oh... life cannot be easy for me le... so busy... this week... well.. got to study for next week common test liao... i still wondering can i reach what teacher set for me... 100marks for my common test?? haiz.. well.. i can do it.. i know i can.. but will i get careless mistake?? T.T hope not... hope i can get my very first full marks for my common test.. and best of all.. get a AD for it..

man.. my best subject.. now.. become so weak.. now i know.. strong at E math.. dun mean u can survive in poly.. life is not as easy as u all think.. is totally different from what i have in the secondary school... and i lack of time... time is getting lesser and lesser for me... more and more stuff for me to complete... which mean i have less time to complete one single work... arghhhh... well... even my classmate dun believe i didn't do my homework.. like what dora was saying... "First time le... see u never do homework".. aiyoyoyo.... what happen to me??

well.. thx a lot of eng tat and sok mui.. helping me.. well.. sok mui done the job.. while eng tat accompany us.. hehe... without sok mui to help me with my project i maybe ton till this morning den finish.. but den... i dun have enough slp also.. and my life now is.. lesser and lesser slp.. more and more work.. haiz.. how long can i endure?? who knows..

i feel i grow up everday... everyday.. so much thing happened... and everything tat happened coz me huge... and i still trying to get the hang of it...

now i in the bus... on the way to school.. wrote this post in the wordpad.. so tat i can just post it into my blog.. haha.. tat what i do when i have my lappy with me... and nothing to do in the bus.. of coz.. ust have a seat la.. haha.. the sun rise.. is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!! i always wanted to see this... so nice.. well.. getting this early.. is not bad after all.. haha...

hmmmmm...3 more days... is evl birthday... wonder what can i get for him... thx goodness his birthdya is on a sat this year.. or else... die.. i sure die untill super nice... in my condition now.. i only can use die to discribe.. haiz.. feel kind of hungry now le.. didn;t bring my jacket.. gonna cold till siao for sure..

ytd,,,, i was playing a game with time... so.... tat one... my lappy got problem... the batt cannot be recharge... and i try and try.. still cannot.. den went to the jurong east international business park.. liew.. den they check can!!! waste so much of time.... haiz...

hmmmm... in school so boring... saw tat lazy person early in the moring.. affect my mood.. strupid... haiz.... well.. saw her personal msg ytd.. dun kw izzit say me.. but.. i like to block those i dun like le.. i like to block whoever i want to block le.. ni nai wo he.. bleah...

hmmmmmm.... so much stuff to do... CHIONG AR!!!!!!!!

ok... wrote this post again in the bus... hohoho... i put the star background on my lappy.. so nice.. and i still can bling le... really give me the star feeling.. feeling so free from stress and everything.. feeling so nice... well... now i kw... the sky really can cure everything inside me.. if i got a boyfriend.. i hope he will bring me to a sky full of star... and see all the beautiful star.. shining brightly in the sky... haiz.. but in singapore.. everyplace is so bright.. wanna find a dark place to see star... almost... impossible...

oh man... was sneezing a few time today.... wonder izzit got ppl miss me?? hehe... oh man!!!!!!!!! stupid!!!!!!!!! i did charge my lappy... why the batt now so flat... or i never on the switch just now?? sian.. low batt.. have to finish this post as fast as possible liao...

today.. do 2 project... materials and cats.. oh man... really.. hate material group.. well.. tat gal dare to use cap lock and reply the sms.. and kw what i reply?? "stop showing tat stupid attitude to me".. hohoho.. den he find so much of excuse.. den today?? dun even dare to say anything.. well.. as a leader.. have to do what i have to.. but den.. she didn't even do much... oh well.. we redo all the idea.. but.. kept 1 or 2 idea la... and now we still need 2 more idea.. and i throw it to her.. now.. after i finish the decision matrix... everything i will throw to them to do... coz.. a lot to do lo.. hahahaha... as for cats.. so funny... but den i keep eating.. die die.. i fat liao.. gonna go gym and train up myself during the holidays... hohoho... i make sure i lose my weight..

hmmmm... gonna buy my contact lenses... as fast as possible... lucky i still got cash in my hand.. haha.. but.. haiz.. so much of stuff to chiong.. so much of homework.. and test coming up.. sian...

well.. me and ginger was the last to left the class... hmmm... was asking teacher abt some stuff ma.. den... kw what he said?? "u all ar.. better aim a A+ for ur mechanical engineering.." haha.. den i am thinking.. A+.. can la.. can get... but.. he add on.. "ruby ar.. u aim a AD back..." WA LAO!!!!! den i was thinking... ok lo.. AD.. maybe can.. but.. he said one more thing.. "last year only 1 person get AD.. if u wanna get AD.. have to score 100marks for ur common test.. and 100marks for ur exam"... WA LAO EH!!!!!! really die die die.. how to get AD like tat... is not easy... for class test.. 100%.. easy la... i can do it.. but common test.. a bit scare liao lo.. common test.. i do the past common test.. is very easy... so... 100%.. maybe i can get.. but not 100% confident la.. but.. exam.. i dun kw le..

arghhh.. feel like car sick now.. feel so er xin... feel like vomiting.. arghhhh.... hope faster reach home... oh yeah... reach SBW road liao... wahahhaha... can go home liao... yeah!!!!!!!!!!

JIAYOU WOR RUBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghhhhhh... finally reach home liao....... feel so tired.. so much stuff to do.. die liao lo...... haiz...

woke up at 9am in the morning.. well.. surprised tat i didn't feel tired at all.. haiz... feel so great tat dun need to do the stupid project today.. as well as seeing people i dun wish to see..

hmmmm... robin was online today... and i was thinking to ask him out to study.. i at home.. really cannot do my stuff.. really can't study... well.. ytd i do whole day.. just finish 3 to 4 question.. in school... 3 to 4 question... can just took me 30min to finish lo.. and i took the whole day... and now??? still got mountain... haiz...

oh well.. back to what i wanna say... robin..... haiz... morning.. he was so funny.. was still playing around with him.. and well.. cheat me... tat what he always do... well.. he said tat nite time den go study... den k lo.. nite time den do lo... at least at outside.. everything work out faster when i am at home.. i just can't concentrate at home.. haiz... den i wait lo... waited for one full day.. and yet?? when the nite fall.. his msg come.. and say he tired and ask me to study alone.. oh man!! i am mad!!! i totally mad!!! he put me aeroplane again.. and what i know next was... dead... homework sure cannot finish... and now??? really dead.. cannot finish...

but den... i so mad... wait for him the whole day.. he knew it lo.. den... what he said was tat he tired... dun wan study.. and... stupid!!! he say me stupid.. haiz... ya rite.. stupid.. stupid for waiting for so long... stupid for being so dumb.... and.. he didn't even feel bad abt it.. he really inhuman... haiz... should i show a black face to him tml?? or what?? who know... haiz..

xiong also become very pervert today... send me a gal picture.. haiz.. in the end.. den i remembered tat one wei jie ex-stead photo... aiyo... making me so..... haiz.. dun kw what also... oh well... he went working at closing at PS today... wondering how he is doing now.. haiz... but den.. today... when talk to him... i feel... the connection lost... as in... we are not tat close as b4 already... feel tat there is something between us... feel so mo sheng... haiz... i dun wan like this... i dun wan to feel like this... i wan the old ruby and xiong back... in my memory de ruby and xiong.. haiz... maybe.. now this period of time.. is very hard bah... xiong is trying his best to get rid of what he wanted to get rid now.. and i support him all the way.. GST!!! support!!! i will give him 100% support rather den 5% support... but den... i dun kw what to do to make him feel better.. is not a easy thing to do le.. really hope i can do something to help... but.. what can i do??? haiz... really want the xioong back... really want!!!! if i got 3 wishes.. i sure wan the xiong to be back.. no matter what is cost... haiz...

tml got 5 hours break... den have to do the stupid project.. haiz.. sian.. dun really wanted to see them.. but no choice.. have to face it.. go lo..

hmmmm.. today sleep till i auto wake up... well.. i tot i will wake up at 4plus.. but den!!! is 11plus in the morning.. so surprised... hmmmm... nothing much to do also... but keep on doing my homework.. but den... early in the morning.. something make me damn angry lo.. where got this kind of group de... stupid project lo.. being a leader in the group.. have to be a nanny?? wa lao eh... den dun choose me as a leader la... wa kao..

tell them what to meet etc.. end up?? being throw temper by ppl like her.. so lazy... my attitude towards her change after i heard what he said tat time in class.. "do something tat can let me this kind of lazy ppl do de"... i hate ppl not endu in their work tat they should be doing lo.. if this is the case.. i rather i do everything on my own.. and get the grade on my own... told teacher b4.. i asked if i could do the project alone... he agreed.. but den.. he sure said.. when u go out to work.. u will meet all kind of ppl.. bad ppl.. good ppl.. arghh... stupid... is true also... nvm... i still cannot make myself to work with ppl tat is not endu.. and i am sure tat she is the first one tat bad word will come out of my mouth whenever i step into poly.. i can't make myself to work with those kind of ppl... arghhh...

and know what?? she even throw the stupid fuking temper towards me today.. hell.. being a leader?? i arrange all the time to meet.. and place to meet.. and?? dun wan this dun wan tat.. if is so.. u go and be the leader la.. i go tell teacher abt it.. hate doing all the stuff.. if u dun like all the stuff.. u be the leader.. den u plan all.. den i just do whatever i suppose to do for the project.. den will just say bye bye.. and i dun wanna be like a nanny tat do everything for u guys.. and end up being throw temper by u people..

做一个人好难。在一种像我现在这样的环境生存更难。为什么我的人生会过得这么辛苦。

oh well.. kanna cheat by robin again... he so bad.. keep bully me.. he wanna eat my hamster up!!! he wan to use it to cook curry!! rojak!! satay!! arghhh... he wan me to bring it on monday.. siao le!!! must protect my hamster.. or else.. he will eat it.. he wun care much... unless he get what he wanted!! and tat is my hamster!!! lol.. he was playing all the while la.. izzit?? or really he wan to eat it?? haiz.. he is playing... ya.. is playing.. he wun do tat kind of thing de.. haha..

haiz.. whole day doing my work.. and i dun seem to be finishing.. tat why i dun like to do work at home.. coz i wun have the urge to finish de... haiz.. seem like tml i have to really finish all liao.. arbo den.. monday i am dead meat..

aiyo!!! channel 5 now playing sadako!! aiyo.. so scary... so scare... haiz.. dun dare to watch liao.. liew.. go slp bah... tml have to do the stupid project.. haiz...

GST.. is what everybody must have.. Give.. Support.. Thankful..

arghhhhhhhh... my body and neck gonna crack... hmmmmm... let me recap what happened today bah... the bus is so packed!!!!! haha.. den same bus with robin again.. haiz... bully lo... he keep bully me!!!!! sob sob... haha.. stupid... he keep copy my line.. haha.. haiz...

today.. the 3 hours break.. can kill me lo... so long.. so tired.. can fall asleep lo... haiz... well.. some of us go and watch movie... school can watch movie de ma.. haha.. well.. we watch "October Sky".. very nice... hehe.. all abt rocket and stuff.. but.. the main meaning... very motivated lo... if u all got the chance... must watch... haha... is a true story.. tat why can learn a lot of stuff.. and.. i learn liao.. hohoho...

hmmmmm... got mechanic engineering test.. hohoho... 4o min test.. i finish it in abt 5min plus... wahahahaha..... teacher so shock see me so fast finish... wahaha.. and guess what!!! i score full marks for my test... hohoho... i am such a clever girl... hohoho...

haiz... the stupid bus... the bus 171.. dman slow lo... wa lao eh... i waited for over 35min... wtf they doing!! why so slow de... let my dad wait till so long.. and miss the super big feast... haiz.. end up... eat something tat wanan make me throw out now.. feel so oily.. arghhh... *puke*

oh man... finally finish doing my blog liao... so hard to combine 2 skins lo... i dun kw abt html.. tat why very hard.. but.. i still find my way out... hohoho.. am i a genius or what?? lol...

oh man.. so tiring... feel like sleeping... after da chan jin i must sleep!!!!!!!!! canot tahan liao!!!!!!!!

wow... got so much to write today..... today is yiyi birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIYI!!!!!! muack muack.. lol... haiz... i dun kw yiyi will like the present a not le.. haiz... and next is evl birthday.. die die.. dun kw buy what lo... haiz..... what can i do le?? a present tat make evl wun forget.. hehe... oh well.. slowly think bah......

hmmm... today... robin same bus with me wor.. haiz.... i saw him b4 he come inside the bus.. liew.. and u kw what?? he give me a punch on my arm!! liew... pain le!!!!!! haiz... den he sit down on the chair.. liew.. i standing lo... haiz.. after tat.. got 2 seat empty... and is the seat behind him.. haha.. den i go sit lo.. den he move to the back and sit with me... hahaha... we never talk much also.. but den... i was attracted by something outside the bus window.. the cloud... so nice~!~! but failed to take the photo of it.. coz too far.. but very very nice le...

hmmm.. reach school so early today... 7.40am.. haha.. den robin he so good.. he send me to the sport hall.. lol... not long ago.. he still say me so slow let him wait so long.. haha.. liew.. today sport.. play till siao sia.. injured again... arghhh... same team de... he come and bang me... den hit my head and my arm... and also... the place tat got blueblack.. i hurt again... wa kao... y keep injured de.. liew.. and remembered?? i said tat time i almost hit tat guy head.. haha.. he my opponent again.. lol.. den ji tao.. they say.. sure snatch my ball.. liew....... they so bad... haha.. but den.. got fun la.. but the game so short.. and so many people.. place so small... haiz...

hmmmm... meet up xiong after my school.. haha.. meet him at northpoint.. well.. i should say at time zone.. lol... den we go eat eat lo..l so hungry man.. den walk northpoint.. etc.. after tat gone to xiong hse.. get umbrella.. rain too big le.. and my shoe.. is so wet till.. haiz... inside can trap water.. liew... my whole body wet seh... i should say 1/2 body wet.. haha.. hmmmm... xiong go eat sushi with yiyi liao!!!!!! wa lao.. i also wan go!~!~! T.T not fair... arghhhhhhhhh... sian.. got work at 5pm lo.. sian ar... coz of work.. cannot go sushi... sob sob..

haiz..... rain haven stop... and gonna work soon liao... haiz.. work till 9pm... sob sob... wonder can see yiyi ma.. his birthday... must see him!!!

Phew.. finally.. finish work liao… so tired man… T.T haha.. yiyi just now.. so… touch.. haha.. can see can see.. got a little bit of tears light in his eyes.. haha...

arghhhhhhhhh... so tired.... tml tyco robin wait for me finish sch bah!!!!!!!! hahaha... haiz.. hope he will wait for me.. T.T

yiyi....... happy birthday to u!!! muack muack............................

wow... not bad not bad.. so early i in school liao... 10min b4 lesson start.. and now.. i use this time to write my blog lo.. aw... not enough sleep le... so tired.. haiz...

well.. ytd was such a long day... wahahha... go steamboat!!!!!!!!!! hohoho~!~!~! got... yiyi... xiong... ping ping... june... and xiao ming.. of coz.. got me la.. hahaha.. ytd ate so much of stuff... will die le... haiz.. hmmmmmmm... was having great fun ytd... and best of all.. i can play my favourite game... "pop music".. AW!! i long time never touch that game liao lo.. yishun dun have this game liao.. haiz.. only far far place have... hmmmmm... tat why i keep playing tat game.. hohoho~ and also... me and xiao ming challange tat game... hmmmm... i 4got what the game called.. but the game is press those colour buttom... red green and blue.. den play the game lo.. wahaha!! i won!!!!!!! xiao ming lose first.. hohoho... but den.. play till my hand so pain... red red sia.. den we play another version de.. i also won.. well.. this one kind of unfair.. coz.. his red buttom spoil... wahahahhaa...

hmmmm... so sleepy man... haiz.. nvm... ytd... after the steamboat and game session.. i think.. mood kind of change already.. coz saw something tat shouldn't be seen... haiz.. finally... i dun need to hide the stuff anymore... yiyi know it liao.. well.. starting i tot when yiyi know... is will be a nightmare.. but den.. yiyi de reaction was so low... lol... i tot the world will end... haiz... but is a good thing la... at least.. i wun see 2 buddy fighting.. haiz.... the feeling of hiding all these stuff is making me crazy... well.. now explain all why i was in a totally not me state tat time liao... and i even lie to yiyi abt it.. coz.. tat time.. i tot tat yiyi will be very very angry.. den go fight with xiong... haiz... well.. what i told yiyi was tat.. school making me stress etc.. but the main reason.. of why i become so sad and down mood was all the thing happening.. and now.. everything is clear liao..

xiong told me to leave him alone and let him think thru... but den... will he really know what he thinking?? and doing?? haiz... at least.. now.. dun need to hide my feeling anymore.. is not easy to keep everything inside my heart.. coz me so much of "unhappiness".. haiz... such a long day ahead... sad... today lesson.. really making me very tired... haiz... so sleepy.. can i sleep??? T.T and i got homework haven do yet.. and gonna pass up within this 2 hours.. haiz...

hey hey.. i now at cal2 wor.. in my school la.. ahaha.. ytd i 9plus slp liao wor.. very early.. den sleep all the way till today morning.. den come to school.. wahahahhaa...

so nice sleeping.. the wheather is perfectly cold for me.. tat why i hide in my blanket all the while.. aw.... and now?? or should i say in a while time.. i gonna be at north pole.. tat blueprint class lo.. is so cold.. and i 4got to bring my jacket.. die die die... den hoh!! tat stupid robin.. haiz.. ask him lend me his jacket.. till now haven reply.... dun kw he coming to school or not le... aiya.. dun kw le.. suan le.. dun care him..

ytd.. tot he so good wait for me after school.. end up keep say me.. haiz.. what a big bully le him.. haiz... well.. got him to carry my lap top all the way.. hahaha... haiz...

aiyo.. my leg.. blueblack.. dun seem to recover le.. and is getting worst le.. haiz... how... already so many days liao le.. or izzit really my health getting down on slope?? haiz.. i getting worried abt my health liao... i think... the 2 weeks holiday.. i think i will go hospital and do a full body check liao lo.. i keep cannot put this thing down.. keep in my heart running...

yawn... got so much homework to rush... haiz... 2 exam test paper.. tutorial homework.. cats project... material project.. haiz.. and?? a lot more.. everything must rush.. i going crazy liao la.. haiz..

oh man!!!!!!!!! i saw zhili blog!! and tat the skin i always wanted... those sky feeling..... star.... etc... oh man!!!!!!!!!! i like it so much.. haiz.. i think he also wun help me design one nice de skin bah.. he so bad de.. lol.....

yiyi birthday is in 2 days time... wonder what to buy for him le.. haiz... but now.. i think i need to buy time for my own... how to spare time out?? haiz.......... HELP!!!!!!!!!! i hope there is more time for me... so tat i can finish all my work.. and my leisure time together.. like tat will be best...

gonna rush somemore homework liao... like tat... less more can be done the next day... T.T so tired...

ARGHHHHHHHHH!! CHIONG AR!!!

btw... the book i bought.. so far.. i like it a lot.. coz.. quite a number of them suit me.. and is what make me not a happy person.. so.. hope i can finish the book.... den...... maybe after tat.. i will be more happy den now........

WHY NOWADAYS PPL ALWAYS DUN WANNA REPLY MSG DE!! IF IT IS SO... TELL ME... DEN I WUN MSG ANYMORE!!! WASTE TIME AND MONEY!!!

wa lao eh... today so suey.. woke up first thing in the morning... i bang on the stupid door!!! haiz.. so painful~ and hoh!!! really wanna beat up robin!!! becoz he hoh!!! make me not enough sleep!!!! hahaha... he hoh!!! keep on bully me lo!!! say tat.. play me very fun.. very shiok... arghhhh... he so bad!!!! aiyo!!! he keep on disturb me sia!! haiz.. so bad.. stupid robin!!!! make me laugh like hell man.. and keep scolding me siao ever since i know him... haiz...

today.. went do FQM project at causeway point... haiz.. lucky finish liao.. but de.. tml got presentation... aiyo... so scary... but no big deal... sure very easy one la.. wahahahha... hmmm... after tat we went take neoprint.. haha... and also!! i buy ice cream to eat~ so nice to eat... haiz.. i ask robin now go buy he dun wan.. he so bad.. haiz.. if i know like this.. just now shouldn't buy for him liao.. haiz.. he so bad!!!

after tat.. i went to CPCC mac... and do my own work lo.. and tat robin took so long to come down.. lol!~!~! he got so many thing to do... 3 test tml.. wahahha... haiz.. why so weekend so fast over?? i haven have sleep yet le!! haiz.. die liao lo.. now still at mac.. but is at YS de mac.. the whole mac.. left me and robin nia.. so poor thing.. i wan eat ice cream~ haiz...

let me see.. i wonder.. tml what time finish school.. i first or robin first.. hahaha.. let see bah.. hope robin de test will pass with flying colours... arghhh!!! he said i say this make no different!! wa lao eh!! why got this human exist!!! haiz.. tat why i say this person very different.. wahahahahha... he my new doggy also le.. lol...

he love to play my handphone... keep on playing non-stop... aiyo!! i want to laugh till die liao.. he keep making me laugh like siao... haiz... and hoh!! he very bad le!! i remembered his birthday.. but he dun remembered mine.. haiz.. he really so bad... and still say... his birthday tat time i never wish him... good lo... i still remembered tat time i at bus stop wish him lo... if i not wrong.. i was on the way to swimming complex.. he hoh!!! is not a human... he hoh!!! dun look like human!!! aiyo!!! will faint...

robin is my sunshine.. liew... he keep making sleep.. hahaha... yawn.... let me see see.. will we board the same bus tml??? hmmmmm... he bully me again.. dun wan give back my phone.. haiz...

liew.. on the way home.. i saw a big spider.. so scary.. scare the hell out of me.. haiz...

arghhh... today i tot i can slp till i siao.. but den.. have to run toilet.. haiz.. arbo den i wun wake up.. hmmm... now i so tired le.. so many thing happen today seh.. my neck is cracking... my head is blowing.. haiz...

today... suddenly got the feeling of going for a swim.. so i call yang ching along lo... den on the way to the pool, i msg robin.. lol... haha.. coz he sick ma.. tat why never wait for me ytd.. haiz... well.. also get this chance to ask if he is ok.. but den.. end up he said.. "reply so late" hahaha.. well.. learn from him de lo.. he also everytime reply so late.. so this time.. also reply him late lo... haha.. well.. yang ching so late.. den i wait for her lo.. haiz... she so late... she stay next to the pool nia le.. but den.. still so slow... hahaha... den.. i continue msg robin lo.. den he never reply for a few minute.. den i msg him saying "dun play me le!! dun wait till tml den reply" hahaha.. he end up reply me saying tat "tml den tell u.. haha"... liew.. he hoh!! really can kill me instanly.. haha.. well.. i asked him come swmming also... haha... i got swim with him de ma.. so ask him come also ma.. haha.. den he say a lot of ppl le.. haiz.. he was right.. really a lot of people lo.. and he still a little bit sick.. lol... den he say he lazy.. dun wanna swim.. but den.. i send him one last msg b4 i go to swim swim... "dun lazy la.. T.T u put my aeroplane ytd.. today come la.. haiz.. i wait for u ar.. i go down water liao.. tata.." haha... well.. me and yang ching in the water lo.. aw.. so long never swim.. feel so great...

hmmm... when at there... swim swim for not long... even without my glasses.. i saw him!! robin did come seh!!! i was so shock.. so surprised tat he come... well.. his hair is so messy and dry.. haha.. but after he in the water.. look better.. but den.. hair still so long.. and he said tat he cut 1 week ago already... aiyoyoyo!!! i dun believe it man!!! last time de robin... hair look more nicer.. tat what i think la.. haha... well.. first time we chat so much seh!!! last time.. i only can remember tat when play basketball.. he will always pass the ball to me.. tat all.. we hardly talk.. and now?? we talk so much... got so many thing to talk... hehe.. well.. last time i got a crash on him.. and now?? we got so much to say... haha... well.. is a good time to know him better also.. hehe..

well, we went northpoint after tat.. hehe.. so good tat robin also come.. haha.. well.. the foodcourt is so packed... den we went to mac and eat lo.. hehe.. robin sit beside me.. and yang ching in front of me.. haha.. well.. robin dun kw why.. like my phone so much.. well.. a lot of ppl like the metal le.. even him.. he wore it on his neck.. haha.. and.. he hoh.. so cute man.. say he is the dog.. and.. he said.. dog more strong den the owner.. lol... i pull him.. end up he pull me seh.. lol... den he also sound like a dog.. WOOF WOOF!! so cute~!~! haha.. well.. when we were eating.. i got msg and call also ma... from classmate, evl and my father.. lol.. and my phone was hanging on his neck.. liew.. den i have to msg and listen the call with my head close to him.. hehe.. and hoh!! what make me wanna kill him is!!! when my father called!! oh dear... my father dun like me hang out with guys de.. coz he sure tot he is my boyfriend etc.. tat why i call him to keep quiet before i answer the call.. aiyo~!~! den he keep disturb sia!! saying "ur daughter is with me.." etc.. arghhh.. lucky my father didn't heard.. arbo.. haiz.. he sure nag me like siao... haha.. well.. sms also.. well.. when i wanna take my phone.. but den.. erm.. is kind of.. not very.. the right place u know.. den hoh.. my hand went half way.. den i stop.. aiyo!! so tat one lo.. if i go take my phone.. later he shout i molest him!! haiz.. well.. i never take my phone la.. but den... he know tat i wanna take my phone.. OH MAN!! den he tat reaction.. ARGHHH!! make me wanan laugh till siao... oh man... so funny lo.. was like.. "ahhh.. dun anyhow touch me... dun molest me".. ARGHHHH!!! i gone crazy liao.. omg!~!~ robin did tat seh!!! he even put his bag higher... ARGHH!!! so funny man!! i really can laugh till siao.. so good with robin.. coz when see him.. i sure smile... oh man.. he the sunshine i wan seh... wahahahaha... well.. after eating mac.. we went to starbuck..

CCCF!!! CHOCOLATE CREAM CHIP FRAPPUCCINO!!! my favourite.. wahahaha... well.. robin told me.. his first time step in~ WAHAHAH!! his first time!! give me!! lol.. i bring him to starbuck... lol!!! den.. i pull him again.. my doggy~ robin~ lol!!~!!~!! so funny... well.. den isabel called.. this time.. while walking.. i have to listen to the phone call.. aiyo.. my head must really very near robin liao lo... hahaha... is tat a good thing or a bad thing le?? lol.. isabel on the other line.. was saying robin very noisy.. hahaha... well.. becoz what i answer to isabel.. robin reply.. lol!!! he so disturb... lol... aiyo... have to walk and talk so close to him seh.. also a bit uneasy...

haiz... went we went to popular.. liew.. also very suay... hit the edge of the table.. now got one small scar.. haiz... well.. when i abt to fall.. lucky robin in front of me.. lucky i hold his hand.. hahha... but den!! know what he said?? he say... "ur hand so cold!!" LOL!!! i what he will say seh.. like.. how are u?? are u ok?? liew.. end up he say tat my hand is cold.. tat robin.. very different den others.. well.. i use my hand to hold the drink... of coz cold la.. haha... cold drink ma..

well.. we went walk a little while.. after tat we went to cold storage.. yang ching wanan buy some stuff i think.. well.. den me and robin stay outside.. lol!! this time.. we more siao liao lo!!! so funny!!! well.. can say i long time never like this happy liao lo... hehe.. well.. let me see.. we went round round round and round at the center rite ourside of cold storage.. liew.. coz i sms-ing ma.. den he hoh.. dun wanan let me sms.. den hoh.. i hold the phone ma.. den he go and turn turn turn.. walk round round round.. den i have to follow him so tat i can sms.. liew.. we macham dancing lo.. oh man!! den i stop turning.. my hand turn nia.. den hoh!! he hoh!! liew.. stop turning.. but still playing la.. hahaha.. den i told him.. "eh.. we at public hoh??" LOL!! den he say.. ya hoh!! liew.. so fun... haha.. robin really can make me so happy.. haha..

well.. after tat we went home lo.. hehe.. robin pei wo walk till mac there... haha.. he so great... maybe i have crash on him again.. maybe he is the sunshine i finding?? hahaha... aiyo... just now msg him... he now den reply.. i tot he play me again... aiyo!! he say he sick seh.. haiz... he sick he still go swimming... arghhh... heartbreak liao la.. lol... i wonder... how is he now?? hehhe... aw... i still laughing now... whenever i think of him.. hehe.. i wonder.. will he wait for me to finish school on monday?? well.. he finish school at 5pm.. me at 6pm.. hehe.. hope he wait for me.. hmmm.. like tat we can go school together... go home together.. ehehehehe.. only monday la.. the rest... cannot meet him de.. coz time different.. hahaha.. i wonder... how is he now.. what he doing now.. hmmmm... haiz... if he more sick.. i die... is my fault de lo.. haiz...

arghhh... morning wake up... eye so painful.. haiz.. not enough sleep ma... haha.. is not easy to wear contact lenses everyday le!!! haiz.. so suey lo!! the first thing in the morning.. i hit the door!! arghh.. my hand so pain!!! haiz... what a suey start for the day.. hmmmm... today is thursday.. mean.. got sport liao lo.. haiz...

today.. when at sport.. dun kw why!! my body so flexible.. when jump ar.. run ar.. all so easy.. so flexible.. Hen You Tan Xin le... hehe.. even the teacher prise me.. hohoho.. coz he say i do very good.. lol... like tat also can.. haha.. play untill so fun lo!! haha.. today learn how to attack.. wahaha.. i still a bit.. lousy le.. coz haven catch the feeling... but ok la.. can handle.. but goal.. very lousy.. haiz.. den hoh!! injury duo duo.. haiz.. hmmm.. today.. my group is 3 vs 3... haha... the smallest group... and hoh!! is the only time so fun!!! so funny lo!!! i from start of the game laugh till end of the game.. haiz.. and.. very jialat.. injury a lot.. haiz... my partner... liew.. when we were training.. she hit my leg seh!!! coz the ball roll over me ma.. den she wanna hit it.. den become kanna my leg lo... blue black.. haiz...

den when in the 3vs3 game.. liew.. more jialat lo!!! i got the ball.. den i make a U-turn, just like basketball la.. only turn one leg nia.. den i run very fast lo.. with the ball... haiz.. and... coz tat turn and the speed.. i crash to the floor... i hurt my knee... 2 blue black.. total 3 blueblack.. my knee.. wa lao eh.. blueblack so obvious.. haiz.. and so pain!!! haiz.. i dun kw fall down how many time le.. haiz... den when i crash to the floor... well.. i was wanting to shot the goal... coz i fall, i miss shot.. and!!! end up!! almost hit the opponent team goal keeper... i can feel it.. where my stick go lo.. well.. still in my hand la.. never fly out.. but den.. when fall down.. i was shooting the ball style.. tat why.. almsot smack his head!! very very near lo.. abt 3cm away from his head nia.. phew... lucky never hit lo!! but den.. not bad la.. i same team with shuai ge.. and his skill very good lo!!! haha.. quite tall also.. so nice of him also.. hehe.. the team rock man!!!

hmmmm... today home... i have a little nap.. at 4pm lo... but den 6pm woke up liao.. cannot slp anymore.. haiz.. coz.. very difficult to slp le.. a lot of things keep on going in and out of my mind.. making me really very... uncomfortable...

hmmmm... tml... sure can see robin in the bus in the morning.. and.. yeah... he wait for me to finish school tml.. he so good~!~! haha.. i 6pm den finish school... he 5pm finish liao.. den.. i ask him to wait for me.. and.. yeah.. he say ok.. after saying no.. haha.. so fun... robin so good... hahaha...

I HATE MATLs... haiz.. 8am start tat lesson.. stupid la.. haiz..

alright... i never sleep for one whole day.. didnt get a wink... arghhhhh.. and... i late for class!!!!! haiz... coz got accident.. coz so much jam.. after tat.. i miss the bus... haiz.. den no cab... haiz... MATL class le.. the teacher always ask why late de... den i think what i should say lo.. maybe can think of one very creative de.. haha.. i think a lot le.. alien invension la... everything.. hahaha... but den.. when i reach... lucky!!! never more den 15min... phew... never consider absent.. haha.. when i reach the classroom... i try to run away from teacher.. lol... cant run.. haha.. he ask why i late.. but den.. all the excuse i think hoh.. all never use.. well.. my fren all help me to say.. well.. they know i didnt get a wink last night ma.. so they help me out a bit.. den.. what i said was "late mean late... no need reason".. wahahha... whole class "WHAAAAA"... lol.. feel so "cool" man... haha.. but den.. what teacher said was "very good.. very honest..." wahahha.. late also can kanna praise... not bad not bad.. but den.. teacher cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haiz.. he always cheat my attendence de.. when not late... he put late.. arghhhh... not fair!!!

but.. i was so tired thru out the whole lesson.. haiz.. and kw what?? the test was so easy lo.. liew.. what he said b4 the test.. all come out lo.. if i kw is like this de.. i wun bother to study untill like this.. haiz... got 2 test today ma.. MATL and EG1.. haha.. 100% pass de la.. very confident.. hmmmm.. today.. went home straight after school wor.. first time le...

waited for very long for the bus to come... haiz... well, when the bus come.. i wanan go up ma.. den!! my hang so pain!! wanna know why?? coz ROBIN pock me!!! haiz.. his nail very long de lo.. den pock me.. very pain de le.. haiz... so... everyday wednesday our lesson end the same.. hmmm.. maybe every wednesday can ask him go home together.. hehe.. well.. we talk a lot lo.. wahahah!!! last time.. never talk much de lo... we just see see den play basketball.. tat all.. and now.. lol.. we keep on talking.. we talk so much of stuff.. hmmm.. starting we talk abt the oversea programmes.. after tat... we talk abt our classmate... den... swimming... after tat.. mac... wahaha... got so much to talk sia.. so fun... first time so fun when go home.. coz everytime i alone de... tat why very sian... no ppl to talk to.. haha.. well.. swimming!!!!!!! and know what?? i told him abt the 4.5m deep de swimming pool lo... and!! he also very interested sia.. haha.. we got go swimming together de.. and hoh!! his leg damn powerful man!!! can in the middle of the pool.. like tat stay for few hours wun stop.. for me?? 1min wanna drown liao lo.. haha.. den!! he also told me tat 4years ago.. he also got work mac.. den.. he told me so much of his story... wahaha.. so funny!!! well.. he get off 1 stop b4 me ma... den hoh!! he walk!! so ah beng le!! hahaha.. but.. he do look better now.. but den!! hair too long.. feel so untidy also.. wahahahha... he walk so ah beng.. and when i saw him.. i sure smile de lo.. den b4 he go!! he said "why keep smile smile de".. lol!!! i also dun kw lo.. see him.. so funny.. wanna laugh!! wahahaha... chao ah beng wun change de la.. lol!!!!!!!!!

den i go mac lo.. haiz.. wait for tat wen jie for 2hours plus.. he really.. go hong kong change his uniform sia.. said go home change uniform den come.. end up.. fall asleep at home.. and me so blur blur stupid at mac wait for so long.. haiz.. lucky i got my lap top with me.. den i play till so happy.. maham whole store i book sia.. wahahha... hmmmm.. at 5pm plus.. yiyi come!! hehe.. love to see yiyi smile.. so good..yiyi today keep bully me!!! walk pass me.. must pull my hair!!! one day!! my hair sure gone botak de!! if keep on like this pull.. hehe.. yiyi so warm... so nice.. and.. yiyi grow up so much seh.. if compare him now and when he was in the sec.. totally different.. i like now de yiyi.. hehe.. so fun........

well.. my eye lid got jump le!!! lucky... nothing happen today... phew.. i think.. the only bad thing is... my short!!!!!!!!! haiz... tml dun kw will dry a not.. arbo i sure die untill very pretty liao.. tml is sport and wellness le!!! sob sob.. oh well.. and today... haiz.. can slp 6hours nia.. die liao lo.. i really become robot liao.. today whole day not really tat tired seh.. wahahaha... i am robot ruby~~~~

hmmmm.. den.. evl come~ lol.. today he got guitar lesson.. tat why see if i around there.. den come find me.. well.. when he come... the first thing i wanna do is to touch his forehead.. see if his fever had gone down.. but he hoh!! die die dun let me touch.. haiz... nvm.. since he said he ok.. ok lo.. and hoh!! evl.. MUST EAT more fried stuff le!! den dun drink water.. like this.. U SURE HEAL VERY FAST!!! and also can LOSS FAT!!! really... wahahahaha........

yawn...... what can i do??? slp?? YESH!!!!!!! i wan to slp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahhha... wait a minute!!!! i wonde yiyi sat wanna go shopping with me ma.. haiz.. coz i wanna buy some clothes lo.. poly can wear... i run out of clothes liao le!!!!!!! sob sob... haiz... ke lian de wo... yawn...... haiz.. finally!!!!!!!! i yawn!!!!!!!!!!!! the first yawn!!!!!! lol... yesh.. can slp liao!!!!!!!! CHIONG AR!!!!!!!!!! bed...... i am coming~!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wo Hao Nan Shou!~ now i know what.. whenever my eye lid jump... i sure cry... it being like this for a few weeks liao... and just now?? it jump both side... and.. now... i in a totally stress period... i was doing my blueprint with wen jie just now.. and??? i forgot all abt the test tml.. i got 2 test tml... lesson start 8am... den test start at 8am.. die lo... in bus... no time to study.... coz.. dun even have space to stand.. dun say study lo.. seem like i have to study till tml morning lol.. die lo.. sure very die... haiz... wonder if tml... will fall asleep in class a not.. haiz.. let me die bah...

i feel like keeping my blog in a complete silent lo... so tat no ppl can understand me... like tat will be better rite?? understand a person more... u will feel more hurt.. correct?? dun u all think so?? whenever u know one person so well.. and... tat very same person do something or say something bad.. u will feel more hurt den ever... coz.. most likely u will kw what he/she thinking.. tat why.. and.. now i so hate myself.. i hate myself being able to see one person character so easily... sometime.. i tot is a good thing tat i can understand ppl so well.. at least.. i know what i can say/do to them... and wun hurt their heart.. but.. do anybody know me?? understand me?? and do anyone know how den i wun hurt my heart?? haiz...

i always wanted my closer fren... to feel happy.. i dun wanna see.. those hurt in me.. found in them... tat why i understand them as much as possible.. so tat can let them run away from the trap... haiz.. end up?? i always get in the trap... i really... such a idiot.. no matter what i do.. no ppl will care.. who will really say thank you from the bottom of their heart?? everybody is so fake nowadays... is not them.. is not the "fren" tat i used to call...

the door in my heart.. is closing every single bit everyday... other den school.. got no place for me to open my mouth and talk.. i began to be very silent.. even phone call.. i also start to feel like.. dun wanna pick up.. coz. dun feel like talking.. am i suffering from zi bi?? haiz... why am i crying in the middle of the night?? why i started to cry in the night?? and when i started it?? most likely.. when everybody started to start their poly bah.. haiz..

whenever i cry... i can't find anyone.. coz.. there is a stop sign.. stopping me from finding them... even if i use to find them.. but now?? NOW?? i can't.. everything have change... ever since everyone gone to their school.. all the diff poly.. everything change~ change to a state that had cause me so miserable... who?? who really take me as a fren anyway? those i consider a fren?? who will give me a call whenever they are free?? who will give me a greeting msg when they think of me?? who will miss me when i miss them?? who will make the efford to say "how are you nowadays?" and who will even ask how my poly life?? none of them same school with me.. dun even say same class.. who will bother to say hi to me anyway.. do anyone know how i live in my poly life?? and do anyone know how hard it is to survive there alone without any know fren?? do anyone know how i really feel?? why must i cry in the middle of the night?? why?? why everything become like this... i wanna know why... who will really know what i thinking when go into a totally unknown place?? and i have to survive there for 3 long years.. and do anybody know HOW I FEEL!!! does anyone know tat i got this kind of fear?? fear of unknown places?? fear of living in a totally unknow place?? who know what i really fear?? who know.. who really know?? those people i consider fren.. do u all know a not?? whenever i cry alone... i am just like a little baby... a helpless baby.. can't do anything but cry.. but who will come lend me a hand?? and pull me up?? who really can bring me light when i in a totally darkness?? who will wanted to bring me joy when i am sad?? why am i so ke lian??? everytime kanna use by people.. huiling ar huiling.. why u so poor thing??

xiong??? yiyi?? can i find them?? after what had happened recently.. i totally dun kw this xiong.. and yiyi le?? he already so busy.. how abt evl?? he himself already like this.. dun really wanan add more stress to him... how abt others??? none... except my blog.. i have no place to go anymore... beach?? haiz.. i can't go there anymore... becoz tat day.. haiz.. dun wanna say abt it liao.. i only can cry hard... and write my blog.. i can't even talk to my parent.. they wun understand also.. how wish i wun grow up... like this i wun have so much problem..

my body getting weaker and weaker.. who really know?? ytd... i shouldn't have told xiong i not feeling well etc.. coz only will make him feel tat i so ma fan.. so little girl.. always wanna tell people this and tat.. but what the purpose?? i only wanna people to notice me.. know tat i also need somebody to talk to... need someone to console me.. but den?? whenever i told somebody... end up?? i will kanna scold.. what.. "not my problem what.. tell me for what.. ur wan die go die lo.. slowly die.. why do everyone keep telling me what their problem.. who ask u dun take care yourself.. zhi zuo zhi shou.. obi gd.. good for you.." or never even wanted to reply me.. all this.. making feel tat i am so lonely.. so lost.. no one i can turn to.. all the fren is fake.. is just a name only.. all this making me scare of making me new fren... and being alone.. is what i get.. all becoz of this.. tat time.. i said to xiong tat.. "dun worry... even if i die.. i also dun tell u.. at least.. wun get scolded by u.. or make u feel fan gan.." well.. tat what i will said.. i let out my hand to hope for some respond and help.. but end up.. so many cut.. and is feel so hurt.. if is like this.. i wun let my hand out again.. is too painful..

每次都是我一个人抱着自己痛哭。有谁真的能借我他的肩膀来靠？多么希望真的有个人，能够陪我度过我最伤心的时候。可是。。真的有这个人存在吗？

no matter how sad.. how terrible i feel.. i always alone.. is really.. very difficult to get over with it.. but... it force me to do it.. and?? what happen is.. i getting more and more zi bi.. starting is anti-social.. after tat?? getting more and mroe silent... what will happen next?? kill myself?? or just jump down the building to end my life.. dun worry.. if i wan to die.. i also wanna die pretty.. those smashing.. no thx.. but den.. is more faster way also.. haiz..

Xiong: i dun care if u think i am naggy.. i dun care if u think my attitude change.. but.. i think.. u know when i start change bah... just wanan say everything i think... like it or not.. up to u.. u can chose not to read it.. well.. think u never visit my blog also.. and maybe.. wun able to read this also.. haiz.. but.. have u notice?? after u go poly.. what happen to u?? or can i say.. when u become manager.. poly is just a excuse right?? poly bad fren.. is all a excuse rite?? the way i feel of u now.. is a totally diff person.. fine.. think u will say.. ppl do grow up.. ppl do change.. if u really like this say.. i got nth to say.. but i know... the xiong i know.. is lock inside ur heart.. and refuse to come out.. no matter how i wanna tried to pull the xiong out.. no use.. he dun wanna let his hand out... he chose to hide inside.. know what the problem?? becoz the xiong is acting coward.. why dun wanan face the problem?? why u keep running away?? i really dun understand.. stress stress stress... what u will say is just becoz of stress... NONSENSE!!! all bullshit.. the xiong is not the one so easy get beaten by "STRESS"... and now?? the xiong become a coward and go hide away from stress.. where got like this de... and becoz of this.. no matter what i said.. to u?? all bullshit also rite?? u only know how to say "dun think too much" or "u think too much".. please.. bu yao zai tao bi le... yong gan yi dian..

yiyi: really wanna thank for for taking care of me.. what surprised me is.. ur attitude become so good now.. things started to go so fine.. and i always like this yiyi.. coz this yiyi is so cute when he smile.. and so cheerful... so caring... really thank you... everytime send me home when is late.. even treat me so many thing eat.. yiyi always so good.. really very happy to know u.. also protect me a lot.. got yiyi, sure feel very safe.. yiyi is the best..

evl: know u since primary school.. only untill secondary 5 really kw who is evl.. starting.. really very shock to see u got so much problem.. and at tat critical period.. i dun kw wheather i got help or not.. but now.. see u getting more better.. really very happy already.. what i dun wanna see is u gone back to tat state.. tat state i really HATE so much... coz also add me a lot of stress wor.. and also.. u... keep on hurting urself.. haiz.. now u think?? izzit worth it?? dun rite?? only make u look ugly.. like tat.. sometime got nice nice clothes also cannot wear.. coz can see the mark.. and also will make ur body worst.. and now.. u going 18 liao.. is time.. really is time for u to clear all the thinking and start afresh.. 18 years in this world.. is not easy.. so.. u must Zhen Xi the rest of ur life happily... u always like to act brave in front of me.. but everytime fail.. u know what u always do?? u will say.. "huh?? nothing happen ar??" after tat.. u will run away... and avoid me to ask any further.. rite?? if u go think.. u r like this de.. how wish to see me happy post in ur blog.. haiz.. but for me?? hard lo..

ruby: hey u.. u going 18 this years also le.. how can still like this?? ur emotion is getting weaker and weaker do u notice tat?? but den.. u have no idea how to deal with it.. and everytime.. things happen.. u dun kw use what kind of emotion to handle.. tat why all become stress.. and make u cry all the way.. like this is not good u kw.. 1am in the morning liao le.. so u really dun wanna slp ar?? the test is important.. but ur health more important right?? u already notice ur body condition is getting bad to worst... den why u still wanna stay thru out the nite to study.. and go to school without any sleep?? what happening to u?? without somebody to talk to.. without somebody to notice u.. really tat important?? why u so lost?? tot u always got the ability to solve the problem urself?? why now end up like this?? dun tell me u wanan run away... anyway.. running away wun solve the problem.. but.. running away will cause more problem to come.. so what do u wan to do?? i kw ur life is very stress and tired.. u didn't even have enough sleep everyday... and everyday.. in school.. more and more stress is added up together.. i know u gonna out of breath liao.. but if u continue like this.. u really will broke down completely... u must faster find a solution.. or else.. things gonna be really bad.. u always said.. "no ppl can help u unless u help urself".. but now?? why u wanna ask ppl to help u?? well.. there do time tat u can't do anything.. and need help.. and u are in tat period now.. but den.. if u refuse to say anything out.. no ppl can help u.. come on.. slowly... take one step at a time.. no ppl is rushing u.. dun care abt the time left.. care abt the time u used to take ur step.. tat every step.. is all done by u... if u dun give up.. u will reach the goal.. remembered.. is not abt the time u take to reach ur goal.. is about how u take tat very step out to reach ur goal.. yesh.. u must reach the goal.. but in a correct way.. ok??

arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!! feel so tired seh!!!! today... let me see.. well.. i tot i miss the bus... but den.. never~ lol... as usual.. saw robin in the bus.. well.. me and him will take the same bus at tat same time... hmmmm... he hoh!!! still the same.. so funny and nice.. well.. we dun really talk in the first bus.. but in the 2nd bus.. we talk non-stop.. haiz.. well.. we miss the 2nd bus.. coz too many people.. haha.. so we wait for another one la... this time.. so lot of space for us.. hehehe... we talk abt school.. result.. oversea programmes.. and.. i also forget liao.. haha..

he walk so fast... so hard to catch up with him.. haiz.. i know his leg very long... lol.. also cannot like this de ma... haha... every monday sure 100% saw him de lo... hehe.. so good to have a fren accompany from the start to the end of the journey.. feel so great... haha.. wun feel so lost and lonely either.. lalala..

i was so tired today man!!! feel like sleeping in class.. dun really have the energy to do any stuff.. haiz.. also never pay attention in class le!!! well.. i score 150/200 in my FQM test.. not bad not bad.. above average.. haha... but.. after tat test.. what the teacher taught.. i all never listen.. wonder how to do my homework like this.. haiz..

2 more test to go ruby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will die le!!!!!! haiz... evl called my when i having my lesson.. and now.. he never on his phone.. i wonder what is happening.. if i never guess wrongly.. sure.. is tat thing de la!!! and hoh!! evl!!!!!!!!!!! tag my blog also le!!! T.T

yawn........... is time to CHIONG LIAO LA!!!!!!!!! i mean chiong study!! wahahahhaa...

i feel very terrible... i tot.. everything goes fine... but den.. just now... i cry on the way back home... lucky evl is there for me... but den... he also told me something.. den... i really... break down now... i dun kw how to handle... hey evl... dun feel bad ok?? coz.. even if u didn't told me anything... things wun be better also...

today... i am sick... well.. was with evl whole day... i went to his hse.. and play guitar... dun kw what i play also.. after tat.. we go play basketball.. everything was so great.. so happy.. untill den... something bad is going on in my mind.. all the sad things appear in my mind... and i getting more and more sick.. i feel very giddy... evl den accompany me go northpoint.. he also send me home...

on the way back.. was so... terrible... i feel extreme bad... i cry... evl try to remove the tears on my face... but... i still feel very bad... i remain silent ont he way home... well.. at least i know.. "he" has started... for so long... everything become so clear...

i dun kw what happen... i dun wan all this to happen.. and i really.. dun wish what i am thinking will happen... i dun wan to lose a fren like him... what happen ytd... everything appear in my mind again... i thinking of why i reply him like tat... now i realise tat... i dun really know him well... haiz...

once again.. my tears drop for him... but.. does he even kw how i feel?? know what i wan?? if time can really go back.. will u continue to do this?? will u ever think of this... no matter how much i do... how much i cry.. wun mean anything to u.. right?? nvm... dun visit my blog again... dun do tat again... i dun wan u to feel more stress... i dun wan u to feel bad.. feel stress.. do whatever u think is correct... even if i will cry for the rest of my life... i willing to do it... so long as.. u are happy.. do whatever u want.. just take as i didn't know anything...

evl: sorry to let u worry so much... u always like a brother to me.. thank... just let me be... i will get over with it.. just let me.. cry...

oh well!! guess what... i slept for 17hours!!! aiyoyoyo... how on earth can i sleep for so long? since ytd late afternoon... i feel so tired... den i tot of getting a small nap... well.. i got show i wanna watch ma.. so i asked my brother to wake me up when the show about to start... but den... i end up sleeping till 11 plus... haiz... well.. no show... but... but father end up asking me to wake up and eat.. haha.. well.. i also hungry... so i wake up eat la... hmmmmm... end up go to bed le... well.. i dream so much today...

i only can remember some... hmmm.. i dream of xiong... and... hmmmm.. well.. i can't really remember what happening.. what i think i can remember is that.. seem like we are detecting stuff or what le... hmmmm... i held on xiong hand tight... and we are like running away from something... i dun really remember what happen also.... den... his parent appear... and he go and find his parent.. den.. i walking about acting like dun know him.. aiyo... den his parent was talking about me some how.. den.. at this moment.. i crash into accident... haiz...

what a weird dream right?? maybe.. miss xiong too much le bah.. after all this thing happen... haiz... but... the xiong i dream wun be back.. izzit??? haiz... nothing i can do also... hope he can understand...

hmmmm.. poly life.. omg.. what a life.. i in school for 3weeks... and it seem like i already study at there for 3month... i am so tired about the travelling... how wish got somebody to talk to me when i in the bus.. coz.. is really too boring.. and the trip is so lonely.. haiz... i think... i getting more and more silent liao.. more and more zi bi liao.. who can help me open my heart?? haiz... my life is so... silent.. so... boring... haiz... no wonder i sleep for so long.. coz.. in my dream.. is more interesting... more.. wen xin... more.. happy... and can have advanture trip in my dream also... but in real life.. i am so... lonely and... bored.. oh ya.. i remember... i still sleep abt my past school day... and i was make in charge of a lot of stuff... and i was so busy in my dream... and also very fun.. how can a life without fun??? correct?? but.. i dun have fun!!! haiz...

haiz.. i spend all my time in study liao le.. i also dun kw why.. i like a crazy human liao.. keep on study non-stop.. i never like this before.. what is happening in me?? T.T

i need light.. a warm light.. a warm hug... a warm of everything.. i getting ice... i dun wan be a cold hearted person.. i need warm... to melt all the ice in me... if not.. i gonna become a zi bi person.. haiz... why i can help others and not myself?? my life is so miserable.. oh well.. later i going to go work liao... 2pm start work.. wonder how will it like... after so long..

hmmmm.. my school got oversea programme.. maybe i can consider tat bah.. they said is for 5month... maybe.. is a good time for me to go??? left eveyone.. and find a happy time... haiz.. why like this??? why those i consider as fren de.. act so diff... why... haiz....

LOL!! above is what i wrote in the morning... now.. is at nite.. den i write de.. continue it... hahaha... well.. i went working today... what a heavy rain.. but den.. today work.. so easy lo... today double pay... well.. no service in... no much customer.. keep on chatting and talking lo... nothing much to do also... hmmm.. today work with yiyi... everytime got free ice cream eat de.. when he work.. hehe.. love yiyi so much~ coz he is my yiyi... well.. today de yiyi.. very different wor.. attitude change so much.. this yiyi is so nice... hehe... yiyi is the best... hehe... well.. i waited for yiyi to knock off for work.. waited for... 4hours.. lol... well.. yiyi send me home after tat... haha..

hmmmm... while working.. xiong got come... but den.. dun kw why... the way i reply him was so... attitude... haiz... this is not what i wanted~ i know!! i know this is not what i wanted... but den... i can't help it... what my heart telling me was... "how come will saw him??? why i feel so sad..." maybe... the incident... still in my heart running.. haven settle down... u know what??? i can't accept it.. I CAN'T ACCEPT IT!!! my heart wun allow me to accept the fact tat u are doing tat now... i just can't... it gonna make me gone insane at no time... what can i do?? there is no way to ask me not to care.. look so fake when u in front of me... so fake.. is not you... not ur true self....

oh... just watch finish the show.. volcano high... this is the first show.. tat give me tat special feeling... tat feeling is so good... i remembered.. last time... eric lend this show to me.. and i watch it for 2 time.. coz.. very nice.. the actor so handsome~!~!~! haiz... how wish i got a boyfriend like this also... but.. haiz... when den will happen???

ytd.. my father held on my hand... when i was sleeping... coz.. i suddenly wake up... and he was helding on my hand.. and say... "study till so tired..." etc... my father hand is so warm... i like tat feeling ... and i wanted to find tat feeling... papa so best.. papa dote me best... haha... i love u papa..

once again... i write my blog in the bus!! arghh... the stupid bus!!! so slow... waited for nearly 20min den it come.. and now??? raining so big.. it drive so fast!!! really very scare will have accident a not le... if have... i wun have the chance to post this liao.. so.. if u saw this post... tat mean i am alive!!! i still alright!!! lol... the rain now.. really super big.. just now in school.. macham!! BAO FENG YU!!! the big so strong... so cold!! haiz.. aiyo!! the stupid driver.. can drive slowly a not?? i know is expressway... but... raining le... how can drive so fast... haiz...
well... arghhh.. i think i die liao lo... i si mian again... what the hell happening to me... why like this... it seem like is the so call auto clock... i woke up 1hour earlier... wa lao eh.. my eye so painful... haiz.. not enough sleep... comfirm de... si mian kam not enough sleep... die liao lo... well... hardly go home so early from school de le.. it seem like i use to it going home late late liao... hmmm.. wonder later at home can do what...

oh ya!! today... or should i say... just now.. is so happy le me... coz.. my classmate is so lame!!! wahahaha... this time got zhu cheng in the gangs... lol... alvin, boon, zhu cheng and me... well.. the rest.. they doing other stuff... so.. left us doing our stuff la... haha... boon really... lame... everytime.. in front of me nia.. also send me msg in msn... lame rite??? haha... hmmm... well... zhu cheng saw my msn nick at boon laptop.. which is just beside me nia... can u imagine?? u just turn ur head a little little little bit nia... u can see what u type to him.... haiz.. well.. zhu cheng read out my nick seh!! den he was saying.. u copy from lyrics de izzit??? when u type this izzit crying?? lol... den u kw what?? end up... boon and zhu cheng... started singing!!! using my nick!!! wa lao eh!!! they sing so loud man.. i laugh till tears drop out... they really can make me laugh like siao charbor le!!! wahahaha... what a great day...

hmmmmm.... today... bag should be super light de lo.. end up... so heavy... i dun need to bring lap top de le.. but coz... the stupid project.. i bring it... to do some research... also finish up the FQM work online.. coz i tot today also will extreme late go home.. like tat... sure die ma... got time de le.. by today 9pm must pass up.. and i kw.. i comfirm after 9pm den reach home de.. but today... it seem like.. i will reach home by 8plus.. hahahaha... oh no!! gonna reach chong pang liao... maybe i can continue in a while time.. wait ar!!!

wa lao eh... the bus so fast seh!!!! everytime it took more den 20 over plus minute den reach chong pang.. now le?? it took 15min to reach!! WA KAO!!!! so danger!!! lucky i still in one piece... wahahha... hmmmm... oh... i wanna faint liao lo... now in mac.. haha... so is ping ping tat is working now.. and i saw my god sister... jie min here.. haha.. so i come in disturb her as well la.. hahaha.. hmmm.. hungry..

hmmm.. i think i siao liao.. really siao liao.. not school food den is mac de food.. nothing else.. like this.. not siao is what?? hahahaha... oh no!!! headache.. feel so giddy now.. haiz....

ok.. let me see.. i 11plus at nite den go back home.. oh man.. the bus waited for so long... really wanna sleep liao... haiz... today... i study so much seh... after school, eddie ginger and me went to KAP mac and study.. haha.. and... when i go buy the food.. hahaha... i like a big bully sia.. lol.. nvm la.. first time.. hmmmm... they said tat KAP food is best.. in term of the holding time etc.. but den.. what i found out was... they still serve over holding time de food wor... tat was really a big surprised for me.. haha.. but i order special order.. so.. nvm...

haiz... boss hoh!! really very... lol... haiz.. he bully me sia.. tat time ask me go KAP take the document.. now le??? ask me go return.. and my time so crash today seh... 2hours break also not enough... 1hour for lunch... and also today is cheng boon birthday... cheng boon is my classmate la... but den.. today.. celebrate till very... LOW lo.. not high at all.. but den.. cheng boon look great today... at least more handsome den the previous time... lol.. the past 2 weeks la.. hmmmm... ok... back to boss... i really so tired till siao liao lo... i didn't sleep well le.. i even SI MIAN!! haiz.. not again.. wonder why i always si mian.. really give me a big headache lo... hmmmm... i go return document... after tat i rush back to school lo.. they all at CAL2... haha... when i reach there.. i was so HOT!!! and wanna die liao.. coz very tired... i walk super fast lo.. coz not enough time... but den.. end up.. no lesson.. what the hell.. another 2hours break... stupid lo!!! den we all go library... haha..

it seem like i addicted to study liao lo... keep on study non-stop.. now... i help out my classmate.. hahaha... it seem like i can be a top student... lol.. maybe in my dream?? aiya.. class got a lot of pro le.. dun kw can be top student ma.. hmmmm... try my best bah... so far... so good.. i can even teach others... just like today.. i taught eddie... lol... taught till 10 plus in the night... well.. now really super tired liao lo... haiz...

i dun believe it... i write my blog in the bus now.. i in bus 171 now.. hey hey.. no wireless connection in the bus la~!! bus dun have so high-tech now.. i writing in my word pad... den go home cut and paste inside my blog... coz... in bus.. also nothing to do.. scare i fall a sleep sia... so write lo.. lucky my laptop still got batt.. arbo... i really will sian till siao.. so sleepy liao le!! arghhhh... headache...

BOSS OWE ME 2 MEAL!!! he said tat he bring me to Teppanyaki next week... wahahahha.. see.. i so good.. he can save 2 long journey to KAP... very far le!! i everyday like this travel... travel till i wanna siao liao lo... so many people... bag so heavy... AND TODAY!!! the most heavy time ever!!! coz.. today... all those got book and lap top de module.. all is monday... den the rest le... light like siao... tml.. also can dun bring bag lo.. coz.. very little nia.. haha... today.. really very heavy la my bad.. bo bian.. plus a lap top.. i think... i will lose weight fast.. but den.. it seem like i adding weight le... coz.. my face... look fatter liao!!! arghhh!!! no!!!!

hmmmm.. coz today is monday... tat why i can saw robin.. coz... every monday.. me and him same time start lesson.. so.. when i got in the bus.. he also abt tat time taking the bus... tat why we will meet.. lol!! he very bad le!! so... Xin Zai Le Huo... aiyo... coz.. bus too many ppl... till.. the last girl tat get in... her bag.. kanna the door.. den.. cannot pull out.. untill i reach my school tat bus stop.. den her bag is save.. LOL!!! so funny... well.. robin... look so beng... lol.. he always look so beng.. haha..

oh man.. very headache now.. i think... what i will do is... faster post this.. den run to bed and sleep.. or else... tml.. i sure die... haiz... hope tml... got seat!! arbo.. like today.. carry so heavy de stuff.. stand all the way... very poor thing de u kw... hmmmm.. i am hungry,... aiya!!! gonna reach chong pang liao.. cannot write liao.. arbo i miss stop die.. i stop here liao la!!!!

haiz... quarrel with xiong... maybe it dun seem like quarrel.. but... i feel tat the words i use very hurting... ya... indeed... i dun kw what i talking... haiz... the answer he gave... is not from his heart.. but just suit me nia... is all like... saying what a person wanna hear.. simply said.. is... entertain nia... tat why whatever answer he said.. i will say something bad... haiz... our friendship... dun kw what will happen... haiz...

he hurt his leg ytd... falling down from a ladder.. blue black... haiz... the feeling... of worry.. is there... it seem like i can't make meself dun care of him... it was like.. a part of my life liao... haiz... nvm... since... scold also make no different... i think.. let it be bah.. i will try not to be like this liao... if not... i will get more disappointed... haiz... anyway... he dun care how i feel also right?? hahaha..

well... cry a little when talking to xiong... haiz.. nvm... lucky got yang ching... she accompany me.. at least making me feel better... haiz.. old fren is the best.. she know me longer...

hmmm... later in the evening... ma and yang ching go evl hse.. we go play guitar.. aiyo... his guitar string die liao... haha.. poor thing... well.. at least.. i am happy... coz.. i keep bully evl... haha... he also wanna surrender liao... coz i bully him till he siao... lol...

haiz... sian... life really hard le... i think... i will.. stay in school till very late.. after tat go home slp.. everyday like this live... haha..

haiz... my life today was so empty.. i woke up at 4 plus in the afternoon... so many flash come across me... my dream... was so long and sweet... it seem like i only can have a happy life in my dream... the dream was so... give me a safe feeling... and... that what i wanted so much..

kenneth appeared in my dream... and i remembered... tat time.. in VE... he is the first guy tat touch my hand... coz.. he wanna give me see the pic he took.. and he scare i delete it.. coz the pic is me!!! arghhh... den he held on my hand... feel so weird... oh well... in my dream... i met him inside the lift... and.. he bring me to one place.. i not sure where izzit.. but.. i am scare of tat place.. and... he hold on my hand... the feeling is so safe... well.. kenneth is only a brother to me.. he protect me... i always see him as a brother to me.. in my dream... the whole place is in a totally disaster... and kenneth is there to pull me out of danger.. haiz.. but now??? who will it be??? who will the one tat pull me out be??

oh well.. am i tat stupid to depend on dream??? those tat i didn;t have in my real life?? i only can expect it to have in my dream.. haiz...

haiz.. am i having a crack with xiong? after we graduate... we getting further and further apart... and now??? wat will happen next??? wat am i expecting??? haiz... i think... he will know wat i am expecting... but... will he run away??? or... be a man and tell me in front of me???

haiz.. what for crying?? i cannot control my tears after my lesson today... ginger saw me crying.. i think eddie and some of them saw it too... i really dun kw what i am thinking.. why??? i think so much for what??

when i on the way to school.. i think so much.. i knew something is wrong.. den i starting thinking of everything... it seem like xiong also use a mask infront of me... haiz... am i too harsh on him?? haiz... but... he keep on running away from topic.. i dun understand why he wanna do tat... haiz..

my mood in school was so bad today... i remain totally silent... but.. thank for ginger.. cheering me up... support me.. when i cry... well.. boon also help to cheer me up.. they all can see that i am so sad.. haiz..

when i have my 3hours break... i walk all the way from my school to King Albert Park Mac(KAP mac).. i walk alone... and this path of road.. i think a lot... well.. i go get some stuff for boss.. haiz..

after later in the day... i feel much more better le.. i keep on study and study... put all my concentration in study... when i end my lesson at 6pm... i ask eddie ginger alvin they all go study... well.. they dun really quite understand.. so i teach them la... haiz.. at least.. study.. can make me stop all my thinking...

very very very late den reach home.. haiz.. never really eat much today.. totally have no appetite... haiz... didn't have a good nite slp ytd... i cried when i sleep.. my eye hurt... today when wake up... my eye.. really... can't open big... it feel so pain...

oh well.. i went back play gunbound... time now is almost 4am liao.. haiz.. can't sleep.. i wonder.. do i need to buy sleeping pills?? in order to let me have a nice sleep??haiz..

well.. when i so sad... i really wan somebody to be at my side... at least.. somebody can protect me.. and.. i always hope tat person is xiong... but.....

nevermind.... alone bah.... haiz.. now.. i always wanted to stay in school untill very very late den go back... like this... when i reach home... i can just go to bed.. and think nothing else.. well.. this not my day... everything come up to me.. Yi Bo Wei Ping.. Yi Bo You Qi... really a tough one... haiz..

2nd time i cry... today... becoz of u... izzit tat hard to give me ur word??? fine.. since... u wan it tat way... dun wanna tell me what happen... fine... as what i said.. u wan to do it... go ahead... i dun care anymore... if u wan to do tat... how matter how many time in a day... i also wun care...

XIONG!!! i so disappointed in u.... why u keep running away... why can't u just face it... how much tears do u wan me to waste?? i tot today we can have fun together... end up??? i cry till i vomited... WHAT U WAN ME TO DO IN ORDER U TO STOP TAT!!!! TELL ME!!!

what u wan me to do.... xiong.... do u know what u are doing a not??? WHERE IS THE UNDERSTABLE XIONG!!! where is tat xiong... WHY I KEEP SAYING U CHANGE!!! U TELL ME!~! U KNOW ME DE LO!!! but do u understand why i say u change??

u really hurt me tat much... nvm.. it may be nothing to u... nvm... 4get it.. take it as i too busybody... take it as u never have told me b4... take it as i never exist... I AM JUST A BUSYBODY!!! OK????

i wun give u stress... i wun ask anything abt it anymore... whatever u do.. i wun touch anymore.. i wun ask anymore... i wun do anything to it anymore...

today.... 4/5/2006 i will remember today... i keep it as a memory... i keep the tears... and everything in the past... all the good stuff.. will be in my memory... if one day... i die... i hope i will only bring the good memory... and not the bad...

i am so sad... so damn sad... end up hearing those i dun wish to hear de.. why... why xiong went to tat path... it make me so sad... i almost cry out infront of him just now... end up.. crying.. alone.. at home... why i feel so hurt... why he want to do that... something must have happen... oh... now i know... the thing u cannot find outside school.. so this is it...

tot can really enjoy and have fun today with xiong.. end up?? i cry alone at home.. what the hell... the xiong i know.. is really gone.. i can really confirm now.. the xiong i wanted is not there.. the xiong... gone where... where can i find u... T.T i know now de xiong is better... but den... if he learn those stuff... i rather have the old xiong den now de xiong... at least i know... who he hang out with last time... but now... we all in different poly.. no ppl can take care of him... i have no idea who he hang out with... well.. when time goes by... maybe.. he will just forget me... after all.. i mean nothing for him at all... everybody will just go with their poly fren.. and me?? just a secondary fren.. and one day... he will delete me in his heart... haiz... really very very sad... when he said those stuff just now...

today... i tot finally can go to the beach.. but... never.. now.. i feel more like going to the beach... tot can minus problem.. but.. end up.. add more problem.. how come like this... i wan to relax... end up more sad...

arghhhh... really wan to cry... infect.. is already crying... why... i really dun understand... xiong wanna keep something in his heart... nvm.. he can dun tell.. but.. why... why he go and............ haiz... it really hurt me a lot... just now... i really... dun wanna talk anymore.. coz i kw... i will bust out crying... i keep silent... untill he left... my tear coming out..

WHAT FOR I WORRY ABT THIS AND THAT!!! end up.. maybe will get "none of ur business"... i just being too busybody... arghhhh....

I WAN GO BEACH!!!! T.T i feeling so terrible now... i know i must get over with it... i know i can!!! why am i crying??? why??? what must i cry??? is none of my business rite?? why must i cry... oh great.. is gonna rain... is a good time to walk under the rain later..

alright den... i be alone... after all.. alone... is what i can do... nvm... i will stop depend on others.. i will do everything myself.. at least.. it wun add stress to others... wun make them feel tat i am such a troublesome person... i will start doing everything alone... alone eat.. alone buy things.. alone do all the stuff i always wanted others to accompany me.. even beach... i wun ask xiong to accompany me... i will go alone... maybe... tml after sch??? or.. what??? haiz... at least.. what i wan... i can do it my own... no ppl can stop me..

ah man... i had enough liao la... let end it all...

haiz... i wanna go to the beach... and clear all my thinking... life is so... haiz... why?? why i keep complaining my life here and there?? why can't i just get over with it?? haiz... i know.. i still.. not ready for all this... FAN AR!!! whenever i think abt it.. i really very stress... i know my life is not easy now... and i kw.. the job in VE.. is not what i wanted.. more likely.. i wun be doing.. is not tat i am scare.. is just that.. it dun suit me.. but den.. i like the environment... the people there.. people like alvin.. azhar.. yi ming and so on.. they are so nice to me.. but den.. the job just dun suit me... sorry that i let u down kenneth.. really sorry.. forgive my selfish-ness.. forgive my irresponsible... forgive my everything... i really not ready for all this just yet.. it just that.. this job.. let me learn a lot of stuff.. i really really thank you for letting me learn so much of stuff.. and also let me see what my relative is doing now.. and i think... i hurt enough... i dun bare to see them like tat again... i know... no matter what i said.. u all will still got words to make me totally stop thinking this way.. but den.. u dun understand.. the feeling really very hurt me... what i really wanna do now is.. do my very best in my study.. study really give me a big blow.. i cannot really seperate both working stuff and study stuff.. i will bring my work feeling into my study.. and that really affect me a lot.. i not like the rest.. i maybe the worst of them all.. the problems in me... really make me very stress.. i kw.. i kw u take good care of me.. i really thank u a lot.. u being like a brother to me... give me solutions.. but den.. i think... is not the time yet.. i dun even know what to do.. is not tat i dun wan to go solve it.. is just that.. is not in my control... i can't go solve it.. coz.. is not what i can do.. i really dun wan to let u down.. but.. sorry...

haiz.. i really.. wanna break down liao.. dun feel like going home also.. home add me stress... whereas.. in school... i can be more relax.. study whatever i wanted... with a small group of fren.. that what i wanted.. just like just now.. i was so happy.. well.. with ginger.. alvin.. eddie.. cheng boon... we go study.. finish the blueprint stuff.. well.. alvin.. i think.. he gonna need a lot of help.. and i know that.. i will help him whenever i can.. i understand how alvin feel.. since i can help him.. why not do what i can?? i think.. i a little bit harsh on him just now.. but i dun think i tat harsh la.. is for his own good.. i will help him all the way...

today blueprint lesson is so boring.. i can really sleep lo.. i listen to my phone song.. coz.. the teacher keep repeat the same stuff over and over again for 1hour plus.. really listen till i du lan liao lo.. everybody was like.. *sleep*... really very boring.. even eddie.. also fall asleep.. haha..

haiz... so many stuff to do everyday.. dun really have enough time to sleep.. everyday travel like this.. i really.. very tired.. haiz..

hell man.. i wan to call for help... hope got a few more me.. like tat.. i can do everything nicely..

ARGHHHHHHH!!!! LET ME DIE LA!!!

arghhh... ytd i drunk my jolly shandy.. arghhh.. when i finish drinking.. den i found out that IT IS EXPIRED!!! wa lao eh... i wonder what will happen to me seh.. hmmm... abt 2weeks le.. it expired... arghhhh... and now... dun kw why.. i keep run toilet.. make me wanna leg soft liao la.. T.T haiz.. today whole afternoon nothing happen to me le.. but den... now... 2.08am... keep running toilet.. tummy is hurting.. T.T izzit food posioning??? arghhh.. i think.. if is food posioning.. i wun be here writing my blog liao... rite?? haha..

hmmm... when bugis today.. shop so much.. spend $120.50... haiz.. wait a miute.. it should be... $127.40... ARGHH!!! NOOOOO!!! i spend so much today... die la.. haiz.. the bus concession... so expensive.. cost me $52... haiz... bo bian also la... at least... today... let me relac.. but den.. my leg hurt.. coz i wear new shoe.. end up buy whole box of plaster... haha.. all shape and sizer seh... so cute.. lol... nvm la.. at least can let me walk whole day... i dun really like to shop.. but.. i got to buy something for school stuff ma.. haha.. a bag... well... at least i found one tat i can take... but de.. at ZINC again!!! wa liew... i found out that hoh.. this 2years.. all my bag.. AND I MEAN ALL!! all from ZINC!!! aiyo... the membership card also get till sian liao lo... haiz.. nvm!! at least i got discount today... hehehe... (*^-^*) $45.90... end up i pay $40.. abt 13% discount.. lol... extra discount for me.. oh well.. i hope this bag can stand long.. coz.. zinc bag.. i dun think can really stand long lo.. haiz... hope wun waste my money... T.T

went out with sok mui whole day.. and kw what?? she found out that hoh... a lot of ppl looking at me le... aiyo.. i dress weird meh??? why everyone look at me?? we dun kw the answer.. we dun kw why... hmmm... so... weird lo.. looking at me for what?? i very special ar?? lol... hmmm.. at bugis.. saw so many ang mo le!!! all so tall.. wa lao eh.... long time never see ppl so tall liao.. and hoh!!! got one singaporean.. SO TALL!!! abt 1 head plus taller den me le!!!! can u all believe??? i saw the girl walking behind him... so... aiyo... stand behind him macham ant like tat lo... tat guy really super tall seh!!! aiyo... long time never see so tall de people liao lo... wonder... how many more guys like tat tall de??? who knows.. lol...

well.. stand at mac after i reach yishun... stay there for 5hours plus.. till 1am plus... haiz.. father keep calling me to go home.. wanna know why?? coz i didn't bring my keys... haha.. if i never go home.. they cannot sleep... if not i cannot go home liao.. lol...

hmmmm... i dun kw why le.... it seem like... everything is so different lo.. is was like.. suddenly grow up into a totally different world.. not long ago.. i still a secondary school student... but now le.. everything is so different lo.. it was like in a totally different world.. arghhh... last time.. everything is so easy... and not stress... but now le... everything is so difficult.. so complicated... adult world... i dun dare to think... i am 17years old now... going 18 soon... and... whenever i think of what will happen in the future.. i start to scare... it start to add me stress... is not easy to be an adult... well.. a lot of stuff an adult can do... but den... adult... got so much of problem... haiz...

hmmm... i am alone... so lonely for the past 17 years.. lonely deep inside my heart... how wish there is someone that can give me warm... warm the cold ice deep inside my heart.. i started to close the gate in my heart le.. start to scare to face all the stuff.. where is the brave huiling tat i know?? when something happen... u know how to handle.. but why?? now u choose to hide... hide behind the door... and refuse to open it up?? are u afriad of the adult world out there?? well.. my answer is yes... maybe i am not ready yet..

who will have the key to open the door in my heart??? and give me warm?? give me what i dun have... give me what i wanted??? haiz... the thing i wanted is not those things tat u can find outside shop de... or money.. or what... is the feeling... the feeling of being treasure.. and love... i know that my friend had found tat feeling... but me?? haiz... not even a trace...

when other people ask me.. how many "ex" u had before... arghhh... i hate this answer... "ZERO"... tat what my answer... but den... no ppl believe me.. why they dun believe me le??? is true what.. haiz.. what i see.. is those ppl take relationship as a game.. the more u play.. the more u level.. the more gf/bf u have.. u win... i dun wan find play play de... i wan find true love de... but... true love?? exist ma??? so long as they love each other... treasure each other.. tat is true love.. izzit true?? haiz.. oh well.. i wun have the feeling of "LOVE or TREASURE".. oh man... a bf??? a guy??? haiz... nvm... even the world dun have guy... dun worry.. i wun become les.. i still a girl.. the pure blur girl tat i am always...

oh man.. why is my song... bullying me!!! why it auto play all the sad song.. T.T it making me feel so worst.. sometime... i do feel that.. everything... goes like what i feel.. sometime.. when i suddenly take my phone.. my phone will ring.. whenever i quit the game to see my msg.. a msg will come rite after i click it.. whenever i thinking of a song.. it will play it out... all like.. link to my feeling... when i am happy.. the song played is all happy.. whenever i sad.. the song all played is all sad de... arghhh... what the hell is happening??? when ever i know how to speak and know how to think.. i keep have this feeling that.. i am special.. i am very different from others.. and when i slowly grow up.. know more stuff.. this feeling getting more and more true.. who am i??? why i come to this world.. sure got one purpose de ma.. and... now.. i feel that i come is to suffer.. T.T haiz.. izzit my past life do too much sin le... tat why now so jialat... haiz...

arghhhh... everything seem so messy... haiz...


We Cannot Spell S _ C C E S S Without U..