srsly so blessed

i impulse bought the happiness project book in the airport on monday night and i was so annoyed with myself that i gave into my impulse and spent $15 on a book i couldn't return and wasn't sure if i wanted. BUT after reading it almost all the way through on my three hour plane ride (it was THAT good), i was SO glad i bought it. in short, it's one woman's quest to achieve attainable goals to make herself happier and her life and her family's more pleasant. i LOVED the book eat, pray, love, but spending a year traveling to italy, india, and bali to revamp my life is pretty unrealistic. so i appreciate that this woman wrote about how she did it and what she failed at and what she succeeded at and that she didn't have to change the environment of her every day life to do so. it's pretty inspiring.

with that being said, i'm feeling pretty humbled today. this quote by author lemony snicket has been coming to mind this morning. i've posted it before.

“It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them..." 

today i feel like everything in my life is a miracle. i feel like i'm pretty aware of the world around me. i have been in situations of extreme poverty. i have witnessed people go without food so that i could eat. i have it really good. today i feel really grateful for and unworthy to have everything i'm blessed with. 

ephiphany

this is probably dumb of me but i was just thinking and i just want to make it known that even though i have those moments of freak out i am not ungrateful and i am mostly content. the end.

50 things life is actually about

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stuff about stuff

tonight i feel so frustrated because i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing with my life.

then i come home to my house that is so cold because i can control the a/c and my bedroom with the awesome view of the valley and my super comfy queen sized bed and walk in closet, etc etc etc and i feel guilty for feeling so frustrated and annoyed with myself. gah.

as i said to a friend tonight, it's hard to be in charge of your own destiny if you don't even know what that destiny is. earlier i wrote that i would be happy in the moment and for the most part i am, but i still get stuck in these super annoying moments where i feel panicky that i should be doing more or better or whatever. i feel directionless.

there is so much good in my life. really, it's all good. sure crappy things happen here and there, but really, i have it GOOD. which is why it is soooo frustrating that i have these moments that i can't seem to get over. or i do, but they come back, and they're just as annoying as they were the last time it happened.

so basically i'm looking for some kind of direction. i need something to point me somewhere or to someone or to something. i have ideas that maybe i should be putting into motion instead of letting fear of failing get me down i guess.

now i'm just typing my random thoughts. the end.

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen

“We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.”

--Brad Meltzer

Passion Pit - Carried Away

i am a rainbow with gold at both ends.

it's funny how sometimes we have bad days after a string of so many good days. it's like sometimes our brain just needs a recharge so it shuts down and is like nope you need to stay home today or you're gonna be a grumpy rotten person all day. that was me yesterday. sorry.

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.”

--Maya Angelou

ALSO

i had an excellent birthday and couldn't have asked for much more.

can't hold me down

for the next two and a half weeks i will spend every night in my own bed. consistently sleeping in my bed will be refreshing considering it's not something i've done for more than 3 nights at a time since the middle of  may.

THIS SUMMER HAS BEEN AWESOME SO FAR. i have seen so many places and things and people. i wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING. i really really love the fact that i have visited and met so many awesome people. people are great.

i really want to do summery things now. the stuff i long for during the winter....like bike rides, more hiking, floating the river, camping, boating, etc etc etc.

these are the places i've been so far this summer (including driving through): st. george, colorado, kansas, missouri, illinois, indiana, ohio, west virginia, pennsylvania, new jersey, new york, california, idaho, montana, and canada. i will be going to texas in a few weeks, and after that who knows where else. crazy! i love it!

my life really is the best. even though i have those sucky moments and sometimes i want to keep sleeping instead of going into work because sometimes i loathe everything about it, everything is so good!

FYI i might hate everything about myself and my life tomorrow.

YEASAYER - "FINGERS NEVER BLEED"

7 signs you're becoming a better person

read this. i like it.