Monday, August 26, 2013

People

 

The current place has opened my eyes to a lot of things. It has exposed me to many different kinds of people out there. From those who appear good and friendly in front of you but are actually otherwise behind you, to those who are good to you only when they require some form of help but ignore you when they don't, to those who have frequent mood swings that you'd have to make a wild guess before you approach the person. And then, there are backstabbers, and those who show their displeasure straight at your face but then there are also those who are genuinely nice and wants to be friends with you. You name it, and I could give you an example of each category. It's kinda interesting to meet these people, even though it may be taxing to deal with some of them. One thing for certain though is that through my experiences with them, I am constantly being reminded not to judge someone purely at the surface. If you're fortunate to explore him/her deep enough, you'd have a better understanding of who he/she really is. Most people just put up a facade to hide certain things which they do not want others to know or just to fit in with the social norms.

Spent the afternoon off doing some baking chocolate chip cookies from noon till 7pm. Yes, when I'm bored and I've got nothing to do, I'll bake. And yes, I took a whole 7 hrs to do the baking. What most people don't realise is that I'm using a smaller toaster oven to do my baking instead of the regular sized oven which most use for their baking. So, every time I bake, I'd spent possibly double the time than most people would. Yes, it's tiring and it's time consuming. But I still enjoy this little hobby of mine. Nothing beats the satisfied looks on the faces of my family members and those couple of treasured friends whom I've given some of the baked products to. They are priceless.

Certain unfortunate things have been happening this past week. I hope everything will be resolved by tomorrow. *prays hard*

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 8:33 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Unrequited

 

To those who don't appreciate myself being nice to them, well, it's their choice. You have made your decision and I shall stop trying hard to fight it. I'm not obligated to show this kindness anyway. I'll keep reminding myself that not everyone is the same. A single person's refusal doesn't mean the whole world feels the same way too. Every one person that refuses to accept my kindness, there will be many others who's willing to appreciate it, I'm sure.

I'm tired of being emo every now and then. Life is short, I shall not waste it any more than I already have. It's time to be happy again.

Like a friend said this morning, soon, it will slowly all disappear.

=)

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 8:45 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Upturn

 

A lot has happened this past week.

I received my confirmation few days ago, and that means a little pay rise. Ka Ching! $$

Went out with my colleagues to jalan raya the other day. Believe it or not, it's the first time in my 27 years that I went raya visiting with my friends. First time, and well, it is a good experience. Reached home a little though, at about 2am. But a great day nonetheless.

Went to watch a midnight movie last night after work. Been a while since I last caught a horror movie! Nice to see the friends' reactions at the scary parts. haha. I know I'm evil. lol. Reached home late again, at 3am and slept an hour later. I'm shagged!

Managed to complete my project yesterday. Spent almost two weeks for 1/2 of the report but took only one day to complete the other half. Procrastination at its best. lol.

The week, however, did not go without any hiccups. Fell sick on Tuesday, two days before my raya outings. The sickness got so bad that I had to apply leave from work. Thankfully, I'm getting better now, though the cough still persist. Might be due to the fast food and fizzy drinks I had for the past couple of days.

For the first time in many, many months, I felt somewhat happy again. I felt alive and the sense of calm is back with me again. Hopefully, things will go positively from now on, Insyaallah. At this point, I must thank the few silent readers who have been silently reading my updates. Thank you guys for your encouragements and trying to find ways to make me feel better. Happy anniversary to us and may we all meet again pretty soon!


I think, I'm ready.

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 2:27 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The cruel life

 

I used to think that once you've made friends with someone, you could be friends with them for life. Well, unless something major happened that can't be resolved, of course. Now, I think that's nothing but just a mere fantasy. Reality is far from this.

You may think that you're friends with someone but actually, they just treat you as mere acquaintances or someone that they have to see almost every day for certain reasons. You may be close to someone at some point of time and suddenly, things changed. You're rarely in contact out of a sudden. The worst part is there's no reason given or certain excuses said which you yourself know is hard to believe. You may be talking to them today as per normal and suddenly, they ignored and showed their displeasure at you for unknown reasons the next day.

What's the use of being nice and concerned about others if they go unappreciated? My experiences have taught me, that whatever good you've done to others, you may not get the same treatment back in return. That's how cruel life can be.

I think, i've lost hope on friendships.

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 8:24 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~

Saturday, August 10, 2013

The time spent

 

Darn, I hate relapses. It affects you and prevents you from doing the things you wanted to do.

Was surfing a forum earlier when I made a mistake of going into someone's staycation thread. Seeing all the pictures and descriptions, and not to mention the inclusion of the word "scandal", I can't help but reminisce all the times that we had together. Our aussie graduation trip. It was a short trip, but a very meaningful one nonetheless. I miss the sights and experiences that we went through together, but most importantly, I miss the company that I had. Well, actually not only that trip, but I do miss the good old times that we've spent together right here in this country too, just immersing ourselves in each other's company. If I could go back in time, I'd do anything to be in the company of my scandal, to relive the experiences again. But I know, that things don't work that way. Sigh.

I think I'm in need of a vacation to somewhere. I think that it'd do me good, both mentally and physically. Since I doubt that any of my close friends would go anywhere in the near future, I'm prepared to go alone. The only problem might be, for my family to say yes. Hmm..

I've been procrastinating enough, and I think I ought to start on my second and hopefully, final part, of my project. Wish me luck.

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 10:13 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Efforts

 

Carefully handpicked and placed into that circular tupperware, being careful not to destroy the shape and structure. Went out. Came back. The tupperware and its contents still resides in my bag.

Freshly washed, carefully folded. Brought with the purest of intentions to help fight the cold. Went out. Came back. It was barely used.

These are some of the instances where I start to question myself, is it all worth it? Why do some people often misunderstood my intentions? The gamble to skip a certain event that could potentially affect my future, has it come to nought? My efforts.. do people appreciate them? I've been making people around me a priority, but will any of them make me theirs? Why do some people forget, that I have feelings too? That I am prone to being hurt, just like anyone else.

It's already a sick feeling to not being able to celebrate raya with my family on the first day. But now, to be deprived of whatever happy feeling there is left, that's cruel. Maybe it's becoming a trend. I've been hit by bad news for the past two hari raya festivals. And now this.

FML.

That familiar smile. Which I know is no longer reserved for me now. I wish I hadn't noticed it.

 

 

posted by AnDy AriEn at 9:00 PM 0 comments ~~Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time~~