Things a 9 month old "needs" a.k.a. things that help you, the mother of a 9 month old, retain SOME sanity.

Some of C's favorite activities include: crawling, pulling up on anything, eating paper, eating anything, touching everything. He never. stops. moving. Therefore, I never. stop. moving. Anything that makes my day to day life easier is welcomed with open arms plus streamers, balloons, and banners. We have approximately 9-10 hours during the day to occupy. Meaning we need ACTIVITIES. Lights, sounds, anything annoying: he loves. I know virtually nothing about 9 month olds. But we're into week 2 of it so I'm becoming somewhat of a professional. Here are things we love in our house. Some are loved by C, some are more for my well-being, all are hated by Milo.

1. Ministar Shoes. After about the 3rd pair of ordinary baby shoes that I would spend 15 minutes struggling to get on C's little feet into while I'm sweating and cursing I got smart. My sister in law bought C a pair these lovlies at my baby shower which, at the time, I thought "It's going to be like 5 years before he'll need these things" WRONG. 9 months later they are awesomesauce. He also has a pair of brown fuzzy boots that keep his little sausage toes nice and toasty. They actually stay ON his feet which is a marvelous thing. However, HEAR ME AND HEAR ME WELL: C has a pair of Tom's shoes and he WILL wear them. He'll wear them until the toes are worn and the velcro no longer velcros.

2. Balls. General, yes. And get your mind out the gutter during this one. He has a big orange ball he loves, a medium sized Cardinal ball he loves and some smaller ones he also loves. Moral of the story: C loves balls. Ok I'm done.

3. Munchkin Snack Catcher. I know these are like, old news but whatev they rock. It's like a little mission for him to get his snack out. On the down side, about 3/4 of the snack fly out and usually onto the floor. Meh you pick and choose your battles.
4. Stuffed animal. His favorite is a little cow named Bertha that has a bell hanging from her neck. His goal in life is currently to rip the bell from her neck. It takes at least 5 minutes for him to try and fail. Then he swings Bertha around for awhile, climbs on her, pushes her face in the ground. It's like he's a little puppy and Bertha is his puppy friend.

5. SNACKS. Ok, I know some of you are like hyper-anti-snacks until your child is like 10 years old. I'm not. I'm pro anything that makes my child happy and food makes him very VERY happy. Here are some things he currently eats/enjoys: puffs, cheerios, goldfish, graham crackers, any cracker, veggies, bananas, mini weinies (yes you read correct. We had some last night and cut them up and he like FREAKED OUT he was so happy), chicken nuggets, etc. Basically, if we eat it, I cut it up and give him some. Pictured below are some cinnamon maple crack cocaine puffs. C literally craps himself out of sheer bliss when he gets these. We use them sparingly or anytime I'm in a store with him and he's about to LOSE IT (which is more often than not). Moral of this story: don't be scared, feed your child. They won't choke (ok they may, but most things dissolve super fast. Or cut things up super small. NBD. Life goes on.)


6. Anything that moves when pushed. He likes to walk and push things, crawl and push things. He crawls and pushes a ball, then laughs and crawls after it, bumps it again and the cycle continues. This also lasts approximately 5 minutes.

7. Mickey Mouse. Oh sweet goodness. I don't know what it is about this tiny little mouse but C DIES for him. His favorite part of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the first 30 seconds when Mickey just walks up a hill and starts talking. C starts smiling and laughing and bouncing up and down. It's pretty much the best thing ever. Anyway, Mickey stands the test of time. There's just something about that horrible, squeaky voice. I don't really get it but there are worse characters on the show he could love. Like that idiot Clarabelle cow I just want to PUNCH HER IN HER STUPID COW FACE. excuse me.

8. Peek-a-boo. This has been a favorite for several months. He loves it when I do it or when I cover his face and do it. We pop out from behind walls. He lurves him some peek-a-boo. So simple, so fun for a 9 month old.

9. Ceiling fans. My parents actually discovered this. Whenever we walk from his room to our room to the living room he just looks straight up and stares at the fan. It's not even moving. So when I'm changing his diaper or getting him dressed and he's arching his back and LITERALLY YELLING at me, I make the fan go and he's all "ooo I'm so happy for the next 5 seconds and then I'm going to yell again".

10. Any Lee Child book featuring Jack Reacher. Ok this is not for C. And I really don't have time to read, but I make time for Reacher. And you will too. If you watched 24 and fell in love with Jack Bauer (how could you not?) you will also fall in love with Reacher. He's like Jack Bauer but in book form. Just read it.

That's it for now. I'll give you an updated list when Christmas is over and he's balls to the wall out of his mind excited with his new lights and annoying sounds. Can't wait for our house to be exploding with new toys. Yaaay.
Hope some of these help to keep your sanity!!

The world needs God.

I debated for about...5 seconds on whether to write this post or not. Mostly because thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Our neighbors have a flag flying just under the American flag that says "the world needs God." I could not agree more.

Especially after hearing of yet ANOTHER "mom" that killed her 13 month old baby. THIRTEEN MONTHS. Are you kidding me?? Sadly, I'm not kidding you.

I hold my baby extra tight when I hear these stories.

I look into his helpless eyes and wonder what sort of monster could ever murder such an innocent.

It brings tears to my eyes and I can't even bare to let my mind go to the place of picturing a tiny child brutally beaten to death by it's own mother. If ever we needed a savior, it's now. They don't know. They're children. They TRUST us. If you're going to have a child, love it. If you have a child and you don't love it, I know plenty of people that would absolutely love that child as their own.

This world NEEDS God. So desperately.

If you care to read about this awful story, here's a link.

P.S. That's a picture of C, not the baby from the story. Just thought I should clarify. Now go love your children.

Thank you internet moms for actually being RIGHT

If you've been following me for awhile (like the 8 months that we've had our nugget) you know that the first like....6 months were AW.FUL. I don't really like to go back to those days because I start shaking and sweating and crying. That could also be the overabundance of caffiene in my bloodstream but whatev. Anyway, all these moms kept leaving BS comments telling me "it gets better" and every time I heard that I wanted to punch the mom who said it, but I guess that's not really "socially acceptable" or a very productive way to make mom friends. Well lady friends, I'm here to tell you, do NOT punch these women who are telling you this. They know their shiz. It DOES get better. Like, C is actually fun to play with now. He laughs and smiles and bounces and crawls and SLEEPS for long periods of time.
We still have some rough patches. He still STILL hates the car. He'll probs never drive and just take public transit when he gets older since apparently our car is so awful to be in. He's super high-activity so sitting in one place for longer than about 5 seconds is a no-go. Eating at a restaurant is super not fun but that's good because we can't afford it anyway. He loves Target about as much as his mom so that works out well for us.
We just started him on his first round of antiobiotics :( I guess it was bound to happen since he stopped drinking from the tap like years ago. He's teething (the top 2 big boys), has a cold and is MOST LIKELY allergic to Milo (I'm totally just making this up so we can get rid of the cat, but it seems like a very likely scenario). He handles all these obstacles like a champ.

In other non-baby related news, I'm going to start subbing a couple days a week. Do I want to? Actually yes. A little bit. C is going through like super attachment to me and while I love that he's obsessed with me, I think it's probably in both our interests to spend some time apart. You know, let things cool off a bit. Whenever B is home in the evenings and he's playing with C, C is all like "uhh where's my mom WHERE'S MY MOM???" panic mode. And I'm like "C, I'm right here. Making food for your giant gut, settle it down" Also, I just realized this is completely back to the subject of C after I just said it was "other non-baby related news" Isn't everything about the baby though??

Ok that's all. I need to go pinterest the rest of this naptime away.

I need an assistant-slash-someone to do everything for me.

Who would like to do the following things for me. For free.
-Clean my house on a weeky basis
-Plan C's first birthday party
-Read books for me and give me the summary
-Rake the billions of leaves in our yard that the huge stupid tree pooped out
-Find me a part time job, do said job, and then give me the profits

I know it may seem like a lot, but it's really not. We're called to serve others, so someone come serve me.

I kid, of course....

Ok seriously though, my brain literally HURTS. Like, caffeine doesn't even help. My precious diet coke is just something that tastes good to me now.
When did kid's first birthday parties become like a bigger deal than my wedding? I know he's only going to be ONE and has like no clue what the h is happening but obviously the party is for the adults and to show off how I'm some sort of super mom or whatever. Which I'm totes not. Someone please share some unlame first boy birthday party ideas thank you. I know he loves Mickey Mouse but I don't want a Mickey-themed party. And it's MY PARTY. Ok, that was the venti frap from starbucks I had this morning. I need to go lay down.
GIVE ME IDEAS BEFORE I POKE MY EYES OUT.

Panic-mode

C is 8 months today. That means several things...

1. My baby is becoming less of a baby and more of a little man

2. Walking is becoming getting freakishly close to happening

3. His first birthday is 4 months away

Let me tell you a little more about number 2. The kid just wants to walk all day. We hold his hands and walk laps around the house while he smiles and giggles at Milo (yes, he's still here if anyway was wanting to take him). He wants to stand up at everything: the ottoman, the couch, his toy bin, chairs, ME whatever. He's still pretty wobbly but I foresee an early walker. Of course when he starts I think there will be minimal walking and more running. He doesn't stop unless he's sleeping (PTL the kids likes his sleep).

I'll tell you one thing: he gets more awesome every day. I love LOVE hanging out with him everyday. He wears me the h out, yes. But oh, that smile. And his laugh. And how he talks about "dada" all gd day. I don't even care (false, I care very much) that he's saying "dada" I just love to hear his voice (again, that's a lie. I'm very bitter that mama has yet to be uttered. But I mean it's understandable. B did carry him for 9 months in his womb while his stomach stretched to ungodly lengths and hit feet swelled to sizes that should be illegal. And then he pushed all 8 pounds 6 ounces out....NO HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS. I DID. MAMA DID. And it's like salt in the wounds when I look C in the eyes and say "say, hi mama!" and he looks me back in my eyes and says "hi dada" and then I swear...) Anyway, he really does rock. And he happens to be the cutest boy like, ever. In case you didn't know. Just take a look at these never-before-seen photos:

IKNOW. Are you dying?The tail from his halloween costume. Yeah I don't know...The kid LOVES to swing. Winter will be a sad time for all...This is C's new lady-friend. She doesn't talk much which is what he loves most about her.

The wait is over

Hello my babies. So the last time I posted was in August. It's now November. You'll be happy to know I haven't just been sitting around eating Halloween candy. Oh no wait, yes I have. I've been starting up a little biz you may have heard of...Amy Joy Photography. And yes, I still have a baby who isn't much of a baby anymore but we'll get to that later. How have you all been? Ok enough about you this is my blog. Want to know what C-nugz has been up to? One word: TEETH. Oh sweet goodness what a horrible, hellish experience.
hepoopedinthebathtub. HE POOPED IN THE BATHTUB. And I. Almost. Died. Grossest thing that has happened thus far. If it happens again I may really add puke to the poop in the tub. Keep it in your butt, C.
Now I'm going to tell you what we've been up to the past 2 months in picture form because I know that's why you all come here, my creepy internet friends.

C got a new hat for winter.
He loves his walker. He hates that I photograph EVERYTHING.
We went and got some pumpkins. Some stupid squirrel stole C's off the front step.
He still has the best smile. EVER. We went to a hoe down at church. C learned some sweet line dances and ate some chili. Those are both lies.We had a little mother/son photoshoot one day after church because he was wearing a sweater vest and I couldn't resist. A SWEATER VEST people. I die.My mom and I put a reindeer hat on him. Just because. B and I had a date day for his golden bday on the 29th. Now you know how old he is. Such an old man. That actually just means I'm getting old too. Ewww.C went trick or treating with his cousins. Yes I used him to get some candy that is now sitting on my hips and muffin top. I do not regret it.
Our little tiger.

And that brings us up to the present. C is almost 8 months. That is not a lie though it feels like it should be. He sits up, crawls, babbles ALL DAY about dada which gets REALLY old. I try to respond with "mama mama mama" but he continues to stare me in the eye and say "dada" I'll ground him for that later. He picks up cheerios with his chubby little fingers and shoves them in his mouth. He also loves graham crackers and several other types of crackers. He begs for food so I have to be super sly about my halloween candy consumption. He sleeps like a champ.
Me? Oh I don't want to talk about me. Ok, photography has been fairly busy. I'm looking forward to a slow winter so I can brainstorm the next photog season and how I'm going to make a million dollars. JK.
B and I are planning a weekend getaway around our anniversary in December courtesy of my parents. I can't wait, but I know I'll puke to leave C for TWO NIGHTS.
Hope you all enjoyed this little update. My plan is to keep this up again but I have to warn you, we really don't have exciting lives.

Peace, Love, and Happiness. xoxo. ttyl. LYLAS.

what uppppppp??

Hello my phantom internet friends. Apologies on my tardiness of a post. Lately my time is fully consumed by the nugs and my booming photog biz. Ok it's not quite booming, but I've made some monies and isn't that what life is all about? No? Oh ok. Anyway, today I'd like to discuss something that I don't believe I've ever blogged about before: something my son is good at and enjoys. I know this may sound harsh, but at least I don't pour hot sauce down his throat. Psycho. That lady is probably the anonymous that thinks I don't love my son. Sorry, let's move forward. I often blog about things my son hates and rejects. For example: the car, the nap nanny, my boobs, life in general. To the moms that lied and told me it gets easier: you lied. But in your defense, your child probably wasn't in the same category as mine. Lately he fusses from nap time to nap time. I don't know if his teeth are being stupid and making him mad or if his lack of mobility is pissing him off. Or is he's just so bored with me all day. Anyway, while he hates alot of things, he takes after his dad in one area and loves LOVES his naps. I hear alot of moms complain about their poor nappers and while we did go through a phase, I'm happy to report he now gets that sleep is a friend and we need it. He takes two 2 hour naps a day (usually. unless my mom is watching him and he only sleeps 45 mins. because he can't wait to go hang out with grandma again. seriously, i think he wants me to go work full time so he doesn't have to hear my horrible singing AGAIN). So thank you son, for giving me 4 hours a day to wash B's dress clothes (conversation this morning before B left for work: B: do you think you could wash my dress clothes? I'm about out of shirts. A: Oh, do you not know how the washer works? B: looks at me pissy A: (this wasn't spoken, it was thought in my head) now I feel like a d-bag. Of course I'll wash your shirts. It's part of my job as a SAHM. Luh you. But of course I didn't say it out loud. That would be too nice and respectful.), wash bottles, plan our new healthy diet (post on that soon. it'll make you laugh for reals), watch amazing wedding cakes, KUWTK (if you don't know what that is, you need to watch more reality TV), chitter with my new bff Khloe Odom Kardashian (nbd), and maybe MAYBE dust or vacuum, but probably not.
Well, I'm sure you'll all be pissed to know there are no pictures in this post. Sorry I'm not sorry. I have a lot on my plate. And I think Fried Green Tomatoes is on right now...gotta run. And by "run" I mean continue sitting on my butt in front of the TV and complain about why I'm still fat.
<3

PEOPLE. Get ahold of yourselves, PLEASE.

I know all 5 of my faithful readers have been getting the shakes everyday because they haven't had my hilar blog to read in like a week. I have a family people, you need to calm down. Things have been Krazee around here, with a capitol K. Mostly all photography related, and because I don't want this blog to turn into a photography blog (SARAH), I'll just give you updates on our lives.
Update #1: C still hates being predictable. Typically his night looks a little something like this- bath/eat/bed around 10:00, wake up around 7:00a.m. to eat, back to sleep, wake up around 9:30. This was a schedule I could get on board with. Then Monday he went and did something TOTES crazy. He slept from 10:00 p.m. until 9:15 A.M. Like, without eating until 9:15. What? Awesomesauce is what that is (that was for you, Missy) Then last night happened. Schedule: 9:30 bedtime, up THREE TIMES around 11:30 needing to be bounced, asleep until 3:30 when he got up TWICE. We had to let him cry for awhile because he wanted to be up and chatting and again, this was not going to happen in my house. He finally slept until 7:30. F. The kid keeps things interesting, that's fo sho.
Update #2: STILL NO TEETH.
Update #3: Still not mobile
Update #4: He's carrying on a love affair with his feet. The second I lay him on his back, or when I get him out of his sleep sack, the legs go up and he grabs his feet. He. Loves. His. Feet. I actually do too. They're pretty much the best things ever.
Update #5: He's tried about every fruit under the sun and loves them all. Even prunes. Vom. He's finally graduated to a high chair, such a big boy.
Update #6: I think my heart might burst out of pure love for this kid. Pretty sure he gets cuter after every nap, even if the nap only lasts 30 minutes. Enough serious crap though.
Update #7: B goes to a nascar race for a whole weekend in September and I'm hugely not looking forward to it. Please judge him and throw things at him.
Update #8: The state fair is about to start and I'm probs looking forward to it a little too much. Serious though, you can't beat the fair crowd. Or the food. You know it's true.
Update #9: Our windows are currently open and AC off. B doesn't know this yet. He'll be pissed when he gets home.
Update #10/shameless plug: HIRE ME TO TAKE YOUR PICTURES. I know that sounds pitiful and I apologize, sort of. But for reals, I'm cheap and decent {that's what she said} and love LOVE this new business venture. I get all giddy about my next photoshoot and actually enjoy editing. Go ahead and "like" my facebook page. And then jump over to my photography blog. Go ahead. We're done here. Hope this was enough of a fix for you junkies and creepers out there.

But even if he does not

During my bible study this morning (at 6:45...A.M. yes it's true) I rediscovered what I think is one of the most challenging verses:

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even is he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the imagine of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18

Ok some observations:
1. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego's confidence and obedience
2. Our God is ABLE, but he doesn't have to
3. Why wouldn't he?

We need to love and trust God even if he doesn't do what we want him to do. Our pastor has posed the question before: "do we love God for what he does for us or for who he is?" I think we have to examine ourselves daily on this topic. It's so easy to get caught up (without even knowing) on what God can do for ME. We probably don't even have bad intentions, but we're human and naturally very egocentric. But what if he doesn't provide? Do you still love him then? Or do you get angry and start questioning his sovereignty? I don't think it's wrong to question or even get upset in situations, but I think it's crucial to look at the verses in Daniel and remember we're called to obey EVEN IF HE DOESN'T.
Meditate on what that means in your life today.

Mornings

I know, I know I'm slacking on this blog thang. Save the lectures (SARAH). But this photography "business" is eating up all my free time. And C still isn't napping consistently so each day I never know how much time I'm going to get to check things off my ever growing to-do list.

But let's get back to the point of this post: mornings.

I'm not a morning person. Anyone who knows me well knows this. Especially my fam. I need AT LEAST 30 minutes to wake up. This means: don't say more than 3 words to me, give me a diet coke and some food, let me be. In high school my mother was notorious for 20+ questions AS SOON AS I came up from the basement (granted, it was probably like noon but whatever. My room was in the basement and it was a cave down there. One could sleep for days). I would respond in a very non-loving way and so our day would begin on great terms. Now B has had to learn this about me. C hasn't caught on yet. Hoping he gets the memo soon. While I'm not a morning person at 6:00 a.m. or 8:00 a.m. or anytime before noon really, I'm especially not a morning person at 3:00 a.m. which is when C woke up 2 nights ago and was wide awake. I was like, um no. This is not happening son. I tried bouncing him and he wasn't having it. He wanted to chat and I did not. So I laid him in his crib to think about what he was doing and have some quiet time. We must've had a little miscommunication because he thought I meant cry for an hour. Totally not what I meant but that's fine. At 4:00, whilst still crying, B bounced him and he cooperated this time. My days are long enough as it is with this stupid heat and being on lock down in the house. I'm not about to begin at 3:00 a.m. H no.

But, when C has a good night and gets up at a reasonable hour, like say 8:30 a.m. I'm ever the morning person because this is what I get to spend my day with:

I absolutely LOVE when he first wakes up from a nap. One side of his face is usually red with some lines from laying on it. He's very quiet and observant. He usually let's me snuggle him for a minute. Sometimes he talks very quietly, like he's whispering. He's precious and he's getting bigger and while it makes me sad, it makes me excited to be able to watch him grow every day. Oh, and he loves food. So far he's tried (and loved): bananas, peaches, apples, avocado, and last night pears. In between bites he pants like a dog in anticipation of the next bite and then when I put the spoon in his mouth he goes "mmm!" in different octaves every time. I laugh at each one. I'll try to get a video of it.

That's all. Gotta go get something done while he's down for a few minutes.

Some things never change

Like my son hating HATING the car.
Or his awesomesauce hair that he's had since I birthed him.
Or his smile that is perfection.

But some things do change. Like C trying a mum mum (?) today. It's called a "rice rusk" and it looks and probably tastes as gross as it sounds. It's basically a giant rice kernel that babes can gnaw on and it dissolves. Only my son wanted to eat it and take bites. With his gums.

Another thing changing is C trying a sippy cup. Ok, first he couldn't get any water out so he just chewed on it:

Then I took the stopper thing out from the inside so the water would just flow. And this happened:

He's not such a fan of the h2o. That's alright. There's enough change around here without adding crazy things like water and mum mums. I can't call them that. I sound like a straight up fool. From now on they will be rice logs. That sounds much more sophisticated.

In other completely non-related news, here's something that totes bothered me today but really probably shouldn't:

Now, most normal people are probably looking at this thinking, "ok, I see a cute little girl with a pink dress dancing on the word dress. What's the big deal?" Let's zoom in shall we...(sure, it's not like I've already wasted 5 minutes of you time..)

This is where things get a little dicey. Tell me what you see here. Better yet, I'll tell you. The girl is wearing sandals with socks. With a dress. Now, I realize she's too young to have anything to do with this outfit, so naturally I blame her parents and/or the people who made this book. Come on people, for a book we're paying like $10 for, at least have the children's outfits MATCH. I don't think that's too much to ask for. Of course, this is coming from a lady who rarely changes out of my pajamas all day and typically have spit up all over my shirt and pants. But whatever.

Shambles

Ok someone just shoot me. It would be way less painful than my life today. We're currently going on 45 minutes of non stop crying in the crib. And no, I'm not the one crying in the crib though I'm on the verge which is why I'm writing this post-to distract myself from the horribleness that is happening. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about crying it out. I WANT to let him cry it out. I think it's time and I'm ready. He is not. He's pissed and he's totally cussing at me in his baby language and it makes me sad. I keep going in every couple minutes to flip him back on his stomach and he just yells at me even louder. He looks like such a pitiful little turtle stranded on his back with arms and legs flailing. I wouldn't be doing this for such a long period of time if I didn't KNOW without a shadow of a doubt he's exhausted. His naps lately have been sucking the big one (I don't know what "the big one" is...but I'm going to assume it's Milo). He definitely inherited my stubbornness. Flip.
Ok time's up, I gotta go get him before I barf from feeling like a total failure and then kill my child because he won't just go to sleep. Go ahead, leave your judgmental comments. As usual I don't really care.
Oh yeah, and if you want to send me money to buy a new laptop, that'd be awesomesauce too. I'm writing this on hubs' laptop because I just had to very incorrectly hold the power button down and shut mine off. Mostly out of utter frustration and piss off-edness (just don't say anything about that made up word thanks). It's about to kick the bucket and it's not necessarily "ideal" when starting up a photog biz.
Ok, I wish you could hear what I'm hearing over here. Not really, but he's so pissed I can hear him kicking his feet on the mattress. And not through the monitor, I hear it live...through the closed door.
Seriously, please someone shoot me.
My life is utter chaos and diarrhea on a stick.

no xoxo's. If you x or o me right now, I'll kick you in the jugular.

Why do I do this to myself?

I'm probably dumber than my idiotic cat about a lot of things. This being a big one. I want a new house. Now before you get all "I don't even know what to put in these quotes" on me (I'm mostly talking to my mother)...let me explain myself PLEASE (mom).
When we moved in here 2 years ago I adored out little home. We were torn between 2 lovely houses and I'm glad we chose this one. For the most part. No, I really am glad. It's been perfect for us in that it's needed NO major fixes which is awesomesauce because we are NOT in the market to be replacing like AC units or crap like that. But lately, I've felt less and less safe and more and more ready to be in a new place. Where we're at is like RIGHT on the fringe of some shifty areas. We're like 4 blocks east of some creeptastic apartments and in the not so far away distance is the "east side" of Springfield which is where my bro patrols the streets and we all know his beat (yes, I know police lingo) is like gross and scary (I know this because I rode with him one night and it was both terrifying and awesome at the same time. Like I want to do it again tomorrow but I might cry because it's so scary.) It would give me more peace of mind to be like a lot further west/south. Like a couple weeks ago, we had this disoriented/most likely drunk or high/possibly homeless native american with long pigtail braids roaming up and down our street wondering where he was. Umm, I'm not ok with this. PLUS on either side of us we have rental homes and while one is pretty ok and I have minimal fears about it, I try to keep my distance from the other while keeping my eye on it at the same time. Tricky business.
Now, I keep finding myself looking up homes for sale on the stupid internet which is both foolish and moronic because we CAN'T move for another year since we took that dumb first time homebuyers incentive. So I look, and my hearts starts beating fast when I see a cute house in a nice area and then I start crying (not really) when I remember we can't leave. I'm such a baby but whatever.
Well, I have to go look up more homes. I can't explain it but I do it anyway. I guess I'm sort of like a crack addict in that way. Please don't misread that sentence. I am not on crack. I just have an almost 5 month old that sucks at sleeping. (I LOVE MY SON AND I'M SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE. PLEASE DON'T MISTAKE MY SAYING HE SUCKS AT SLEEPING AS SAYING I HATE HIM AND MY LIFE.)

Little monkey

This kid loves bananas. He loves bananas like his mama loves her reisling in the evening. And if this post starts to make less and less sense as you read, it's because I've already had my glass and things are slightly foggy....I kid...sort of...

Anyway, let me break this whole scenario down for you:

1. At his last appointment his doc gave us the green light on cereal

2. I was determined to wait until at least 5 months to start

3. We tried cereal the next day out of boredom

4. He hated the cereal

5. We tried it every night that week and he continued to hate it

6. Bedtime routine with cereal was no fun for anyone.

I have a smart child. I also wouldn't eat straight up rice powder poop mixed with that stinktastic formula pee. I'd spit that junk right out. And that's what he did. A couple of my mom friends said they started bananas shortly after starting cereal and I thought, meh it's been long enough torturing C with this crap let's try the good stuff. Conveniently, my madre had some ripe naners (which is obviously what we call them in our house because that's way cooler to say than bananas. Coming soon: a post about all the made up words we use around these parts). So I threw those ripe babies in the blender and liquified them. After I poured a little into a bowl for him, I divided the rest into ice cube trays to freeze for later. I mixed some of that nast cereal and a little formula and stuck that spoon in his mouth. I joke you not this kid thought it was straight up crack on a spoon. He smiled after every bite. We did it again during bedtime and this time he was too focused on the task to mess with smiles. When we finished the perfectly portioned ice cube of naners, he fipped his lid like we'd cut off his crack supply. Here's hoping some naners and his bottle hold him over until like 9 a.m. I have high expectations of my child. I'm sure this won't harm scar him at all as he grows up.

He also helped me make some mini cheesecake things today. And by help me, I mean he sat in his bouncy seat and freaked out everytime I used my electric mixer.

To: Anonymous

I'm no good at biting my tongue. I'm sarcastic and I say what's on my mind. Take it or leave it. Be my friend or don't. I bit my tongue when I received this comment a couple posts ago:

"A friend told me to check out your blog because she said you were a young mom and it was funny, but all I have to say is really? You should be counting your blessings God gave you a child. There are many out there that would love to be in your position right now high maintenance or not."

July 16, 2011 8:02 PM

I can't bite it anymore. The reality is, it made me sick to my stomach to read this. Not because I thought this person was correct AT ALL or because I felt I owed anyone an apology. I write honestly and if you don't like it, don't read my blog. But DO NOT judge me 1) ever or 2) based on one post you've read of mine. Because if you do (and you did, anonymous), I hope you'll feel like a huge BOOB when you take the time to look back at previous posts where I say things like this about my son:

July 8: Now I'm not going to get all "woe is me" because we tried for 7 months. We have several friends TTC right now and are having a much more difficult time than us so I'm quick to count our blessings.

July 8: I was also completely unaware how much I would love such a tiny little nugget.

July 1: Also before I can any further let it be known that having C has brought us more joy than ever imaginable. He lights up our lives daily and I can't even begin to fathom our lives without him.

I don't think I need to quote any more, though I could. I could blow up your computer screen with all the times I've blogged about how my son absolutely rocks. I sincerely hope you're reading this "anonymous" and I really hope you feel convicted for doing God's job and pouring out your judgement on me for the internet to see. Please don't ever leave a comment like that on my blog again. Better yet, just don't read it.

Winner winner chicken dinner

Well, it's a tie.
Jessicat828 and hanban7 commented at the EXACT same time.
Unfortunately I only have one of these to give away so they'll have to duke it out...







What? You want to know what it is?







You're going to be very excited to learn that you've won...........

THIS GIANT PIECE OF CRAP!! YAY!!

Now, one of you HAS to take him because that's part of winning, so sorry. Here are some things you should know about your new pet: you have to stand next to him while he eats or he'll walk around the house crying like a little girl, he will barf on your beige carpet, your home will now be covered in stupid cat hair. Best of luck to you in this new journey.

Thanks for playing! Message me with your address and I'll overnight him so you can start bonding bright and early in the morning when he decides it's time for him to eat. You get no say.

GIVEAWAY!!

BE THE FIRST ONE TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST AND YOU'LL WIN SOMETHING ONE OF A KIND AND TOTALLY AWESOME!!

DO IT, YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!

HURRY!!

Open for business

It's official, friends. Amy Joy Photography is open for business! It's pretty legit, I have a website and everything. It's been a little chaotic lately trying to get everything set up and ready. Big shout out to hubs (who never reads this) for being on C duty pretty much all day Saturday so I could edit and launch everything. SO, think of me if you need some sweet pics taken. I don't do weird stuff though, so take your awkward family poses and go elsewhere.
Here are the deets:
www.wix.com/amyjoyphotography/amy
you can "like" me on facebook: amy joy photography

Next on the agenda: business cards. Look out. This is for realz.

I will laugh in your face

If you EVER try to tell me your child is also high maintenance. My son is in a league of his own. Like there's regular babies, fussy babies, high maintenance babies, and then C. Getting his 4 month shots didn't help on Monday either. This week has been BRU-TAL. It's like a horrible flashback to the first month of his life. His naps are poopy, he's been fighting going to sleep at night when he used to crash out during his bottle and we wouldn't see him until at least 3:00 a.m. when he wanted his paci. Wednesday he had an entire 60 minute fuss-fest. And don't even get me started on our lunch date Tuesday at Chili's with another mom and her son who was completely content to just chill in his car seat throughout the entire meal. I would have loved to have been sitting in the booth across from us to see the calm, happiness coming from her side of the table and the mass chaos and destruction that was my side of the table. I swear we'll be banned from every restaurant in Springfield by the time he's 1. We had a similar episode at Olive Garden one day for lunch a couple weeks ago. Forget the terrible two's, we're experiencing the terrible 4 months. Ok, so you're still thinking "you're not alone my child was the exact same!" Let me continue to paint this picture for you:
-He has never liked his swing. This is the item that 98% of babies love. I think he fell asleep ONCE in it when he was like 2 days old. Since then, he rolls is eyes at that thing.
-He HAAATES the car. So save your "oh just stick him in the car and go for a drive to calm him down." This would actually have reverse effect. I dread car rides. B and I never get to ride up front together anymore. One of us has to be in the back doing magic tricks and jumping around to entertain the nugget.
-HE NEVER STOPS MOVING. I kid you not. At the previously mentioned Chili's lunch, the other mom's kid literally moved like twice and both times it was his eyes to stare down my son who was making it known to the entire restaurant we were there. He can't sit still, he can't just lay in his car seat for more than 5 minutes. And during those 5 minutes in the seat, his legs are doing some karate kicks. We went back to swaddling last night because he's so spastic. Pretty sure we have a little ADHD child in the making. I blame the diet cokes I drank while pregs.
The ONLY sure thing I have found to instantly calm him these days is to walk outside. Yes, I've even set up a bag chair in the front lawn so we can watch cars and trees. Judge me all you want, I don't even care at this point. So while it's like 150 degrees and every other human is enjoying some nice refreshing AC, you can find us doing laps around the block while sweating off my muffin top.
I love my son, I really do. Fussy butt and all. But hear me and hear me well: God will need to give some CONCRETE PROMISES that if we're supposed to have another child, it will NOT be high maintenance x12. I don't want C to be an only child, but I can tell you straight up I will not go through this again in addition to having a toddler. And if I do go through this again, C will need to be like 15 so I can punish him and make him take care of his sibling. I shudder at the thought of what our "terrible two's" will look like....I need to go get my wine.

I'm not a hoarder, I'm a saver

My mom was over yesterday and she recently watched like a 12 hour Hoarders marathon or something crazy like that so she's determined to get rid of any and all clutter at her house or anyone else's she may enter. She wanted to start throwing like everything away in my house, including Milo which I was more than ok with. I told her to simmer down, this is not a project to just be started at 2:00 in the afternoon, I have to be in the mood and know it's coming. Now, I am by no stretch of the imagination a hoarder or anywhere close. But I create piles of things that don't necessarily fit into specific places. Currently, our coffee table and desk are the prime spots for these random piles. I'm ready to get rid of the coffee table to free up more floor space since C is pretty into hanging out down there as well as the desk because I have lofty plans for the front room which will soon be converted into his play room. So I decided today I would start throwing things away and clearing these 2 surfaces off. The problem is, the table and desk are homes to some important things like our checkbook and receipts that we keep for something like 4 years (my husband is an accountant, it comes with the territory). So I had to have an alternative place for these things. The best I could come up with is a bookshelf that will be placed on a wall by a window near our dining room table where I will insert some cute baskets on the top shelves for these items and put some of C's toys on the lower shelves where he'll be getting into. This will make more sense visually when I take pics and post them. Ok, all of this to get to the real purpose of this post. I'm easily distracted when I start going through piles. It always took me like 5 hours to clean my room because I'd find notes from old boyfriends and start reading them or something. Well today I found a box of old notes and cards and pictures from when B and I started dating. Naturally I got sidetracked and started reading them all and taking pics so I could let you all see the hilarity of our dating relationship. Here's a little background. B and I started dating in February of 2005 while at EIU. During that summer, he stayed in Charleston for summer classes and I went home. I realized I loved him over the summer but swore up and down I WOULD NOT be the first one to say it, I would wait patiently for him to say it first. Now, if you've known me for 5 minutes, you know patience is not in my vocabulary. I just can't do it. So when I went back to school in the fall we were hanging out one time and I don't remember the conversation but I really felt it was heading in "that" direction..i.e. he was about to say it! Since I was very confident in this, I went ahead and said "I love you" expecting an "I love you" in return. No dice. Here's what I got "Oh. Ok. Well, I can't say it back right now..."
Um...are you kidding me? Shut the front door. Now this was at about 6 months of dating. Do you know when he finally said it back to me? AFTER ONE YEAR OF DATING. For 6 months when I would say it, he would respond with "thanks, babe" ljhsgjfoirhgkjfhdsgfjkhg. What a whore. It all worked out, I guess. So here are some hilarious notes/cards he gave me BEFORE the "I love you" when all he could tell me was how much he LIKED me. Disgusting... Ok this one just cracks me up. Thanks for the look out, B.A sight for sore eyes? Gag me.Please note the enthusiastic "I like you!" + a heart....which does NOT mean he loves me...

Sure you do, B. I'd just like to point out all the underlined words and let you know that I was indeed the Best Girlfriend Ever. So suck on that. And that he likes me so much, of course. The first summer we dated my parents and I went on vaca and B stayed at our house and pet-sat for Max and Milo (he hadn't been around long enough to join us on vaca). When we got home I was sent on a scavenger hunt. I believe the end prize was a season of the Newlyweds and some peanut m&m's. He knew me so well. Too bad he didn't love me. Here's a small sample of the awesome clues I got.Some things about this one: The bridge to connect "any" and "way," "I Like you soooo much" and that there is a "PS" AS WELL AS a "PSS."Ok this pic is just amazeballs. Did you ever think B had so much hair? Now you see where my child gets his ridic hair 'do.

Let me give you a little background on this pic, like you care. This was during my "I want to be a hippie" days. And not a hippie like my friend Sarah who is a hippie mom using cloth diapers, organic goodness and makes her own wipes. A hippie in that I had awesomesauce long curly hair (no it wasn't real. yes it was permed but not like horrible 80's perm with bangs...like it looked legit and peeps thought it was totes real...sometimes I still wish I had this hair), 90% of my shirts were from thrift stores (you know the ones...a little league tee with "bubba" and a number on the back that is really for a second grader but it looks so sweet paired with some faded jeans and birks), I had hemp bracelets and necklaces. All that was missing was a joint in my hand and the lack of a bra. But I didn't smoke pot and wore bras (though probs didn't even need one). Anyway, I grew up and out of this phase but deep down I still long to be a hippster (still sans cloth diapers, homemade wipes and doobies).

Hope you enjoyed this reflection as much as me but you're probs bored so I'll peace out.

Big things are happening around here...

Number 1: our not so little guy has recently started rolling over. He's been rolling from belly to back for a couple months now but for the past couple weeks, he's been on the verge of rolling from back to belly. He would get so close and it took everything in me to not just tap him the rest of the way. Yesterday I left him with my mom for like an hour and when I got back she said "you've seen him roll onto his back, right?" To which I replied "I'm going to smack you in the face." She wasn't joking. The first time he ever rolled onto his back was with my mother. Are you kidding me? This was the major reason I wanted to be the one to stay home and see all his firsts! I'm not really mad, chill out. Today before we left for his doctors appointment he rolled over. TWICE. I know, I know he's like an all-star but hello, he's my child. Duh. I freaked out and probably scared some poop out of him when I was yelling and clapping and about to cry (ok I wasn't about to cry but I was flipping out). He looked up at me from his belly like "wth just happened? Am I walking or something? Save your energy for some of my bigger achievements, mother."

Number 2: He went to the doctor for his 4 month check-up. Here are his current stats:

Weight: 15 pounds 12 ounces (70%)

Height: 26 1/2 " (93%)

Head: 58%

Still a long, skinny boy with a little head. It's no wonder, the kid kicks his legs like he's about to run a marathon so he keeps those cals off. Smarty pants. So that was the fun part. Then he had to have shots. It didn't help that I had the wrong time for our appt. so we had to wait for 45 minutes in the waiting room. He was already about to lose it and kick some nurses in the jaw. So, he's laying there all semi-happy looking at his light up toy I was holding when out of nowhere they stuck him in both legs at the same time. It was the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. I think he screamed some F bombs, but I let them slide because he was pissed and I don't blame him. Then he looked at me like I was a straight up hooker and he was going to slap me. He eventually calmed down and passed out in the car. Now he has battle scars in the shape of some stupid cartoon character band aids that he probably hates.

passed out before we got out of the parking lot.

Number 3: His doctor gave us the green light to start giving him cereal. I was surprised because originally I had thought she pushed for 6 months. I don't think I want to start it until at least 5 months though. I don't hear a lot of positives about starting them this young. The one thing she did say was that the cereal could help with his reflux.

Well he's screaming more cuss words through the monitor at me and I have to get ready for the bachelorette. Here are some pics to entertain you all:Pre-shots. Poor guy has no idea what's coming, he's just somewhat loving life because he's almost naked. He gets strangely excited to be naked before bath time every night. Worries me a little.
Just watching Nemo...nbd.

On this day in history...

B and I started TTC (trying to conceive) back in November 2009. There were several months during this time that I was late and got all excited and peed on a couple sticks, only to see 1 line instead of 2 and have my heart drop as were back to trying for another month. Now I'm not going to get all "woe is me" because we tried for 7 months. We have several friends TTC right now and are having a much more difficult time than us so I'm quick to count our blessings. However it was still hard each month. So in July 2010 I was slow to get excited when I was about a week late. In fact it hadn't really even occurred to me yet. Every year, B and his dad go up to Joliet, IL for a nascar race (don't even get me started) the weekend after the 4th of July. Last year they thought it would be fun for ALL of us to go. I kept insisting it really wasn't necessary but the tickets were bought so it was a done deal. B went up early with his dad and for some reason I couldn't go until Saturday. So Friday night I was hanging out in Champaign with B's sister who also happens to be a B (not THAT kind of B) so I'll just call her by her name, Britany. After we ate dinner we went to Target and while there I happened to mention I was about a week late but thought it was just because I was stressed or something. She got all excited and said "buy a test and take it here!!" I said, "meh...I'll do it but you're going to be disappointed because I've had this happen before" I knew not to get my hopes up but I usually did anyway. For some reason this time I didn't have high hopes at all. So there I sat, in the Target bathroom as they were announcing they were closing in 10 minutes peeing on yet another stick. I waited for it to show the usual 1 line.....wth there were 2 lines. TWO LINES?! It was pretty light though so I told Britany to "get the heck out here and look at this" so she did and we looked for awhile and contemplated. We came to the conclusion another test was in order so we drove to Walgreens, picked up a digital one that says either "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and a bottle of water so I could chug it. Here's a pic of test #1:

We went back to Britany's house and after a few minutes I was ready to pee on #2. This one turned pretty quick and told me I was "pregnant" I squealed and then sat on the bathroom floor for a second to process. Britany's hubby was also there so we had to tell him because he assumed one of us was knocked up. He was thankful it was me. After that we drove to Meijer to look at baby clothes (naturally...I mean it's only 11:00 at night...why not?) I knew I didn't want to tell B on the phone so I had to wait ALL night and most of the day Saturday before I could tell him. I got like zero sleep that night as my head was going like non-stop. By the time we got up to Joliet, I had taken 4 tests and I had them all in a Ziploc baggie to show B (creative I know). As soon as I got a second alone with him I whipped out my baggie filled with my pee and showed it to him. It took him a second (you get a little dumber when you're at a nascar race. and I will not apologize for that statement ever) and he looked and me and said "you're pregnant?!" I was too excited for a sarcastic remark. So as much as I hate HATE to say it, nascar has a special place in my heart. Ew. But that was where I got to tell B he was going to be a baby daddy and he was so excited. Here's a pic of us after he knew:I was so unaware at this point how many times in the next 3 months I would be tossing my cookies and feeling like pure shiz. I was also completely unaware how much I would love such a little tiny nugget. It was a good pregnancy...easy. Minus the fat lady feet I obtained at the end and my stomach being stretched an ungodly amount. All worth it for my little man:

Oh, and it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that between the time I found out I was preggers and my first dr. appt. I took AT LEAST a dozen tests. I can't tell you how many times B got mad at me for buying another one. I just had to me sure....every single day. Is anyone really surprised my son is so high maintenance?