Me, Myself and I..: August 2006

The man who walked from CCK to Esplanade

Wah, what an interesting day yesterday! haha.. Went out with A FRIEND.. Waited for him at Esplanade, near the river as planned. I was late but he's worse. After waiting for about 15 mins, he finally arrived. And guess why he's late? Coz he walked from Choa Chu Kang all the way to the Esplanade!!! Wtf!! haha. I don't think I've got that kind of stamina and endurance. Even walking from City Hall Mrt to Esplanade has tired me. Oops. =X

Anyway, stayed by the river for a while to catch the sunset view(which is almost non-existent) and the evening scenery of the high skyscrapers. Saw a lot of couples there cuddling and smooching by the river. Damn it! -_- After that, visited the library there. Being there for the first time, I was quite amazed at how different this library is as compared to those at other parts of the island. Very cool! Maybe next time when I'm studying again, I should go there for a cozy place to revise my work. hehe.

After that, we went to have our dinner at KFC at Marina Square then walked over to Raffles City's Swatch shop since MS don't have one. But why are we going to a Swatch shop? Coz my dear FRIEND wanted to buy a watch for someone. hoho. Fortunately, though we were kinda late when we arrived, the shop haven't closed and the watch that he wanted to buy was there too. So, within a couple of minutes in the outlet, he bought the watch which cost nearly 1.5 x 100 bucks. haha. Looking at the other watches in the shop, i realised that I haven't fulfilled one of the items in my wishlist yet, which is to buy myself a swatch watch! Damn, I should start saving! lolx.

So, after buying, we went over to the Concierge, to have it wrapped for free. Cool! Then, my FRIEND suddenly thought of giving that present to that someone yesterday night itself. So, we walked all the way from Raffles City to Bugis where she's working. While walking, we keep talking nonsense about how the scenario will be like later and I keep teasing him what if that someone rejected the present. *so evil*. hahaha. So, after reaching Bugis Junction, we went to find a pen to write something on the card. While writing, the song 'Here Without You' aired over at that place. How nice! And it definitely fit the situation then. wahahaha.

And so, it was the moment of truth! He was going to hand over the present! hohoho. He went into the shop, 'pretending' to buy something from there. The girl, suprised in seeing him, then went to get that something for him. AFter discussing with her boss, she gave that something to him for FREE! Wah, how nice!! haha. And a few seconds later, my FRIEND took out the present and gave her!! She's quite shocked I think. Damn, I should have recorded the whole thing. Reminds me of that time in Melbourne when someone recorded my giving flowers to someone. lolx -_- Anyway, when we were leaving, I managed to have a glance again at the store. I could see her colleagues started to approach her, maybe to tease her. wahahaha. We took the MRT to go home after that.

Anyway, I think the whole thing was damn interesting and funny. There were more details but I didn't type it down to protect the privacy and identity of my FRIEND. haha. But yeah, it was a great day!! LOL

Here's a couple of pics taken at the Esplanade. Like tourists sia. -_-

K, till next post, Ciao!

P.S.: I was forced to keep the identity of my friend a secret. Hence, no name was being mentioned there. But even so, I think a couple of you who are reading this might already know who is that FRIEND I'm referring to. Oops, I already did my best to conceal your identity leh. hahahaha.

Suicide

What happens if one day you're awaken to a phone call informing you that your best friend had just passed away. What's more, the nature of the death is self-inflicted or what you called, suicide. It would a shocking and devastating news I guess and one experience which I hoped would never occur to me.

I'm writing this topic because yesterday night, when I was about to go to sleep, I chanced upon this thread started by a member of the KT forum. Apparently, she had just lost a good friend of hers via the suicide method. As I read on the replies the other members gave and the counter-replies she gave, I got a rough picture of what happened on that fateful day. And the story was so sad, it almost reduced me to tears.

What is more upsetting is that this member was just chatting with him(the friend) just an hour or so before he went away. Yeah, she was chatting with him that night and he was showing no signs of what he's going to do whatsoever. Then, he said he wanted to go sleep. Little did she or anyone else knew that the sleep would be eternal. That he would never wake up from his sleep again. The ironic thing is that he's the one who has been telling this KT member not to entertain any thoughts of suicides. But in the end, it seems he didn't practice what he preached.

Although nobody knew why he chose the path, it seems that most people blamed his girlfriend for causing his death. And naturally, this member blamed herself too for not being a good buddy and not spotting the signs on him. I've not experience anything like this before, but if I were in her shoes, I think I would be feeling as guilty as her too. Not spotting the depressing signs on him, not being able to help your best friend. And he's gone, just like that. Without saying any departing words, without saying goodbyes. It's such a tragedy. sigh.

Anyway, you can view his friendster's account recently set-up by that KT member here. Even reading through the testimonials is sad enough.=( To Herng Jye, though I may not know you, hope your're resting in peace bro!

On a personal note, as said earlier, I do hope I do not need to go through the same painful experience as the forumer. I personally feel ending one's life is both a brave and coward thing to do. It's really an irony. On one side, you're brave to cut off your life, to end your sufferings, and making yourself unable to live any bright future you might have. But on the other side, it's really a coward and selfish thing to do. Why? Because you might think ending your life will solve all problems. But it definitely will not! Coz you will leave behind tears, sadness and sometimes guilt among your loved ones. And what about your parents? They've painstakingly raised you up since you're born and the next minute, they've to bury you. That's the most disheartening thing a parent could get.

Admittedly, I've suicidal thoughts especially a few years ago, when my depressing state was at its highest. But those thoughts about my parents, leaving behind greaving loved ones etc, had prevented me from committing such a selfish act and hence I'm still well alive today. And I hope to continue to be.

So to all those reading this post, please cherish all those loved ones around you. If they appear to be in any kind of problem, please try to talk to them and help them if you can. You wouldn't know what they might be thinking and sometimes even if you could only give your listening ear, it may help them to pull away from the cliff edge.

And to those of you who might have problems or entertaining thoughts of ending your life, please have a talk to those who are close to you or even me! There's not a problem which can't be solved. Even if you can't solve it by yourself, we could still work out a solution together. And remember, although suicide is a brave thing to do, it's also a selfish one.

That's it for this post. Please talk to me if you're having troubles. Please don't make me feel guilty and punish me like the KT member. Tata and take care~!

Cherish your loved ones, cherish your life!

Slack is the word.. but the date is looming!

Have been pretty 'busy' preparing for my coming enlistment in 2 weeks time. I'm still not really sure on what to bring and what not to bring. So many conflicting info from Mindef, HTA and internet forums. Argghhhh, why can't they just make an official 'what-to-bring-list' so that we no need to guess or assume?! And 2 more weeks before enlistment also means I got that same amount of time to spend/enjoy as a civilian life. Sigh, time is really running out. Certain decisions definitely have to be made really soon. haiz.

Anyway, I worked again yesterday! Not the same kind of work like last time, but yeah, I worked again!! hahaa.. ANd you know what? The work was super slack!! hoho.. When we report at 9, we waited for a while before the 'boss' told us, to our amusement, to go for our breakfast first at the staff cafeteria at the top of the building. Boy, the food at SPH was bloody cheap! A bowl of lontong coz only $1!! Shiok man!! hahaa.. So, after some time at the cafeteria, we got a call from our boss to report back. Then we did some packing of the goodie bags(for the Business Times seminar that was going to be held later) for about half an hour or so and guess what? She told us we could go for our lunch break!! We've been suprised again!! hahaa

So, me and Zhiting went out to the coffeeshop nearby to get something to eat. After the 'lunch', we head back to the SPH reception/lobby to wait for the boss' call. Then, when the boss called us, we did some moving of things, and later me and Zhiting were asked to do some ushering for the customers who are arriving, while the other colleagues were doing registration. And my job was damn slack man! I was practically standing at the lobby there doing nothing for about an hour!! lolx..

Then after our ushering duties, we reported back to the boss outside the auditorium(where the seminar was being held). Since it would take about a couple of hours for the seminar to finish, we all 'nua' and stare at each other for that same amount of time!!! hahaa... Oh, the most shiok part came at the end of the seminar. After most of the guests and customers have left, we get to feast on the refreshments!! WoOoOhoOo~! There were noodles, shrimps, tadoori chickens, pasteries and many more!! Wah, like heaven!! haha.. And you know what, while I was having my 2nd Serving, the other colleagues suddenly has some work to do. So, feeling paiseh, I tried to help out while still holding my plate of food on one hand. But I was stopped by one the bosses from Canon. She said, "Never mind about the work. You go and eat finish first." Wow, is that good or what!! lolx..

So, after eating and packing of all the stuffs for Canon, it was the end of the day and work! haha.. Then, we followed our boss to her desk where she gave our pay, on the spot. That's great, considering some companies took damn long to give temp workers their pay. In all, I think we spent about 2-3 hours doing work while the other 5-6 hours slacking and nua-ing!!! Easy job, easy life! And still received a free water-bottle some more!! wahahahaha

Oh ya, thanks btw to Zhiting for introducing me to this 'lobang'!! It's so 'great' a job!!! haha.. And take care of your throat ya! Hope the fruit punch has help to punch away all the viruses! hahaha =P

P.S.: There's this funny thing that happened during the work. Me and Zhiting kept 'arguing' over who is right about 'it'. Not going to say what is it about. Coz I don't think it's nice to say it here.. keke =P

Trust

Damn! I have to be careful with my words these days. Now, things I said to some people are easily relayed to others. Okay, if it's normal-stuff matters, then fine, I don't mind you telling other people about it. But the thing is, those are not normal things. And by telling another person about it(doesn't matter if the person are whom we are talking about or not), you wouldn't know if that 3rd person will feel bad or be sensitive to it. Come on la, even if I don't tell you not to tell the other person specifically, you bloody hell should be more sensible and keep certain things to yourself. Crap.

I just feel I don't have anyone to talk to or share secrets anymore. Trustworthy people around me now are almost non-existent. I just don't have the ability to trust anyone anymore. But never mind, I still have myslf to talk to. Not so bad, isn't it? After all, when we came to this world and we die, we do those things.. alone.

My time is nearly up. It's time for me to start bidding goodbyes...

My experience of Wisdom Teeth Extraction

Finally got some time and energy to blog. So here I am to update about my wisdom teeth surgery.

Went to the clinic at exactly the appointment time of 1130am on Monday but there was a patient currently undergoing surgery also, so had to wait for about 30 mins. When I went into the room later, I told my dentist that I want to take out all 3 of my wisdoms when she asked. She asked me to sit down on that big chair and jab my gums with local anesthetics for about 3 times under the same bottom tooth. She asked me to wait outside and later eat some medicines which includes some painkillers and the total amounts of pills/capsules which I consumed was about 12-14!! Wow, nvr in my life have I ate that much of medicine at one go!

After a while, I went back in the room again, and she jab me at the same gums for another 3-4 shots!!! Ouch! Then the doc went to jab at the top gums for a couple of times before plucking the upper wisdom out. This happened quite fast and it took approximately a couple of minutes only.
For the bottom tooth, before the doc operated on it, she had to call my mother first to get consent, coz i'm still underage! haha..

So it was the bottom teeth now, the left first. First, the doc cut the gums coz I can see a knife going inside my mouth the first thing. lol. Then later they drilled it to several pieces. There's not much pain because of the numbness, but WoW, I tell you, the sound of the drill was terrifying!! It almost hurt my ear and I keep imagining how it would feels like if the anesthetic suddenly wears off at that time. I'm so timid huh. haha. So, after some drilling and pulling, the doc finally managed to get out all the pieces from my mouth. Phew. Then it was my bottom-right tooth's turn. Like the left one, she jab me for 6 shots or so and while waiting for the anesthetic to take effect, she sewed back my left gums. Can feel the thread going in and out man! hahaa.. After that, they began the surgery for my right tooth. The procedure was the same as my bottom-left.

For the first few hours after the op, blood was flowing damn rapidly. Biting on the gauze does help a little though. Rested on bed for most of the time yesterday. And medicine time is a constant chore. I just hate the bitterness!! EwWww~!~! Today, when I woke up, I decided to take out my gauze and to my surprise, I noticed my face has swelled up so much!! But despite that, did I mention that I've lost 1kg within a day? Yah, coz I practically didn't eat anything yesterday. Today also I juz ate some soups. I try to delay in eating solid foods coz scared the food will get trapped at the extracted sites. Haiz, but whenever I smell great food, I would feel damn hungry. I'm so ke lian. haha.

The stitches will be removed next week. Hopefully by then, the extraction sites would have healed considerably with no infections. Coz I can't wait to munch on good food!! ArgGghHh~!~! Very bored these two days. Most of the time have been resting and resting. And the 5 days of MC which I got also was kind useless. lol.

Anyway, I've taken two pics of my wisdom teeth. You can view them at the links below. Didn't just place the pic here coz scared some people will find it gross. Hence, before u click on the links, please be warned! -_-

The upper wisdom tooth which is the only one that came out in one piece->
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v731/andyarien/DSCI0013edit.jpg

All the wisdoms ->

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v731/andyarien/DSCI0002.jpg

Pray for me

Oh no!!! It's now only less than 24 hours away from surgery!!! Starting to get nervous already. Shit man!!! AhhhhhH!!!!!!! hahaaa... If you're reading this, please help to pray for me to have a smooth surgery and fast recovery okie! Thanks! =D

Gd luck to my operation tomorrow!!! ^_^

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Yesterday night, I dreamt of you again. No doubt it was a wonderful dream. But everytime I dreamt of you, I would be waking up with a heartache. Coz nothing else hurts more than realising that what you've just experienced is a mere dream, nothing close to reality. haiz. Why do I keep dreaming of you this few days? Am I missing you that badly?

SFF - Team France

Just came back from a second session of fireworks viewing for the year! Yeah, went to watch the SFF - Team France display. The display put out by the team was marvellous and equally as stunning as Team Singapore's display. And in my opinion, it's more better than last year's display put out by them. Yeah, so there were many people as usual. This time though, after the fireworks, spectators can't dash or cross on the road between the Esplanade and Marina Square coz the police put up some barricades there. haha. So, if you were at the Esplanade side there, you'll be stuck for a while like a can of sardines there. Luckily I was at my usual Marina Square side there. hehe.

Though there were freaking lots of people on the way back, causing human jams everywhere, it was worth it for me. Coz, besides the fantastic fireworks, there were alot of..... haha, you know what I mean. Lucky nvr had a heart attack. kekeke. Anyway, I didn't take photos juz now, juz a video of almost the whole thing. I'll see whether I got time to upload it anot.

Oh ya, on the way home, at Ang Mo Kio MRT, while waiting for the train to arrive, I manage to capture this with my phone.

Ya, those were the feets of inconsiderate commuters who do not know how to follow instructions! I know this has been happening everyday, everytime. But each time I saw this kind of thing, I keep asking myself, "Wtf!? Are they blind or wat?" I'm not angry because they never queue up like every other people do or what. It's just that why can't they just adhere to simple procedures like making way for outgoing passengers by not hogging at the place you're not supposed to! Hello, if you were the one going out of the MRT and other people doing the hogging in front of the door, would you have like it? Obviously no, right! I can't help but just stare at them whenever these things happens.

Besides that incidents, there's a couple more 'events' that happened during the journey home. One of which was a conflict between two parents, each with their children, about giving up seats. Argue and argue until I could hear them even when I was with my earphones that time. Another was a girl accidentally stepped onto a lady's feet when the MRT jerked. The lady scream damn loud sia!! And surprisingly, neither the kid nor her mother who is beside her offer an apology to the lady. How rude eh! But of course, the reaction by the lady was a little exagerated too! haha.. Oh my, what an eventful ride home on the MRT. -_-

Will it be another boring day later(sunday)? I wanna enjoy before my fateful day on Monday!! Arrgghhh..... sian!!!

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I wished You were there beside me to catch the beautiful fireworks together. haiz.

You

I do not know what's wrong with me. Despite all those things you've said to me, despite all the insensitive remarks you've told me, I'm still very much falling for you. Throughout the couple of years I've known you, there were some notable incidents that disappointed me. But after a while, things would be back as they originally were, and my admiration for you would stay the same, if not stronger. Maybe it's true, that love is blind. And what made me write this post is because I had a dream of you yesterday night. Needless to say, it was a great one.

The date has been set. Everything shall come out on this Monday, 14th August!

SFF 2006(Team Singapore) with Vid and Pic!!

Just got back a couple of hours ago from Marina after watching the fireworks! WoOohOoo~! Last year, I went to the one by the French Team. Today, I went to watch the local team instead. And it was superb man!! A great thing to cap of my day!! Yeah!

Watched this time at an open space outside of Marina Square. There were quite a lot of people but not too packed. When I reached there, I saw some people already seated down and 'chop' some of the best places. Wow, typical kiasu Singaporean.. hahaa.. After waited and waited for some time, and more and more people started to stream in, the fireworks started at 9pm sharp! There were cheers all around at the start, during and at the end. What a spectacular view, I must say. And boy, the closeness and loud sounds just make them more splendid! There were many different kinds of fireworks that were put to display, such as the singing fireworks(yeah, they really sing!!! haha) and those blooming-flower types. And you know what? At the end of the fireworks, almost everyone broke into applause(clap clap)!! That shows how fantastic the fireworks are!!!

After the display ended, there was a rare sight at the space between Marina Square and Esplanade. There were freaking loads of people, and for a moment it looks like those worker ants flooding the place. lolx. People was crossing the road like nobody business sia.. and there's this group of people got horned and scolding from a motoris who had to jam break to avoid hitting them.. hah.. what a rare sight!

Anyway, here are the video and pics taken just now..

As usual, for slow connection peeps, pause the video until it's fully loaded before you play it. If you can't view it, view it from the main site here.

Aren't they juz fabulous?!? Hehe.. Still considering on whether to watch the remaining 2(Team New Caledonia & Team France) fireworks anot.. HmMmm...

Oh anyway, since it's past 12 midnight as I write this, I wanna wish all Singaporeans a HaPpY NaTioNaL Day!!! HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!! I just ~~hate~~ love my country!! hahaha... Eagerly waiting to watch the NDP on tv later in the evening!!! hehee =P

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Went around few shopping malls juz now in the afternoon before the fireworks, looking for something for a fren. I think I'm weird. Why? Coz I would readily buy something, which sometimes seems expensive due to my financial status, when it is for someone else. But if that thing is for my own use, then I would think twice or ten times before buying it. Weird isn't it? Maybe I need to be more selfish!! hahaha... Oh anyway, I hadn't buy the thing for my fren yet. Just receeing the prices only.. lolx

Depressing Life

Why has these few days been so depressing for me? Argghhh!!!

When to visit the dentist today, after about 8 YEARS, at (Q&M)Sun Plaza. Initial thought was to do some checking up of my teeth and some cleaning up. But a few minutes onto the patient's chair(whatver you called that) the dentist commented about my wisdom teeth. And she asked me to go for an x-ray! So I dutifully went and took the x-ray. (I will talked about my wisdom teeth later). After the x-ray, the dentist proceeded with some cleaning(scaling & polishing) of my teeth. Some blood oozed out, as expected. Wah, long time nvr get such a sight. =X The process isn't long, and I think it took only abt 10-15 mins. So the total cost, including the X-ray, came up to 95 bucks! The last time I went to a dentist, the cost was like what, $0?!? Oh ya, that's the primary school dentist. haha.

Okay, so about the wisdom teeth. The doc says my wisdom teeth have to be extracted. Well, I've been quite expecting that since my upper one is not growing correctly. But to my horror, she told me not 1, not 2 but 3 of my wisdom teeth needs to be taken out!!! 2 at the bottom and 1 on top! I was like super damn shocked! She told me if I didn't extract out soon, then they will affect my neighbouring teeths, which already have shown some decaying. Anyway, I'm still considering lah, more about the cost than the pain.. Coz each bottom tooth would coz $380 while the top one is around $50-$80!!! That would amount to around $800++!!!!! Wah seh, where am I going to get the money man!!!! Haiz...

Anyway, MeiFeng has departed from Singapore to Europe!! Wahh, so shiok! Can live in Europe, and specifically Norway, for 4 months plus!! This reminds me of my Melbourne trip! Though my stay there was relatively shorter, I still missed the place! haiz.. Anyway, at the eleventh hour, intended to visit her at the departure hall... but but then, something cropped up.. sigh.. No worries, hopefully can meet her when she's back in December! Hope she enjoys herself there though! Take care dear!

I almost got ~~killed~~ knocked down by a cab juz now as I was returning from my morning jog. It was a close shave man! If I wasn't lucky, I don't think I'll be here to write this post. -_- Thank god! I guess when your mind is elsewhere and not focussing, things tend to happen..

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I'm feeling so fucked-up and full of regrets these few days. I'm especially angry at my indecisiveness, among other things. I've said before that I will try to change but it seems that I'm a stubborn person. But I guess after this latest episode of my life, I've told myself that I seriously ought to change! Coz the latest consequences of my indecisiveness has affected me pretty bad and cost me to feel so so much regret. haiz.

So as of this day, I, Fandi, swear will try to change my personality and in particular, be more decisive. Failing which, if I ever shows any recurring signs of my indecisiveness, I urge those who are with me at that time to slap/pinch/beat(but not too hard-_-) me. And I'm very serious about it! Please 'do' the reminders as a favour for me. Thank you.

[Edited] Love matters again

Spoke to an ex-classmate yesterday night. Gotten to know quite a bit of stories (of other people) from her. And some of them are kinda, erm, shocking! -_- Divorce, triangular love thingy are just some of the shocking situations that are currently happening. And I seriously never thought those things would be associated with those involved individuals.

Being an outsider, I guess the only thing we could do is to lend our listening ears and give general advices. Coz ultimately we wouldn't know the real situations, no matter how detailed the stories have been told. Only those involved would really know. Love is such a complicated matter and even if I were to give advices, I think people would stop and maybe doubt me, after realising my life-long status. lolx

On another note, after hearing all those relationship problems, there's one conclusion I can make. There's still joy in being single. ^_^

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Argghhh!! I wanna go out and enjoy!! More & More!! b4 I become government property!!!!!hahaa..

I'm so freaking bored these days. Somebody pls date me out!!! lolx

Depressed

I feel discombobulated. Life is nothing but a mist of repugnant lies of hopes and dreams that may never ever come true. I wish I was free, from truth and lies, laws and rules, all made to control and contain. I don't want to be part of this scheme. It feels like an asylum. I want, to live as I dreamed, to dream as I lived. I don't want to feel trapped anymore. Maybe this day would come. Maybe it would, some day...

Sigh.

All about the "4-letter word"

How do you know if someone has a crush on you?

You tell them some silly ideas and no matter how silly they(the ideas) are, they'll get back at you and tell you that those ideas 'really' work for them and actually THANK you! hah

Whenever I passed by the Eunos MRT, I always think back and laugh at myself for I actually went to learn driving in that area just because of someone. It happened again today as I passes the station. Oh my, how foolish was I back then! ^_^

With regards to another matter, I think I'm falling deeper into this love shit. Oh ya, I forgot. It always happen to me. lol. Shitzz!!!

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Arrgghhhh, time is running out for me! Better make up my mind!!!

Me, Myself and I..

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The man who walked from CCK to Esplanade

Monday, August 28, 2006

Suicide

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Slack is the word.. but the date is looming!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Trust

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My experience of Wisdom Teeth Extraction

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Pray for me

SFF - Team France

Thursday, August 10, 2006

You

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

SFF 2006(Team Singapore) with Vid and Pic!!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Depressing Life

Saturday, August 05, 2006

[Edited] Love matters again

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Depressed

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

All about the "4-letter word"

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