I'm down with fever and flu.

And I still have one more paper left tomorrow.

I shall not talk about today's paper.

And please let me at least complete tomorrow's paper first before you viruses further attack me! Please!

As of now, I've gone more than 24 hours without sleep. My oh my, I really need a rest soon...

It's been a long day.

My day was spent at SNEC and SGH. Me and family accompanied mum to the national eye care centre to have her cataract eye surgery. Although it's a minor surgery which took less than an hour and that I should be in the midst of preparing for exams, I decided to take the day off to accompany her with the rest of the family, cos she's my mother after all. After all the waiting, the operation was successfully carried out before 3pm. And after another round of waiting, she was then wheeled to SGH to be admitted for the day. Went home around dinner time so that she can have her rest and so as not to disturb the other patient in the room. She'll be back home tomorrow.

That's all. Just a quick update. Alhamdulilah that her operation had gone smoothly. I hope, wish, pray for a quick recovery! All right, I shall turn in now. It's been a tiring day. I shall start my revision tomorrow. Take care!

Looking at my surroundings, looking at the people around me, a lot of things went through my mind wherever I went to earlier in the day. Some set me thinking, while others made me recollect my memories. Some gave me answers, while others left me questions. By the end of the day, my mind is feeling pretty exhausted from all the inner self talking. The question is: what is happening? Am I going crazy?

I learnt new things today.

Steps to take during disagreement or when you 'want out':

1) Learn to make your stand
2) Gather enough courage to have a conversation with the other party
3) Try to make the other party understand and make them feel how it would be like if they were in your shoes.

Where did I get all these? From eavesdropping total strangers' conversation during my way back in the train earlier. And I think it makes sense. Go ponder.

I'm tired and in need of rest. Bye!

Phew! Finally I can have a sigh of relief. Just finished another 3-tests-in-2-days today! The last 2 were manageable but the first one was kinda disastrous. After two straight tests of such difficulty, I'm starting to fear the prospect of failing and having to repeat the module. But, whatever. I've already done my best and that's what that matters the most. Whatever the result is, whether I'm cut out to be studying in this field, is secondary. But I'm very very tired. Have not been sleeping well the past week. Been falling asleep during studying, and studying when I should be sleeping. I know that sounds kinda contradictory and I could have just switch the two events at their appropriate times and everything would have gone well. The thing is, I'm losing control of my body, or specifically, how tired I am. Often, I would doze off while reading my notes in the night, especially if my lecture ends at 6pm that day. I would then woke up in the wee hours before transferring myself to the real bed. On average, I had only 1-2 hours of sleeping time for the past week! And that shows how pathetic my life has become. Seriously, I can't wait for this semester to end for it has been a very tiring one...

That being said, I had my much needed respite last Sunday though when I joined my fellow brothers and sisters in their team bonding session cum Don's farewell at JB! Yes, even though my dad lives there, it's been quite a while since I last crossed the border and stepped into the state. Met up with the guys near station where we were to board a bus (yes, chartered bus!) for our journey towards Tuas Checkpoint. That day was the first time I used my recently made biometric passport and admittedly, I was kinda 'sua-ku'.. but it's kinda cool lah to use your fingerprints to pass through the immigrations though it feels abit like doing your own 'live-id'.. hahaa! Unbelievably, after passing trough, we actually got a tour guide for the day! And the first stop was shopping at Jusco (I forgot which branch was it.. lol) where some of us did some shopping. I did not buy anything though, cos I didn't see anything that I fancy and the whole shopping centre kinda looked like a replica of Vivo city on the inside. One good thing though, was the people there. There was this promoter at the supermarket and she was kinda cute and looked a bit like Joanne Peh!! So nice was she that me and my friend were like so melted (maybe this term is inappropriate but that's how it feels like) after our encounter. Unfortunately, she wasn't there anymore when we went back to the supermarket to buy more things. No fate i guess.. hahaha! After shopping, we went to Senibong restaurant to have our seafood dinner, all paid courtesy of the team's MFE fund! Had a good meal, where I drank almost 3/4 of the tom yam soup meant for the table, and a chatting session too! Went back after that but not before memorable moments in the bus where there were entertaining dedication of songs as well as a touching speech by Don. Reached home kinda late due to some problems at Tuas Checkpoint, but thanks to Haikal, I managed to get home around midnight. Washed up, check my mails and turned in as I have 8am lesson the next day (read: no revision done that day). But I guess the time spent away from studying was worth it. It's been a while since I've been in their company and to say that I missed them would be an understatement. It's kinda sad to see Don leave the team though because when you mention Team Alpha, few people will come to mind, and he is one of them. Nonetheless, I wish him all the best in his new department! And as we say, 'Once an Alphian, always an Alphian'! It was a fabulous day and one that I would not forget for more reasons than one. Video and pictures taken on that day by Endang can be viewed in Facebook.


On the school front, I think I'm developing a bad reputation, although I'm not too sure what bad things I have exactly done. How else could you explain the steady decline of interaction with my peers (outside my normal group of friends) even though I'm becoming more open? I wish someone could tell me where I have gone wrong so that I can can correct it. So, unless that happens, I would still continue to behave the same way and do the same things I always do for that's what makes the person I am today. I wish things were much simpler though, where people would appreciate the things I do without any hint of suspicion towards me or my actions. Maybe it's the age gap, maybe it's the different mentality. But one thing for sure, even though I'm no saint, I've grown up to do things, to help others because I want to rather than have any other intentions. Even though sometimes it goes unappreciated, satisfaction coming from knowing that your actions does, or potentially does, have a positive impact on the other party. And that has kept me going to do the things I always do. But after all that has been said, if people still can't believe or trust my actions, then I guess I shall just have to live with it. I can't change them, can't change the way they think. They may have their own mindset and I have mine. We live every day doing the things we believe is right. If they think that avoiding me is the right thing to do, then by all means it's up to them. They live their lives, I live mine.

Can't believe the update is closed to 1K words. If only I can write this long each time, be it virtually or for my school work...

Labels: Enjoyment, thoughts