Me, Myself and I..: February 2007

Random Rants

You blardy, stinking, horrendous bitch! Do you get a kick out of talking and stabbing behind people's back? BASKET!! You appeared kind and helpful but behind us, you're just another bitch who instigates other people to do bad things. Blardy two-headed snake!!

Yesterday night, after work, me and my colleagues went out to chill. Firstly, we went to West Coast Park. Then after some time, we headed to Vivo City. We reached Vivo at about 11.30p.m! hahaa.. Had some talk-cock session and some pouring of problems, which was the main aim for the night, while enjoying the starry(not) sky and the bright moon at the roof-top. But after an hour or so, we got chased out by the security guards. So we left. -__- One of my colleagues sent us home one by one and I was the last one to be 'chauffered' back. Reached home almost 2a.m!! After the neccessary washing up, I fall flat on the bed. Though it was a tiring day, I truly enjoy night!

It's back to work again later in the evening. Sian~

Sayonara~

My mind is overloaded with past events and memories. Is it time to discard some of them?

The sky seems to be darkening

My OC asked me, "Fandi, are you really a pure malay or a mix-blood?" Apparently, according to him, when a malay blushed, it would not show that clearly on his face unlike other races. But when I blushed, my whole face would turn so red until it is so obvious! Hmm, now I know why people would tease me on things most of the times. -__- And I think this is a disadvantage for me too coz whatever I do, I would not be able to hide my feelings when I blushed. Darn! hahaha.. Oh, by the way, after checking with my family, I can double confirm that I am a real pure malay.. lol

During this first month in my division, I discovered that there are 2 different types of person-in-custody. First group are those unremoseful ones, those that don't give a damn that they are arrested. And they include those repeat offenders who prefer the lock-up than the fresh air outside.

The next group are those first time offenders who are very regretful of what they did. Out of the two, I guess the latter deserves more 'respect' from people. Recently, I saw this girl PIC and she cried all the way to court. The look on her face tells you she's really remorseful of what she've done.

To me, it's not the end even if you're convicted as long as you've learnt your lesson and not to repeat the same mistake. But of course, prevention is always better than cure. I hope I won't be seeing you, whoever is reading this, when I'm at work, be it in my lock-up or at the sub-court.

Recent events in my life has made me realise that our time here in this world isn't that long. Therefore, we need to treasure every moment of our life. Failing which, we may regret them in the near future. That's what I do not hope to experience when I leave this world -- feeling regretful for not doing something I wanted to do. Living my life to the fullest each day and doing what I desire most is what I'll try to do from now on.

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Recently, someone told me a thing abt myself and it kinda shocked me. Well, it's not really abt the contents but more on the fact that the same thing has been told to me before by someone else that it's starting to make me believe this whole matter will eventually turn out to be a cold-hard truth. It's a depressing thing to find out that I'm slowly leaving the 'normal group' of people coz things are happening inexplicably at a faster rate than usual. When those around me started to show their concern towards me, I can't escape from worrying too. I begin to wonder, "What happens if the light to my life switches off too soon?"

The sky seems to be darkening.. every second..

Stress

So Stress man!

My work is getting more and more stressful as days go by. Shitzz!! Do me a favour peeps! Pls don't call my hotline if you wanna complain abt stuffs or can't get through to the person you want to talk to. Just wait a while and call him back later! That would make my life a lot more peaceful and easier. haha. I can't wait for my the change in my deployment! lolx

Sometimes I don't understand why people like to bully me. When I mean bully, I don't mean the physical type. It's more of like they putting words into my mouth! Just because I would normally just deny and smile off after being confronted(maybe it's also coz of my innocent face? lolx), people are like taking the advantage to bully me!! Darn, I really must do something about it! hahaaa...

Oh btw, HaPpY LuNaR NeW YeAr to all those celebrating it! Gong Xi Fa Cai! Xin Nian Kuai Le! Wan Shi Ru Yi!! =D

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Wait a min! Since when I like to potong jalan people? As far as I'm aware, I've never done that in my life before! If I did, then please explain why I'm still single my whole life!? lol.. Instead, more often than not, I think I'm actually the victim when it comes to this kinda thing. hahaha. *laughing off my misery*

Procrastination

Work for the past couple of tours have been pretty okay, though on some days the workload can be pretty heavy. I'm learning something new as each day goes by and that's a positive thing.

Went back to my Marsiling home yesterday to do some painting to my room after my night shift. Slept there for about an hour or two before starting my work. With so many things to shift here and there by myself, I managed to complete painting my whole room after 3 hours of work. Not bad huh.

I realised I've been procrastinating quite a lot for the past few years of my life and I think I need to reduce all these delays if I want to succeed. More often than not, I would procrastinate until an opportunity is lost, and later regret it. Maybe it has to do with my personality but procrastination is definitely one big weakness of mine and I need to correct it. Easier said than done though.

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In a nutshell, loving someone is about giving, not receiving.

Memories

Oh my, what a super tiring day. So many messages to attend to, so many things to SD in, so many incidents to be filed... until my hand-over time was delayed. I guess the NPCOs must have been tired too coz there was an influx of messages today until almost all resources got engaged. But it was a good experience, in a sense that I get to "see" some interesting cases I've never came across before.. hehe

Singapore is so small isn't it? Just today alone, I got to know that my division has 2 school mates of mine; one from primary, the other from secondary school. And the primary schoolmate was actually sitting beside me and working with me today until we realised that we're from the school! As for the secondary mate, well, I didn't have any clue that my name was that well-known then. Coz he was 2 years my senior and I was shocked when he says, "Who don't know you. Everyone knows your name!" *speechless* -____-

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I don't know who still reads this blog but if you are, whatever problems you have in the future, please please don't have any suicidal thoughts in your mind. No matter how hard it is, I'm sure there's a way to solve it. Life is very precious, please do not end it just like that. If you don't think about yourself, think about those around you. Your parents who have painstakingly brought you up, and your other loved ones. And if there's no one else to turn to, there's still me. I'm always ready to be your listening ear.

And just so you know, I won't forgive you if you choose to end your life the coward way. Period.

I hate today

I just simply hate today. I'm actually astounded at my many mistakes, which I'm making one after another as the day goes by. I'm not really worried at how these mistakes could affect me, but more on how they have affected others. Sometimes I really hate myself for some of my mistakes have caused much incovenience to others. I really do not wish for other people to be negatively affected by what I did. Why should they get into trouble just because of me?

Occasionally, when I look around, I realised other people can/might do a better job than me and it makes me wonder, "Am I worthy enough to wear these two pieces of cloth on my shoulders?"

Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope...

Me, Myself and I..

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Random Rants

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sayonara~

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The sky seems to be darkening

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Stress

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Procrastination

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Memories

Thursday, February 01, 2007

I hate today

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