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Eileen L.♥Being stronger makes you beautiful
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Friday, February 17, 2012
Nolstagia Sigh really feel like going for the B'girls Westzone Finals tmr, but guess time does not permit :( Looking at those Redsports photos really make me miss Jurong girls, with our cool basketball jersey, sanjiao, long socks and kneepads (we don't wash them for months!)! I guess it's hard to find those feelings and the fighting spirit we once had, like we have to slog and fight like crazy mentally and physically even though sometimes we feel like we can die, haha, literally. Guess seeing those photos make me miss that spirit we once had.    (these are the few photos I could grab off facebook!) Guess our different paths in life, different time schedules and different time schedules all made us drift apart. But I'm really appreciative for all of you being there, making volleyball trainings bearable, being a big part of my secondary school life. Maybe some of us still keep in contact, maybe some of us don't. I miss those periods where we will always, always, always hang out even if we have nothing better to do, those days at random houses, especially siewy's! & those crazy balling sessions. We had our little squabbles, our little dislikes at times, but I guess our team/batch was a relatively peaceful one! We are kind of lazy, but we knew we had to fight for it. We might not have the best skills among the batches, but like how Ms Ong said, we managed (with our fighting spirit) to "roll and crawl" into top 4 Nationals. I guess it was pretty hard to cope with our team, like we had very high frequencies of ups and downs! Sigh, if we only had the chance and the time, I would just want all of us to play volleyball together again! Idk how you all feel, but I guess it's still the best playing with you girls! :) Guess it's not easy for us all to be back again, but I'm really thankful for all of you, and those memories were one of my most heartwrenching ones, but one of the most memorable and important ones :) <3  Yes, and I am thankful for them too! :) Somehow they are just my happypills! Kind of feel bad not spending much time with them, but I'm always thankful for how they are always there! Makes my day just spending some time talking rubbish with them and waiting with them! Love you all <3 Wednesday, February 15, 2012
To stay together.  CNY's over, and my exams are just round the corner! Long time since we went over to my maternal side for CNY dinner, but it was pretty nice, seeing faces I haven't seen for a very long time! & I was quite happy my dad was always at home during CNY. Somehow I might have just taken somethings for granted, but I will try my best to spend more time with him and come home earlier at night before he goes to work! :)  Sigh, I guess so many things happened during this period, but hope all is well! I guess during busy periods, I tend to be further away from my friends, feel so :/ at times. There's only so much time, and there's only so much of me. But I really hope they will be happy and also be able to work hard for what they want :) I'm going to try to plan my time so that I'll be able to meet up with everyone! Can't wait for exams to be over! :) Just miss the homely feeling, be it with my secondary school friends/poly friends! But I'll try my best to be there for whatever situations, be it in small things/big things, because I don't want to take things for granted :) Can't wait for exams to be over yoooooooooooooooooooo! I guess I'll just try my best for this exam, and not have too much expectations. Going to finish my accounting question in 1 hour and go for a nap, goodbye! :) Thursday, January 26, 2012
Mundane Thursday.  Feeling so tired now, I need my afternoon nap soon! After the long CNY holidays, we're back to school, and there can be nothing worst than this :( Can't wait to dive again soon, and go to places with sun, sea and sand! :( On the bright side, I hope I'll be able to meet the awesumzxzx on Saturday evening, and also to meet Shanghai peeps on Monday before our dear zhiye goes into army! Certainly hope to see you all soon, and certainly hope to finish studying, and certainly hope to do well for tmr's assignment. Heh, that's all for now, Goodbye! :) Saturday, January 21, 2012
Work on it  Durian party was awesummmm, and I smell totally of durian! :( But the catchup was really good :) Sigh the random days where you think a lot, where you might just feel lousy because of this reason or that reason or maybe you don't even know? Haha, I remembered that morning when I was on the bus to school, and I thought of a question I have never thought of and I kind of don't know what kind of conclusion should I have? Interesting, mind-boggling question about the what ifs. But oh well shall just try my best, so shall not give so much thought about it, let's just hope nothing stumbles, and I should pretty much make sure of it. I can't remember when was the last time I felt like this, but I think I should get used to it, I somewhat think it's really for the better, and it's a lot more reasonable. Haha, been thinking a lot, and I'll need some time to get used to it. It's not like I'm trying to build up something negative, but I believe it's for the better good, some negatives will bring up the better and more positive good :) I kind of need a lot of time to myself, need to think about what I really want, about what I'm going to do, about what I want to put efforts in. In the midst of chasing the bigger picture, I might have lost myself, or stopped trying to improve within. But I'm not going to let myself feel this way, I'm not going to go downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. I'll work on a lot of things, and you'll watch me. Let's just see how it turns out to be, for the good (hopefully). Maybe at this point in time, there are likely lesser considerations but we might not be able to know what is right, what is true, what is there to give, and how can we handle things, but I know that being sincere is very important. Sigh, really hope I can go away for awhile. Actually maybe I won't mind going over to my grandparents' home in Malaysia, but oh well, it will be boring and I have too much work to do! *pulls hairrrrr* Just need to get a breather soon. Somehow the past is flooding into my head too, but I guess they are things that are gone, for a long, long, long time. I guess there are times when we've all done things in a blunder, not knowing what's right and wrong. But all that's left, is left, and we can only try our best and keep our hopes high, and work hard so that there won't be blunders anymore. Oh well. But I'll sleep on it, and tmr will be a better day, so Goodnight! :) I'll be starting anew, and I am still thankful :) Thursday, January 19, 2012
A New Beginning This blog is so deadddddd, I doubt anyone still reads blogger! Wanted to post from very long ago, but it's like second term is a lot more tiring and packed, and I have graded assignments almost every week :( and exams are one month away :( Sigh, I need better discipline, sometimes it's not easy to balance, and I really feel like catching up with everyone! Shall put my holidays to good use! Even though it's 2 weeks or even lesser. I can't really remember from very long ago but I'll try my best! Genting trip with 4/5 peeps! It was really nice meeting up with all of you, and I might not have even seen you all for the past 2 years, but it's just really nice how we all can still catch up, talk rubbish and have fun together :) We should try somewhere else next time, and I'm glad everyone enjoyed the trip, except for "Grave Encounters". Justin should definitely have better movies in his laptop, hehe! Thank you for making a Genting trip (which can be totally boring) into something so enjoyable, definitely miss all of you and your company :)       Awesomezxzx people! :) Guess as time gets busy, it's so hard to catch up with everyone. There has been so many changes, but I hope eventually everyone's happy moving on with life :) Thank you all for being there, thank you for the random meet ups :) & the peeps who are always meet up with us whenever they are back in Singapore! Can't wait for the hols, but some of them will already have went into Army, but I still hope I'll still be able to catch up with everyone! <3 Thankful that after so long, we are still in contact :)   Bro & gang! I can't remember when was the last time I took photos with you, & I can't find it! But still, really miss my bro a lot :( I remember the times where we will go out and chill and talk about things, but guess as times get busy we tend to meet lesser. I guess it's a long time ago, but I'm still thankful because of all the care and concern you gave as a good bro-friend :) But I'm still happy to meet for supper on weekends when you're out! With pw and clemmy! :) Thank you for being there, & I really hope to see you soon! :) <3 My lovely and crazy and totally rubbish classmates! ^^ Sigh, who I am now, it's all because of them. I was never so full of rubbish! Haha! But I'm still very thankful for them, because of them, I could really adapt to my poly life, much much better :) I remembered the horrible days when I first entered Poly, so oh well, you can say their craziness makes my days so much better! :) They're always there, and I'm really thankful :)))) *I just realized we haven't took group photos for a very long time!!!  Can you believe we camwhored while we were repairing our laptops at the IT helpdesk?! HAHA  Gorillazxzxzxzx Idk if it's still called this way?! Haha, but nonetheless I am still thankful for them being part of my poly life, and the random meetups! :) Guess I haven't had the time to catchup with them, but it's always fun to hang out together :) Hope to meet up with them sooooonnn! Hopefully not on a weekend! :) & I feel like playing ball together during leisure training soooonnnn!    & my bestfriend! :) <3 [sigh all the other good friends and best friends, please just let him claim the title, if not he'll cry HAHA] Thanks for always being there, and being understanding too :) It's nice how we can talk about anything under the sun, and we'll work hard on things yo! >:)  Volleyball teams Sigh, it's so hard to get together to play ball again with Jurong girls! Seeing the Jurong trgs, really make me miss Jurong girls a lot, even though trainings were mad tiring physically and mentally :( so many work and commitments, but I'll be happy if I can go for trgs to play with them again, even if it's leisurely. Hopefully Satuday trgs work out, and hope I'll be able to clear my work! :) Thanks to the captain for always trying to work, & I won't want to take this for granted. Miss all of you :)  Ngee Ann teammmmmm! Haha, decided to quit playing volleyball in Poly, guess I've tried my best but sigh, just can't get there! & assignments are reallllllyyyy horrible. I feel bad leaving but I guess I have more important priorities and commitments, but I'm nonetheless happy to be able to train hard with them, and to meet good friends there :) Even though it's very different from secondary school, the trg style, the environment, etc, but I'm still thankful for the chance to play ball :)  Haha, can't find a better team picture cause Idk where is it!  BS Group! Redang, diving, random meetups was really awesomee :) & of course there are others, but I can't find the pictures! Sigh, guess it's harder to meet up with people who don't stay around my area, but nonetheless when we have fun, it's always nice and homely :) & it's always fun and upbuilding activities! Other than BS, we spend quality time together on activities like - wavehouse, diving, travel trips, kinect, random gatherings etc, and I always enjoyed myself :) Always there, always encouraging :))))    My family! Sometimes my family's kind of happy and close, but sometimes when my mummy's :/ it's kind of irritating, but we'll work on it :) Yeah, need to work on my irritating temper too! :( & my sister yo! Thanks for the gifts, haha you can go back and stay in Europe for good, thanks! Kiddinggggg! Thankful for her being there when we feel upset, when my mummy's gg crazy and when we gossip! xoxo    & very thankful to those individual persons who have always been there, the little acts of care and concern really meant a lot to me :) I hope you all will be happy, and we'll all be happy! :) Always a *listening ear* :) Finally did up my 2011/2012 post! & I hope I've remembered everything! :) But people in my life really have been awesum, and I too want them to be happy :) Going for my durian party soon, hiakhiakhiak, have a good weekend ahead! :D *PS: Going to plan for my holidays soooooonnnn! :D Sunday, October 30, 2011
Tougher Than You Know Sometimes I wonder if I can live on passion alone, without all other things that are essential to make things work. I always contradict myself, and it's always the toughest decisions when it's not made. I know I'll be relieved if I made that decision and to send that text, but we always have the "what ifs". It's only 2 weeks since school started & I feel like I have so many things to work hard for. I really want to do well in many many many aspects, but it's not always easy. I'm just trying to find enough time for everything and everyone, and I guess as you have more commitments, it's harder to find enough time for yourself. Sometimes I wonder if it's really good this way, like, when did I ever give so much considerations, and is it really worth it? But if it all turns into nothing, I won't think it's my loss, at least I gave it my best. Not an easy decision, because I know if I try hard enough for it, it will definitely work out. Tougher than usual, and it's a little upsetting to give it up. No matter how hard I try to fit everything in nicely, I think I'll at least screw up a little during busy periods. Sometimes I'll think that I'm better w/o this, w/o that, but it doesn't usually work this way. Oh well, disheartened and a little upset, but I think it's better this way, to just let it go. But I'll definitely miss that feeling/environment where I can push myself and better myself, and that feeling when you are able to do it well. I guess this might be one of the last chances to ever be in that situation again, but oh well. It's hard to understand and I don't really know how to go about it, but I'll try harder for other things (even though it might be way different) to feel the void. So, move on. Saturday, October 1, 2011
Heartfelt Appreciation It's been so long since I've blogged here, but I just felt light-hearted and enthusiastic enough to blog about my days :) It's the last day of my part-time job and I'm happpyyyyy! :) Actually the past few weeks have passed by fast, like I'm just busy every week, and sometimes it's hard to sit down to get a good rest and think about things. Finally, left with 2 weeks of holidays before my hectic school terms starts again, and once again I hope I'd be able to work hard, right from the start :) I guess making some decisions are hard, and during the process it seems so uncertain and contradicting that you feel like you will just go with the flow. But after making them you might actually be happy that you've done it, like finally :) So now I guess I have much more time to pursue things that I want, and hopefully set a good routine. Of course there may be endless numerous things that might make me so busy, but I'll try to set my priorities right :) This week has been pretty nice, even though it was tiring going from here to there, returning home late, I guess it was worth the effort to spend time together :) We always take things for granted, and when we don't spend time thinking about them, usually they just go unnoticed. It's very heartwarming for people who does not need to actually even speak to you, to take a personal interest in you, to get to know you better, to actually care for you and whatever you are facing, and it's really very encouraging :) It's like a big family, the people you want to keep for life :) I guess there may be faults, conflicts, misunderstandings or whatever as it always does happens between humans. But to say the truth, seeing it as long-term relationships with others will actually help you to really be humble and just take it as it goes, like unselfish, agape love, with no ulterior motive. Yeah, it's always easy to say, but hard to do. But I'm really very thankful for those who have put in effort in helping in whatever areas they could, always being there, and they will be, most of the time :) It's like people you can trust and turn to/fall back no matter how trying your circumstances are. Maybe there will be some misconceptions, failings, etc, but sometimes if we look at the good as a whole, they are really much, much, much more than what's negative. & the time and effort people fork out for one another just makes me :') I'm actually very glad that it's very different, it serves as a very good comparison for me to be clear-headed about issues :) Going to sleep now, cause I have 2 tuitions tmr, one with a very nice girl who's taking poly entrance exams, and another is a little brat (thinking about him makes me feel like I should faint on my way to his house, HAHA THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS) Goodnight :)  |
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