A New Start

I have been in Dallas for two weeks now. Seems like it's been longer, but that's not a bad thing.

I LOVE living in a house. Feel like a real grown-up.

My first couple weeks at work have been good. Nate is so sweet and getting such a big personality!

My first week I managed to tackle a grocery store run with a 5 month old. Not an easy task. It included pushing the cart with one hand while feeding him a bottle with the other. Once getting to the house, one of the dogs escaped (like lightning) out the front door while I was trying to get him to go outside in the back (quirkiest dog ever). After the dog was rescued, and Nate was down for a nap, I realized after searching the house that my keys were locked in my car... needless to say, it was a very full day. The next week was not short of drama and included my attempt to clip sweet little Nate's fingernails (a task I HAVE successfully completed with other babies) and resulted in a small clip of his finger as well... lots of blood (I thought it would never stop) and lots of screaming.  I felt horrible and it was very stressful for both of us. Regardless of the stressful moments, I couldn't be more happy with my job.

My roommates love to do things together, which I love. We all sat on the couch and watched Fiddler on the Roof this afternoon. I had my Bible study girls over for brunch after church and got to use our GREAT kitchen. Did I mention I love being in a house?! This evening has ended with Golden Globes,a glass of wine, and a snack of goldfish. Who doesn't have goldfish with their wine? Ha!

Yay for an awesome kitchen!

whew...

As you look at the day before you you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all direction. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the one who is with you always, holding you by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled overit, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My Presence.

The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary for you wil lhave leaned to keep you focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you. - Jesus Calling

This was a big encouragement to me a couple weeks ago and now... I am officially moving back to Dallas! It all happened sooo fast, and I am sooo excited. With the help of a sweet friend, I found a place in Dallas to live... I'm looking forward to getting to know the 2 girls I am moving in with!

Next step was to get a job. I had an interview this past weekend and am going to be a full-time nanny for a sweet baby boy! It couldn't be more perfect for me. I will move and start working for them the beginning of January! Meet Nate... isn't he precious?! 

I am going to miss this little man so much (I am a nanny for him in Tyler right now)... he's just so stinkin' cute.

I will also miss my mom a little sis a lot, but I will still be close! I am so overwhelmed by the Lord's faithfulness. He flung the doors wide open for me!


Lot's of reflection going on recently. Holiday time is hard. I miss my daddy. So many things remind me of him, I dream about him, I want to sit and talk to him about everything like I used to. I have never been more grateful for Christ's death and resurrection that give me the hope of eternal life and of seeing my daddy again some day. That demonstration of Christ's love allows me experience sorrow and a pure joy simultaneously.


I love you with and everlasting Love, which flows out from the depths of eternity. Before you were born, I knew you. Ponder the awesome mystery of a Love that encompasses you from before birth to beyond the grave. - Jesus Calling

E'en for the dead i will not bind my soul to grief, 

Death cannot long divide.

For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall

Has blossomed on the other side?

Death doth hide,

But not divide;

Thou are but on Christ's other side! 

Thou are with Christ, and Christ with me;

In Christ united still are we. 

- Streams in the Desert

And finally... it's Christmas time! I hope everyone is enjoying corny Christmas music and lights as much as I am! :)

(Sorry for the weird spacing... that happens when I copy and paste and I haven't figured out how to fix it!)

Our Labor is Not in Vain

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Cor 15:56-58


When we are still in the midst of our grief we may be tempted to think that it is unfair to be subject to the sting of death when we are no longer under the law. Because we know that we have been released from the law and given victory over the powers of darkness through our Lord Jesus Christ, we may want to ask why God has allowed death's sting to touch us. There is no easy answer to that question. It seems flippant to respond to such a heartfelt question, born of grief, with the simple statement: "We live in a fallen world which has not yet been fully redeemed." But that really is the only answer. As Christians we must deal with the disparity between our lives in the present and the hope of what is to come. We possess the promise of a bright future yet we live, move, and work in a world that groans while waiting in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed and all of creation to be set right (Romans 8:19, 22). We ourselves groan inwardly also as we wait for that glorious time (Romans 8:23). God must be particularly touched by that groaning when it comes from one who is grieving the death of a loved one.

At moments like these, we reflect upon the marvelous promise about the full manifestation of our adoption as children of God and the redemption of our bodies (Romans 8:23). We also need to remember that this redemption is a process. In that process, we need to focus on the task God has given us to do. For now, that task is grief work. Does that surprise you? So often we think of "God's work" as the missions or teaching Sunday School or some other worthwhile but narrowly focused project. In actuality, the fundamental task God has given us to do is the working out of our salvation (Philippians 2:12). That may include missions work or teaching Sunday School or any of a number of other projects we may undertake in the Lord. Yet surely part of the work that we must do, as we strive to grow in Christ, is to deal honestly with our grief. That is the labor which God has set before us for a season. And we have God's assurance that we do not labor in vain.


Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love by Raymond R. Mitsch and Lynn Brookside

Snippets from readings

Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with me. If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules: 1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there. 2) Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind. This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies. However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine.  - Jesus Calling

When I cannot understand my Father's leading.
And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
Still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading,
God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT.

Canst thou answer this, believer? Canst thou find any reason why thou art so often mourning instead of rejoicing? Why yield to gloomy anticipations? Who told thee that the night would never end in day? who told thee that the winter of thy discontent would proceed from frost to frost, from snow and ice, and hail, to deeper snow, and yet more heavy tempest of despair? Knowest thou not that day follows night, that flood comes after ebb, that spring and summer succeed winter? Hope though then! Hope though ever! For God fails thee not - Spurgeon.

perplexed, but not despairing

Thought of the day:


We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken, struck down, but not destroyed. - 2 Cor 4:8-9


We are perplexed, often uncertain, and in doubt of what will become of us, and not always without anxiety in our minds on this account; yet not in despair even in our greatest perplexities, knowing that God is able to support us, and to deliver us, and in Him we always place our trust and hope" - Matthew Henry's Commentary. 


On a different note...my last few journals (excluding the one I am actually using right now) have displayed my small about of creative juices - cut out magazine pictures mod pogded onto the front and back of a plain spiral journal (or sometimes only the front, depending on how long my desire to be crafty lasted). Well, I am getting near the end of my current (non crafty) journal and will soon need a new one. 


It's a bad picture, but we had someone make copies of a collection of hymns that have meant something to us over the years. These hymns were placed in a basket at the viewing so people could choose one to take home. We have TONS left over... and that's when I got my idea... 

That after a quick Hobby Lobby trip, turned into this...

I was pretty pleased with the way they turned out (They look much better in real life). No more craftiness until another journal is needed...

Clinging

With everything going on these days there are so many songs, quotes, or entire devotionals I have been reading that describe what I am learning and feeling. Facebook just doesn’t always cut it (too public) and most of the time it’s more than I can write in my journal. I know there are very few people who actually look on here, and the few that do I love very much. :) So this can still be a record of my travels through life, even if I'm not physically traveling!

There are many things that I have grown to understand more in the last few months. Sickness, pain, suffering, and death are a result of the fall and sin in the world. God uses even these things to bring glory to Himself. You have to believe that God is sovereign AND good, loving, and merciful. I also know that in the middle of deep pain and uncertainties, my finite mind can’t see how “all things work together for the good of those that love God” (Rom 8:28). Faith is required, and trusting that “what I do thou knowest not now, but shall know hereafter.” I find I have no choice but cling to, and worship, my Heavenly Father.

“O dear friend, when thy grief presses thee to the very dust, worship there!” - Charles Spurgeon

“My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me” – Psalm 63:8

Cling to the Crucified

anonymous text (from Bonar's “Lyra Consolationis”) with music and text arrangement by Kevin Twit of Indelible Grace

Cling to the Mighty One, Cling in thy grief

Cling to the Holy One, He gives relief

Cling to the Gracious One, Cling in thy pain

Cling to the Faithful One, He will sustain

Cling to the crucified, Jesus the Lamb who died

Cling to the crucified, Jesus the King

Cling to the crucified, Jesus the Lamb who died

Cling to the crucified, Jesus the King

Cling to the Living One, Cling in thy woe

Cling to the Loving One, Through all below

Cling to the Pardoning One, He speaketh peace

Cling to the Healing One, Anguish will cease

Cling to the Bleeding One, Cling to His side

Cling to the Rising One, In Him abide

Cling to the Coming One, Hope shall arise

Cling to the Reigning One, Joy lights thine eyes

Internet time has been pretty scarce, I expected to be able to update more! I can't even begin to explain everything that we've done the last couple of weeks, we have had so much information in such a small amount of time. This last week we have been touring the southern part of Israel. We spent about 15 minutes sitting in the Wilderness of Paran (where the children of Israel wandered for 40 years)... I can maybe see why there would be so much grumbling going on... it was hot! We went snorkeling in the Red Sea and enjoyed seeing the beautiful coral reef there. Yesterday we floated in the Dead Sea, easily one of the weirdest feelings I've ever had. Normal bodies of salt water have 3 or 4 percent salt content, the Dead Sea has something like 28 percent. Looking forward to being back and showing pictures!