And then she said hi..
Okay, I shall put away my procrastination mode for a while and spent some time updating this blog.
Firstly, Salam Aidilfitri to all! Mohon maaf zahir dan batin. Today is the second day of Syawal and I took leave. Lucky me, if not, I would have been dead tired to work and, not to mention, face the deluge of emails awaiting me once I switch on my comp after being away for one week!
This year's raya has been pretty much the same as recent years. Nothing new or fanciful. Went for two short trips to the geylang bazaar during the Ramadan month; once to breakfast with the colleagues, the other to buy my baju kurung. Hopefully will go down another time in the near future though, when my MIL treats me to cendol again! Haha.
30th July will come again tomorrow. It's been 11 years since. I've never failed to remember this date as this experience had taught me not to be too gullible and too naive of the things around me. Things may not be what they appear to be .It's also the very first time when my heart was broken. Thus, as much as it brings back painful memories, it also serves as a reminder of how cruel people can be.
Aug will be quite a busy month for me, with several appointments to attend to and many things to be done work wise. And I suppose it would get even busier every month from now on after several changes being made at work. I can only pray that I'll have the strength and will to manage and overcome the obstacles that would be thrown at me. For, even if things don't go as planned, I would like to know that I've done my very best.
I've been a little on the down side lately, mood wise. I hate it when I'm alone and nothing to do cos my mind would wander to certain territories which it should have not. Sometimes, I feel lonely. Even though there are few friends (yes, that number is actually decreasing every time) I could share stuff with, I'm probably hoping that there would be someone in my life that I could share whatever is in my mind or heart without withholding anything and/or being given any judgments. And one that I could do at any time of the day.
I won't lie but sometimes my mood worsen when I chance upon the posts made by friends be it in Instagram or FB. Nothing personal though. I'm always happy for them. Just that sometimes, I wander, if and when will my turn for my life to be happy like them? This is probably why these online platforms can be a double-edge sword if not handled properly. They can give both the information that you need and don't need. This is one reason why I'm contemplating abandoning them in the near future. So, if you discovered that I'm no longer in FB, you'll know why. I'm sorry if this would constitute me as being weak but if this is the only option out there, I would and have to do it.
Things were going pretty fine and all. And then, you just had to send that msg. I've taken a couple of steps forward after a long time but with that msg, I'm back with 10 steps backwards. I now know how true is the advice that the way to move on is to stop any form of interactions with the other party. Once you've disobeyed this, even for a short while, you're back to square one. It's like a form of addiction. Not easy to shake it off. Hearing from you is always nice, but why did you have to lure me in and then leave me in the lurch like you've always done before? What's the point of contacting me only when you're super bored or someone else is busy? I'm not and shall never be a substitute. Why oh why?
posted by AnDy AriEn at 10:06 PM
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~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all
notion of time~~
