. how on earth I kw what does stead mean when I am 13 years old.. I dun even dare to think abt tat.. but after I check my phone book, I found out tat, the number they use to send me the sms is one of the girls number.. den further more they send me some more msg.. “I really love u.. tml I will give u a letter” things like tat.. well.. what surprise me was.. one of the girls among them came to me saying tat got one letter in my bag… well.. I not tat stupid.. I kw what they up to.. if it is not them, how they kw tat there will be one letter in my bag… at tat time.. I really think they are so stupid u kw… I den search my bag.. but I cannot find tat letter… den tat girls come to me and den search my bag den show me tat letter.. haiz.. another move that tell me is them the one putting the letter in.. after she take the letter out from my bag, kw what I did?? I just tear the letter without looking at it.. if they trying to hurt me.. sry.. they fail.. this kind of stuff, wanna play with me?? Sry.. pls find others…


Who kw how hurt I am when they hurt me just like tat.. and not even tat.. when ever the teachers say group project… I will fear.. why?? Coz no one would willing to find me to group with them… tat why I hate group work.. I hate even more when the teacher ask us to group ourself.. everytime the teacher say so, I will say this “oh man.. die liao.. why!~!~! why group ourself…” den I will try to suggest teacher to let me work alone.. but the teacher just dun allow.. when I in sec3, got one time.. another group work.. another group ourselves.. haiz… guess what?? I am alone again.. nobody wanna group with me.. den teacher put me into this group… tat I dun like… I almost cry out.. I really almost cry out.. teacher den talk to me.. but.. she is just… asshole… what she kw is just shout shout shout in tat speaker.. sound like a chicken sound.. so sharp.. so hate when she face the speaker beside ur ear and she shout across the class.. do u kw how bad ur ear is???


This is just some of what happen in my secondary sch… haiz.. Isolated??? Maybe.. maybe tat when my heart is so weak and hurt bah… everything tat happen.. one by one… hurt me… but… no one help me… days pass… things never get better.. but even get worst.. stuff that I need to go thru.. is more hard den u all could think.. and this time?? WHO WILLING TO HELP ME??? Where is all the people tat call fren?? When need help come find me.. when nothing, will they think of me?? Wun… when they having fun.. will they ask me to join in?? or they just think of themselves.. when they in trouble.. will they find me?? Yes.. why?? Coz I can help them solve the problem?? Correct?? I wun kw.. is just like.. everytime… when something happen to them.. they will find me.. maybe I am a gd fren to them.. tat why whenever they got problem they can find me.. they can share with me. Maybe I am trustable to them.. and tat the reason tat they can shoot everything out to me.. and hope I can help them.. well.. I dun mind.. I really dun mind.. what I mind is.. when I need help.. will they help me?? Haiz.. Wo Fu Chu De Yi Qie…. Hui De Dao Hui Bao Ma??


In this world.. I hardly listen to my parent… but.. in this world.. I will only listen to 2 ppl.. xiong and yiyi.. yiyi will protect me from harm… xiong can prevent me from harm.. whenever something happen.. I can turn to them… but now.. is getting harder and harder.. is just like.. the connection… is getting weaker and weaker.. xiong is getting further away from me.. yiyi is so busy with his work and sch.. well.. xiong too.. the only 2 person in this world.. is so busy.. den who can I turn to anyway?? Does they kw how important they are to me?? Does they kw no matter what they say, can affect me so much?? Their words.. can cause me to cry hard.. laugh hard.. angry hard.. they are just like my family members.. but what’s the point anyway… now I only will get scolding by them more and more.. does they kw how scare I am??? Does they kw the fear inside me?? Coz they are so important to me.. tat why I fear more.. whenever I think… I think tat they might scold me.. my heart beat so fast.. I really fear a lot… coz I really scare ppl scold me.. especially them… maybe they wun kw how important they are to me.. I even fight with my ex-boyfriend coz of them.. coz I put them more important den anyone else.. my ex jealous abt them.. my ex jealous abt my frens.. coz I put them all more important den him.. haiz.. but they dun kw.. coz I didn’t mention to them at all..


Well.. after a good cry.. I feel much better.. it seem like writing my blog is the only way to make me feel better.. after all.. my blog wun scold me.. my blog wun make me sad.. I always say.. why am I suffering.. bla bla bla.. I always suffer… bla bla bla… but… who kw the story inside?? Haiz.. only if got somebody kw everything.. inside me… and outside of me.. anyway.. I always alone… so… maybe it doesn’t matter after all.. haiz… feel much better now.. seem like I give a lot of problems to everybody.. how wish I wun born here… haiz…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!~! feel like shouting everything out.. everything just dun make any sense... if i just like this go on.. i really will gone insane in no time... i hate now de me.. is not me.. why can't everything be simple... why was like i living under ppl words again... i wan my own life.. ARGHHH~!~!~!~! HATE IT AR...


end up... i still stay in the nagetive point of view.. i tried so hard to think positive.. end up will still get defeated by negative... haiz.. since tat day i decided to step out of tat door.. i kw.. things wun be tat easy anymore..

Haiz………. Feel so down…. Why??? Only I kw why… but I can’t say…. The start of everything.. well.. somebody told me.. whenever u do something.. a new thing… the starting, no matter what u do.. is all WRONG.. well.. now I understand why… when u are new.. no matter what u do.. u will still headed to the wrong path of road.. just like me now.. why I suddenly feel that I am not responsible le?? I dun kw why…


Anyway.. think positive.. dun care le.. well.. Paris chocolate.. the 72% tat one.. very nice wor… hahaha… but… expensive le… 70cents per piece… haiz.. if buy from sch or other place.. the 72% cocoa de.. more cheaper… haha.. taste le.. I still feel Paris de chocolate.. very nice.. but… expensive sia… haiz… as usual.. I still can feel the sweetest inside… yummy.. maybe.. I already master the taste of dark chocolate.. if u can really taste the sweetness inside… u will kw… hahaha…


Well.. herman gonna start sch tml… but he dun wanna slp… lol… wonder wat will he happen tml… hahaha.. just now play audition with giff.. liew.. when he say last game.. and when finish tat game… I kanna dc.. liew.. so coincident.. haiz… or should I say so zhun ar…


Haiz.. nth much to do… only got a lot of problems.. tat only I can solve.. and I can do it.. nobody can help me.. coz is my stuff.. haiz.. stress ar… even after I determine to become a 18years old lady… but de.. too stressful liao.. sad ar.. bo bian la.. dun kw la.. haiz.. dun ask me why.. dun ask me how… everything is up to me to solve.. haiz…

Wa lao eh~!~! kanna bird shit.. what a suey day.. haiz… lian ke.. on the way home.. den I was at cpcc tat side ma.. liew.. den I suddenly feel hot.. den I take off my jacket.. LUCKY I TAKE OFF MY JACKET~!~! coz.. u all kw what.. just when I take off my jacket.. the bird shit just DROP~! Wa liew.. anyway.. is another happy thing tat is so lucky it never kanna my jacket lo.. phew..


Today.. I super duper blur.. dun kw what the hell is happening.. haiz.. tml.. in the late afternoon I will go to hospital.. den Wednesday my papa will discharge from hospital.. hmmmm… I will go hospital and take him home.. wahahaha.. I wonder how his scar look like.. will it be scary?? I dun kw le.. haiz… oh well.. he will sure recover very soon de.. wahahhaa…


Well.. just now there was magic trick.. MAN~!~! I dun kw how he do it le~!~! rubber band de somehow I can see it.. but the cards and the money de.. I DUN KW HOW~!~! the money is in my hand.. and I can feel the money.. but how it change it sia.. when it change de.. I dun kw le~!~!~! it can’t be it put back rite?? Haiz.. wonder what is tat trick.. liew… sian ar.. seem so toot and stupid today lo.. more blur den sotong.. haiz…


Hmmmm.. herbal tea called me while I am slp-ing today.. haha.. he called me 4 time wor.. but when I notice it, he already fall a sleep.. herbal tea is a very gd guy.. haha.. well.. he waited to call me when he reach home.. coz he outside ton ma.. he waited for around 2hours or so bah.. hmmmm.. just now on the phone he told me tat.. he go to the old change bla bla bla de.. dun kw is what la.. den he was saying that he wanna bring me go also.. liew.. I where will dare.. I so timid like a mouse lo.. haiz.. even my hse de hamster more brave den me lo.. aiyoyoyo… sad sia.. haiz..


Hmmmmmmmmm… meet up ice today.. hmmm.. nth must change to him… anyway.. gd to see old frens.. maybe abt 1years plus nearly 2 years never saw him le bah.. haha.. but I can cfm is less den 2 years.. the last time I saw him is at the chalet… simon chalet.. haha.. hmmmmmmmmmm… WAHAH.. nth nth nth.. I kw can le.. wahahhaa.. kw what I laugh?? I not gonna tell anyone.. lalala…


Alright.. I gonna read finish the book “Chicken Soup” liao.. and I will intend to buy another book of it.. the next one I wanted to buy is abt “love and friendship”.. let see what will it say abt love and friendship.. maybe I can write a story and send to them.. wonder will they publish it or not le.. WAHAHA.. ok.. time to go~ tata.. anything I will update wor.. (*^-^*)

its being a while since i last update my blog.. weee.. my result is out.. haha.. not to bad la.. but i still dun kw how to calculate.. wahaha... too bad i never get an AD.. but almost got it.. haiz.. nvm... dun have get AD for that module.. but end up get an A+ for it.. also can la.. wahaha...


hmmmmmm... my surrounding is getting so different.. and life make me really feel like an adult.. i got to make decision.. got to do planning.. got to work... life is not tat easy already.. stress also coming.. now i kw.. being a kids is so much better.. coz dun really need to worry abt anything.. and now i'm 18.. i have no time for playing.. i have lots of stuff have to do.. i got a dream today.. gosh.. i dream tat i got a lot of money.. oh man!~! is tat mean a lot.. and tat feeling is so relieve.. does tat mean tat in order for me to feel relieve firstly i have to earn lots of money... i got to set goal.. a long term goal.. tat can bring me happiness and can make me feel happy too... life is never easy den u all tot.. correct??


i am a different person now.. i got own goal.. and i gonna set a goal later on.. and in order to achieve tat.. i got to work hard.. both my study and my life.. 18years old.. it is a perfect age for me to strive hard... so tat i can retire early.. haha.. am i thinking a bit too far??? "BE POSITIVE" yeah.. i trying to think positive whenever i am down.. i trying to think positive when something hit me.. and if there is a decision that gonna pay up more den u think, i will go to someone tat can really give me advice.. the world is mine now.. and now.. i wun sit in tat door and make for tat somebody to pull me out.. i will just unlock the door and walk out my own.. the light is mine.. nobody can take it away from me.. coz i grow up now.. i can't be tat childish anymore.. being childish.. coz i dun wish to face those trouble.. no one wanna grow up.. but now.. i have no choice.. i got to grow up now or else i am just gone case.. from now onwards.. i cannot stay behind tat stupid door... LET ME BE THE ONE THAT MAKE TAT STEP~! the step that will change my life.. and when tat somebody found me.. i will kick his ass.. wahahahahah.. anyway... i can shout out loud saying my name is RUBY~! wahaha..


Confident is what i lack of.. coz i tend to think a lot.. but now.. i dun kw what will happen.. coz i got to take tat step... no more games girl.. u wan games.. can.. coz tat is ur leisure time... but now is time to be serious.. no more lazy... NO MORE~! u have to get back when is urs.. the whole earth is urs.. the earth never give up on u.. coz she still let u stay on it.. so... open up... is time...


ytd.. while i was on the way to take a bus.. i saw the bus is here.. but there's still a disatance to the bus stop.. den i told myself.. "how u kw u wun get to the bus if u dun try??" den i start to run... and i make it.. den it let me really understand "try and try.. u wun kw what will happen if u dun try".. if u dun try... how i kw i wun be in tat bus?? if i dun try, maybe i got to wait for another 10min for tat bus to come again.. TRY~! is what i need.. everything got to give it a try.. no matter the outcome is gd or bad.. u have to try..


as for mac.. most likely i will quit after getting the award... i got to find something tat really suit me.. haha.. nth wrong with mac.. coz is me.. i got strive harder for a better life.. i kw time is running out.. so now.. since i gonna take tat step out.. i will do it nicely.. no matter wat the outcome will be.. at least i TRY~!

bowell... today went to see my dad... haiz.... he still unconscious... the nurse said tat tml maybe he will wake... depend on his body condition... well.. in the hospital today.. only one of my uncle came to visit him.. tat all.. haiz... hope my dad will be super fine.. i kw he will.. before we went back home.. my mum told me to tell dad tat we going home.. well.. when i say.. somehow.. he got give some reaction... coz his mouth move a little.. well... den we went back home by taxi.. really very sick when in the taxi... just hate the smell and the way those driver drive their car... really making me wanna vomit... haiz... gastric making me feeling bad also loh... haiz.. sad....


anyway.. dad is pretty fine... tml will go there see him again.. this time i bring qiu ping along... tml we will go eat lunch together after tat den go hospital see my dad...


anyway... today.. a lot of ppl tot i go rebond my hair sia... coz is very straight wor.. holala.. and this time.. got colour.. but den.. not very bright.. hmm.. but i like the colour.. hope the colour wun drop... and the red will last.. coz anything do with red.. it will fade very fast when u wash... hmmm... my cousin yiwen just sms me.. asking abt how my father.. well.. was kind of worried tat no one really care aby my dad u kw.. but lucky la.. let see what will happen tml...


i bought a book from Kinokuniya today... in my whole life.. the thickest book full of words i ever bought wor.. "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff".. well.. reading some of it le.. feel tat the book is not bad after all.. is expensive.. but worth it after all... hahaha...


well.. i dun understand... how on earth got ppl really did fall in love with me.. man.. i really dun like abt relationship le... well.. still cannot find the one tat can make me heart beat fast wor... this guy.. he wanna treat me good.. in my whole life.. so many ppl wanna treat me good.. but i just can't let them do it... i always admire what the show everytime show.. all the love... but no one just can let me have tat feeling.. people saying tat LOVE is a special thing... nobody kw what will happen... anyway.. currently just hope to be single... coz.. untill i find the person... i dun wanna fall in love.. haha.. coz is not fair to another parties if i agree on a relationship where i cannot give what they wan... well.. i got to reject him.. he has a nice background.. but den.. i just have no feeling for him.. no matter how hard he try... no mean no... coz i just can't make myself to love him... i dun kw why... but he wun give up.. haiz... if he kw tat he is adding me stress by doing this.. wonder will he continue... i also dun kw i got what thing so good tat so many guys nowadays like me... i really dun understand.. i used to be fat.. big size.. ugly.. and now?? at least not tat fat.. size.. maybe a little smaller den last time.. ugly?? hmm.. maybe become pretty a bit le as what my fren told me... such changes gain so much different.. i dun understand!!! what so special abt me?? towards this guy.. i use all my bad attitude.. being ah lian a bit.. dun behave like a gal.. but he still likes me.. I DUN UNDERSTAND~!~!~!~! i dun like him.. he knew it.. but yet dun give up.. i really dun kw what to do...


maybe.. i just dun like guys acting tat way bah.. the way they treat me.. maybe tat is one of the reason why i wanna break up with shawn previously... i dun like lonely.. but i dun like being in a relationship either.. i dun kw why.. when i with my friend.. i feel so great.. i not lonely.. i feel free.. i feel tat i wun need to hide anything.. coz i can be myself.. where as when i with my online fren, etc, i wun be myself anymore.. i will act in a way tat can protect me and prevent things from happening again.. all the bullying etc.. i prefer having more fren.. friends is a special thing... a very special thing to me.. why?? i always put friends infront of everything.. First is my family.. Second is my friends.. even if i had a boyfriend.. i will put him in the Third place.. why?? people all ask me why.. well.. let me tell u all why... because friends is the one tat accompany me thru out all the up and down in my life.. accompany me thru out all the tears and happiness i have.. share my tot and everything... tat why friends is always so important to me.. i dun wan to be a person tat got boyfriend and forget all abt my friends.. i dun wan to coz i dun wish to be tat kind of person.. tat is me.. accept it or not.. but being friend... i will be more happy... haiz...


i just dun kw what to do... why do i feeling this way... i feeling so sad now.. so confuse.. i feel like crying.. dun kw.. why i tears.. what is happening to me.. why am i crying.. last time.. in secondary sch.. how wish i can have a boyfriend.. but now... i just dun feel like having one.. is not abt dun having one.. is like.. dun have the feeling... if this continue to go on.. i maybe having probia over relationship.. i dun kw what to do.. i am lost..


while talking to herman... my tears drop... i dun kw why... he trying to console me.. telling me what i can do.. haiz.. i feel i so funny... a few years back.. i keep on dying wan to have a boyfriend.. but now.. i trying to get rid of guys tat trying to get close to me... i just can't stop crying now... i dun kw what happen... i just can't stop... i dun kw.. I DUN KW~!~! i really dun kw.. i just cry and cry.. what wrong with me.. what is happening to me.. i hate this type of feeling.. why i end up crying in the middle of the night again.. come on ruby... what happen to u... dun cry... just dun cry... ok??? u are strong.. keep urself continue to be strong.. ur dad is still in hospital... dun cry... dun be weak.. ur dad still need ur encouragement.. if u fall down... what ur dad gonna do???


cheer up??? haiz... dun feel like to.. i cannot find myself back.. i lost myself.. i just can't find myself back... it seem like i being cage... i wan to be free... i dun wan to be cage... i wan to be free.. i feel so confuse.. I DUN KW WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT... tian ar.. jiu jiu wo ba... or should i find somebody to fake my boyfriend so tat tat person can stop woo me?? haiz.. den how on earth can i find this fake guy to help me.. i dun really like to have this kind of stuff.. haiz.. only if tat special person in my life will appear now... hahaha.. what a fake laugh.. i always wan him to come and save me.. save me out of this world.. the door is getting dusty everyday... if someday tat special person appear.. can he open tat door up?? or will he just walk away leaving me inside alone... i need someone to help me.. who will hear me?? i am calling for help.. but no one hear me after all.. i am dead... no one can pull me out.. am i in another depression state again??? i wun wish to go back.... everystep infront full of troubles and torns... each one is a task for me to complete.. and each level.. is getting higher higher.. what if i fail the task?? what will happen to me.. will i be like the player in the game?? once they fail the level, what will appear will be the tombstone... if i fail, will the tombstone appear?? i dun kw...






Try Again


If when you wake up in the morning,
And the hurting is so great,
You don't wan to get out of bed
And face a world of hate


If everything in life goes wrong
And nothing you do seems right,
You just try a little harder
And soon you'll see the light.


For every person who has put you down
And filled your life with pain,
You must strive to achieve greatness
And show them you can win.


For every disappointment,
For the time you are let down,
There will be a better moment
And your life will turn around.


Because everyone feel heartache
And everyone feels pain,
But only those who have true courage
Can get up and try again.




By: Teal Henderson
(Taken from the book "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff" page 14 & 15 on "On Self-Acceptance")

woah... i dye my hair again~ this is the 4th time i dye my hair.. and.. this is the only one i am so happy with... hehe.. i dye copper red wor..... hmmm.. my hair smell so good... weeee... and hoh... the shop aunty.. weee.. treat me some stuff... hehe... yummy... but spicy le... hmmm... i love my hair everytime i come out from the saloon... kw why?? coz my hair will be super straight... hehe... well... my hair really smell good le.. weeeeee.....


today we send my papa to the NUH... hmmmm... everything went fine la.. tml papa will be the first one doing the operation... haiz... hope everything go fine.. tml i will be going down to NUH again... hmmmm... wonder what will happen.. really pray hard for everything le...


hmmmmm... nvm... let say abt ytd... i got so much to say.. ytd is so suey u kw... well... once i out of my lift... i kanna knock down by a bicycle.. man.. hurt my leg... but nothing big la... well... and also... i did so much of stuff wrong when working... FIRST TIME forget give change... den continuous do wrong thing... haiz.. key in wrong stuff... haiz... and also.. hot water burn my hand when i doing hot drink... den keep so wrong thing le.. haiz.. plus somemore.. i forgot to bring my wallet to work... den kanna extend the working hours.. haiz... izit suey??? haiz...


hmmmmmm...... sian... it just seem like i got so much to say... but den.. nth else to write like tat le.. haiz.. anyway... dun kw la~~!!!~!~ haiz.... anything.. to be continue.. :x lol...

let me see.. can i consider this as one of the "break promise"?? oh well.. i have no comment on it.. since it is a break promise... i got nth much to say... those who kw me.. they should kw.. what i most hate is people tat cannot keep their promise and break their promise.. well.. if someone break their promise.. Hou Guo Zhi Fu... coz i just cannot tolerate ppl that break their promise.. wahahaha...

today is xiong birthday... give him a surprise... well.. me and yiyi went to northpoint and buy xiong present.. well.. frankly speaking.. we dun have enough time to buy a gd present for him.. coz we all busy working.. and the only free time is today.. coz i no work and yiyi work closing.. so we can buy present.. well... the choice of veriety is very little... end up.. we buy a bag, a cake and a birthday card for him.. well... yiyi not gd at acting.. haiz.. but.. XIONG GOT SHOCK WOR~!~! wahaha.. lucky i act fast.. and kw what to do.. phew... heng ar...



well.. we plan to go sakae sushi eat de.. but den.. due to time... and no table.. we cannot eat sushi.. haiz.. den we headed next door to Sakura... hmmmm... well.. i carry the cake.. but xiong didn't kw is a cake.. well.. i hide untill quite gd la.. hmmmm... well.. lucky the stuff inside kw how to act la.. coz is a surprise to xiong ma.. i faster pass the cake to the stuff and hope xiong didn't notice.. i think he got see.. but dun kw what the hell i am up to la.. well.. me and yiyi dun have the time to write the card.. so i try to get excuse... well.. i say.. i tummyache.. den i go toilet.. lol.. dne i write the card lo.. well.. yiyi write inside.. but den... he lousy la.. T.T let him see he writing things.. but we trying to get all sot if idea to let xiong dun think so much.. guess what i say?? "FORBIDDEN CITY" lol... this one... we got lots to say.. wahahhahaa.. let dun go too detail... hmmm... but... haiz.. so many Po Zhan sia.. oh well nvm... we order some foods.. oh man.. so much.. i cannot even finish 1/5 of the rice.. haiz.. no choice.. who ask me gastric getting so worst.. early in the morning.. my gastric was so pain till it woke me up from my sleep.. haiz.. i lost my medicine.. i cannot find.. oh well.. it had pain for the whole day already.. i wonder what will happen to me.. T.T



hmmm... when we finish the food.. i go tell the counter saying that they can serve the cake.. haha.. well... before the cake come.. the counter got bring this cake to other table.. seem like got other ppl also same birthday as xiong.. den xiong was saying "wha.. so cake le".. haha.. den me and yiyi say.. go join them la.. u also birthday ma.. we go join them.. can celebrate together.. something like this la we said.. well.. after a while.. the cake COME~! holala.. see xiong de expression.. he really touch and shock.. he dun kw we did buy a cake u kw.. hehe.. i took video.. this special moment.. of coz need to take.. i took some photo and one video.. haiz.. coz phone no memory.. so the video this year very very short... last year i also got take video.. hehe.. this year.. all 18th liao.. hmmm.. another line we crossed.. haha.. FRENS FOREVER~ holala...

ok.. as for today... as i mention on top.. gastric problem very bad... haiz.. hmmm.. after helping xiong celebrate his birthday... i was with yc all the while.. well.. nothing much we can do.. i bring her go cut hair.. well.. and i was thinking to dye my hair again.. haha.. $70 sia.. hmmm... i can think abt it bah... haiz.. hmmmmmm... den raining.. i dne bring her to pet shop.. the puppy is so cute!~~!!~!~ really cute lo.. haha.. love the puppy so much.. (*^-^*) hmmm.. den dun kw go where also la.. haiz.. go mac... play the Sudoku.. so hard le.. liew.. hmmm.. den we go starbucks... buy CCCF... den we went go chong pang and see shoes.. after tat go mac play Sudoku again.. den go home lo.. i accompany her wait for bus... hmmm.. den also wanna kill tat simon.. wahhaha.. why le?? only me and yc kw.. lol.. lalala... haiz.. gastric too pain liao la.. dun write le.. next time den say.. haha.. tata~

hmmmm... stupid simon.... last minute say got things on... den make everything crash... liew.. den boss scold me sia.. say wanna blacklist me.. sad sia.. haiz.. let me see.. super tired... not enough slp.. coz keep waiting boss de sms.. end up.. he never reply.. liew.. make me cannot slp.. haiz.. end up.. work till so tired...


hmmmm.... whole day so tired.... hmmmm... sian ar... dun kw what to do sia... sian sia.. got a lot to write de... but now end up nth to write.. haiz.. sian... what should i write.... haiz... dun kw la...


liew.. my blog getting shorter and shorter... lol... where is my long story~!!~!~!~!~ lol~!!~~!

the weather is freaking hot now.. so hot and warm... haiz... oh well.. let me see.. have a nightmare.... abt my hamster.. somehow.. in my dream.. it appear that i have 2 hamster.. and was like.. my hamster is monster.. am i am order to give them up and let the dun kw who kill it.. coz it is a monster.. i can feel the hamster is very scary.. very strong.. and somehow i scare tat it bite me.. so i use all way to prevent it from biting me.. arghhh.. scary le..


haiz.. stupid herman.. he ar.. haiz.. when explain one thing.. untill nice nice.. den will add one more line.. and the line will pull the whole person heart down... very stupid le.. liew.. and everytime.. the line will end up.. making ppl more angry.. haiz.. da ben dan..


liew.. simon tag my blog wor.. hmmm.. 100% get it from yc blog.. hahaha.. coz she got link me ma... liew... also dun kw why he so hyper.. when i just wake up.. i go see.. woah.. sian 1/2.. so hyper... haiz..


man.. later still got work... sian... it get boring everyday... MAN~!!~!~SO HOT AND WARM... what the hell... i think i go take a bath... before i go work.. to keep myself cool down.. haiz.. SO MANY FIRE IN ME~!~!!~~!


early in the morning... brother... give me the stupid newspaper.. ask me to spot the diff.. sian.. and i cannot find sia.. liew.. $10 for finding tat le.. haiz... but cannot find.. haiz.. nvm.. get ready for work bah.. T.T

weee..... like my background music?? i like it le.. so nice.. wahahahaha.. today went work.. hmmm.. quite tiring... hahaha.. well.. was talking to herman while i walking home... haha.. herman is a cute person.. haha...


gosh... the fish so big.. well.. i was watchin tv now.. oh man~!~! the fish.. so big... and so powerful till it break the chair.. and.. i guess the fish is abt 1.2m long bah.. wa liew.. see untill i shock lo... really wanna go WOW~!


wahahaha... i thinking of changing my hair colour... holala.. what should i change to?? hmmmmm... is a very gd question wor~ wahahaha....


sian ar.. nowadays... got nothing to write in my blog sia.. maybe too lazy le.. hahaha.. tml still got work... hmmmmm.... jiayou bah...

hmmm... woke up by my father this morning.. haiz.. very tired le.. coz chat on phone till morning... 4 plus... well.. after ate some breakfast in the morning... i went back to the room trying to get some more rest.. but.. haiz.. cannot rest.. den i on my lappy.. have some song played.. keep myself relax...


went go kbox and sing.. got xiong.. stanley.. elvis and xue leong.. haha.. sing till siao sia.. haha..
we change room sia.. from room 11 to room 16.. den to room 17.. coz the air con sucks!~!~ haha.. well.. at least we did enjoy ourself.. hmm.. we take bus home..


at mac.. something big happen sia.. ppl fighting inside.. man.. so scary.. i end up hiding behind counter.. coz very scary... hope nothing happen now.. haiz..


Steve Irwin (the Crocodile Hunter that you see all the time on TV) died today on the 4th of September, on the Batt Reef, pierced by a stingray barb throught his heart near Cairns. haiz.. so sad le.. hope he R.I.P.. at least when he die.. no pain.. and also die doing what he like to do.. hope he rest well.. T.T

oh man.. ytd midnight go watch movie... huiling ask me go... guess what we watch.. "ghost game" wa liew.. so scary.. haiz... i have nightmare le.. haiz.. well.. herman called me ytd.. to help me cool down a bit.. haha.. coz quite scare u kw..


hmmmm... just came back home.. so tired.. work work work.. now.. me work 7hours.. also cannot make it liao.. really tired le.. maybe old liao bah.. haiz... sad case..


liew.. dun kw write what sia.. but meow meow say he never get in.. haiz.. sad le... he sing so well.. weird lo.. haiz.. stupid le.. but nvm~! still will support!~


haiz.. dun kw write what liao.. brain now not working.. haha..

hmmmm.. after having a yummy "dun bluff prawn" feel so great.. haha.. haiz.. tml work 7hours.. 2pm to 9pm... sad sad... i dun wan... T.T so tired.. haha.. but no choice... have to do it.. 2pm to 9pm... haiz... jiayou bah ruby~!


sian.. today.. not enough slp... coz ytd play kongkong till morning 4lus... haha.. den kanna wake up by parent to eat.. haiz... hmmmm.. herman.. ya... haiz.. coz him to lose his asiasoft a/c... sob sob... sorry... if i never aks u help me check thing... den wun happen le.. dui bu qi ma.. haha.. but he never angry... but.. keep on trying to make me happy.. he ar.. a special guy indeed.. haha..


so tired... dun kw what to write le.. nothing much happen today le.. haiz... hope tml will be another nice day.. so should i cycle to work or what?? hmmm...

meow~! haha.. the background music.. is meow meow send me de.. well.. still trying to kw what the lyric is saying.. haha.. but i know quite some of it already... meow meow is steven.. haha.. Mr Steven Yeo... my ou xiang~! haha.. he should kw what i mean.. but promise him cannot tell anyone.. holala.. he send me a video ytd... omg~!~! really.. wahaha.. dun understand a single word at all... wahaha.. translate to me le.. T.T anyway~!~! JIAYOU~!~! the tiny thingy... u sure can make it.. dun forget what u promie me.. i can dun be first.. but i wan 2nd~!~! hahaha...


hmmm.. what a blur me.. i left my watch at store... ytd work till forget to bring back... sob sob... haiz.. coz i dun wear watch de.. tat why... got wear never wear make no diff... and tat the reason why i forget to bring back home.. ytd.. wasn't a good day... after all... yiyi should be totally mad at me... T.T what a failure me.. haiz.. when cycle home.. dun really feel like heading home.. but no choice.. i head to cheers.. to buy "nite"... haha.. but it taste so bitter when it is not cold.. haiz.. nvm.. but.. i totally no reaction ytd... does that mean i can hold more?? or izzit just... normal?? haiz.. should be normal bah.. is a good news anyway.. but cannot make it a habit.. haha.. slowly train... not more den 2 per week wor... but... is already 3 till ytd.. haha..


meow meow meow... thx for tagging!~ hehe.. dun kw u will read a not sia.. still remember last time at chalet... the picture of the banana man~! haha.. liew.. u all take photo with him.. but i never sia.. haha.. ppl shy.. no choice.. wahahahaha... i still can remember.. u wore a green jacket.. and... show me some little card trick.. and tell me how to do it.. haha.. but i never go train.. so.. do... sure.. no face.. haha.. anyway... really hope u can get to TOP~ 1st~! wahaha.. dun say siao or what wor.. like what u say.. if u have a will.. u have a way.. never give up~! chiong chiong chiong~! haha.. dun worry de la.. i be ur lala dui... help u cheer.. haha..


oh man.. herman~!~! ni zhe ge zhu tou~!~! dun keep like tat la.. T.T liew... haiz...