Monday, December 31, 2012

When people change..

 

Finn: Will you tell me what you're so upset about?

Rachel:  I'd rather not.

Finn: Were you crying about me?

Rachel: I wasn't crying about you.

Finn: Oh. It's about him, isn't it? Brody? I-I just didn't think you'd move on that fast.

Rachel: You don't know that.

Finn: I know you. I know you have four different kinds of crying. You've got the fake crying when you want something, which always involves a tissue, you've got the singing crying, which this can't be, the disappointed crying, which involves sobbing, and the crying over a guy, which I know very well because it used to be reserved for me.


One of the sad moments from Glee - Season 4 Episode 6.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Relapse

 

Sometimes, I just hate how things ended abruptly. I asked myself, why, why, why? Why must it end this way so suddenly, without any warning?

I bumped into couples when I go to work, from work and everywhere. Most of my friends are starting to get attached, engaged or married. Yes, I'm happy for them. But questions did not escape my mind. Why must my fate be like this? What have I done wrong? What did I do to deserve this?

Sometimes I envy those who can share their problems with their family freely. At the very least, there will be listening ears they can turn to. I've never showed my weak side in front of my family. Most of the time, I just smiled it off when they asked questions. In their eyes, I'm just a naturally happy person who is satisfied with what I have. In fact, I'm just a weak person who hides behind this facade cos I just don't want them to worry. But sometimes, bottling up your problems is tough. Sigh.

I used to bid goodbyes with a happy feeling each time. But ever since the fateful day, I always depart with an empty feeling.


After some time, I shed some precious tears again, today.

:'(

Monday, December 24, 2012

If only I had listened..

 

Tomorrow is the second appointment with the dentist. After the first one last Friday, I could only hope for the best on what she has to say. Her advice could very well set me back up to 2k. Oh well, I guess that's the price I have to pay for not listening to her a year ago. It's not only the money that's worrying me but also the time that I would have to spend recuperating after that. Not to mention, what would happen if things didn't go as planned. But then again, it's all right. My body wasn't perfect to begin with. And people say it's these imperfections that makes one unique.


I know that, for you, probably nothing I say or do will make us return to how we were before. But I'm someone who always believes in miracles. And as a friend told me last week, "Don't worry. One day, everything will fall into place."

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dreams that never come true

 

Just woke up from a bittersweet dream. Sweet because I dreamt that we were back to our old "terrible" selves. Bitter because I woke up to realise it's all just a dream. Needless to say, I woke up with a heavy heart. The bad thing about such dreams is that they appear all so real, even the touch, but a second later, you'll wake up and realise it's nothing but a dream. And that sucks.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

A perfect day

 



A perfect day. What is your definition of a perfect day? For me, it’s a day when you get to spend your whole day doing fun things and just spend the time with someone close to you. I just had that perfect day on Thursday.

The planning took place about a week back. Had to think about the different available activities, which are preferably something that we have not done before, but which we think would be fun to do. It’s not easy to plan for outings. For instance, there will always be a place which you intend to go but later found out that the place will be unavailable for a private event etc. After some brainstorming and discussion, we finally settled on two main activities: picnic and ice-skating.

I could not remember when I had my last picnic, be it with family or friends. So, to say that I lack experience in picnics, not to mention planning them, would not be too far off. Nevertheless, there was always Google and friends that you can rely on. Phew.

I think one of the most challenging part of planning for a picnic is deciding on the suitable foods and how much to bring to the picnic place. After making a list of the different foods, I had it trimmed down based on practicality and convenience. I think some people may have thought that’s it is crazy to plan for a picnic during this erratic rainy season. But I beg to differ. I feel that if you have the time now, just do it. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow or the day after. Of course, we have contingency plans, which I feel is essential in any sort of planning.

A few days before Thursday, I decided to bake something for the picnic. After much help from Mr Google, I decided to make mini cheesecakes. The ingredients were relatively easy to find. The equipments though were not. I had to go to many different places to try and get the suitable baking pan. Sadly, once I thought that I have bought the right one, it turned out to be too big for my small toaster oven when I tried to place it once I reached home. In the end, I ended up using silicon moulds. Talking about the oven, it’s also a challenge during baking. All the recipes will indicate the required temperature to bake the food in and for how long. This would be easy in a normal conventional oven. But for this small toaster oven, I can only set the duration of the baking. So, it’s more of a trial and error and pure observations. Fortunately, my first attempt in baking mini cheesecakes turned out well. I made two different types: OREO and cherry mini cheesecakes. For a baker or a cook, nothing is more satisfying than your tasters giving you positive and honest opinion on the food you have just made. I made another batch the day after for the picnic, to ensure freshness.

On the day, I woke up a few hours earlier to boil some hotdogs and fishballs for the picnic. Then, went over to Khatib to pick the car up at about 10am, went home to fetch my stuffs (a total of 7 bags!) and then off to Northpoint to buy the rest of the food such as sandwiches and sushi, and drinks. Drove over to Serangoon and picked her up at about noon. Then, we went to Streats Hong Kong Cafe at City Square Mall to have our lunch. One of the staff there still remembered us after so long. What a good memory. At this point of time, we noticed that it started to rain (oh no!). Nevertheless, I still drove over to the intended destination: Singapore Botanic Gardens. Brought out all our stuffs and walked around trying to find a suitable sheltered place for our picnic. After some distance and pouring of the rain, we finally found a nice place called the Bandstand. 

Laid out the mat and then we began strumming string instruments; she with her ukulele and I with my guitar. After many years, I’m still a newbie, having the ability to play only a single chord confidently. She, on the other hand, plays her instrument like a professional despite having only gotten her ukulele a few weeks back. I have nothing but admiration for her skills. The singing accompanying the strumming sounds very nice too, as a stranger could attest. After a while of playing, we started to indulge on the food we brought. Continued strumming after that, took some pictures here and there, and just spend the rest of the afternoon having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

Time flies when you’re having fun. Before we know it, evening had come and it was an indication that sadly, it was time to pack up and move on to the next part of our planned activity – ice skating! We walked all the way back to the carpark, drove to Kallang and reached more than an hour later. We could have reached much faster if not for the rain and traffic jam. The only other time I was skating on the ice was when I was still studying in the polytechnic. So, not surprisingly, I was quite apprehensive of how well I would skate, and how many falls I would take. Fortunately, I had zero falls and was able to skate comfortably on the ice. I guess my experience in in-line skating previously does help a little. We skated for about an hour or so with some near-falls on her part, and some picture taking here and there. One word – FUN!

Later, we drove over to one of the ECP carparks and continued for a while the strumming of our instruments. Heh. We departed around 11 plus to Serangoon. Dropped her off at her house, with a little heavy heart on my part I must say, and drove back to Sembawang. Reached home at around 1am.
For some people, a good day is when you get to do interesting and fun things, or the things you always like or wanted to do. For others, it’s just spending valuable time with people dear to you. On Thursday, I’m glad and thankful to have both. It was a perfect day, for me.

A list on itinerary, what to bring, do and make.


Ingredients for the mini cheesecakes

The finished products

Maps all screenshot and saved in photo album. But we still got lost on the way to kallang though. Sorry!

Our ride for the day

Nice place
Big vs Small

Food

Grey jeans

All smiles after a fun day =)




 To You,

Thank you for giving me the chance to plan this day for us. I always thought it’s cool to have a picnic out on the grass and under the sun. Yes, it rained and no sun was seen on that day. Nevertheless, I still had so much fun doing things together with you. Your ukulele playing was awesome, while your singing was literally, music to the ears. Indeed, they probably lighten up the mood on that part of the gardens. I'm sorry if any part of the day did not meet your expectations. Thank you for the great company on that day. I had so much fun. And I really hope the same goes for you too.

:)