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First off, I’ve always considered myself something of a simpleton. I tend to not ask questions. Or I have questions only after its several hours too late to have them answered. I see things clearly and simply. I get a feel for what is told to me and base my opinion shortly thereafter. People come to me with questions and I can say things so matter-of-factly that I’m hardly ever contested on it. My family has picked up on this and therefore I have to defend myself a lot when I’m around them. But mostly when I speak, I do so with how I understand things to be. So for what I’m about to say, take it for what its worth to you.

Secondly, I wish to express that I rarely talk about what I’m going to talk about on a blog, Facebook, Twitter or any social media for that matter. I’m not one who spouts off that Obama sucks, that gas prices are devil’s play or even that I’m Mormon: I live it, I love it. Not to down those who do, it’s just not my style. The last political thing I did on FB was share the red equal sign the XX posted with the caption “Love is love,” which is one of the subjects I want to talk about today.

Thirdly, the opinions I will share very soon, I promise, were formed after several months of contemplation. I choose to write about it now because I cannot take it any longer. I have had many meaningful discussions with friends and family about these subjects and I wish to not hurt or target anyone, therefore every instance shared will be done with only common nouns. Okay, I think I’m ready to divulge.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, LDS, or Mormon. I was raised LDS my entire life. I was raised by wonderful parents who instilled the importance of family, religion, love and Christ. I have served in the church my entire life and can count on one hand how many times I have missed Sunday service. Before I used to take the church for granted, but I know I can no longer do that and remain a good, strong, enduring Latter-day Saint. There are a few hot-button issues in the U.S. right now that have torn people left and right, especially those of my faith. In fact, such topics have caused many of my faith to leave the church or they have become extremely skeptical of this religion.

One issue is marriage equality. I have many friends who have left for this reason alone. While I still side with the church, I strongly believe that there is and should be a separation of church and state. That is how I live my life. Socially, I am fairly liberal. I think that denying homosexuals to get married is denying citizens of this country their basic civil rights. By not allowing gay people to get married, we are hurting people and breaking families apart. Did you know that when a gay couple adopts a child, only one of them can adopt the kid? That means when the legal guardian is unable to pick up his/her child from school or take them to the hospital, his/her partner cannot act in the guardian’s stead. It is not right. Gay couples should be allowed to marry so that instances like that do not occur.

Now for those of you who are against gay marriage, here is what I have to say. So you think that its just one step closer to Sodom and Gomorrah? I think you might be misinterpreting the doctrine here—just like when many people think that Satan’s plan was to take our agency by forcing us to do good. Doesn’t it make more sense that he would have allowed us to do whatever we wanted and take away the consequence? After all, that’s kinda how he plays the game today. Similarly, maybe the reason why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed was because everyone was a nymphomaniac, not because they were gay. Just saying. Another point anti-gay people bring up is that gay people are super promiscuous. Hmm…any more than heterosexual people? I don’t think so. There are too many single pregnant women on the earth for that to be true.

Another issue, especially in the church right now, is feminism. I think that on the whole, every man, woman, and child is feminist to an extent, and I am all for changing some policies in the church. For instance, I do think that a member of the Young Women’s presidency should be present when a young woman and bishop are meeting, granted that there is a member of the Young Men’s presidency present when a young man and bishop are meeting as well. That’s just the world in which we live today. I don’t think it’s too far off to require a member of a stake Relief Society presidency to be present at a disciplinary counsel when involving a woman.  And for goodness sake, of course women should be allowed to pray at General Conference. I’m so glad that they finally fixed that one, it was long since due.

But I do not think women should hold the priesthood. First off, I find it hard to understand why any woman who has been through the temple thinks that they do not hold the priesthood already. That is a major, fundamental concept of the endowment. I feel so strong as a woman in the LDS faith. To quote the opening lines in the Relief Society motto (which organization, by the way, is the oldest women’s organization in the world): “We are beloved spirit daughters of Heavenly Father and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.” How can you feel powerless when you consider those words? Now, if policies were to change on that, I would take them as they unfold. But as it stands, I feel complete and content as a woman in the church.

These and other issues have led me to what I really wish to talk about. My heart is heavy. When I came to the realization that people who were once strong, good, faithful members of the church are now dropping like flies, I was shaken. These are people who went to my first endowment session in the temple, they have borne their testimonies over the pulpit, served full missions for the church. Their spirits and examples have carried me through rough times and part of my testimony was once supplanted by theirs. These same people are leaving the church because of the issues mentioned previously, or because they say they’ve never really felt the spirit, or because they do not agree with every principle of the church. Some still consider themselves members, but are just too lazy to go to church and do what they know they should be doing.

A couple of months ago, a friend asked me why I stayed in the church. She also asked me if I had been born in another religion, would I have sought out the LDS church. When she asked me this, I was not fully prepared to answer. I told her that I would have either become agnostic, or I would have stayed in the religion in which I was brought up to keep things friendly with my family. But mostly, how could I honestly know how to answer that question? After some thought, I would like to be the kind of person that would seek out the church, just like how I want to believe that I would have stayed awake if it had been me in the apostle’s shoes while Christ suffered Gethsemane. But chances are I would’ve slept just like the apostles. The fact is that I was born into the LDS faith and I am grateful for that every single day.

This same friend feels that almost every religion has truth and something valuable to hold. They each provide their members with stability and who are we to ask them to change to the LDS faith? After some thought, I beg to differ.  Mormonism offers much more than any one organization can provide. In the LDS church we learn about history, music, math, how to speak in public, we learn how to socialize, how to balance our lives, and so much more. This is a unique organization that spreads to so many different aspects of life. Furthermore, we learn about Christ. He loved everyone. However, he didn’t say keep on keepin’ on, its all good. No, he told us to repent and follow him. He lead by example to be baptized, to love our neighbor, to not judge others. Christ changed the gospel while he was on the earth. He changed the law of Moses. Sacrifice turned to Sacrament, an eye for an eye turned to forgive everyone, and love your neighbor, hate your enemy turned to love everyone. Asking those who practice different religions to change and turn to Christ is not being judgmental or “holier than though”. Its asking the same thing Christ asks us to do—repent and come unto Him.

Most of my LDS friends are very smart, smarter than me in many regards. They read and ponder and search. They discuss and then read some more. While I think this is awesome, and that they should never stop asking questions, I also think that Satan knows them very well. He knows where he can get them, tempt them, put thoughts into their minds that drag them away from God.

“O the cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men [and women]! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not…But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsel of God.”

When I first heard about friends that have truly left the church, I was angry. I knew that they were leaving for what I felt petty reasons. I mean, what happened to enduring to the end?! But after some time, my feelings moved from anger to sadness. How could these beautiful spirit sons and daughters of God leave the gospel for what seems to be such menial things? I understand that people feel things deeper than I do, that issues wedge into their brains that they cannot shake, just like how I know I feel music deeper than the average person. However, when I see my religion as plainly and simply as I do, the dismissal of the church in their lives is nonsensical.

Here is how I see my religion.

I cannot know anything for certain in this life. I have faith. More importantly, I believe I have faith. My favorite scripture is Mosiah 4:9-10:

“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourself before God…and now, if you believe these things, see that ye do them.”

That’s it. Just believe. Have faith. And don’t think all of your questions will be addressed any time soon. The Lord works on a different timetable. My mother, a wise woman, once told me to take my questions to the Lord and then tell him that they are the shelf and that he can answer them at any time. I literally imagine myself putting these thoughts into a book and placing them on the shelf. Then, hours, days, weeks, years later they get answered. For instance, all of this controversy and loss of faith has helped me determine what kind of Mormon I was. And for the longest time, I felt pretty stagnant in the church. But this whole experience has helped me realize that I do love God, I believe in his existence and his church, which I believe to be the LDS church.

I believe this church is far from perfect. I know that a lot of church history and past policies are sketchy. There are bad people in the church and things that don’t seem quite correct. But from what I do believe more assuredly, I cannot leave this gospel. I have felt its confirming spirit too many times to deny it. And what’s more, for the first time in years, I am not ashamed of it “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth.”

And for those who have experienced a loss of faith, or worse, never felt they had a confirmation of the spirit, I ask you to KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Don’t over complicate things any more than they already are. God’s standard media is simple, small, and almost insignificant. Impressions, feelings, road blocks, no blocks, dreams, yeses and no’s are all ways the Lord communicates to us. Sometimes the answers come through other people. Whatever way the Lord communicates, I can testify that he does communicate. But if you are so busy thinking about getting the answer, why haven’t you received it yet, aren’t you good enough, you should have received it by now—you have probably already missed it. Be still. Keep it simple. Just believe. Testify of what you do believe, even if it seems stupid or insignificant. And the answer will come. The faith, the belief, the revelation will come. “And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”

Of this, and more, I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.