In Which I Go On a Very Long, Nerdy Tangent Concerning Sharks

Weeks after I promised you a post about sharks, I've finally decided to hunker down and write it. For those of you who know me, this may be a dull post, considering that sharks are about one out of five topics that I frequently ventilate. However, there is a great need to discuss this issue as well.

Many have a great fear for sharks, and while their fear isn't unreasonable--I mean, just look at those teeth--

it is, well, unreasonable. On average, there are four deaths from shark attacks a year. Let's add some perspective to that. You have greater chances of dying from heart disease, car collisions, suicide, chairs, and toasters, than you do from a shark.

And I know what you're thinking. "But it's the fact that it could happen. You never know, and they are just frightening! I mean, look at those teeth!" I get it. You're scared. But that is not the issue that I want to discuss. We're allowed to have our unwarranted fears (mine is cows. They just freak me out, OK?).

What I want to talk about is the need we have for sharks in this world. They are probably one of the most essential species in the ocean. And considering that the ocean takes up 70 percent of the world's mass, I'd say they're pretty important.

You see, sharks are the police officers of the ocean. They are definitely not the favorite, but they regulate smaller fish and keep everything in balance. The ecosystem of the ocean is in a precarious place because sharks are being killed faster than they can reproduce.

Most sharks don't reach sexual maturity until they are about 10 years old, and many times they are killed before they ever reach that age. At the same time, ones that do reach sexual maturity are often hunted down--for bachelor parties and thrill seekers. Yep. While fishing for great whites is considered illegal in the U.S. and most of the world, and this law is actually kept fairly well, other species are not as lucky.

Off the coast of Florida, Mark the Shark takes tourist deep-sea fishing for the soul purpose of catching a big 'un. They most commonly catch hammerhead sharks (many of which are on the endangered species list and illegal to hunt in the U.S.--and yes, there are different types of hammerheads). They like to get the largest they can find, which means the females, most of which are pregnant. 

Hammerheads mostly deliver about two dozen pups per litter. Imagine now Mark and some dude-bros fishing off of Key West and catching a ginormous, pregnant hammerhead. Yes, it is sad. 

Conversely, many shark fishing competitions--yes, there are shark fishing competitions--are now moving towards catch and release methods. They measure their wins and then let them go. Some even bring scientists along to document on various findings, or help them tag the sharks for research.

The U.S. has been the leading country to protect sharks. America, South Africa, and Australia are the vanguards when it comes to regulating the seas to protect the sharks. (One of the rare moments we can be proud Americans.) Unfortunately, most of the countries that are guilty of using shark meat and fins don't have, nor abide by any laws. This is a two-part problem.

The first is that there are many laws that actually do limit the number of fins vs the amount of actual sharks fishing boats are allowed to carry. Typically they want to see a more balanced amount of bodies-to-fins on the boats. Unfortunately, the laws are hopelessly confusing and many loopholes exist, meaning that serious shark finners can kill as much as they want.

The second is that though there is a rise of people getting bothered about this whole shark finning business, politicians stay neutral on the issue. World-wide summits pass hundreds of bills to protect fluffy pandas and majestic elephants, but when asked about sharks, it's always "maybe next year."

There are even PSA's to help raise awareness of the issue, but many of them are highly emotional, which is definitely the wrong tactic to play for those who don't really care, or are just plain hard to get through because of the style of the ad. (Many consist of finishing each other's sentences...blegh.)

So I've clearly stated that it sucks to kill sharks, but haven't really focused on why. Let me enlighten you. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I read a book called Demon Fish: Travels Through the Hidden World of Sharks. In it, Juliet Eilperin talks about the human culture of sharks: our irrational fear of them, civilizations that worship them, our fascination of them, and our "need" to eat them.

About 100 million sharks are killed each year. This is not a joke, nor an exaggeration. Sharks that used to be plentiful are now killed at a rate so fast that there are many species that don't stand a chance of survival. 

Take, for example, the oceanic white tip shark. They used to be a very common type of shark, but now they are just about gone. Which is too bad. Just look how beautiful (yes beautiful) they are:

Asian countries use the fins for their shark's fin soup. European nations eat the meat, often hiding the true identity of the shark by calling it dogfish. Neither nation has met up with this concept and millions of sharks are finned and then tossed back into the ocean to drown.

As I mentioned before, sharks are very important to the ocean's ecosystem. In Demon Fish, you learn that many think of the ocean as a pyramid, with few predators on top that regulate the masses. However, studies have shown that ecosystems are an inverted pyramid. Larger populations of predatory animals pick out the weaklings and help control the midsize predators.

The example the book gives is when the wolves were taken out of Yellowstone National Park, new Willow and Aspen trees stopped growing. However, when wolves were reintroduced to the park, new trees popped up.

With wolves back in the mix, elk couldn't graze year-round, wherever they wanted. Also, mountain lions and bears stuck closer to their territories, even going out of their way to avoid the wolves. Sharks do the same thing. And with no regulation to how much humans can kill, we are in deep trouble.

Many scientist have calculated what would happen if sharks were taken out of the equation and have found that there would be a rise of seabirds, turtles, and seals, thereby decreasing the tuna and jack populations--fish that we also consume in high quantities.

Ms. Eilperin says "Just as we are conducting an uncontrolled experiment on the earth by emitting an unprecedented amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, we are altering the sea with the same sense of abandon, by yanking out...a relatively stable force in ocean ecosystems over evolutionary time."

So now what? You're aware of the problem, what do you do with this information? Tell people. Nothing is yet more powerful than old-fashioned word of mouth. You can also tell your congressmen to protect state and federal laws concerning the issue.

Oh, and maybe next time you can't walk into the ocean for fear of attack, think of this: 

Oh, and my favorite shark, you may ask? The goblin shark: Weird as cuss and cussing crazy-awesome.

Just Some Stuff I Like

Very shortly I will be writing about one of my favorite subjects, sharks, cause of this book that I'm reading. So look forward to that. Until then I thought I'd post songs that I really like based off of what I have bookmarked in my Pandora station. I'm big into music, as you well know, therefore you may think that I'd really get into Spotify or another music sharing site like that. Nay, friend. I love Pandora cause I like listening to a certain genre at a time, and I'm not a huge fan of creating playlists. Sometimes I feel inspired to put a good mix together, but it's not something that comes naturally. It would take hours on Spotify to come up the sort of song mix that I get on Pandora. Instead, I fine-tune my Pandora stations till every single song is exactly what I want to hear. I've got about five that I'm really proud of, and will continue to work on more. The songs I've bookmarked and absolutely love come from all sorts of genres and decades. It's a bit all over the place. But hopefully you'll enjoy them.

I mean, why did it take me so long to realize how awesome gospel music is?

Yes its dubstep. Don't judge.

I think I like this and only this live version better than any version.

I don't know why I like this song so much, I'm not much of a female singer-songwriter fan, but there's something about her voice that I really like. Maybe its that she's not trying to sound like someone else.

Pretty.

Ha! How's that contrast for you! Here's the original.

That's all for now. Unless you wanna check out Milo Greene. They are my absolute favorite right now.

Let Me Get My Geek On

If you've paid attention to any of my previous posts (hopefully you have), you have most likely noticed two things: I LOVE the Olympics and I am a sucker for badass chicks. So it should come as no surprise when I say I am in love with women's soccer, specifically the US Women's National Team. This last Olympics, which I am still thinking about, I discovered women's soccer. I am a huge, gung-ho American patriot when it comes to international sports. Go USA, win ALL the medals, etc. The two Olympic weeks last August was spent primarily on the couch watching 'Merica kick global ass. But I didn't really watch the soccer matches until I heard about this incident against Columbia:

Don't worry. They still won. But that piqued my curiosity. What is this? A chick who not only got punched in the face and kept playing, but helped win the game? This I gotta see. So I watched the next match thinking I would be able to do some chores around the house, write a few emails and complete various sundry items while checking back on the match. Nope. My butt was glued to the couch the entire 90+ minutes of the game. For a couple of reasons. The first is that there were no commercials during play. That means that there were commercials before, during halftime and after the game, but while the ball was in play, there were zero advertisements. That is the best thing ever. But what kept me in my chair was the level of skill and technique on the field. Men's soccer is dominated by physical power and speed. Don't get me wrong, it is also a thrill to watch, but with women's soccer there's more strategy on how to play the ball. They really have to work as a team to be successful and score goals. In a world where athletes are celebrated on an individual basis, even though they play on teams, it is refreshing that there is still one sport that remains pure. 

And so I was hooked. I watched the rest of their matches and caught up on all the players. My favorite by far is Abby Wambach. She is a true team player, and is known for saying that if it weren't for her teammates getting the ball to her, she would not be a successful forward. She is also known for her ability to overcome injuries while on the field and for her headers. She is only three goals away from tying Mia Hamm's record for most international scores ever, man or woman and 40 percent of Abby's goals are completed with her head. In fact, one of Wambach's shining career achievements came from her heading the ball. In 2011 during the quarterfinal match against Brazil the US was down a point in the 123rd minute of the game. There was only about one minute left of play and if they lost this one, they were out of the running for a chance to win the World Cup. Then this happened:

They went on to win the game in penalty kicks. And even though they lost to Japan in the final, coming in second place, they beat Japan in the Olympics a year later. The World Cup has eluded the US Women's National team since they last won in 1999. To say that I am excited to see them play in the 2015 World Cup is a bit of an understatement. I will be in Canada cheering my team on. 

In the meantime there are a couple of things to keep me going. One is the new women's professional soccer league called the NWSL. This is the third attempt for a professional women's league in here and hopefully this time it will stick. The second is that the Women's National Team meets often to play against other countries and the popularity that they have received in the past couple years has made their games more accessible to watch. So this Sunday at 2:30 pm, I will be on my couch watching the US against Canada on ESPNews. It's sure to be an exciting game because their last match together was pretty controversial. Hope to see you there.

The Sacred Harp

"Oh God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise, even with my glory" (Psalms 108:1).

This is Sacred Harp singing. The Sacred Harp is your voice. It is the oldest form of American Christian music, and is sometimes called Shape Note Singing. Basically, when the Protestant churches sprang up in the South in the early 1800's, they wanted to create music that anyone could understand to read. So each note got a shape to it and the melody was about as basic and raw as possible. Many Europeans thought that this was too primitive to tolerate, but rebellious Americans that we were used that criticism as fuel to make Sacred Harp singing more popular. Most early Christian churches used Sacred Harp singing in their services. 

The idea of Sacred Harp singing is not to perform for anyone in particular, but to perform for each other. So if you were to attend one of these meetings, watching is not really an option. And moreover, you don't really get it until you participate. 

Sacred Harp singing is loud. Really loud. The point is to sing as loud as you love God.

Also, the words and phrases are kinda weird in this modern world. Everything about Sacred Harp feels ancient. There are many songs about how youth is fleeting, we're all gonna die soon, so stay close to God. The lyrics can get really morbid and that's when it gets a little funny.

The first time I went to a Sacred Harp meeting was October of 2009 with a roommate (who turned into one of my best buds). She seemed a little hesitant about sharing it with me--many people when they first attend think its some kind of cult or just really really weird--but I loved it instantly. It was challenging because I hadn't sight-read anything in a very long time and getting used to the style of it all took some getting used to. But I love a good challenge, and I love to sing, so its a perfect combination.

Group singing in general is good for you. I heard a report on NPR that talked about the many benefits to singing. There was a Scandinavian study conducted to determine what makes humans happy and found that singing, dancing and camping all produce positive behaviors and attitudes. How funny that I am an advocate for dancing, singing and I'll be camping this very weekend! 

There is also a really good documentary about Sacred Harp singing called Awake My Soul which I highly recommend. This ancient form of music isn't going anywhere either. Active groups meet often and hold regional conventions. The official Sacred Harp organization has a list of places and times where you can go sing your guts out. 

The Great Gatsby

This last week was my birfday and I celebrated extravagantly by going out to eat and watching Baz Luhrmann's Great Gatsby with some awesome friends. Luhrmann's interpretation of the American classic was spot-on with an excellent cast, a great script and beautiful costuming. Carey Mulligan is a fantastic actress who brought complexity to main heroine, Daisy. I wasn't too fond of her in the novel, but Mulligan's performance helped me realize just how despicable Daisy really is. Leonardo DiCaprio was the perfect fit for Gatsby, as was Tobey Maguire for Nick.

I was a little hesitant about Luhrmann adapting this beloved novel because it is, to it's core, a minimalist work and Lurhmann is, well, about as minimalist as Lucille Bluth is a good mother. But the writing stays true to the style of the novel and while the movie at first starts out with fast pacing, it slows down rather quickly so the audience can keep up. My anxieties were rapidly put to rest and I enjoyed the movie thoroughly.

What I enjoyed most about the film, however, was the soundtrack. It was produced by my homeboy Jay Z and features artists like Jack White, Beyonce, The XX, Lana Del Rey and Gotye. It has an awesome ragtime twist on hip-hip songs and is on one hand light and danceable, and on the other super intense and passionate. I usually love a good soundtrack, and I am a true believer that the soundtrack makes the movie, but rarely do I love the soundtrack more than I do the film. For as much as I enjoyed watching this movie, the soundtrack has got me hooked. Check it:









Till next week. Peace!

Inner Dance

I was asked to finally write about one my main mantras, philosophies and theories of finding happiness and meaning to life. But first thing's first, press play, then start reading.

So I have this theory that everyone is born with an Inner Dance, a unique way of expressing yourself.  Literally.  I’m not talking any kind of figurative mumbo-jumbo, but actual hip shakin’, earth quakin’, baby makin’ movement to the beat of your own drum.  And I know the two different thoughts you may be having right now. The first being that this must be some kind of weird self-help, you’re-beautiful-no-matter-what pep talk and overall full of crap tangent; the second being that this is inspirational and so true!  Well, in reality it’s a mix of both and what follows are several reasons how and why I came to the Inner Dance conclusion.

            I used to be afraid of dancing.  Pure and simple.  I was (and am) an over-weight, awkward young woman who was scared of the way my body moved.  Cause I felt that I was all over the place, that there was no end to my girth.  And why would anyone, myself included, want to see that gyrate?  Don’t think about it too much, you might get sick.  But then something magical happened.  Towards the end of my last summer as a carefree teenager, and one of the last romps with my high school friends, we walked to the nearby park and danced in the middle of the night, in the middle of the basketball court.  I looked around and saw my friends with their own unique ways of moving.  There was Kelly, a half-Brazilian, hip moving natural; Matt and Berto, awkward and indie; and Jess, very timid but very herself.  And then there was me: doing as little movement as possible trying hard not to get in the way.  But my friends didn’t care, and after a while I didn’t care either.  I was moving and grooving without giving a crap who was watching (which, fortunately for me, was no one).  After that night I realized that dancing is an amazing way to express oneself and I wanted to learn how to dance.  More than that, I wanted to learn how to be comfortable with my body and how it moves.

            So I started small.  When the house was empty and I was sure to have a good length of alone time, I would turn on the Sirius satellite radio onto the college rock station.  This was the stage in my life when I was just finding out about real music, not top 40, repeat the same song every two hours stuff.  College rock tends to be pretty upbeat, danceable, but not so hip hop it’s intimidating to new Inner Dancers.  I would crank this music pretty loud and just move.  Move my hips, my shoulders, my feet, arms, head, hands, and yes, even my butt.  I did this for weeks, months even, until I felt I had a good sense of how my body worked.  Eventually I got myself out on the dance floor at various dance parties while always keeping up and trying new moves at home. 

Now I plan dance parties.  I know a great DJ and somehow every party I have ends with the po-po shutting us down—which is the sign of a successful dance party.  When my sisters, my friend Lindsay and I went to Coachella in 2010, we actually got the dance party started. It was the first day of the festival and they already had the 24-hour DJ out there spinning beats. We walked up to the tent and saw no one was dancing. This was unacceptable. We moved right in the middle of the dance floor and started working our Inner Dances. Soon people started joining us and in about ten minutes, there was a full-fledged mob of people dancing around us. We then moved out of the dance floor and onto our next destination, knowing that our work here was done.

I am a success story.  I started out as an awkward fat girl and turned myself into an awkward dancing fat girl.  See the difference? New song:

But don’t just take my word for it. There have been numerous studies conducted on the effects of dancing on the human spirit. One study shows that “the opportunity for older people to express themselves through the medium of dance holds benefits both emotional and physical wellbeing.”  The author of this study said that older people feel younger and more confident with their bodies when they dance.  Dancing is great for the cardiovascular system at every age.  It helps obese people gain self-confidence, eat less and get exercise.  It helps those with eating disorders gain a healthier self-image.  Another study points out that we only move to get things done: 

“We tend to move in order to cross the street, to tie our shoes, to paint a picture, to sink a basket, etc…The end point of the action structures the journey, organizes the interactions, and at the same time determines our movement choices…The creative dance process mediates a journey beyond the utilitarian framework that co-ordinates our day-to-day activities…The aim is simply to experience the freedom of moving for the sake of moving and understanding how this feels.” 

We dance to dance and somehow this releases so many restrictions we put on ourselves, physical or otherwise.  We can, for a moment, stop worrying about things that are causing us any anxieties and just be caught up in the moment.  One study has taken a look at dance therapy, or experimental movement psychotherapy, to show what your inner dance can do for you. The study took some college students and observed how dancing effects their self-image.  The students had to participate in both structured and improvisational dancing.  As the sessions progressed the amount of time doing structured dancing decreased while the amount of time doing improvised dancing increased. The authors said:

“Initially participants displayed movement which can be characterized as heavy, cautious, introverted, self-contained and segmented while later sessions their movement exhibited light, confident, extroverted, explorative and integrative expressive elements.” 

The participants had “significantly greater increases [of] inner-directedness, flexibility of their application of values, acceptance of themselves in spite of weaknesses, and ability to engage in intimate relationships.”  Our Inner Dance is an important and integral component to truly be ourselves. 

We are each born with the ability to express ourselves without caring what others think.  When we observe children, we may notice the unique way they express themselves.  They are honest to a fault, don’t care what others think, dance, run, and play without reserve.  Unfortunately something happens to a child’s uninhibited state of being as they grow up.  General observations note that around age ten—when we are in the midst of peer-pressured grade school and feel the need to fit in—we start to lose our Inner Dance.  Rarely we find those who never lose it (and they should consider themselves lucky).  Society—The Man—starts forcing its agenda and expectations on us.  We are set with certain goals that The Man tells us to set.  We are ever so subtly being told how to think, feel, and behave.  Paradoxically though, society also tells us to “be yourself” and to “be happy with who you are.”  In truth, our culture tells us to be ourselves if it fits within society; otherwise, fake it till you make it, baby!  Our Inner Dance helps rekindle our inner child.  One dance expert notes:

“We learn to unfold and to put away learned unhelpful behavior patterns such as shyness and inhibition.  We are encouraged to become, once more, the child with its natural ability of genuine self-expression, not caring how others perceive us.  This in itself can strengthen our self-acceptance and assertiveness.” 

A wise woman once said “if we can think, feel, and move, we can dance.”  Dancing is a way to express our emotions and ourselves; dancing lets out anger, fear, and stress; it is a way to show happiness, joy, and excitement.  We are born with our own unique dance, our own unique ability to express ourselves. It is our responsibility to rediscover this Inner Dance in order to live a fuller, healthier life.  To quote the great Snoopy: “To live is to dance, to dance is to live.”

I highly encourage you to go out there and get moving. If you need some good dance music, I've got several options below.  Let the hips do the talking.

Untitled

First off, I’ve always considered myself something of a simpleton. I tend to not ask questions. Or I have questions only after its several hours too late to have them answered. I see things clearly and simply. I get a feel for what is told to me and base my opinion shortly thereafter. People come to me with questions and I can say things so matter-of-factly that I’m hardly ever contested on it. My family has picked up on this and therefore I have to defend myself a lot when I’m around them. But mostly when I speak, I do so with how I understand things to be. So for what I’m about to say, take it for what its worth to you.

Secondly, I wish to express that I rarely talk about what I’m going to talk about on a blog, Facebook, Twitter or any social media for that matter. I’m not one who spouts off that Obama sucks, that gas prices are devil’s play or even that I’m Mormon: I live it, I love it. Not to down those who do, it’s just not my style. The last political thing I did on FB was share the red equal sign the XX posted with the caption “Love is love,” which is one of the subjects I want to talk about today.

Thirdly, the opinions I will share very soon, I promise, were formed after several months of contemplation. I choose to write about it now because I cannot take it any longer. I have had many meaningful discussions with friends and family about these subjects and I wish to not hurt or target anyone, therefore every instance shared will be done with only common nouns. Okay, I think I’m ready to divulge.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, LDS, or Mormon. I was raised LDS my entire life. I was raised by wonderful parents who instilled the importance of family, religion, love and Christ. I have served in the church my entire life and can count on one hand how many times I have missed Sunday service. Before I used to take the church for granted, but I know I can no longer do that and remain a good, strong, enduring Latter-day Saint. There are a few hot-button issues in the U.S. right now that have torn people left and right, especially those of my faith. In fact, such topics have caused many of my faith to leave the church or they have become extremely skeptical of this religion.

One issue is marriage equality. I have many friends who have left for this reason alone. While I still side with the church, I strongly believe that there is and should be a separation of church and state. That is how I live my life. Socially, I am fairly liberal. I think that denying homosexuals to get married is denying citizens of this country their basic civil rights. By not allowing gay people to get married, we are hurting people and breaking families apart. Did you know that when a gay couple adopts a child, only one of them can adopt the kid? That means when the legal guardian is unable to pick up his/her child from school or take them to the hospital, his/her partner cannot act in the guardian’s stead. It is not right. Gay couples should be allowed to marry so that instances like that do not occur.

Now for those of you who are against gay marriage, here is what I have to say. So you think that its just one step closer to Sodom and Gomorrah? I think you might be misinterpreting the doctrine here—just like when many people think that Satan’s plan was to take our agency by forcing us to do good. Doesn’t it make more sense that he would have allowed us to do whatever we wanted and take away the consequence? After all, that’s kinda how he plays the game today. Similarly, maybe the reason why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed was because everyone was a nymphomaniac, not because they were gay. Just saying. Another point anti-gay people bring up is that gay people are super promiscuous. Hmm…any more than heterosexual people? I don’t think so. There are too many single pregnant women on the earth for that to be true.

Another issue, especially in the church right now, is feminism. I think that on the whole, every man, woman, and child is feminist to an extent, and I am all for changing some policies in the church. For instance, I do think that a member of the Young Women’s presidency should be present when a young woman and bishop are meeting, granted that there is a member of the Young Men’s presidency present when a young man and bishop are meeting as well. That’s just the world in which we live today. I don’t think it’s too far off to require a member of a stake Relief Society presidency to be present at a disciplinary counsel when involving a woman.  And for goodness sake, of course women should be allowed to pray at General Conference. I’m so glad that they finally fixed that one, it was long since due.

But I do not think women should hold the priesthood. First off, I find it hard to understand why any woman who has been through the temple thinks that they do not hold the priesthood already. That is a major, fundamental concept of the endowment. I feel so strong as a woman in the LDS faith. To quote the opening lines in the Relief Society motto (which organization, by the way, is the oldest women’s organization in the world): “We are beloved spirit daughters of Heavenly Father and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.” How can you feel powerless when you consider those words? Now, if policies were to change on that, I would take them as they unfold. But as it stands, I feel complete and content as a woman in the church.

These and other issues have led me to what I really wish to talk about. My heart is heavy. When I came to the realization that people who were once strong, good, faithful members of the church are now dropping like flies, I was shaken. These are people who went to my first endowment session in the temple, they have borne their testimonies over the pulpit, served full missions for the church. Their spirits and examples have carried me through rough times and part of my testimony was once supplanted by theirs. These same people are leaving the church because of the issues mentioned previously, or because they say they’ve never really felt the spirit, or because they do not agree with every principle of the church. Some still consider themselves members, but are just too lazy to go to church and do what they know they should be doing.

A couple of months ago, a friend asked me why I stayed in the church. She also asked me if I had been born in another religion, would I have sought out the LDS church. When she asked me this, I was not fully prepared to answer. I told her that I would have either become agnostic, or I would have stayed in the religion in which I was brought up to keep things friendly with my family. But mostly, how could I honestly know how to answer that question? After some thought, I would like to be the kind of person that would seek out the church, just like how I want to believe that I would have stayed awake if it had been me in the apostle’s shoes while Christ suffered Gethsemane. But chances are I would’ve slept just like the apostles. The fact is that I was born into the LDS faith and I am grateful for that every single day.

This same friend feels that almost every religion has truth and something valuable to hold. They each provide their members with stability and who are we to ask them to change to the LDS faith? After some thought, I beg to differ.  Mormonism offers much more than any one organization can provide. In the LDS church we learn about history, music, math, how to speak in public, we learn how to socialize, how to balance our lives, and so much more. This is a unique organization that spreads to so many different aspects of life. Furthermore, we learn about Christ. He loved everyone. However, he didn’t say keep on keepin’ on, its all good. No, he told us to repent and follow him. He lead by example to be baptized, to love our neighbor, to not judge others. Christ changed the gospel while he was on the earth. He changed the law of Moses. Sacrifice turned to Sacrament, an eye for an eye turned to forgive everyone, and love your neighbor, hate your enemy turned to love everyone. Asking those who practice different religions to change and turn to Christ is not being judgmental or “holier than though”. Its asking the same thing Christ asks us to do—repent and come unto Him.

Most of my LDS friends are very smart, smarter than me in many regards. They read and ponder and search. They discuss and then read some more. While I think this is awesome, and that they should never stop asking questions, I also think that Satan knows them very well. He knows where he can get them, tempt them, put thoughts into their minds that drag them away from God.

“O the cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men [and women]! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not…But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsel of God.”

When I first heard about friends that have truly left the church, I was angry. I knew that they were leaving for what I felt petty reasons. I mean, what happened to enduring to the end?! But after some time, my feelings moved from anger to sadness. How could these beautiful spirit sons and daughters of God leave the gospel for what seems to be such menial things? I understand that people feel things deeper than I do, that issues wedge into their brains that they cannot shake, just like how I know I feel music deeper than the average person. However, when I see my religion as plainly and simply as I do, the dismissal of the church in their lives is nonsensical.

Here is how I see my religion.

I cannot know anything for certain in this life. I have faith. More importantly, I believe I have faith. My favorite scripture is Mosiah 4:9-10:

“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourself before God…and now, if you believe these things, see that ye do them.”

That’s it. Just believe. Have faith. And don’t think all of your questions will be addressed any time soon. The Lord works on a different timetable. My mother, a wise woman, once told me to take my questions to the Lord and then tell him that they are the shelf and that he can answer them at any time. I literally imagine myself putting these thoughts into a book and placing them on the shelf. Then, hours, days, weeks, years later they get answered. For instance, all of this controversy and loss of faith has helped me determine what kind of Mormon I was. And for the longest time, I felt pretty stagnant in the church. But this whole experience has helped me realize that I do love God, I believe in his existence and his church, which I believe to be the LDS church.

I believe this church is far from perfect. I know that a lot of church history and past policies are sketchy. There are bad people in the church and things that don’t seem quite correct. But from what I do believe more assuredly, I cannot leave this gospel. I have felt its confirming spirit too many times to deny it. And what’s more, for the first time in years, I am not ashamed of it “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth.”

And for those who have experienced a loss of faith, or worse, never felt they had a confirmation of the spirit, I ask you to KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Don’t over complicate things any more than they already are. God’s standard media is simple, small, and almost insignificant. Impressions, feelings, road blocks, no blocks, dreams, yeses and no’s are all ways the Lord communicates to us. Sometimes the answers come through other people. Whatever way the Lord communicates, I can testify that he does communicate. But if you are so busy thinking about getting the answer, why haven’t you received it yet, aren’t you good enough, you should have received it by now—you have probably already missed it. Be still. Keep it simple. Just believe. Testify of what you do believe, even if it seems stupid or insignificant. And the answer will come. The faith, the belief, the revelation will come. “And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”

Of this, and more, I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.