Monday, December 29, 2014

Two years have passed, how many more to go?

 

2014 is coming to an end and it's the time when we pen down our thoughts and feelings for this past year.

Well, lots of things have happened - both good and bad. There was a change in my job scope, a new place and environment. As a result, I've made new friends and colleagues too. I could still remember how the news and rumours had surfaced months before that, and after much waiting and uncertainties, it finally happened in February. As sentimental as I usually am, I had quite a hard time transiting to a new workplace and coping with much more additional workload than I previously had. Knocking off late from work was the norm. Now, going into my 2nd year in a couple of months time, I suppose life has been better. I've begun to take things easier and manage my workload better. Still, I kinda miss being back at where I previously was..

With a blink of an eye, I've been on this job for more than 2 years. How time flies. Every now and then, I would think to myself, would I stay or move on? Well, like I've always told my friends when they asked, I'll probably look at where I land for my next posting before deciding my next step.

As for my social life, well, I've made and lost friends this past year. I suppose that's not unusual cos as they say, friends come and go; only few would stay. I used to be someone who goes all the way trying to keep whatever relationships I have whatever people, apologising for the things I don't do wrong, being at the mercy of those around me. Well, not anymore. Life is short. If those people choose to get away from me, be sensitive in every little things and get pissed even though I've apologised or not my fault, and only said hi when they need something, then goodbye. Time is too precious for me to fret over these things. What's the use of trying to mend things when I'm treated like shit again and again?

I've met with couple of my friends for some catching-up the past week. One of them is married but is having some trouble due to certain issues. Hearing his story, I could understand why friends have been telling me that it's not all rosy after you're married. I suppose, married life has its own pros and cons, as is single life. Going out with the other friend to Gardens By The Bay two days ago made me rekindled my past for a moment. A familiar place, familiar food, but with a different person. At one point, she asked asked about my previous relationship, on why I choose to go out with the person even though it was over. I got stumped for a moment. This question has been posed to me many times before. Well, half of it is because of the thinking that we could still be friends (and that we should always try to keep friendships) while the other half, admittedly is because I was still hoping. Now, I just think of how stupid I was. Sure, there are many stages of a breakup. But if I were to cease the meet-ups and communications at the start, I agree with my friend that it could have been faster to move on with my life. Especially so if you could feel that the other party are not so interested and are distancing themselves from you. But in a way, I'm also glad that this happened which have helped me grow as a person and learn on what to do and not to do in future.

As 2015 arrives, it is a step closer to my big 3. Am I getting pressured from my friends and family to settle down? Yes. Do I imagine myself meeting my other half and starting a family? Yes. Am I desperate to find her? No. Well, I think the priority for this coming year for me is to catch-up with friends whom I haven't met for some time and to go out and have fun and just let nature takes it course. But the stumbling block I foresee is that some would be busy with their own personal lives for meet-ups. And it's also a pity that there's this social perception that when there are only two persons of opposite sex going out together, it would be deemed that they are romantically involved or in some sort of relationship. Why can't they just be two friends who go out to have fun? 

But heck, we only live once. I shall do what I want to do. With this mindset, I'm hoping that I can finally get my hands on the 4-wheels which has been a lifelong dream next year! Yes, some people are questioning the rationale of buying one with the exorbitant prices these days. But like I said earlier, we only live once. I don't see the prices going very much south soon, so if not now, when?

Everything we see and experience is nothing but temporary. They will one day come to an end. Lets live and treasure the moments while we still can. The people and things around us may come and go. Even if they don't last, I'm glad that at least once in my life I've got to experience and be with them.. even for a fleeting moment.

Have a good year ahead! :)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

And the bad days continue..

 

Life is indeed unpredictable. You can be happy at one moment but then down to a low point the next, all in a single day.

Everything didnt go as planned today. And to compound that, other unexpected things have affected me.. not in a good way. I guess we can only plan. Only He knows best.

Life, can also be very complicated. One thing happened which lead to another, sometimes, not in a good way. But if you could go back in time and prevent from that thing from happening, it will not guarantee your happiness, as the thing may also be a reason why the good experience happened in the first place. Ah, if only life is much simpler. A leads to B or A leads to C, instead of A leads to B and C.

Explanations, could only be done for some people. It won't work for those who already have their minds set and choose not to listen to a single thing you say. Even if you're trying to explain or clear yourself. I'm tired. 

It sucks knowing that the happiness you sought for cannot be obtained just because certain events that happened prior to that, which was beyond your control. Why am I being punished for others' actions and feelings? Maybe I should remove myself from some things and some people. Less interactions, less despair.

Happiness, something that is sought by everyone. Sometimes though, it will choose to elude you.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Random rants

 

Damn it! I hate rude people! I hate it when people think you're so free and they expect you to do things for them fast. Come on la, I have other things to do as well. I'm not working for you only. Wait, I'm not even working for you! Everyone has their constraints, including me.

I hate it when people cut their calls or just put down the phone abruptly. So rude! If you don't want to talk to me, next time better don't call! Arghh...

I hate it also when people only treat you as a convenience. They only come to you when they got no one to talk to or got some problems. When the days are good for them, don't ever hope to hear a sound from them. Nonsense. I'm getting sick of this.

Tak guna rupa cantik kalau perangai macam siak!